Title: Culpability
Chapter 2 – Personal Effects
A/N: Thanks so much everyone for the great reviews for chapter 1 and giving this re-write a chance! I hope you'll also like this chapter just as much :)
"Words in italics and double quotes – directly from the eppy 4.01 Personal Effects." Other words in single quote and italics are flashbacks.
"Officer down…multiple shots fired…he's SRU."
"You're team accounted for?" Greg directly asks Donna.
"Yeah boss," she answers with instant trepidation, her heart racing before it comes to a complete halt with Greg's next two words.
"It's Ed."
Donna looks at Greg, her brain trying to register the two words that just seeped past her ears. Did he say Ed? It can't be Ed…multiple shots? No he didn't say Ed. Did he? Not Ed…oh god not Ed…please god no, not Ed, her mind spirals downward into mental oblivion. She remains frozen in place; her heart racing. Team One had gone home, her team was still there, ready to go in full gear. She looks at Greg and doesn't even have to ask what he wants her to do; however she can't just bring herself to actually offer her services right now. Greg looks at her, the small pleading voice in her head starting out soft and then ending with a resounding shout.
Donna…
Donna…
DONNA!
She blinks several times and tries to swallow. This isn't happening…Ed's fine and I'm hearing things…Greg did not just say that. However, reality quickly douses her with a bucket of cold water and she snaps back to attention. It was Ed and it was time for her to act. Her and Greg lock eyes for a few seconds and she knows without asking what she has to do.
Go get Ed's shooter, Greg's unspoken command resounds in her mind. Ed…my Ed? I…I can't look for the shooter I hafta get to the hospital, I hafta be with him…now. He…he needs me…he's going into surgery…alone. But she couldn't exactly pull out the I'm the worried girlfriend and hafta see if he's okay first, card. That card still hasn't been played and the time to pull it wasn't now. All she can do now is pray he is going to be completely okay and go find the SOB responsible and then go to the hospital.
"I'm on it. Team Three gear up!" Donna shouts before she turns and literally runs toward the weapons locker, her mind fervently praying over and over that Ed is okay. Please god…let him be okay.
"Donna…its Ed? Did I hear that right? Multiple shots fired?" Tom asks in a panic as they race toward the dark SRU SUV. "What happened?"
"I don't know but…but right now I need a favor."
"You wanna go see him and want me to cover?" Tom asks so that only she can hear, making her look over in surprise. "You two don't exactly hide the signals when you're together, you know what I'm sayin'?"
"Tom we are…okay fine whatever. As much as I want to go to him right now I know I can't."
"Okay so what do you need?"
"I need you to help me stay focused and on target right now. We need to find out who the shooter is and track them, we're shotgun to team one but…damn it Tom he hasta be okay," her voice dies out to a soft whisper.
"He'll make it," Tom assures her firmly. "So where are we heading?"
"Right. Lakeshore and…" her voice trails off as she tells her team three team leader the rest of the details as she feels her heart starting to go from a fast pace to a dull aching thud. Oh Ed…you better be okay.
XXXXXXXX
With his mind boiling, Ed wasn't even paying attention to the danger signs until it was literally too late. As soon as he had left the barn, he was on the phone with Roy's superior, arguing that he was running late and it was Toth's fault; Roy's superior of course not having any of his excuses saying he knew the time and an exception could have been made for him to leave and re-qualify later; the superior of course not appreciating the tense political minefield Ed just had to traverse. To make matters worse, another person on the road isn't playing by the rules and Ed can only curse and wave his hand in frustration as the luxury BMW crossover cuts him off and then zooms in front.
Greg told Toth…he told Toth I turned in my own brother…Donna…who told Donna about today? I was gonna tell her tonight…now…now she'll wonder why I kept something from her when she told me last night I could be open with her no matter what. Damn how the hell did this day unravel like this?
'Look we're both alone and sometimes the job can get…overwhelming. I'm just saying…if you ever wanna talk, I'm here okay? And I'm hoping you can return the favor. It stays with me okay?' And after that her hand lingered in his until his fingers curled around hers and offered it a reassuring squeeze and nod of confirmation in return. That was the ending to their date two nights ago.
