Here's part 2. I was kind of in a rush to write it because there's a huge storm coming into town and it's possible my net will be shot off for a while. It's a bit shorter than the first and I truly intended for it to be much longer. Anyway, here it is. :)
Disclaimer: I do notown Ranma 1/2 or any of the characters portrayed in this article.
Part 2: Started April 20, 2008
I Either Do or I don't!?
Quick Recap: Akane and her family have gone a vacation leaving Ranma to watch over the house accompanied by Ryouga who decided to stay in case Ranma tried anything while Akane was gone. Alisa, a childhood friend of Ranma's has returned to town with a trick up her sleeve. Ranma has ingested poison food that was given to him by Alisa, who plans to enslave him as her own. Ryouga learns of this and is left to help cure Ranma which oddly enough involves the two males to become rather intimate with each other.
Ranma stared at the blank television screen for what seemed like forever. The hours went by like brief moments as the events of what happened earlier that same day raced through his mind. He felt a sharp pain in his head and an odd fluttering feeling as evening neared. It was as if someone was trying to hack their way out from within him and another person was chomping at his brain. 'Argh, what's wrong with me.. I feel so light headed' He thought, laying down on the couch. 'It must have something to do with Alisa's stupid curse or whatever.' He grabbed his head and growled in agony, sitting up.
Frustrated he stood up and shook his head, determined to get rid of the sinking feeling he was getting suddenly. But as quickly as he stood his knees buckled and he fell back down on the couch. It was almost futile to even try to get up so he gave up rather quickly and decided to to ride it out, a bit disappointed at himself. As he laid for a few moments he began to have a fleeting feeling like he was losing himself. He began to spiral away from reality and everything around began to decay into nothing. His own soul threatened to pull right out his body and he could nothing about it. Weakened and confused his eyes slowly closed on him and he ceased all movement.
Ryouga's eyes shot open when the horizon blared at him. He noticed the sun setting and stood up, stretching out. "How long have I been here?" He asked himself, rubbing his eyes. He turned in the direction Ranma had gone and started down the side walk, stepping slowly. He wasn't in any particular rush to return to the Tendo's residence but a relenting gnawing feeling prodded at his back, as if ushering him into a sprint. Without thought he started to jog then full out run as the sun slowly crept down beneath the horizon. Everything was moving too fast for his brain to register what was going but an omnipresence hovered around him, whispering for his return to the very place he'd rather not be.
He had no control over his body and it frustrated him. His face suddenly felt wet as his eyes leaked with confused tears. He didn't want to see Ranma again. He didn't want to go back there and have to see that boy's face anymore. He didn't want to be apart of this atrocity anymore. Most of all, he didn't want to have to press his lips against his only rival. A low, dissatisfied growl grew from within his throat and he forced himself to a sudden halt. Breathing heavily, he hadn't even noticed where he had stopped, he just knew he was where he didn't want to be. Instincts brought him to this very moment. His eyes traveled up the pathway to the entrance of his beloved Akane's home and his icy glare bore holes into the door.
He felt a heavy weight of regret and guilt drop down on him and he slowly assessed the situation, pacing his thoughts before he just completely blew up into an emotionally wreck. Inside the home he knew there was a weakening Ranma, writhing on the ground and becoming something he never thought in a million years was possible. His steps were slow and steady as he neared the door. A hesitant tremble traveled through his body as a shaky hand gripped the door tightly and pulled it open. It was dark and the silence wad deafening. 'I shouldn't be here.' He thought to himself, feeling suddenly cold and empty. Shame was out of the question, and it was already too late to dismiss his actions before.
His words were final. What he had done was final. The scar was permanent. He held his breath as he entered and shut the door behind him, leaning against it. His legs were shaking and threatening to give out of him at any moment. His heart pounded in his chest and his attempts to calm himself only made him more anxious. His eyes pierced through the darkness of the room ahead of him. He inhaled a sharp breath and froze when an outline of a shadowy figure came into view a few feet away. The ghostly figure stood as still as a statue in the middle of the living room and it unnerved Ryouga how ambiguously characteristic it was being.
