Dislcaimer

Adventure Time belongs to the ultimate supreme entity of epic that is Pendleton Ward and his amazing staff.

Not me.

But the two little lullabies that appear ARE mine. How, I don't know; I never sleep.


"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Marshall Lee the Vampire King groaned in annoyance and threw the covers off of himself, floating up out of bed and leaving Finn to peacefully suck his thumb in blissful sleep.

Lucky bastard.

The source of the ungodly wail that woke up the immortal was none other than their daughter, Gwynn.

Now, Marshall loved Gwynn. She was his beautiful, adorable, soft, squishy daughter who he treasured with all his heart.

But she was barely two months old and already driving him crazy.

Lee floated into the little wing of the treehouse that served as her room, the moonlight illuminating it quite nicely. Gwynn cried in her crib, thrashing and screaming, as though she were in the midst of a terrible nightmare. Taking a deep breath, Lee scooped her up and began gently rocking her back and forth.

"The moon's in the sky..." he sang. "The day's said goodbye. So dry your tears...no need to cry."

Gwynn stared up at her father, shining red eyes still wet with tears, but cries dulling at his smooth, silky voice.

"'Cuz no one knows, Gwynn, what tomorrow'll bring. And until tomorrow comes, I'll float here, and sing."

In no time at all, Gwynn was asleep again, sucking her thumb in the exact same manner as Finn. Sighing, Lee nestled her back in her crib, floating silently out of her room.


The following morning...


Marshall Lee poured himself a bowl of cornflakes, drowning it with strawberry milk. Grabbing a spoon, he wolfed it down, as though he was castaway that had returned home after many years.

"'Sup, dude?" said Finn as he bounded into the kitchen, whistling a happy tune and grabbing a bag of sliced bread.

That was one of the many things the vampire loved about Finn. He had come to terms with his sexuality, fallen in love with a 1000+ year old vampire with loose morals, gotten married, fathered a child, for gob's sakes, but had still remained the same goofy Finn he always was. He was is own dude, and the brunette took great solace in that fact.

"Can' ta'." mumbled Lee through a mouthful of cornflakes. "Mus' ea'."

Finn chuckled and popped two slices of bread into the toaster, pressing the lever down. "Heard you last night, by the way."

Lee spat out his breakfast, almost choking as Finn leaned against the counter with a smug look on his face. Faster than Finn could even breathe, Lee had zoomed over to Finn and grabbed him by his collar, hoisting him up.

"You didn't hear a THING." hissed the vampire, his long, forked tongue darting out between his fangs.

Finn, undaunted by Lee's threat, shrugged. "I dunno why yore getting so huffy. You've got a great singing voice. And Gwynn thinks so, too."

Pouting, Lee let Finn drop back down to the floor, slumping down to the ground in exhaustion.

"What's wrong, Marshall?" asked the hero, putting an arm around the brunette.

"It's just...I love Gwynn, y'know?" replied the vampire. "But since she was born...we haven't had a moment's peace. She cries...ALL...THE...TIME."

Finn blinked. "Dude, she's a baby."

"I know, I know..." whined Lee. "But...I miss all the stuff we used to do before we got her. We'd lie awake at night, listing the things we liked about each other...we'd go out to dinner every once in a while...I'd spike your drink and do things to you while you were unconscious..."

"WHAT?"

"The point is," continued Lee, waving away Finn's exclamation. "We never have US time anymore. Just once I'd like to have one night where we could do all the things we did when we were first dating, y'know?"

The vampire sighed and slumped against the counter as the toaster shot out Finn's toast. Taking it, the hero began spreading butter and raspberry jam on it, brows furrowed in thought.

After a few minutes of silence, he spoke.

"Why don't we just get a babysitter?"

Marshall Lee whirled his head around to look up at Finn, who backed away from the crazed look in his red eyes.

"See, Finn, THIS is why I love you."


"So," said Finn, piece of paper clenched in his hand and pencil in the other as he sat on the sofa. "Who are our options?"

Lee tapped his chin as he floated upside-down. "Hmm...Jake?"

"Nah, that won't work."

"Oh, right; she keeps trying to eat him."

"Cake?"

"Same problem."

"Marceline?"

"I do NOT want Gwynn hanging around that wannabe punk rocker." hissed Lee, making Finn snicker.

"Okay, okay...Fionna?"

Lee stared. "Are you serious?"

"What?" replied Finn.

