Veigar the Master of Evil in Business

Chapter 2- The Meeting of EVIL! (And Lunch)

"And with the new quantum mechanics it will produce a new energy source that uses an infinite mana source that comes from a nexus crystal that came from the Noxian mines that were dug by the Noxian workers and were hired by the…"

Veigar was at the brink of killing himself with his own tie.

"The boredom is going to kill me before I can even try to strangle myself.f" Veigar concluded in his mind.

It was a Tuesday, and with every coming Tuesday in the Future of E.V.I.L, came a meeting in which everyone was supposed to attend to learn about the new technologies the scientists have made. However instead of just giving a brief summary or speech, the company director decided it was a good idea to f*** with them and send a boring, mono-tone speaking man to explain to them how some crap machine worked.

Veigar pounded his fist on top of the table and tried to keep himself from sleeping, or worse, dying.

"… And that concludes the way the machine was produced, and made…"

The entire room breathed out a sigh and were about to get up from their seats.

"Now comes the way the machine works…"

The entire room groaned and laid their faces down on the meeting table, taking their seats.

Veigar, who was currently drinking coffee, placing his fifth cup down as he tried to keep himself distracted.

Minutes gone by like a snail dragging itself along, and Veigar was one of the employees who were suffering. He looked up to see what the other employees were doing. Across from him sat Lee Sin who was sitting still either listening or zoning out… But the drool in the corner of his mouth proved otherwise. To his left sat Katarina and Garen who were writing vigorously, blushing as they did so. To his right sat Kog'Maw who was eating the donut boxes that were stacked in front of him, spitting acidic goo all over the floors and walls as he did so.

Veigar recoiled in disgust and leaned back in his comfy, black office chair. He began to doze off and soon he closed his eyes, going back to the dream that he dreamed of the day before…

Ruling the world…


The yordle smiled and breathed in the nice air conditioned air as she picked up a purple pastry, smiling as she did so. With her feet propped up against her desk, and her coffee mug that said "There is Good in E.V.I.L", she was living the dream of being in a high position of the E.V.I.L Corporation.

This yordle wore a velvet hat and a dress to match, along with her large wooden staff huddled against the corner of her room. Her office was brightly lit from a large window that casted large, golden rays of sunlight that scattered all over the room. The room itself was pretty standard, except for the fact that it had televisions and speakers everywhere.

The yordle giggled as she watched a fellow employee trip and smash his face against a wall yelling, "OH MY DEMACIA! IT HURTS! IT F****** HURTS!"

The yordle giggled and began to draw, "Poor Xin Zhao! I better bring him a purple cake to make him feel better!"

This yordles name is Lulu, one of the head officers within the E.V.I.L Corporation. To start off, Lulu began as a lower tier worker selling stuff by phone, and driving delivery trucks from house to house giving off goods. With customer recommendations flooding in about how good her service was, the head gave her a promotion. And a few weeks later, here she was!

Lulu was a peculiar yordle. She wasn't like the others…

She was a little insane, naïve, and carefree. But in truth, she just viewed the world differently and her experiences in life made her the way she is now.

An observant, paranoid yordle that likes to stalk people all day through her security cameras that she had personally installed all over her office.

How did this happen? Will its simple!

Someone stole her purple cake…

After that fateful day, Lulu couldn't bare it. She lost control, and she went on a rampage; transforming people into squirrels, transforming employees into birds, the works. The head of the company gave her one good look, and instantly made her the head of security and shipment of electronics…

The company system is pretty f***** up.

With her creepy habit, and job, Lulu has her sights set on one particular employee. A purple one in fact, a short purple yordle with a wizard hat…

Lulu looked up from her drawing and spotted him, on the camera, running out of the meeting office shouting, "FREEDOM!" then slipping on a stray piece of paper.

Lulu giggled and sighed happily, staring at Veigar with half closed eyes.

Suddenly a pink flying pixie appeared before Lulu and bowed, carrying a fairy sized camera around its neck.

"Oh Pix! Back already?" Lulu asked as she munched on a purple bagel.

The fairy nodded and handed her the camera, puffing up his chest as he did so.

"You're the best Pix! Did you manage to get some good shots!?"

The pixie nodded and took the memory card out of the camera, and placed it into her desktop. Almost instantly, a file came up on her personal computer monitor titled 'Definitely NOT Super Secret Stuff'.

She clicked on the folder and she waited a second before the entire screen was flooded with pictures of a certain purple yordle in his business suit and wizard hat.

Lulu scrolled through the pictures and stared at one particular one labeled, "Day 351 (1 of 15)"

She stared with a smile on her face as she did so and began to day dream.