"Ranma, I hate you." He muttered darkly under his breath, then stepped toward him. His vision soon adjusted to the lack of lighting around them and he could see Ranma now, staring blankly at the ground. Ranma's possessed gaze soon met Ryouga's and a smile appeared without hesitation. "Ryouga." He said with a soft tone. Ryouga rolled his eyes and shifted his position as he chose his next plan of action carefully. But what he wasn't expecting was the next thing that came out of Ranma's mouth. "I was worried you wouldn't find your way back home." He felt the weight of a hand land on his shoulder and the warmth startled him. "What?" He quickly looked up at Ranma and raised an eyebrow.
Ranma moved away from him and stepped up the stairway slowly until vanishing around the corner. Dazed, Ryouga felt himself land onto the couch and a sudden ache in his chest. He wasn't sure what just happened, and every attempt to solve the mystery made his head hurt. He groaned uncomfortably and suddenly felt alone and weary. He felt cold despite the sweat beading on his forehead and his palms were clammy. All the time he had hurried to get here he was expecting something completely different, but was greeted by a worried tone and a fading scent of something he hadn't had in so long; compassion.
He rubbed his his head, infuriated by his confusion. He was convinced he deserved to understand what was going on, but no matter what he did, every encounter he had with Ranma just left him with even more doubt and utter ignorance about himself and the other involved. He was told by Alisa how reverse the spell and he understood it quite well but it was that cursed pig-tail boy that made it harder for him to see clear. He was angry with Ranma now, starting to pit all his aggression on him. Blaming him was so much easier then trying to figure it all out and was content on that. But it weighed heavy on his heart.
He clenched the material around him tightly and his eyes stared endlessly into the shadows of the already dark room. A familiar feeling crawled onto his lap and stared up at him with those empty and cold soulless eyes. He clutched the feeling with an unforgiving embrace and felt himself sobbing heavily into it as he slumped forward. He buried his face in his hands as if trying to hide from the world but it was blaring loudly at him with all it's might and reminded him every time he took a pause to breath from his uncontrollably sobbing that the insufferable silence was always there, that he was still and will always be alone.
As if taking a stand, he took control of his heaving breath and edged his sadness aside, promising he'd return to it. He choked for a moment then closed his eyes tightly. As he listened to the quiet hum around him, his mind was finally quiet enough to allow a few logical thoughts to be processed. 'Did I confuse his compassion with his lustful poisoned self?' He knew it sounded right but he felt wrong even thinking of that word. He envied every smile Akane gave Ranma and cherished every smile she gave him. But he didn't a care in the world for Ranma's empty smiles. He knew they never held any emotion except for a reassurance that Ranma still existed and still stood in his way.
But that smile that Ranma had given him was the most unusual one Ryouga had ever received in his life. It reminded him of Akane and how sincere her lips were curved upward to create this remarkable smile that made the rest of the world seem like such a wonderful nirvana as long as she was there. At that moment he wanted more than anything to embrace her. Thoughts and images of her flashed through his mind and all he desired at that moment was comfort, and reassurance. "I can't play this silly game anymore Ranma!! I have to.. I have to get out of here. I don't belong here." He hollered, standing up abruptly. His dark gaze followed each step up the stairs and finally stopped at the top. He peered into the darkness, knowing a pig-tailed boy was somewhere up there. Alone.
He headed for the door and cursed every step he took. He didn't understand his sudden rash desicion but he stopped instead of reaching for the door knob. His plan was falling to pieces and there wasn't much he could do now. He was falling deeper into a hole he never meant to even peek in. He was part of something that was beyond his grasp and control. He was a pawn to a game that threatened everything he cared for. Ranma. 'NO.. Akane!' He pounded his fist on the wall, growling angerily at himself. He dared himself to even utter that despicable name again, and threatened his reflection when he caught himself in a nearby mirror. The pale-faced boy stared back at him with a dangerous glint in his eyes. His heart was beginning to race again and fear gripped him suddenly, hugging his body uncomfortably.