"Look I'm on my way there now. The hearing can't be over…well call…look. Ah damn it! Sorry…Roy…yeah Roy I'm…look I'll be there in ten minutes…ten minutes, just stall them or get them to call Holleran or Toth. This is their fault anyways!"
Ed's lips offer another angry curse as the driver pulls in front of him and slams on his breaks just as the light turns red.
"Ah come on buddy…move!" Ed's lips bellow in heated anger. The driver gestures for him to go around, prompting Ed to slam it into reverse but apply the breaks just as fast; he being trapped between two drivers. "Ahh!" Ed curses as he angrily yanks off his ear piece and gets out; the next few moments happening in a few spilt seconds.
The somewhat emotionally distraught man in front of him exits the car and as soon as Ed tells him to "get back in his car and get moving," he puts his hands up and looks like he's about to comply. But just as Ed turns and sees an injured female in the backseat wearing a military uniform with pleading eyes, his police instincts take over. Roy…buddy you gotta forgive me on this one, his mind laments as he turns back to see the driver of the car pulling something from his front seat – a gun.
"Okay…okay let's just slow this down…" Ed slowly raises his hands to show that he's not wanting a direct confrontation – only to talk.
His tactics fail.
In the blink of an eye, Ed sees the muzzle flash before his lips utter an anguished cry as the bullet rips through the fabric of his black shirt, hungrily tearing through flesh and tissue toward the meaty part of his upper right forearm before embedding in the bone. Donna…his mind calls out as his body slams onto the ground, his mind racing as the sound of bullets being fired seems to be unending; his body jerking in response to each one; until silence was followed by ringing in his ears. The shooter's car screams away and Ed's body is left on the ground, pulsing with agony and his brain racing; wondering where his phone was.
"Can you hear me?" "What's your name?" "Someone call 9-11." "What kind of officer is he?" "SRU." "Help is coming." "Just lie still." "Can you hear me?" "Stay with me buddy." "Press down on the bleeding." "Stop the bleeding."
Ed's ears strain to decipher the various worried voices overhead but all he can do is crunch his face in pain and utter tormented gasps, his chest burning, ears pounding, heart about to give way and his brain wondering if he was gonna live.
"Donna…" Ed wheezes in a near whisper, as he hears the sirens approaching.
"Help's here. Just lie still," another voice utters before Ed fades into darkness. Hands…many hands pressing down on the wounds, applying helpful but hurtful pressure to the gunshot wounds; an oxygen mask fitted over his mouth and nose, helping him breathe a bit easier. A blanket to help with the shivering brought on by shock and a shot of something to help with the pain.
Donna…I'm sorry.
XXXXXXXX
"I'm on my way now to the base," Greg informs Donna as her and Tom head for the suspect's house.
"How is he?" Donna asks in concern, her fingers gripping the steering wheel a bit harder than normal, her mind starting to digest the conversation Greg had earlier with the doctor that was attending to Ed.
"Talk to me doc."
"He took seven bullets, most in the chest and abdomen…they hit his vest. He has major bruising and has lost a lot of blood."
Seven? Just to the chest alone? The vest only prevented a life threatening injury from bullet penetration, but it didn't protect the wearer from the harmful force of the blunt objects pummeling his tender chest and organs with brute force. Donna feels her eyes instantly water and stomach wanting to lurch as she imagines Ed's body absorbing the painful blows as the bullets were fired at him. Lost a lot of blood…internal bleeding from broken ribs? What else was damaged internally? Ed…no...this can't be happening.
"His arm?" Greg gestured to the bandages tattooed with crimson wrapped around his pale skin.
"Two bullets; this is the one I'm worried about, all the nerve damage. I've paged a surgeon. We've got to get him into an OR as soon as possible. Dr. Brown…don't worry…he's the best."
Nearly ten bullets in total, Donna's mind laments as she hangs up with Greg and looks over at Tom. "Nine bullets?" She asks weakly as her eyes slightly blur.
"Greg said Ed's going under the knife with the best surgeon right? He's gonna be fine, right now we need to focus."
"Tom…"
"Hey look at it this way…the sooner we get this bastard the sooner you can get to the hospital and play bedside nurse," Tom reminds her with a kind smile. "Right?"
"His arm…"
"What?"
"Tom, he's a sniper…if he loses the nerves in that…"
"He's got the best surgeon and you know Ed Lane has nine lives right?"
