Wednesday, October 24th, 2018
Dear Diary... I guess? Dunno how I'm supposed to start this off. Dr Kumar recommended that I buy a journal to jot down my thoughts. Supposedly to keep me grounded and in the present, should I have another panic attack, or whatever the hell that means.
Anyways, it's Wednesday, and I'm supposed to be at work right now. But obviously, I'm not, as I'm writing all of this... I moved out today to a newly built condo located in a quiet, suburban street. I hate to admit it, but I kinda had a minor mental breakdown about a month ago. Kinda left me hyperventilating on the wrong side of the railing on Brooklyn Bridge - took what felt like two intense hours of talking to a police officer, convincing me not to dive into the void. I was immediately whisked away to a hospital afterwards to be evaluated by Dr Kumar, my psychiatrist & therapist. After that day, I went home and immediately listed my apartment for sale. Too many memories left there that I didn't want to keep; I needed a fresh start.
This new place is EXACTLY what the doctor ordered. A modern two-up, two-down (I think that's what it's called, the real estate agent wasn't too helpful) townhouse. It has all the things a growing millennial needs: USB ports in every outlet, high-speed Wi-Fi, good cell reception, a Starbucks just around the block, I'm lovin' this. There's an open kitchen connected to a living room towards the back with these amazing floor-to-ceiling sliding glass doors. These doors lead to a REALLY cute little deck and a tiny patch of grass. I'm told it's called a '"lawn," but I've seen lawns before, and this was the short end of the stick. Then again, I wouldn't know, I've only lived in apartments. Towards the front of the house, there's an empty room. Until I have more money, that room remains unfurnished. I dunno, I guess it'll just end up being a storage closet or something. Upstairs, there's my bedroom and bathroom. The bedroom sits at the back of the house, and the bathroom takes up the front. The whole place is wide open, spacious, and it lets the light in. The real estate agent says that it'll feel like my soul is taking a big breath of fresh air, which I have to say is very spot on.
I have a neighbor next door, and I assume that their house is similar to mine. I haven't met them yet, but we may bump into each other soon I guess.
Imma unpack some of my stuff. It should help me to ease my anxieties about my new place if everything's placed in order.
Do you say goodbye to a Diary? I dunno. There should be a guide about Diary etiquette online somewhere… I'll have to check soon.
So it's 10:30-ish? I just got back to my room after frantically searching my house for a breaker box. Can you believe it? Just 12 hours in, and I get a power cut! I fell asleep with the light on and I guess the sudden absence of light woke me up. I leapt out of bed and thought I was blind. Suburbia is pitch-black at night. My eyes eventually adjusted as I fumbled my way down the stairs into the kitchen. Annoyingly, I remembered that I left my iPhone beside my bed. I scrambled my way back up to get it. I flicked on the flashlight on my phone and scanned the entire kitchen for the breaker box. Except.. it wasn't in the kitchen, nor was it in the living room. It was in that stupid spare room, behind 4 boxes of my junk. It was a struggle, but I was able to move the boxes. I dunno how the moving guys do it, they weigh a TON. Anyways, I lifted the lid to reveal the breaker switches... but nothing tripped? I was wondering who I needed to call when I heard a dull thud... followed by a sharp click. Confused and perplexed, I held my breath for about 5 seconds and then I heard the hum of the fridge. The power was back on. My heart was still pounding from the suspense.
I emerged from the spare room into the partially illuminated kitchen and walked to the fridge for a late-night snack. I could've sworn I saw something from the corner of my eye, just as I was about to turn and head for the stairs. It looked like there was someone on the deck. I rushed to activate the outdoor lights. It's one of those halogen security lights thingies that are motion sensitive, but they need to be manually reset after a power cut. A burst of light blinded me and shone onto the deck and the lawn behind it. No trace of anything. No figures, no footsteps, not even any shit from an animal. Whatever the hell that was, it's gone now
I'm losing it again. Already...