"Do you not remember what happened the last time we left Fionna and Gwynn together?"


"Maloso vobiscum et cum spirit-"

SMACK! "WHAT THE CRUMB ARE YOU DOING?"

Fionna whimpered and rubbed the spot on her head where Lee slapped her, letting her crystal sword fall to the ground. From within the center of a PHIL FACE laughed Gwynn, clapping her hands in delight at the sight before her, oblivious to the danger that nearly befell her.

"You were trying to banish my daughter to the NIGHTOSPHERE?" seethed Lee, his eyes going dangerously read.

"She BIT me!" sniffled Fionna, holding up her hand. Two large circles were on the side, one still leaking blood. "I could turn into a vampire!"

"I'LL turn you into a vampire right now! Get over here!"

"EEK!"


Finn shuddered. "Point taken. Princess Bubblegum?"

"Hm...she seems like a good choice." But then a thought struck him. "Wait, isn't Lemongrab doing his quarterly inspection today?"

"Dang...wait, what about Prince Gumball?"

"I think we'll run into a similar problem; Limesnag's in town, too."

Finn sighed and flopped back on the sofa. "We're running out of options, dude..."

"...What about Marceline's dad?"

"I'm pretty sure he'll try to nom her."

"So my mom's out, I guess?"

The duo sighed as they listed off all the possible people who could babysit their little undead daughter. They were about to give up when a thought crossed Finn's mind.

And based on this thought alone, the blonde wondered if he was finally going insane.


Marshall Lee floated behind Finn as the hero dialed into his phone, a sour look on his sickly green face. "Finn, you've lost your mind."

"I know." He placed the phone to his ear as it began ringing.

"I mean, of all the people to ask...there's gotta be someone else."

"There's no one else." Ring, ring.

Lee's nonexistent heart fluttered. Maybe it would go to voicemail...

Click. "Hello?"

FUCK.

"Uh, hey there." said Finn nervously, twirling the phone cord. "I-it's Finn."

The voice on the other end cackled, a sound that was both alluring and spine-chilling. "Finn! One of my two favorite blondes! To what do I owe the pleasure? Called to finally tell me you dumped Marshall and realized you couldn't let a catch like me go?"

Lee ground his teeth as his sensitive ears picked up the speaker's words, inadvertently setting the ceiling on fire.

Holding back bile, Finn continued. "Um, no. You see, Marshall and I were th-thinking of going out tonight a-a-and, we need a babysitter..."

"A BABYSITTER?" screeched the voice, its sheer volume putting out the spreading flames on the ceiling. "THAT'S WHY YOU CALLED?"

Having had enough, Lee zoomed over and snatched the phone out of Finn's hand, readying his 'Vampire Game Face.'

"Listen here, you wannabe-royal psycho." hissed the brunette. "We've tried literally EVERYBODY else and trust me when I say you're the LAST person we wanted to do this. Seriously, the LICH is before you."

"Why, you-"

"SHUT IT! Now listen here; you don't like me, and I don't like you. But you DO like Finn. And if you do this favor for us, he'll make it worth your while."

Off to the side, Finn gave Lee an incredulous look and mouthed 'I will?'

"So? Whaddya say?"

A few tense moments of silence as Lee floated, awaiting the speaker's response.

"Okay. Deal."

"Fantastic." said Lee smugly as Finn gaped in horror. "We'll be there at around 6pm."

"See you then. And tell Finn I'm looking forward to it, heh, heh, heh..."

Snarling in disgust, Lee slammed down the phone, hard enough to shatter the little table it was on. The vampire then felt a tug on his arm and turned around to look at a terrified Finn.

"Marshall, I'm scared."

The vampire pulled his wife into a loving embrace as a maddening chill enveloped them both.

"I know, babe. I know."


Several hours later, after all the preparations and other junk were taken care of, the trio of Marshall Lee the Vampire King, Finn the human and Gwynn the...vampirette headed west, to their babysitter's home.

"I still can't believe we're doing this." hissed Lee as he flew the two, his eyes eyes narrowed into slits.

Finn held onto Gwynn tightly, the baby busying herself by playing with the collar of Lee's shirt. "I can't either. Especially what you said I have to do. You realize I gotta kill you later, right?"

Lee nodded as the weather turned from a clear, twilit evening to a dark blue, starry night. Snowflakes slowly started falling around them as they passed dozens of snow-capped mountains.