"All of them with the SRU?" Donna counters sharply.
"Hey I'm just trying to keep you on track."
"Right…focus," she utters as she takes a deep breath and slowly exhales.
"Focus on the guy we're gonna visit right now and lets this get done. Ed's gonna be okay…I promise."
"Copy that," she nearly whispers, giving him an affirmative nod before swallowing hard and then turning back to the road, determined to find their suspect and get to the hospital as soon as possible. Ed…I pray you'll be okay and I'll be there as soon as I can! Her mind can't worry about or contemplate the possible hurt feelings Ed will bombard her with upon seeing him after surgery, all she can focus on is being at his side and assuring him they were still on the right track.
"Okay guys heads up…we're here."
XXXXXXXX
Ed's mind drifts through several planes of tormented consciousness as he's forced further into his drug induced stupor; the skilled surgeon working to the most valuable asset a sniper has beside his sharp eye, his shooting arm. His mind conjures up distorted voices…Roy's…Donna's…Wordy's…Greg's…Dr. Toth's…his father's…all saying different things with warped expressions.
The surgery of course is a success and soon Ed's being wheeled into a recovery room in the surgical ward, Roy pacing the hallway until he sees Ed's transfer bed being rolled in his direction. He looks at his watch and then up at the doctor walking beside Ed's bed.
"I'm his brother. How is he?"
"He's come through surgery just fine."
"And his arm? He's a sniper and…"
"He'll hafta wait until the swelling comes down and then after physio to know for sure. There was damage in places but…" the doctor's voice trails off as Roy follows them into the room that Ed would be spending the next two days recovering in. "He's gonna be out of it for a few hours but you can stay for a little while if you want."
"I want to, thanks," Roy replies as he waits for Ed's tubing to be hooked up and then settles in beside his bed. He looks at Ed and frowns before a small smirk plays upon his lips. "You know I did believe you when you said you were running late. But for a moment I thought it was another excuse to let my ass just hang in the air," Roy sighs as he leans back in his chair and then looks up at the clock. "Lucky for both of us they've rescheduled the hearing so you just need to rest up okay," Roy states as he looks over at Ed's placid expression. "Just concentrate on getting better."
Ed's mind drifts in and out of a semi-conscious state as he picks up Roy's voice in the room, talking to him about something that happened in the past, but the drugs keep him from being pulled all the way back into the realm of reality.
"You know you're not bulletproof all over right?" Ed hears Roy's voice teasing him and inwardly groans as his mind replays the images and the monitors start beeping a bit more and Roy's tone instantly softens.
About an hour later, Ed's eyes slowly struggle to open for the first time in hours, his parched lips taking in a soft gasp of air and forcing Roy to lean forward and look at his brother in concern. Ed's brain forces his slightly watery eyes to try to focus, shifting from Roy to other areas in the room and then back at Roy.
"Just us. Wordy's outside now. They got him...the guy that shot you."
"Hearing."
"Yeah they're expecting you to take the stand in an hour," Roy frowns. "You're worried about that?"
"When?"
"Next week…whenever," Roy huffs as he rubs his face. "You look like hell. There I said it," Roy nods. "Don't worry about it, okay?"
Ed looks over at his brother and frowns before nodding.
"Okay I got a curfew," Roy smirks as Wordy shows up in the doorway. "I'll drop by tomorrow."
"Okay," Ed manages weakly as Roy's hand rests on his uninjured shoulder and gives it a squeeze. He watches Roy leave and then Wordy approach his bed.
"Hey buddy," Wordy smiles at Ed, garnering a small smile that looks more like a grimace in the end. "Long day huh."
Ed looks over at the clock and then back at Wordy and frowns.
"Yeah you've been out of it a long while," Wordy acknowledges the time. "I was home first, had dinner, put the girls to bed and now am here. So we're good."
"Roy said…you got the…"
"Okay just rest now and I'll do the talking," Wordy assures Ed as his heart monitor starts to beep a bit faster and louder.
"Sure," Ed tries to swallow, his head still pounding and core on fire.
"We got the shooter and the supplier so score one big time for team one and team three."
"Donna…"
"Yeah am sure she'll be here anytime now to play nurse to you," Wordy smirks, drawing a small surprised expression from his best friend. "What, you actually thought that only Tom picked up on the signals between you two."
