"I don't care how you do it, I just want it done. Now." He didn't understand half of what Garcia was trying to explain to him and he didn't have the patience to try. The upshot was that it was taking too long to find out where the organization was holding their prisoners, and that wasn't acceptable.

"Yes, sir." Garcia's voice was shaky and a few notes higher than usual. She backed halfway out of the room until she ran, literally, into Rossi.

"Sorry." She turned and hurried out of the room, heading for her office and the phone; she might need Kevin's help today.

"Do you need something?" Hotch barely looked up from the papers on his desk.

"I thought I'd come in here and volunteer to be your punching bag before you try and go through the rest of the team." Rossi closed the door to the office behind him before approaching the desk.

"A little dramatic, don't you think, Dave?" He was still only giving Rossi half of his attention. His mind was on the papers on his desk though he was careful not to look down; Dave could read him too well, and the fact that he already knew that something was wrong was more than Aaron wanted to share.

"You didn't see the look on Garcia's face when she left here. I don't think she'd looked that scared since that son of a bitch Battle was here. Why did you bite her head off like that? You know she's the fastest there is; if she can't find the answer you're looking for there has to be a reason."

"I'll apologize to her later." He knew, rationally, that it wasn't her fault that things weren't going fast enough, but at the moment all he cared about was finding the location of the group. Lives depended on it, more lives than he had realized before his trip to Renee's apartment with Andi.

"I know that you will. She's not the one that I'm worried about right now. You've been wound twice as tight as usual since you and Andi got back. Is there something you didn't mention at the briefing?"

"Nothing the team needs to know." Nothing the team could know, not without making an already difficult case ten times harder.

"I'm not the team, Aaron. Talk to me."

For just a minute Hotch was tempted, but even if telling someone else made him feel better it was only going to bring Dave's day to a crashing stop, and make it harder for him to keep his head in the game. More than ever he needed everyone to be focused. "I can't. I need you to trust me on this, Dave."

"Is Erin giving you trouble again? Because I can..."

"It's not Strauss. I'll tell you when I can, alright? And I'll apologize to Garcia." His fingers itched to pick up the letter on his desk, the one Andi had given him, to read it for the third time and hope that some miracle had happened and the words had changed. He needed to be alone first, though. "Would you mind checking on her? I think you'd do a better job of calming her down right now."

"I'll do what I can. You know where to find me when you're ready to talk." Dave hesitated only another few seconds before reluctantly leaving. Hotch counted to ten before opening the file Andi had given him and taking out the letter written in a familiar script on yellow legal paper. His lips were pressed together so hard that they turned white, and the frown lines on his forehead that seemed ever present deepened into canyons.

Hotch -

I've had a lot of time to think about this. I know you're going to disagree, but I believe this is the best way for everyone. You're shaking your head now, frowning and maybe even lecturing me through this piece of paper. You think that if I told you then somehow you could have helped me, watched out for me, kept anything bad from happening. You probably think you could have talked me out of doing this, which might be true and is the other reason I didn't tell you.

Mostly, though, I kept this a secret because you would worry, and you do too much of that already. This is something I need to do. It's the right thing to do, and I know you believe that even if you wish I wasn't the one doing it. Don't blame Andi for anything that happens. She presented the case to me but it was my choice and I walked into this with both eyes open. People are dying, Hotch. Young women are being killed and you know I can't turn away from that. I think you understand why, too.

I'm sorry I had to lie to you. I'm sorry you're reading this in a letter and not hearing it from me. I hope I get the chance to explain in person, and that you can forgive me. If I don't then I need you to know that I am grateful for my time working with you; I'm a better agent because I've worked with you, and a better person for knowing you. I am grateful for the family that I found at the BAU. I know you're looking out for them; I hope you're letting them look out for you.

I only left the BAU three days ago, and already I miss the team so much. Coming back to Henry and coming back to the team are the two things that will see me through to the end of the case. If you're reading this now I hope it means the end is in sight, that justice is coming for these people who have caused so much pain. Someone needs to stop them; we see some many terrible things in our job but this is one of the worst. I couldn't turn a blind eye.

Take care of yourself, Hotch, and give Jack a hug from me. I would tell you not to worry about me, but I know that's not going to happen.

Your friend,

JJ


They drugged the food. She hated eating it, knowing it made her thinking sluggish and her body more compliant, but without food she'd be weak and have trouble thinking anyway. There were no utensils, but she used the chicken patty to scoop up the beans and drowned out the flavor after she ate with the Kool-Aid. Her hands were sticky; what she wouldn't give for the diaper wipes she used to carry with her everywhere. She laughed a little; being dirty was the least of her problems.

Tonight or tomorrow she would be auctioned off, again. This time she might not be so 'lucky.' Some customers only wanted sex, others wanted human punching bags, but there were those that wanted nothing less than to look a person in the eye and take their life.


This was it. He knew, as they neared the abandoned factory, that it was the place they'd been looking for with the same certainly that he had known that Foyet was at his old home with Haley. Tonight's outcome had to be different, through. He couldn't lose JJ. It was bad enough losing her to a safe, ordinary job. Knowing that she was healthy and happy he could live with; seeing her like the co-eds in the trunk would kill him.

"I needed to break this group, and she was one of the best people for the job. I'm sorry that you're upset with me but I needed her. She's good, Hotch. You know how good she is." It was the first time since they'd gotten into the SUV that Andi had spoken, both of them focused on where they were going and what might happen. It also wasn't a good time to have the conversation, so Hotch didn't answer.

There was a scraping of metal on metal as they drove through a chain link fence. He touched the gun strapped to his side, felt his back up gun heavy against his ankle, and rested his hand on the handle of the car door. He needed to be ready to move the moment the car stopped. Every second that passed felt like borrowed time.

"We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for your team, Hotch. The only good thing about these last couple of days has been watching the way they work together. They're something special." Andi's hands on the steering wheel were as tense as his on the door handle, but her voice was calm and even.

"They're the best at what they do," Aaron said tersely. He had no focus to make polite conversation, especially not with her. He'd made an effort to be professional and courteous when the rest of the team was around, but just then it was too much.

Seconds later they pulled up to the buildings. There were twenty-six of them, counting the SWAT team. Hotch quickly divided them into three groups, sending Seever towards what looked like an abandoned building, Dave and Morgan towards one that had footprints around it, and paired himself with Andi to take the third building. He wanted to remind everyone that there were hostages in the building, to be careful, but they were all aware and stressing the point wasn't going to help anything.

"They're here somewhere. Let's go find them."

Dave gave him a look, just before they separated, that said he was waiting for something more. When it didn't come he frowned and took off down one hallway with Morgan, gun drawn.