They made their way further into the Ice Kingdom, finally reading one large mountain in particular with an impressive, ornate wooden door in the side of it. "Well, we're here." grumbled Lee as he dove low. Pulling up at the last second, he landed expertly on the ground, Finn hopping off of him.

"Ready for this?" Finn said, holding onto Gwynn tightly and taking Marshall Lee's hand.

The immortal nodded and took Finn's hand into his own. "As I'll ever be."

Slowly, Marshall Lee raised his hand and knocked on the door, once, twice, three times.

As if on cue, the door whooshed open, revealing a tall, imposing, blue figure that struck fear into the hearts of men...and some women.

"Took you long enough to get here, boys!" cackled the Ice Queen, beckoning the trio in.


Lee and Finn gingerly made their way into the Ice Queen's home, eyes constantly darting too and fro.

"So..." Finn said, trying to break the awkward silence. "I...like what you've done with the place."

The Ice Queen had done some interior designing the last time the hero had visited. Yeah, the majority of the place was still a giant walk-in freezer, but it still maintained a sense of elegance, along with a subtle but present lady's touch.

"Hey, what's that?" Finn asked, pointing at a large, blue ball nestled in a holder next to the TV.

"My exercise ball." replied the smirking ice witch, patting the front of her dress. "Gotta stay in shape, y'know!"

For about half a second, the image of the Ice Queen working out using the exercise ball passed through Finn's mind and he had to resist the urge to throw up.

After a few minutes of walking, they made it to her room. Finn blushed, knowing it had been a long time since he had been in a girl's room. The Ice Queen may have been dangerous and moderately psychotic, but she was still female, as he was painfully reminded of by the sight of all the bras and panties strewn about the room like streamers.

"Ever thought about getting a maid?" smirked Lee, floating to avoid the piles of dirty laundry. Ice Queen simply turned back and made a face at the vampire.

"I don't need a maid; I've got Gina."

"Riiiiiiiiiiiight...and where is Gina?"

"Vacation." Ice Queen replied dismissively. "So, lemme take a look at the little demon."

"Vampire." Lee immediately corrected, narrowing his eyes.

Finn held out Gwynn, whom the Ice Queen carefully took. She looked over the baby vampiress, from under, from over and from every side. "Kinda tiny, ain't she?"

"She's a baby." Lee said matter-of-factly.

Sensing the tension, Finn rushed up to the Ice Queen with a small sheet of paper. "So, here's a list of things your need to know about Gwynn. Remember, she needs to feed every two hours, and if you don't have any milk, red stuff'll do fine. She likes to be sung to sleep, and-"

"Oh, would you relax?" snapped the queen, stowing the paper in her dress pocket. "She might be a vampire, but I know how to take care of kids."

"Sure you do." said Lee, crossing his arms. "Despite having none of your own."

"What?" smirked Ice Queen, slowly moving had hands down her hips. "And ruin this perfect figure?"

"Dear gob, I think I'm gonna hurl."


After much reassuring that everything would be fine, that Finn and Lee wouldn't come back to a Gwynn-sicle and that the vampirette would be completely and totally 100% safe, the pair was finally getting the night out they've wanted for so long. And so, after several tearful, heartfelt goodbyes and death threats against one smarmy ice witch, the two flew off into the distance, the Ice Queen waving goodbye and blowing kisses at a terrified Finn.

Now, a few things you should know in regards to Ice Queen and child-rearing. While she had no children of her own whatsoever, she DID tend to several dozen penguins.

But a baby vampire...well, that'd be a challenge.

Although...this DID temporarily classify her as a MILF.

In a technical sense.

"So..." pondered the Ice Queen, cradling Gwynn in one hand and the duffel bag full of baby items in the other. "What do you feel like doing?"

Gwynn only gurgled in response.

"Uh...huh."

Tossing the bag against her recliner, Ice Queen held Gwynn close (but considerably far from her neck) and strolled into the kitchen to get some ice cream. As she opened the fridge and pulled out the pint, Gwynn squealed in delight and reached for it.

"Uh-uh-uh!" tutted the ice witch. "You're too young for this, squirt. This is triple espresso coffee ice cream with a French vanilla twist. You'll go bouncing off the walls if you have any of this."

Gwynn pouted, an action even the twisted Ice Queen thought was adorable. Vampire or not, Gwynn was still a baby, and babies were cute.

"WAAAAAAH!"

Fuck.


A small shiver went through Marshall Lee's body, and Finn turned to him in concern. "Something bugging you, dude?"