"Wordy…" Ed starts to protest and Wordy just shakes his head.
"Okay so am not gonna ask what you're worried about or afraid of because I know you'll get yourself worked up for nothing. I mean you two were flirting with each other the moment you arrived today and hey…you know what I'm glad you're happy. I'm glad she makes you happy and I can tell you make her happy," Wordy replies softly as Ed feels his stomach tighten but from a happy thought not morbid fear of what his best friend might think. "You ask her out yet?"
Ed feels his face automatically warm and his best friend is quick to pick up on it.
"Really?"
"It was just two da…"
"Like I said…I'm happy and we'll leave it there for now."
"Toth."
"Can go to hell," Wordy replies with a slight grimace. "You're okay Ed…Greg said we're all on probation for a year…meaning we gotta be perfect but um…well we can right?"
"Perfect," Ed huffs as he feels his fists tighten.
"Hey we all passed and that's what counts the most. So thank the past year of you drilling our ass as working."
"Perfection is…" Ed's voice strains.
"Okay you know what…I didn't come here to tell you this to get you worked up. Greg said you took nine shots," Wordy's voice slightly dies out as Ed's monitors slow back to normal. "He also said you left your gun."
"Sorry."
"Yeah you should be," Wordy retorts with a smirk and Ed's face slightly softens. "Okay I can see you struggling to keep awake so am gonna say goodnight and just let you get some rest okay? I'll be back tomorrow and maybe bring something homemade to help you get better."
"Wordy…thanks," Ed mumbles softly as Wordy leans in closer to give him a reassuring squeeze on his uninjured arm.
"Just rest up now. I'll see you tomorrow."
Ed watches his best friend leave, a few moments later feeling the suffocating silence starting to fill the rest of the room and suddenly he was wishing that Wordy had stayed…even Roy would be better than miserable silence. 'Donna's probably on her way here…'
But as Ed looks at the clock he tells himself it was late, it was a long day and she might still be feeling the emotional sting from him not telling her what he had carefully concealed all week, even on the night of their second official date. She's not coming, his mind sadly laments as he closes his watering eyes and tells himself the sooner he heals the sooner he'll be leaving – alone.
XXXXXXXX
The job was over, team one apprehending Ed's shooter and her team able to help Guns and Gangs arrest one of their most wanted. But as much as she had wanted to rush some of the process, she knew she had to put aside her own personal feelings in this case, paste on a fake smile and get the job done as she had been impartially trained to do. Team one was hurting at the lost of its team leader and she had to put on her game face as they had. However, she knows that none of them are feeling what she is.
After the case had finally come to a close, she had texted Wordy who told her that Roy was with his brother and he was on his way.
'You can come too if you want.'
'I'll be by later,' she had told him in truth.
Donna looks at the clock on the dash of her car and sighs, it was late but thankfully visiting hours weren't over just yet. Do I bring anything as a peace offering? He can't eat right now can he? Flowers? That's lame. Her mind ponders as she pulls into the parking lot of the hospital and then slowly heads toward the elevator and up to his room. She watches the night nurse come out and heads toward her.
"How's Ed Lane?"
"His vitals are stable and his system is accepting fluids. He's gonna fine."
"I heard he had internal bleeding?"
"Some from the broken ribs. Once the swelling had gone down and the surgery was over the damage inside wasn't as bad as we thought. He'll be very sore for a few weeks, especially as his ribs heal and he'll hafta take it easy but with rest and care he should be fine."
"And his arm? His um…shooting arm? Was there bad nerve damage?"
"Some but it should heal just fine," the nurse assures Donna. "Are you his…"
"Yes. How long can I stay?" Donna asks in sincerity.
"As long as you want," the nurse replies with a kind smile. "But it's best if he rests right now as much as he can; he's been through a lot."
"Okay thanks."
Donna watches the nurse leave and then turns and peers into Ed's hospital room with a pensive stare, almost hesitating to enter. Betrayal…that is the one word eating away at her right now. If she had told him right from the start…but Greg didn't either…oh damn it stop trying to shift the blame! Her mind scolds. Just go in and see him. She slowly approaches the bed and frowns at his pale expression, and feels her own heart rate start to soar at seeing the monitors, bandages and tubing hooked up to his still frame.
