"Now, now, put the books away, class, I have a very exciting new project for you all," Gilderoy Lockhart, as usual, was strutting about the classroom like an overly flamboyant peacock grinning at his entirely unenthused audience.
It was only the middle of October of Lily's second year and somehow she was already dying.
True, she didn't have to put up with Slytherin bullshit, and she supposed Default was alright enough. Certainly, she could handle moody Hermione, quirky cult member Luna Lovegood, Rabbit being… Rabbit, as well as the two latest Slytherin expatriates Zabini and Greengrass, but that didn't mean Hogwarts itself was doing anything to appeal to her either.
Either she was spending the day watching Wizard Lenin, somehow roped into being quidditch captain, or else time travelling backwards to sit through class, eyes drooping, and wondering if she could get any more bored than she already was.
Especially in Lockhart's class. If she had to hear another word about the majesty of Gilderoy Lockhart she didn't think she could be held responsible for her actions.
Glancing over, Lily looked at a good half of the female portion of the class from Pansy Parkinson, to Lavender Brown, to basically everyone who wasn't in Default were all but passed out and twitching on their desks with ink spilled all over the private little journals they'd received from whoever. Pansy hadn't stopped bragging since the start of October that glitter decorated magical diary was from Drakey-poo no matter Drakey-poos vehement protests. She'd also made sure to rub it in Hermione and Lily's collective faces that they had not received special diaries, and especially not one from her beloved Drakey-poo. Lily, it seemed, was even less of a fan of Pansy Parkinson than she'd been a year ago.
Hermione, for her own part, still drenched in the bitter pro-proletarian aftermath of last Christmas, was stubbornly reading through a far more legitimate book on countering the dark arts as if she was just daring Lockhart to stop her. Naturally, Lockhart did nothing of the kind, having decided back in September to let Hermione continue to Hermione in relative peace. Probably the safest course of action, all things considered.
Greengrass and Zabini were engaged in some sort of staring contest with a rather moody Draco Malfoy, who still didn't appreciate their jumping of ships from the legitimate Slytherin to that ragtag life boat Default, which left about maybe one or two students even looking in Lockhart's direction.
And one of those was Lily.
Most importantly though, the love of Gilderoy Lockhart, that had been very present in the first few weeks of class from the female half of the room and a spattering of the male half, seemed to have fizzled out completely into a rather depressing apathy and resignation that one could only usually find in History of Magic.
Jesus, Lily thought to herself as she glanced over towards the others once again, they were starting to make her look downright enthusiastic.
"Everyone, instead of boring homework, just before the end of term we will be putting on a musical!" Lockhart declared, spreading out flying flyers which then settled on each of their desks proclaiming a rather dramatic promotion for "Lockhart: The Musical to Unlock Your Heart" a musical that was apparently written, directed, and produced by one Gilderoy Lockhart.
"A musical?" Hermione asked, lowering her book ever so slightly so that she could glare more fully at Lockhart. However, Lockhart seemed entirely immune to Hermione's rather impressive withering glare and instead continued to expound with enthusiasm.
"Not just any musical, a musical that, with refinement, will open up in London's magical theater district this summer. Now, I thought, what better way to give a trial run than to do so in Hogwarts starring my wonderful students?"
"Is everyone going to be in this?" Daphne asked, looking down at the flyer as if she was torn between distaste and sheer bafflement.
"Yes, you see, I say a musical, but in fact each Hogwarts year will be starring in a different musical of the series of wild adventures from my life. There was far too much material to fit into one performance, you see," Lockhart explained as he, with a swish of his wand, projected onto the board an image of one of their required textbooks, which, if Lily remembered right, was the one where he had battled off an army of evil magic penguins in the North Pole and saved not only a magical Swedish princess but also Santa Claus and all of his elves.
Or maybe he just slayed some snow beast, Lily honestly could not remember.
Now, along with the flyers, a series of scripts appeared on each of their desks for "Lockhart: The Musical Vol. 2", undoubtedly Luna Lovegood and Rabbit Lepurson being subjected to whatever happened to be in volume one.
Lily flipped through, and immediately blanched. One thing that was obvious, the only good part was Gilderoy Lockhart, and that was only because he was about the only one to do or say anything remotely interesting. He dashed, he pranced, he was altogether charming, and that there were any other people in this play was to remind the audience how wonderful Gilderoy Lockhart was in case you had somehow managed to forget in the past five seconds.
More, there weren't nearly enough parts for everyone in second year, only about eight speaking parts (and that was with three different love interests all slammed into the same musical) which meant everyone else would probably be consigned to the pit orchestra or else set design and backstage help.
Still, it was better than Defense normally was. More, there was something almost… intriguing about it. Lily had never really starred in a theatrical production, well other than the secret theatrical production that was the life and times of Eleanor Lily Potter, but now that the possibility was dangled in front of her she found herself strangely excited about the prospect.
It might be kind of nice, she thought, to play someone else's hero for once. To be the charismatic, mysterious, and dashing Gilderoy Lockhart saving maidens from towers and monsters with witty one-liners to spare.