Lee paced the large, grassy clearing they were in, the moonlight illuminating the both of them well enough that the vampire couldn't hide his worry.

"I'm just nervous. What if something goes wrong? What if Gwynn bites her? ...What if she DOESN'T bite her? What if Ice Queen sells her?"

Finn stared. "What the stuff, man? Why would Ice Queen sell Gwynn?"

"For dresses or Grow-Your-Own-Prince kits, what the flan do I know? She's CRAZY!"

Finn snickered and didn't even flinch as Lee turned to glare at him in rage. "I'm glad you find this all so funny, Finn."

"It's not that." said Finn, still smirking as he leaned against a large catapult. "It's just...I've never seen you like this. All fatherly and stuff. It's kinda nice. Never knew that the great Vampire King was such a big ol' softy."

Lee blushed and snarled, setting the palm of his hand ablaze. "Just shut up and load that thing."

Shaking his head in amusement, Finn set a large object in the catapult; one of Princess Bubblegum's jawbreakerworks surrounded by a good seven dozen smaller firecrackers. "Whatever you say, Lee."

"PULL!"


Ice Queen was at her limit. Gwynn had been crying nonstop a whole four minutes and she was close to tearing her magnificent eyebrows out.

"What do you WANT?" shrieked the witch, holding the vampirette at arm's length, her eyes blazing blue.

And that's when she saw it; a large wet spot on the front of Gwynn's diaper and a horrific smell emanating from it.

"Oh, you CAN'T be serious."

Now, Ice Queen had done a lot of things in her life. She had kidnapped princes in desperate attempts to marry them. She had waged miniature war against a 13-year old tomboy and her shapeshifting cat. And there was that one time she got lost in Lumpy Space and had to do some VERY disgraceful things to make it back to the Ice Kingdom.

But she was NOT prepared to add 'changing a diaper' to her list.

"You're on your own for that, kid." said the Ice Queen, unceremoniously dumping Gwynn into the crib she had procured for the tot. "I might be evil, but I've got standards."

Gwynn continued to cry, even after the witch left the room. She cried...and cried...and cried...and cried...and cried some more.

Until the Ice Queen came stomping in, screaming "Fine, I give up!", and grabbed a fresh diaper and some baby powder.


After a good few rounds of blasting firecrackers out of the sky, Finn and Marshall Lee found themselves at the shores of a nearby lake. Finn, the silly goon, was frolicking at the edge of the water, not a care in the world, his hat tossed to the side and his flowing, blonde hair waving in the moonlight.

Lee watched from afar, his powerful, vampiric eyes letting him see Finn perfectly despite the night and a small smile tugged the corner of his lips. His Finn was still his Finn; a goofy, silly gob who he was head over heels for.

"The water's great, Lee!" whooped Finn, kicking up some water. "C'mon and get down here!"

Lee wasn't too fond of water. It's not like he hated it, he just preferred other forms of water. Shower stalls and baths for one, and Finn would definitely attest to that. "I'll sit this out, thanks."

"Aw, lame!" shot back Finn, crossing his arms.

And then, he got an idea.

First, making sure he still had Lee's attention, he grabbed the sides of his shirt and crossed his arms, slowly peeling it off.

From his resting place, Marshall Lee's throat suddenly became very dry. Ever since Gwynn had come along, the moments where he and Finn could become...'intimate' were few and far between. But right now, it almost seemed like the setup for a cheesy romantic comedy. The way the moonlight hit Finn's pale, wiry body...the water dripping down his chest...his dripping wet hair clinging to his broad, toned back.

"Finn..." croaked Lee. "What're you doing?"

"Nothin', man." smirked the hero, while mentally cheering 'Gotcha'. Having fully removed his shirt, he tossed it away, and moved to the waistband of his shorts.

Lee's eyes widened as Finn's fingers began pulling down the shorts, only to dilate when they stopped halfway. "Huh." smirked Finn, tugging on them lightly. "The water must've jumbled them up. Lee, would you mind giving me a ha-"

Finn never even DREAMED Lee could fly that fast.


Several minutes later and Gwynn was nice and clean, in a new diaper and coated in a thin layer of lilac baby powder. Gwynn looked through the bars of her crib at the Ice Queen, who was currently handing the old diaper to one of her many penguin subjects.

"Take this far away and bury it." she ordered, holding her nose. "DEEP."

"Wenk." replied the penguin, and ran off as fast as its tiny feet could carry it.

