Jay camped himself out in front of Erin's apartment. He had with him enough Chinese take away to feed a small army. He didn't expect Erin to show up but he hoped she would, he didn't know where else to look, Voight wouldn't tell him which bar Bunny worked at.

He was halfway through a spring roll when he heard the sound of people coming down the corridor. He looked up and saw Erin coming towards him, Landon beside her. He'd only met Landon once, Landon had been with Lindsay when Jackson Park tried to kill her. He felt bad for the guy getting caught up in that mess but he disliked him in principle, he was facilitating Erin's spiral into all things bad. He stood up waiting for them to see him.

"Jay what are you doing here?" Erin asked as she approached him.

"I wanted to see you," he said stepping forward.

"Well now you've seen me, you can go." Erin stepped forward to unlock the door.

"Erin," he reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder but she quickly shrugged it away, "Let me in I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine," she said fumbling her keys.

"No you're not," he wanted to reach out and touch her again but he held himself back. "You look like you haven't slept in days and you smell of alcohol, that's not like you Erin. You're not okay."

"You don't know me," she said finally getting the door unlocked. "I'm bad news Jay and you need to stay away from me. I don't want you to get hurt too."

She stepped inside, he wanted to follow her but Landon grabbed his arm. "Just give her some space man," he said not letting him inside.

"Let go of me," he said wrenching his arm from Landon's grip. He tried to step inside again but Landon stood in his way.

"Give her some space," he told him again, "she'll come to you when she's ready."

"Erin!" he called into the apartment but he could no longer see her and didn't know if she could hear him.


...

Erin kept her head down as she walked into the apartment. Nadia's things were still everywhere and she couldn't bring herself to look at them, not today, not right now. She went into her bedroom and pulled out a bag from the closet. In it she threw several sets of underwear, a pair of jeans, a pair of leggings and a few tops. She grabbed her toothbrush from the bathroom and threw that in too. Anything else she needed she could buy on the road. She didn't want to spend any more time than necessary at her apartment.

She could still hear Jay and Landon talking at her front door; she went to the kitchen and pulled two beers from the fridge. She stuck one in her bag and twisted the top off the other. She took a swig and walked to her front door with her head down, she didn't make eye contact with either man as she reached them. Instead she pulled the door shut behind her and walked past both of them. She heard Jay call out to her but she didn't look back, she didn't want him to see the look in her eyes. It hurt to be walking away from him but it was what she needed to do.


...

'Rocklahoma,' Jay thought to himself, 'one week.' He wasn't sure he could stand waiting that long but Landon said he'd look after Erin. Not that he really trusted the guy. From what he could tell he hadn't done anything good for Erin, only encouraged her to do all the things she shouldn't be doing. He'd given him the name of the bar though, the one he'd be able to find her at when they returned.

He picked up the rest of his Chinese food and began the walk back to his car. He was feeling inadequate as a friend but short of stalking her there was nothing more he could do. He didn't want to go home though; he didn't want to be alone in his apartment. Instead he found himself driving to Matador's. The lights were still on in the boxing gym so he parked his car and picked up all the Chinese food. Maybe he could share the meal with Antonio he thought, he could use a friend to talk to, and a bag to punch.


...

Sitting at a small table inside the gym Antonio shuffled paperwork, he wasn't expecting anyone but when he heard a knock at the door and then saw Jay's face looking in through the window he smiled. He smiled even wider when he saw the bag of Chinese food he was carrying. He hadn't realised how late it was getting.

"Hey mate, what brings you here?" he asked Jay as he closed the door and locked it again.

"I didn't feel like eating alone," Jay said holding up the bag of food.

"Ay," Antonio said as they began to walk back to the table, "you've been at Erin's again haven't you?" he asked.

"Yeah," Jay said shrugging his shoulders, "she showed up this time, wasn't interested in talking though. She's been hanging with that Landon guy. He said they were going out of town for a few days. Rocklahoma or something. She was only there a few minutes."

"Geeze," Antonio said as they reached the table, "Did she look okay?"

"Nah," Jay said shaking his head, "she looked terrible. But she made it quite clear she's not interested in my help. I don't know what else I can do."

"Tough," Antonio said as he cleared away his paperwork, they took the boxes of Chinese out the bag and sat down.


...

Voight walked into the technology and surveillance rooms. Mouse was sitting at a computer; many strings of data were running across the screens. Voight didn't know what his tech expert was up to half the time, he didn't really care as long as he kept producing the information the unit needed when they needed it. He'd told him on more than one occasion he had his back if he ever got caught, so long as he had a good reason for doing whatever he was doing.

"Mouse," he said getting his attention.