"Oh Ed…" Donna laments softly, her throat seizing and her fists tightening. She quickly brushes away a tear and then looks away to recompose herself; turning back to see Ed watching her in silence. It was her voice that as soon as his brain had registered it, forced him to quickly snap awake and gaze upon her, his heart rate settling into a comforted rhythm.
"Hey," she whispers as she leans in closer, her lips nearing his ear; his lips trying desperately to twist upward into a warm smile. "Ed…" she pauses, her warm flushed face pressed up against his cool skin. "I thought I lost you today," she gently whimpers as her eyes water. "I thought I lost you…" she repeats softly. The next few beats of his heart start to beat a bit more painfully in his chest as his own eyes water. The hand closest to hers slowly moves and rests on her soft skin; basking in the instant warmth his own flesh was absorbing from her touch.
"Sorry," he offers in a near whisper, drawing her eyes instantly to his.
"No…no don't be sorry," she insists as she wipes away another tear that was about to escape and fall onto his face. "I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner."
"Missed…you," he admits in truth and her smile widens.
"Me too," she agrees as her left hand comes to rest on his cheek. "You…you scared me today. I was in the barn…I heard the call…officer down…multiple shots fired…and then Greg said it was you."
"Donna…"
"It's okay…it's over now but um…I mean seeing you storm out of that room…I didn't even pay attention that you didn't have your gun…Ed…it was too close. I nearly lost you," she rambles and then stops and looks at him; her mind racing with so many thoughts, confessions and excuses to offer. But it wasn't the time; he needs his rest and she just needs to be there at his side for as long as needed.
"What?" Ed asks softly.
"Just this," she utters as she plants a warm kiss on his cool lips, pausing as his fingers instantly grip hers a bit tighter, her lips still inches apart. "There is so much I want to say to you right now," she admits as she slowly pulls back. "But I know it can wait."
"Sorry."
"No Ed…"
"Shoulda told you…about…" he manages, his heart rate monitor starting to pick up the pace and she instantly shakes her head.
"No…it's okay," she insists. "You just need to rest now okay? Please just tell me you'll rest. We can talk tomorrow."
Ed looks at her and frowns, knowing that his body was struggling to stay awake, his mind urging his eyes to close and listen to her advice to rest. But his heart doesn't want him to face this night alone and starts to wage an inner war with his mind to keep his eyes open, keeping her at his side for as long as possible.
"Don't go," he finally begs in a weak tone.
Donna looks at the anguished expression on his handsome face and knows she'd be betraying her own self by getting up and walking out on him right now; leaving him like this. How could she?
"I'm not going anywhere, I promise," she assures him as she hand snuggles further into his and grips it firmly. "We can talk tomorrow. Okay?"
"Okay," Ed agrees with a tired smile as he watches her pull away and then head out of the room. A frown instantly crosses his face as her absence lingers. Did she say she was staying or leaving? Damn what'd she say? His drug-muddled brain ponders. But a few moments later he watches her return and can only look at her in expectation.
"Well you didn't expect me to spend the night in that chair did you? And that bed's too small for both of us," she lightly retorts and his lips finally crack a small smile she can actually see. "But you're not resting," she whispers once more as he lips plant a warm kiss on his forehead. "Just rest now…that's an order."
"Pulling…rank?"
"You betcha," she grins as the porter brings in the sleeping bed and leaves it for Donna to arrange next to Ed's bed. "Like I said before," she states as she slowly climbs onto the bed and once again takes his hand in hers. "I'm not going anywhere; I'm staying okay?"
"For how…long?"
"Forever," she admits and he looks over in surprise at the tender expression of truth gracing her face. "I'll be here when you wake up."
Ed's mind settles in the knowledge that after such an emotionally and physically exhausting day he wouldn't have to face the night alone in a solitary hospital room but the one person he actually wants at his side will be at his side for the night. That comforting thought whisks him into the dark realm of sleep; where comfort wasn't to be the order – only twisted nightmares await. But at least he wouldn't be facing them alone.
To be concluded…
A/N: Okay so yes I had originally intended this to be a two shot but alas Alice had other ideas and didn't want to rush too much of the confessions or emotional stuff so chapter 3 is coming and hope that's okay! please let us know what you thought of the aftermath of this by way of review and thanks so much!