Sighing in exhaustion, Ice Queen flopped onto her bed, kicking off her heels and grabbing the ice cream from earlier. Eager to lose herself in the world of low-fat, caffeinated creamy goodness, she dug in...

...only to shriek a second later as her hand became submerged in flames.

"WHAT THE ICE?" screamed the witch, focusing magic in her hand to reduce the burning.

From the crib, Gwynn was laughing gleefully, clapping her hands together. And each time she did, the flames in the ice cream carton burst a little, some embers falling to the floor and melting it a little.

"The flan do you think you're doing?" hollered the Ice Queen, scooping up the baby and rushing it out of her room. If she didn't think fast, her whole kingdom might go out in flames! Damn vampires and their fire...didn't they know they come from the Nightosphere, not the Fire Kingdom?

After a few minutes of laughing idiotically, Gwynn tuckered herself out and the flames disappeared. While her bedchamber was safe, the same couldn't be said for the Ice Queen's rumpus room, which now resembled a poorly maintained meat locker.

Ice Queen counted slowly to ten, contemplating all the disaster that would befall her if she struck the daughter of the Vampire King. She certainly didn't want to find out the many ways Marshall could skin her alive.

And she still had a deal to cash in with Finn.

The vampirette shivered lightly, cuddling into the still-miffed Ice Queen's lap. While she was still angry, she smiled softly and stroked the baby's two-toned hair, her long nails gently caressing Gwynn's scalp.

"Look at you." she cooed, gently flicking Gwynn's ear. "You'd think you were just a regular baby instead of some pyromaniacal little hellion bent on making my life difficult."

Gwynn sneezed and clutched onto the front of Ice Queen's dress and the witch couldn't help but blush at the sight.

Ice Queen never had kids on the sole belief that she thought she'd be a terrible mother. She wasn't exactly what you'd call a good role model, what with her evil alignment, twisted way of thinking and unnatural urge to abduct barely legal royal men. But hey, no one's perfect.

As Ice Queen continued to stroke Gwynn's hair, she recalled an old song. From where it came from, she didn't know, but it coursed through and calmed her with its familiarity and soothed her with its serenity.

"Hush...and shush...and don't make a peep. Hush...and shush...for now it's time to sleep. Sleep, sleep away, and dream a pleasant dream. Drift off to the land where joy reigns supreme. Rest and relax, and lay down your head, for now, it's time for you to go to bed."

Gwynn let out a small yawn and nodded off right in the Ice Queen's lap, snoring softly and becoming content against her lithe frame.

With all the grace, stealth and finesse of an ice kunoichi, Ice Queen slowly plucked Gwynn from her lap, walked into her room and gently set her down in her crib. She pulled the blankets up to the tiny vampire's frame to keep her warm and, uncharacteristically, leaned in and gave Gwynn a kiss on the forehead.

"Sleep tight, little vampire."


Lee, panting and sweating, rolled off an equally exhausted Finn, both of them as naked as the day they were born. Finn's face was still flaming red and his heart was pounding a mile a minute.

"That..." whispered the blonde. "Was flippin' awesome."

Lee floated up some and smirked down at Finn, tracing a single finger down the teen's chest. "That's what you get when you tease a sexually frustrated vampire."

"I'd say I learned my lesson, but I never learn anything." grinned Finn.

Darting his hand out, Lee pulled Finn into a deep kiss, dragging his forked tongue along the blonde's bottom lip. "Good." he said when he broke it, placing a hand on Finn's chest. "'Cuz I'm not done with you."


Ice Queen was seated at her synthesizer, awkwardly pressing keys in an attempt to create a new song. Sighing in exasperation, she slumped onto the instrument, a loud discordant note blasting from it.

"Dang it." she grumbled, running a finger over the emblem of her precious synthesizer; 'TDH' in Chiller font. "I can't come up with anything. Stupid Fionna, gunking my thoughts..."

Suddenly, Ice Queen felt a tug on the hem of her dress. Looking down, she saw Gwynn sitting there, blinking her big, red eyes up at the queen.

"What could you possibly want now?" huffed the ice witch, lifting her head up. "How'd you even get out of the crib?" In response, Gwynn patted her tummy.

"Oh, right, babies need to eat too, don't they..." muttered Ice Queen, scooping Gwynn up. "Lemme see if I've got any milk around here."

Ice Queen searched high and low, but couldn't find a drop of milk in the entire cave. She was starting to panic, and Gwynn was starting to get fussy. Which was not a good thing.