"Oh Veigar~" Lulu said as she hugged the computer monitor, "You'll be mine soon…"


"F****** GOD DAMN IT!" Veigar yelled as he rubbed his head with his gloved hand, "WHO THE HELL PLACED PAPER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY!?"

"Or better yet, why the hell would you be running in an office?" Yasuo remarked as he and Veigar walked towards the cafeteria for lunch.

"Ohhh, now aren't you just mister smart ass?" Veigar said rolling his eyes.

Yasuo just laughed as he pressed the elevator button for the ground floor. "That's my middle name, don't wear it out."

Veigar huffed and crossed his arms, "I can't believe they made us stay in that damned meeting room for an hour and a half! Like seriously, it felt like an eternity!"

"Unlike you my dear friend, the wind is forever eternal. It blows where ever it goes, leaving its mark as time passes by-"

"You're not making any sense you know that?"

Yasuo grunted, "True that…"

The elevator door opened and a pool of workers fell out, chattering loudly amongst each other about work, gossip, and other things.

The E.V.I.L building was very well furnished in the inside with an employee lounge, high tech bathrooms, televisions broadcasting news, gift shops, and a well furnished cafeteria that offered cheap foods like burgers and tacos.

As Veigar and Yasuo opened the double doors that lead to the cafeteria, they were suddenly hit by a set of delicious smells that made their mouths water.

Yasuo breathed in deeply as he made his way towards the lunch line, "Man, I'm up for some good ol'e processed meat!"

Veigar scrunched his nose and eyed the junk the humans called, "fast food."

"How can you eat this stuff!?" Veigar protested grabbing a fruit cup, "I can literally smell s*** coming out of this garbage!"

Yasuo laughed as he picked a salad and some milk, "You yordles got no taste in food… At least in human food."

"We yordles like to eat what you humans eat. But we've been avoiding this junk for centuries on end!"

"I'm pretty sure fast food wasn't invented centuries ago."

"Again, a smart ass…"

Veigar and Yasuo took their seats in a secluded area of the cafeteria away from the crowds of people that were huddling into their groups.

Veigar and Yasuo both ate in silence for a while till a fellow employee began to come over.

Veigar's eyes widened as he realized who it was. And he clenched his teeth tightly at the sight of the hideous monster that called himself a yordle.

Yasuo as well cringed slightly as he realized who was coming their way. His hands clenched tightly and he winced from remembering the pain from the poison this demon caused on the Rift years back.

Both of the workers sighed in anger as the both said, "Teemo…"

Teemo settled his tray of mushrooms down and offered them a heartwarming smile.

"What up guys!? Meeting was pretty interesting huh?"

Veigar shacked his head, "Teemo, what the hell are you doing here?"

Teemo looked up from his drug shrooms, disguised as a mushroom salad, and smiled, "Was just looking for a place to sit. Most of the seats were taken and overcrowded. So I decided to stay here with you guys!"

"Teemo, I do not mean to be rude or anything but we still have grudges against you…" Yasuo exclaimed taking a sip of his milk.

Teemo's eyes widened, "Hey look man, that was years ago! I'm out of the shroom business I swe-"

"We saw you smoking a stack in the back during lunch break yesterday…" Veigar whispered in his ear.

Teemo's eyes widened, and then grabbed Veigar's shirt collar. "Listen here you low life piece of tits! If you rat me out to the company head I'll be sure to put your name in my death box two times this week."

"Oh? And how many tickets do I have in there?" Veigar remarked, a hidden grin crossing his lips.

"To many… In fact if I told you, you'll be crying on the floor wishing you were never born."

Veigar pushed Teemo's hand away and chuckled, "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say you lunatic."

Suddenly, the intercom went off in the cafeteria and a women's voice with a French accent boomed. "Laidtes and gentlemen, may I ave your attenshion please?"

The cafeteria went silent as they turned their attention to the speakers.

"If vue may, report to dah auditorium for anozar staff meeting please! We ave a new employee who you all shall bee dying to meet!"

"ROAR!"

The French ladies voice fell into chaos as a gorilla like roar echoed through the speakers.

"Ghet avay from meh you viel monstar!"

"GNARRRR!" The creature yelled.

Then the speakers went silent and all the employees filed out of the cafeteria grumbling.

"So I take it this fellow is going to be another psychopath?" Yasuo said.

Veigar nodded and looked at Teemo, "Afraid so…"

Yasuo facepalmed himself, "Just what I needed…"

"Once again," Veigar said leaving a high Teemo behind, "smart ass…"