Mouse jumped in his seat, "Voight," he said seeing who had walked up to him. "I have what you asked for, every transaction for the last three days." He spun around on his chair and reached for a piece of paper, "she didn't use the cards at all yesterday or the day before but twenty minutes ago she paid for some gas and brought something from the bottle shop."

"Thanks," Voight said taking the report, "keep monitoring her accounts, and this stays between us."

"Of course," Mouse said and he turned back to his computer.

Voight took the paper back to his office and slipped it into his draw. He took comfort in knowing Erin was still spending money, though what she was buying troubled him. He picked up his phone and tried calling her again but like every other time the phone just rung until she rejected his call. He left her a message but he wasn't expecting a call back anytime soon.


...

In the car Erin drank while Landon drove. She watched the city change to suburbs, and the suburbs to country. They were on the highway, and then the open road. She didn't talk, the radio played but she wasn't listening to the music. Landon tried to start a conversation but she just gave grunts and one word answers. She didn't want to talk and she didn't care where they stopped for dinner as long as she could keep drinking. She didn't care which route they took, she didn't even care if they got there or not. She wanted to disappear, become inviable; she didn't want to hurt the ones she cared about. It hurt pushing them away, there was a big gaping hole in her heart which ached with every breath she took but she knew within her that she was doing the right thing. If she stayed where she was they would get hurt, they always got hurt. So for now she drank in the vain hope that it would fill the hole in her heart, take the pain away. It wasn't working, all it could do was numb the pain, nothing it would seem could take it away. It was her fault Nadia was dead, if she'd just left her alone she'd still be alive. She wasn't good like Hank, she couldn't be the one to save someone and she was no good, she was bad for everyone.

A few hours out of the city they stopped at a Walmart, Landon brought sleeping bags, a tent, water, and a bunch of convenience food. Erin brought more beer and liquor and a few bottles of pop as mixers. They had dinner at McDonalds, Landon brought her a happy meal, the toy was a snowman figurine from some kids movie. She played with the toy, she wasn't interested in eating but Landon nagged her until she ate the meal. It made her feel sick and twenty minutes later she vomited it all up on the side of the road. Landon laughed at her, she threatened to walk away but they were literally in the middle of nowhere. She hopped back in the car and they stopped at the next hotel they passed.

Erin walked into the hotel room feeling horrible, she was weak and shaky and her head was spinning. In the bathroom she vomited again, and again. Her stomach and all the muscles in her chest ached but she felt slightly better. She turned on the shower and hopped under the warm water. She washed her body and her hair with the hotel provided toiletries, she brushed her teeth, she began to feel almost human again. It was a feeling she welcomed until she realised it was happening. She didn't want to feel human. She quickly hopped out the shower and walked back into the main room, Landon was laying on the bed watching the television.

"You feeling better?" he asked.

She didn't answer his question, just glared at him. "You got any pills?" she asked instead.

He seemed to roll his eyes at her but he got up and walked to his bag. He pulled a bottle and tipped out a little blue pill.

"What is it?" she asked taking the pill from him, she was already swallowing it as he gave her the answer.

"A sleeping pill," he told her, "go lay down, you've had enough for now."

She rolled her eyes at him but did as he said. She lay down in the bed and waited for sleep to take her away.


...

Voight looked at the print out of Erin's credit card transactions, she was moving south, she'd left Chicago. He wasn't sure if he should feel pissed off or relieved. She was getting away from Bunny, but she wasn't coming to him. Then it crossed his mind maybe Bunny was with her, that thought worried him more than anything else in the last week. He got up, walked out his office and headed to his car. He drove to Bunny's bar, hopping to see the woman behind the counter.

He stepped through the front door and there was Bunny.

"What are you doing here Hank?" she said throwing him a dirty look.

"Where's Erin?" he said not answering her question.

"Not here," she replied not even trying to hide the distain in her voice.

"I can see that. Where is she?" he asked again, "I've given her space, now it's time for her to come home."

"You're not her home Hank," Bunny said showing a smug look on her face, "you're not her family. She made that clear last time you were here."

He sucked in a deep breath and told himself to keep a level head; Bunny was trying to stir him.

"You don't know where she is do you?" He said trying to stir her back.

"I know," Bunny said but he saw the look in her eye, the tell which let him know she was lying.

"You're full of crap," he said stepping towards her, "you wanted her to spend time with family but you can't even keep her under your roof for a week."

He walked out the bar feeling satisfied that Erin wasn't running out of town with her mother but still with no idea of where she was going, or when she would come home.


...

Jay sat alone in his apartment, a beer in his hand and a documentary about sea turtles playing on the television. He held his phone in the other hand. He brought up Erin's number, a smiling picture of her showed on his screen. He wanted to call her, but he knew she wouldn't answer, he knew he needed to give her the space she so desperately wanted but it was hard. One week he told himself, one week and she would be back in town and he wouldn't let her run away from him this time.