"Damn it..." hissed Ice Queen, reaching into her dress pocket. "What did that wannabe king say?"

Scanning the list, she quickly found the section that stated what to do if there wasn't milk available. 'In a pinch, give her something red.'

But Ice Queen only had one thing in red, and GLOB if she was gonna give it up to a vampirette. She needed those for princes. Or just nights when she wanted to feel sexy.

Really sweating now, Ice Queen looked around and spied a fruit bowl in her kitchen countertop. Gina was always bugging her to eat healthy and now she was thankful she only punted the penguin 80 meters feet instead of her usual 120.

Rushing over to it, Ice Queen plucked out an apple and held it to Gwynn. "C'mon, c'mon, eat." Gurgling, Gwynn took the apple and, hissing, bit hard into it. In seconds, she drained the red away, leaving the fruit a dull grey color.

Sighing in relief, Ice Queen sat down in her sofa, rubbing Gwynn's back. "Sheesh, no wonder Finn and his boy-toy needed a babysitter. You may be small, but you're a real handful."

Gwynn simply cocked her head and gurgled curiously.

Smiling, Ice Queen patted Gwynn's head. "Silly kid..."


Lee flew back to the Ice Kingdom, a drowsy Finn on his back and a sour look on his face. While he was ecstatic over being able to see Gwynn again, he wasn't happy about the deal he promised to the Ice Queen. Finn was DEFINITELY gonna couch exile him this time.

Landing outside the Queen's home, Lee knocked on the door, once, twice, three times. No answer. He knocked again, harder this time, only for the open door to creak slightly open.

"Guess she's allowed, being a psycho ice witch." muttered Lee.

Stepping in, he looked around the foyer until he spied a very...amusing sight.

"Finn." whispered Lee, nudging his wife. "Wake up, you gotta see this."

"Mmm...but I don't wanna lick the zebra..." muttered the hero.

Rolling his eyes, Lee shucked Finn off his back, the hero crashing to the floor, fully waking him in the process. "The stuff, dude!" hissed Finn, rubbing his rump.

Lee lightly bonked Finn on the head, put a shushing finger to his lips and pointed at something that would stay with the boys for many years to come.

Ice Queen was lying on her back on the sofa, her snow-white hair touching the floor and sleeping peacefully. And lying on her chest, curled up like a cat, was Gwynn, snoring softly as she, too, slept.

The picture was so sweet, so innocent, so adorable, it almost made the two boys forget how much of a nutcase the Ice Queen was.

Almost.

"Should we wait 'till they wake up?" whispered Finn. Lee thought about it. On the one hand, this was enough blackmail material to last a good few centuries or so. On the other...he still owed Ice Queen, and vampires are always true to their word.

Sighing, Lee floated over the the dozing pair and poked Ice Queen's cheek. "Wakey, wakey, little Miss Crazy."

Bluish-white eyes snapped open and, upon seeing the smirking Marshall Lee, immediately narrowed in annoyance. "Oh, it's you."

"Yeah, the father of the kid you've been watching for the last few hours. Who is now snuggled up on you like an adorable kitty."

Ice Queen blushed as Lee plucked the still sleeping Gwynn off of her and handed her to Finn. "So...thanks. Y'know, for not eating her or something."

Ice Queen waved her hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now, about that deal..."

Finn gulped as Ice Queen's eyes locked onto his, suddenly feeling even colder than he already was.

"It's off."

Both Finn and Lee blinked. "What?"

Ice Queen yawned and stretched, turning on her side. "Yeah, forget it. I mean, a half-hour alone with Finn? I don't even know what I was thinking. Like he'd know what to do with all this anyway. So I'll think of some other way for you stooges to pay me back."

Finn and Lee exchanged glances. "Um...thanks?" said the hero.

"Yeah, whatever. Now, scram, I gotta go fix the mess that little pyro made of my rumpus room."

Not wanting to press the issue further, the two bid the Ice Queen goodbye and left, zooming off into the distance. When Ice Queen was sure they'd gone, she placed a hand on the spot where Gwynn slept.

It was still warm.


And so begins what I hope is my greatest slice-of-life to date. Buckle your seatbelts, ready your Soft Cheese and adjust your rearview mirror, 'cuz it's only gonna get crazier from here on out~

Oh, and bonus points to whoever can figure out what the initals for Ice Queen's synthesizer stand for~ ;)