In fact, flipping through, finding his love ballads where he bemoaned his lack of attachment and connection to the human race even through sexual encounters as well as his great cry of despair over how it was so hard to be so wonderful and be the hero everyone expected and needed, Lily found she had a strange connection to Gilderoy Lockhart's fictional counterpart.
He was, in his own way, not so different from Eleanor Lily Potter, which was a role that Lily had been consigned to for so long but not once been recognized for.
Gilderoy Lockhart, for the same acts, for the same unending duty and tilting at windmills, could receive a standing ovation and roses thrown at his feet. Just once, she thought with some wonder, it might be nice to have the curtains come down on her show. Even if it really was just a play within a play.
"I'll do it!" Lily cried out, jumping onto her desk in triumph, "I will be Gilderoy Lockhart!"
Lockhart stared at her, blinking, and seemed at something of a loss at what to say. Finally, with a grimacing sort of half smile, he said, "I appreciate your enthusiasm, Ellie, but I'm afraid that the wonderful role of Gilderoy can only go to a male student."
"A male student like…" Lockhart's eyes roamed the room, searching for the golden prince that Hogwarts' current second year students were lacking, and finally in desperation settled on Draco Malfoy, unofficial prince of Slytherin, "Draco, yes, Draco will be an excellent Gilderoy Lockhart."
"What?!" Draco exclaimed as Lily fell off the desk in shock and despair, wondering how Draco, Draco bloody Malfoy of all people could possibly beat her out to that kind of role without even trying.
Clearly, if there ever was a Gilderoy Lockhart, then it had to be Eleanor Lily Potter. She was everything Gilderoy Lockhart embodied and then some. Lily had been preparing for the role of Lockhart her entire life!
Sitting up, picking herself off the floor, she was about to remind him of that but it appeared to be entirely too late as he was arbitrarily assigning roles to each of them, with Lily cast pitifully as the despairing third love interest, Aino, a poor girl from Finland with reindeer friends who Lockhart had cast aside in order to ride off into the sunset after having rid her village of the great abominable snowman that none before him had ever defeated and sings about how surely she will never love again now that the golden man has passed out of her life.
Which, of course, was better than Hermione's role as comedic relief reindeer number two.
Class soon ended after that, leaving Lily to trudge through the castle and think that her homework wasn't done because Wizard Lenin was refusing to help her with her essays because he was still being petty over the giant snake fiasco and just generally grumpy about being a crippled and now she wasn't Gilderoy Lockhart in the play and things just weren't turning out Lily.
Eventually, flipping through the script, Lily found herself instead of wandering upstairs to check on Wizard Lenin (which she probably should be doing at some point but given the whole time machine thing she had all the time in the world to do that) walking out towards the empty quidditch pitch to sit alone in the stands.
Flipping through until she found her part she stared out at the empty stands as if they were her stage, and cried out in despair, "But Gilderoy, without you in my life how will I ever love again?! Without you, my angel, I shall drown!"
The words reverberated, without meaning, without significance, and certainly without the necessary humanity and emotion that poor love interest number three must be feeling. Lily, huffing and sitting back on the bleachers, instead sorted through her half-written essays, falling upon one for Potions asking her to explain why crushed newt eyes made a potion spongier.
Naturally, Lily had no idea, especially since she hadn't actually made a potion by the original recipe since her first year. Lately she'd just started winging and cheating her way through the whole damn class, which was not doing wonders for her essay grades.
Lily groaned, flung herself backwards onto the bleachers to stare up at the overcast sky in resigned despair, "Oh Hogwarts, why do you have to hurt me so?"
Hogwarts, naturally, didn't answer.
However, to Lily's infinite surprise, something or someone that was not the ancient castle did.
"Because Hogwarts simply cannot appreciate you, Lily."
Lily jerked upwards, looking around at the still desperately empty stands and pitch, searching for the source of the voice. It was young, very likely a little girl's voice though it was a bit hard to tell without a face to accompany it, and it was also just a touch too fond and a bit too bitter.
There was so much… emotion underlying those words, particularly the last, Lily, it had been laced with nostalgia, yearning, but also something jaded and angry as if the last time that name had been used had not been entirely pleasant.
"Yes?" Lily finally asked, standing and brushing off her uniform as she still searched for the voice, "Can I help you?"
There was a pause, a rather ominous one, and then bright tinkling laughter that could hardly contain itself as if Lily had just told the punchline of the funniest joke the disembodied voice had ever heard.
And it was, Lily thought, disembodied. Lily had voices in her head, was very intimate with a voice in her head, but that didn't sound or feel the same as this. This was coming from somewhere else, somewhere nearby, but she just couldn't put her finger on the source.
"Of course you can, Lily, but I think the true question of the day is how I might be of some help to you."
Lily thought about that rather blankly for a moment, wondering if Hogwarts was trying to make up for its lack of weird in the past few months, it was running below the usual quota, and finally settled on, "I'm not supposed to take candy from strangers."
