THE YAOI INVASION
"Let god have mercy on my enemies, for I wont." That cannot be more true then the truth of yaoi...
CHAPTER 2: The Ravalation
Tyler sat watching the news, George Bush seemed to have molested a goat in his basement while being video taped by Wynoa Rider.
"Why the fuck would they then broadcast it on channel 3? Isn't that supposed to be a Christian network?" James flopped down on the vomit-brown couch and stealing the remote from the broken table.
"Hell, Id watch nuns get fucked by school teachers any day." Patrick said, coming out of the bathroom after his daily wanking to his hentai-pictures.
"Ok, one, most nuns ARE teachers, and two, NUNS ARE FUCKING CATHOLIC! YOU DUMBFUCK!" Tyler screamed.
"DONT SCREAM AT ME!" Patrick yelled with tears in his eyes.
"Hey, Tyler, what the hell's up with your tv?"
"Huh? Nothings wrong with my---what in the name of fucking hot pockets.."
The tv started to flicker, swirls of color circled the tv before the static cleared, showing a pimple-faced girl with a half-top that was molded into her fat-asian skin.
"OH JESUS! MY VIRIGN EYES!" Patrick screamed, falling to the floor, clutching his eyes with his hands with blood seeping through the cracks.
"ATT3NTION 3VRYONE! Upper score lower slash upper score! TDAY IS A RAVALTION! WE MUT STOOP TEH YOLI HAT3RS FR0M BSHING ARE YAOI! Less than capital "X" capital "P"! EVRYONE DECNT SITICEN STAND UP AND STO TEH IGNORNT FUCKTRDS FROM SAYING YAOIS BAD, BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY, KILL ALL TEH HA3RS! EQUAL SIGN CAPITAL "D"!
"Is she talking about yaoi-fangirls?" Tyler said, squinting at the tv screen to try and make out the fat peices of skin that made her face.
"What the hell is a yaoi?"
"It's the falling of man..." Patrick said in a dark and serious voice, the blood seeping from his eye sockets.
"Dude...are you alright?" James asked, half concerned half scared.
"No..I am not alright, the revolution has begun of yaoi."
"What are you talking about?..." Tyler said standing up, becoming scared.
"They've been plotting this since 2001, when Gravitation came to America. It gave them an oppertunity to show that there is a real gay romance in yaoi, instead of all the "hints" that two male characters in DBZ were in love, even though there was no proof."
"Jesus..." James whispered.
"Now...Wel Zenn must have pissed them off so much that they actually got their fat asses off the couch and did something...SOMETHING YOU GUYS!"
"Well, there cant be to many of them." Patrick whispered, trying to lighten the mood.
Patrick walked over to him sternly.
"Hundreds of millions of thousands of billions of trillions of them..."
"My god.."
"We need to find shelter." Tyler said, getting up and locking the door.
"They'll break through..." Patrick whispered.
"KKYYYYAAA!"
"WHAT THE FUCK!"
Tyler's fatass sister whos been in her room for months came at them with a katana.
"LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!!!" She swung the katana at them, luckily she only moved about 2 inches since they saw her due to her physique.
"Quick! Kill her!" James yelled.
"Im on it!" Tyler yelled and picked up the lamp and sprinted towards her. He held the lamp over his head high before coming down in a climactic crash. The lamp split her head open, sending blood flying into the air as she fell to the ground in a heap of fat shit.
Tyler got to his knees and started bashing her head open even more, fragmenting her skull into peices and flying onto his clothes. "THIS IS FOR KINGDOM HEARTS! THIS IS FOR NARUTO! THIS IS FOR EVANGELION! THIS IS FOR AREA 88! THIS IS FOR FULL METAL ALCHEMIST!" He continued his rant until her heard loud gasping outside of his house.
"What the fuck! ZOMBIES!" James screamed backing up against the wall.
"No...theyre just fat yaoi fangirls." Patrick said walking to the window. Several overweight diabetics were roaming the streets, there puss-filled eyes were glazed from the amount of vagina juice squrited on them while writing their fanfiction.
The gasping for air became louder, they hadnt moved in months, and were so fat that the littlest amount of exercise made them exhausted.
"We have to go!" Tyler screamed, running towards the back door, flinging it open, the sky was blood red, the blood of all their victims.
James and Patrick followed behind and went into his backyard. They leaped over the wooden fence and ran down the street. Tyler still had the lamp, James grabbed a butter-knife on the way out, and Patrick grabbed a trash-can lid just then. The yaoi fangirls turned to them, groaning "Ignorant idiots!...lawl...lawl...lawl." They formed a big fat circle around them.
"Tyler! What are we going to do!" James whined
Tyler narrowed his eyes.
"We fight."
...lawl