He didn't want to face what was ahead of him but as corny as sounded to him, he told himself to be brave. Bravery was something he just as soon confuse with foolishness. He acted on emotion rather than think his actions through and access the situation with a clear and logical solution. If it angered him and annoyed, fighting and destroying it was the clearest answer to him. If it soothed him and made him smile, simply taking it was the goal. Akane was the prize at the end of the line, but no matter how hard he tried, an obstacle always stood in his way, mocking him near the end of it. Ranma was the only person that could make Akane smile the way she did.
As sincere as it was towards Ryouga, her eyes sparkled when Ranma was the trigger for her smile. Jealously was an understatement but he didn't want to admit he even thought of Ranma as a possible rival for Akane's heart. Unfortunately she made it painfully clear when the boy was around, with his boyish charm and unrelenting teasing that somehow made her like the boy even more instead of hating his guts, like Ryouga did. Ryouga despised every remark Ranma spewed out at her and wanted so badly to shove those words back down his throat and let him choke on them.
Having the reality of what was all happening sink in in just a short few short moments overwhelmed the lost boy and all he wanted to do was escape from it all. But it wasn't as easy as it sounded. As frustrated and vengeful as he may have felt, there was still the guilt of leaving behind someone that was deeply cared for by another person he cherished. In the end he wasn't going to win. His rival was a lustful mess and his crush was in love with that wreck. He was going to have to help then he could disappear for good.
"Do you really hate me that much?" A soft voice suddenly broke the silence, startling Ryouga. He slowly turned his head and looked back, regarding Ranma's shaky eyes that refused to look at his own. "Stop being such a cry baby about it Ranma. That stuff is just making you act all weird." Ryouga suggested, honestly believing his own words. Ranma took a moment to process Ryouga's word and his expression contorted in thought. He contemplated the reason, juggling the possibilities around in his head. 'But I'm perfectly fine right now... I feel normal anyway.' He raised an eyebrow and finally moved his gaze to match Ryouga's. He was taken aback by how empty the lost boy's stare was, and how lost and dazed they appeared.
He quickly shuffled away and folded his arms, staring up at the ceiling. "I was just curious anyway. I don't care!" He stated, feigning a smile in Ryouga's direction. What hurt him most was the realization that he might actually be lying. In a way he did sincerely care. But he wasn't ready to just throw it all down on the table and lay all his emotions out to be seem. He had a suspicious feeling that perhaps Ryouga was doing the same. Holding back seemed bright as day to him but he was reluctant to assume anything about the other.He felt tense and nervous, and for the first time in his life it was a boy that was making him this way.
Akane always had a way to make him feel better about himself and the situations around him appear not so daunting. She was pleasant to be around, most of the time, and when she was closer than usual he always felt a fluttering feeling in his stomach. He knew he had a weird way of expression himself to her, but deep down he knew in a way she understood him. Subconsciously it was as if they were already a couple. They understood each other's words and actions on a far different level than anyone else could possibly comprehend. He knew Ryouga didn't see it in Ranma, but he wasn't concerned about that. All that mattered to him was that Akane knew. She would smile secretly to herself and even if she thought he didn't see it, he would catch it.
But in walked this boy and this wretched curse, and somehow it caused him to be intimate with another male. He didn't understand it himself why or how it ended up that way, but all he knew was if Ryouga wasn't there, it wouldn't have happened that way. He had plenty of time alone to curse the lost boy and pit his anger against him. He knew far to well the familiar cold hand of spite. It bothered him though how he could see his own hurt and confusion reflected from Ryouga's lonely gaze. He knew the boy must be suffering some kind of mental withdrawal, but how much pain he must feeling was beyond him. He didn't feel like he should delve into it anyway. It was none of his business and the less encounters he had with Ryouga, the better. The less he knew, the better.
