*From the last chapter, gwador indo is 'best friend' in Quenya. Also forgot my disclaimer. Don't own anything except an expired computer and a library card with huge fines. This shall cover the entire story as I will not disrupt it further with legal stuff.
An Account of Losses: Chapter 2 Escape
Escape! The word seemed to strike me with a confusion of thoughts, and fears. I wished for freedom, dreamed of it, as all, or most did, I was not that badly broken yet, but my years of hard labor had weakened me, and tempered me. I was no longer the rash young commander I had been. A mere ten years, as an hour to my people, had changed me, irrevocably.
"No…" I whispered. "No, Rannár, I want no part of such things," I insisted, fearful.
"Listen to me, Gwindor!" he said, grabbing hold of me roughly. "I have worked hard at this for…" he closed his eyes as if in sudden pain, then opened them to stare at me with hard grey eyes. "Ten years. Ten years, Gwindor. I cannot escape now," he looked down at his foot. It had been shattered in the Nirnaeth and mended badly, slowing him down considerably. "You have a family to return to, a love to return to, do you not?"
"Finduilas," the very name, even in the depths was lovely. "Yes," I whispered, feeling almost faint, thinking of her. Ten years could not dull that vision…
"Then you will escape," Rannár said firmly. "Continue further down the tunnel, it slopes upward until it reaches the top, somewhere in the Ard-Galen- or what was the Ard-Galen. I cannot vouch that it is out of sight, but you must try!"
I nodded, then a thought struck me. "But the guards-"
"Leave that to me, Gwindor," Rannár insisted.
"How can I repay you then, Rannár?" I asked, for now my heart was lightened and I began to entertain the idea that I might escape now, truly I might!
"Send word to my family, if you escape. Tell them…" Rannár stopped for a moment. "Tell them I love them, tell them to stay free and do not grieve."
I felt a sharp twinge of pain. So he had family too. It was not right that I should go, but I saw from his face that he would brook no argument. He had made his plan, he had worked on this, and he was determined that if he could not escape, someone should. I nodded. "I shall tell them."
"Eru, the Valar…may they all guard and guide you," Rannár said quietly, lifting his hand in a sort of blessing.
"And you," I replied, then slowly began to make my way down the tunnel. I had not gone far, just around a sharp turn, when I felt the rumor of the earth change swiftly, and in fear, I turned- in time to see rocks obscure the only certain exit. "Rannár," I whispered, for I guessed it to be his doing and I did not understand it. Then I realized, slightly belatedly, that it was not to make sure I did not consider going back, but a deception which would hopefully give me time to make my escape without being pursued. "Bless you, Rannár," I whispered and continued through the dark.
I walked for an indeterminable number of hours, the tunnel seemed to be getting smaller and smaller, and I was not sure if that was my fear or if Rannár had not been able to widen the tunnel as he went further. Regardless of which it was, I eventually had to rest, worn out. I did not cover my lantern as I usually did when I slept, I needed that light.
I do not know how long I slept, but it was a long time, many hours, at a guess almost a day, it was a nightmare that brought me back to the waking world, dark though it was.
I stood in darkness, complete darkness, between my guards. I could not see Him, but that did not diminish my fear in the least, it terrified me further. But at the same time, a strange sort of calm gripped me. I had not died with my men, but doubtless, I would die soon, and perhaps be with them…
"Tell me of Nargothrond."
His voice was terrible, and it seemed to fill all my thoughts. I felt Him try to read me, but did He think me a child that knew little or nothing of the mind? I had locked all my secrets tightly, and only I held the key, only I could unlock them for Him, and I would not.
"Come, tell me of your home. It must be very fair, Gwindor, Guilin's son."
Say nothing…I would say nothing at all. Better, I would laugh at him, but I could not, I feared too much.
"You alone chose this fate for yourself. It would be easier on you- and those dear to you, if you spoke now. For I will learn all I wish to know, Gwindor, and your information will complete what I learned from your brother."
"Gelmir!" I felt horrified, then tried to calm myself. No, no, Gelmir would never, ever tell Him anything. And it was now, that I would have to hold fast, like Gelmir had, like our well beloved Aran Finrod had. I was not as brave, nor was I as strong as either of them had been, but I would have to remember them and say nothing. "You lie!" I said, defiant.
"So, you will suffer, and then break. Noldor…so stubborn. But you will learn humility, and you will learn who is the master of all fates in Arda!"
"Eru is the master of all fates!" I shouted, incensed that he should dare proclaim himself master. "It is He," I continued, loudly. " In the end, He shall see everything put to rights- and you will be in the darkness of the Void with your master forever! You will never-" a guard hit me in the stomach and I doubled over in pain, but in a way, I was glad of it. I was glad that I had spoken, and glad that the guard had struck me, because that I could bear, and I felt if I could bear that one blow that had me doubled over breathless, I could bear any torment they wished to try upon me.
I woke suddenly, midway through the memory of the pain of my first interrogation. I was covered in sweat and felt shaken. At first, I was disoriented, then I remembered I was in the tunnel. I continued onwards. It was dark, always dark. The way I had come from was dark, and ahead of me, I could see no further than the light cast by my lantern.
I walked longer than I had previously, I guessed, but of course, could not be certain, and doubts began to assail me. What if Rannár had been mistaken? What if there was no way out of the tunnel? What if he had trapped me there to die? Frustrated, angry, alone and frightened, I collapsed on the floor of the tunnel and wept bitter tears until sleep took me.
"Where is the hidden entrance of Nargothrond located?"
The pain was familiar then, it still hurt, but I grew used to it. Most of the time, I endured it, occasionally, I found relief from it.
"What is the strength of those garrisoned there?"
I could think on Finduilas…her hair, her eyes…her laughter…it was hard, and I wept at times, fearing I would never see her again, but when I thought of her, I knew I would not break.
"Orodreth- is he a cautious ruler? Does he plan hidden assault or open battle?"
My other option required less effort, but was humiliating. After a time though, I didn't care. All I had to do was relax completely and let the blows fall, the whip sting…and eventually darkness would come, absolute darkness, painless darkness…
