"All the Dead on All the Ships" and not the "fantabulous" sh*t mentioned earlier.It's going to be a series of absolutely ridiculous oneshots that make no sense whatsoever. Read at your own risk!
Uhhh...anyways I haven't been updating as frequently as I used to, because...
Select Your Lame-Ass Lazy Excuse
A. I was on vacay in Spain, even though it isn't even the school holidays yet
B. I was on tour with *insert name of singer*
C. I had writers block
D. I was attacked by a pepperoni pizza
...sorry.
Anyways, I broke up.
With my sanity.
Again.
Hence this.
Sorry.
EXTREME RETARDATION AHEAD!
QWERTY
Their daughter was born in the middle of winter.
Feathery white snowflakes spiralled down from the sky, nestling in Hicccup's hair as he gazed upon his newborn baby, pride in his heart and agony in his anus.
It literally felt like it was on fire.
He had never felt such pain before in his entire life for the Gods sake why had he even agreed to this in the first placeBut looking at his baby, he felt that it was worth it.
Almost.
Kinda.
Sorta.
Not really.
Brrrr
Three months later Jack Frosting stood before the graves of his sort-of-husband and his infant daughter.
It was only after she was born that they realised that both of them lacked the necessary lady bits required for the production of milk.
Milk. You know, the white stuff babies need in order to live?
And since formula hadn't been invented yet, they'd tried yak milk, to no avail. Turned out that the baby was lactose intolerant. She threw up and broke into hives as soon as she tasted it. They would have rushed her to the hospital, except hospitals hadn't been invented yet.
No hospitals.
Only Gothi.
So whilst waiting for hospitals to be invented and having Gothi let out her blood, the baby died.
So that sucked.
And then, as if that wasn't tragedic enough, Hiccup got a bacterial infection in his ruptured b-hole.
Once again, in between waiting for the invention of hospitals and having leeches suck the life out of him, Hicccup died.
And so Jack was all there was left.
Life sucks.
Huh
Jack sighed as he looked at the graves.
Already his friends were telling him to let it go, meet new people, come to terms with his grief, f* himself, etc, etc.
But still...
Eh, stuff like that happens like, all the time. He was totally fine with it. Jack grinned and turned to his friends who were standing some distance behind him.
"Snowball fight, anyone?"
POIUY
Hey, me again, sorry you had to see that. It was awful, I know, I don't even know what I was thinking when I was writing this.
I had fun though, writing this. Giggled like a madman.
Err...but anyways, don't get me wrong, but I don't have a problem with people being gay, and I actually am OK with yaoi.
It's the ship that I hate.
I. Absolutely. Fuggin. Hate. It.
Mainly because I hate seeing Hiccup being shipped with every other random person who happens to be hot.
I hate male pregnancy stories as well, 'cause being pregnant is a lady thing, and those guys just went and stole it without even giving us credit like what the heck dudes!? Not cool, OK? not cool!
And I didn't mean what I said about Gothi! She's an amazing person! I'm sorry Gothi please don't whack me with your staff!