He took notice that Ryouga was still just standing there with his head now down. He was quiet and unmoving. "I...I didn't mean to say that Ranma." His calm voice reached Ranma's ears, sending a shiver down his back. "Say what? What are you talking about?" Ranma retorted, breathing out abruptly. Ryouga didn't respond for a moment and again just as a silent before. He was trying to determine whether he should truly admit what he felt at the moment, or blow it off and forget about it. Except forgetting about it was out of the picture. He knew whatever little thing he said or did was going to eventually come back to him one way or another.
"I don't... " He paused, biting his lip. Ranma widened his eyes impatiently, placing his hands on his hips. "Ya don't what? Spit it out already Ryouga!" He demanded, feeling extremely annoyed at the moment. He didn't understand his anger at the moment but didn't care. He was enjoying the enraged feeling and reveled in it. Ryouga tensed up and placed his hand on the door. "I don't hate you Ranma..." He finally said, through gritted teeth. His voice was so quiet though Ranma could hardly hear him, which made him listen even closer. Ryouga's tone sounded honest and it hurt him even more than the words he was saying.
He felt a calm slowly sooth away the anger building inside his chest but it only released a small bit of tension pitting up within him. He looked at the ground and rubbed the back of his head out of nervous habit. He didn't know what to say to that. He couldn't find any words that would justify as a reply to what Ryouga had just said to him and it frustrated him. He looked up at the other male and sighed lightly. He figured Ryouga would have left by but he was still just standing there, as if waiting for something to happen. "You already know whats going to happen Ryouga." Ranma said, speaking directly from his thoughts.
Ryouga's shoulders jumped and he tensed up even more, his head bowing down as far as it could. He wanted to bury himself 10 feet below the ground with concrete poured over him at that very second. He felt challenged by Ranma and he was just appearing more weak and vulnerable by the second. "And you know what I'm going to have to do." He shot back, turning around to meet Ranma's glare. Ranma stepped back, a bit startled by Ryouga's abruptness. "Ryouga, we can't keep going on like this." He said, his tone much softer than before. Ryouga's shoulders finally slumped and nodded slightly.
It felt as if the two were mind reading each other, and as they sat together onto the couch, each of them gazed up at the ceiling passing thoughts between them. They could sense the other's tension and aggression about the whole matter but both were ignorant to the others true feelings and intentions, and even to themselves were they unaware of such things. The only thing that seemed to matter at this point was getting it over quickly and painlessly. It was going to happen soon and Alisa would be here shortly to claim her half-won prize, according to her.
Ryouga glanced to Ranma who, a few seconds later, returned the look. Nodding, and without a word, they both knew what was going to happen next. They shifted their sitting positions and watched each other. Almost just like they had decided they were going to go through with their plan and stick with it until the end. Agreeing to cooperate meant less trouble at the end of the line, and they go their separate ways, but it also meant sacrificing their mental well-being. Little did they know of the others anguish and it only crossed their minds a few times during which the whole thing had started.
Ryouga watched calmly as Ranma shifted from a normal sitting position to a more slumped and weary position onto his lap. As Ranma regained consciousness he arose and regarded Ryouga with a sappy gaze. "Ryouga..I..." But he wasn't able to finish his sentence. Ryouga leaned forward and pressed his lips against the boy's, catching him off guard. Ranma's eyes shot open in surprise but he didn't move. After a few seconds a smile crept on his lips and Ryouga must have felt it because he quickly pulled away, blinking oddly at him. "Ryouga.. I just wanted to say that I'm glad you don't hate me..."
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A/N: Well there ya have it. That's part 2. Hope you guys aren't too disappointed with the outcome. I want it to sound different from all the other stories out there but seeing how I'm not the best writer in the world, it's a little hard to do. Thanks for taking your time to read and get down here to my notes. :) I already have a few reviews and I appreciate your feedback . I'll be working on part 3 when my power is out, so I'll need to find a bunch of paper and a good pen :D!