Again, that amused laugh, then, "No candy, Lily, I promise. However, if it makes you too uncomfortable to accept aid for nothing, how about a bargain instead?"
A bargain, well, that sounded shady as well, but at least there was the idea that the mysterious invisible voice would be getting something out of it as well. Lily shifted, prepared herself instinctively for battle, and asked, "What kind of a bargain?"
The voice, instead of answering directly, decided to go off on a wild and whimsical tangent, "Rumor has it you're one of the lead characters in Lockhart's second year play."
Rumor traveled very quickly, Lily thought, she'd only been assigned that this afternoon. Except, this didn't sound like the voice of anyone in Lily's class that she could name off the top of her head. Certainly, it wasn't Hermione's distinctive cynical or bossy snark, Greengrass' demure cynicism, or Pansy Parkinson's typical screech.
"And?" Lily asked.
"And you have potential," the voice continued, and Lily could easily imagine its lips curving into a smile, "But you lack heart. You could be great with a little bit of help."
"Help from you?" Lily asked, feeling her eyebrows rising dubiously, and wondering if she had somehow found the patron god of shitty high school musicals to guide her.
"Certainly," the voice said with a confidence that it probably didn't deserve, "I am reputed far and wide for my superb excellent abilities."
Lily wondered if it would be rude to point out that an invisible voice could not possibly be reputed far and wide about anything to anyone. However, when Hogwarts decided to get weird on you, it was usually best to just go along with it and get it over with already.
"More," the voice added, now with a little bit more enthusiasm since Lily wasn't running away screaming, "I can write your essays for you."
Well, that certainly got Lily's attention.
Lily held up her unfinished essay for Transfiguration, due in a hideous timeframe of two days with only the line, "What I learned in Transfiguration today is…" written at the top.
"Hold up," Lily said, "You mean you can write, you can finish this, for me?"
"With ease," the voice responded, sounding now a little proud as well as a little dismissive, as if Transfiguration essays were the easiest thing in the world and it could do it in its sleep. You know, if disembodied voices slept, or had the hands with which to write essays.
Still, with that kind of an answer, Lily wasn't quite sure she cared who this voice was or where it had come from and what it wanted. If it would do what Wizard Lenin was too proud and petty to then power to it.
She grinned, reached into her bag to pull out her supplies then stopped, narrowed her eyes into the vast emptiness and asked, "Wait a minute, this is a bargain, what do you want?"
The voice considered this for a few moments, mulling the words over, then said, "I want answers, I want to get to know you, who you really are beneath the pomp and circumstance of Eleanor Lily Potter. I want… so much, too much, but more than that I want devotion."
"Devotion?" Lily asked, not really liking that word or the way the voice breathed it, as if it too was in worship of the mere idea of devotion.
"Yes, devotion, to what I can teach you and what we can share together."
Lily considered that rather dubiously, wondering if that was something a stranger in an unmarked white van with candy might say to her, and then noted, "I'm not sure I can really do devotion."
"Then you will never be all that you can be on the stage," the voice noted, "Or, I believe, in Eleanor Lily Potter."
That, again, stopped her and she wondered how it was so perceptive. It, out of everyone besides Wizard Lenin, was the only one to see that Ellie Potter wasn't a name but an idea that was forced on her shoulders and one she constantly failed to live up to. Wizard Lenin had never given her a means of embracing it, or playing it fully, this voice, for whatever reason, was.
Still, Lily hesitated, thought over the words, then asked, "You mean like… devotion to you as in the patron saint of shitty high school plays?"
The voice hesitated, and she got the idea that it was somewhat affronted by that, but eventually it agreed, "I wouldn't have put it quite like that, but I suppose, if that's what you want to call me. It's not as if I wasn't the patron saint of shitty high school plays."
This last was a grumble and after it Lily caught mutterings of something called a slug club along with pandering to the aristocratic masses and goddamn them all I still didn't get rewarded for all that work.
Lily decided she wasn't even going to ask but instead just formalize their agreement, "Alright then, so if I agree to answer your questions and be devoted to you as my patron saint then you'll do my essays and make me not the worst in this play."
"Again, I would not put it quite like that, but yes," the voice said with a sigh, as if he knew that was about the best he was going to get. Then, oddly, after a pause, it said with that returning fondness, "I truly have missed you, Lily."
Lily wasn't sure when she was gone long enough to have been missed by anyone, or if during her absence last year, anyone aside from Neville and maybe Hermione had really missed her. Then, Lily was caught on that name again, hesitating, "Why do you call me that, Lily, I mean?"
And it laughed again, and she could almost feel its delighted grin, "Because what else, Lily, could I possibly call you?"
That wasn't an answer, she thought, but it was probably the best damn answer she was going to get and Lily really did want those essays done and wasn't about to say no to not embarrassing herself in front of the collected student body. So, she just nodded, held out her hand as if to shake the voice's, and said, "Alright then, we have a deal."
No one shook her hand back, but the bargain was made all the same.
Author's Note: At the author's request, and since I likely will not have time to update this weekend, we're going to flood post this. So brace your inboxes people.
