"I can't fucking believe it, seven more lost! Fuck!"John crumbled the paper in his hand and slammed his fists in the wooden table in front of him. He stayed there, twitching his arms.
Everyone in the room had their eyes on John. The room was completely silence, only the sound of the fan in the corner could be heard. The man who had delivered the paper to John was frozen. His face was covered in sweat and soon a drop would fall from his chin. It wasn't unusual that John had a temper, but to see him this angry was a surprise to even those who had been around for a long time.
John took a deep breath and straightened up. He bent his head back and had his eyes closed. The silence was nice, but almost uncomfortable.
Do they expect something to happen? John thought, breathing slowly in and out. He opened his eyes and looked at the terrified man in front of him. This is not what I wanted from you.
John let go of the paper and sighed. "I don't want to see your face until you have some good news." He snarled. The man gulped. he couldn't move. "LEAVE!" The man was so scared, that he fell backwards. In a panic he turned around on the floor, trying to pull himself up as he moved forward. He ran out of the room, leaving the door open behind him. John turned around to face the others in the room. "You can all leave." He said as calmly as he could, even though they could all see traces of anger within him. The biggest clue was the vein by his left eye popping out, almost looking like it was going to explode. Everyone was starting to scurry out of the room, but as Elle was passing him, he grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. "Not you." He whispered through his closed teeth.
As the room became empty and the last man had closed the door behind him, John finally let go of Elle. She took a step away from him before crossing her arms. John could see that she didn't know why she was held back, but if John was going to be honest, he didn't know either.
"What is it, boss?" Elle asked irritated. John hated when Elle called him boss, especially when they were alone, but he knew Elle didn't like to use the term 'dad'.
John pulled his hair back, feeling the dry wax almost peeling off as he drew his fingers through. He bit his lip, not really knowing what to say. How was he going to explain this? He took a deep breath. "Elle..." He stopped, he didn't have the heart to tell her, but she would find out sooner or later.
Just tell her, she needs to know. John felt his heart almost drop. How are you going to explain this, huh? She will hate you for this, she told you they weren't ready. But god damn, we were all desperate. Fuck!
"Elle... Christer and Emma have been captured." He felt his heart beat faster as he said those words. Elle's expression went from irritated, shocked, angry and then sad. She leaned back onto one of the tables in the room. Her eyes were about to be filled with tears. John was going to walk to her, but she held her hand up, stopping him.
"Don't..." She slowly let her hand down, signalling to John that he was not to come any closer. She was clenching her fists and her jaw was shaking. She looked up at John with dark eyes. John could tell she wanted to kill him, or at least punch him in the face. "I... I told you..." She muttered. John could barely hear her. If it wasn't for the silence, he wouldn't hear a thing. "I fucking told you..." She said a little louder. Elle looked at her clenched fists and straightened her fingers out. Her hands were shaking. She looked up at John. A tear had escaped her eye, but she was angrier than sad. "I fucking told you they weren't ready. I fucking told you!" Elle yelled at him. She pushed herself up from the table and walked over to John's desk. "How?" She asked, staring intently at him.
John had seen Elle mad before, but this flow of emotions was new to him. She would always go to her mother. Always when something was going on with Elle, her mother was always the solution, even for the smallest things, her mother would save the day. He remembered that one time when Elle's mother wasn't home and something had happened that needed her attention. John had offered to help, but he wasn't good enough. Elle told him that she would just have to wait, so she would keep the problem with her until her mother returned. And as soon mom returned home, everything was fine. Just a simple hug from her mother was enough. John didn't complain, but he did wish he had a bigger part of Elle's life.
"They were ambushed on their post; most likely someone had told the authority about them. We have never had anyone being spotted at that sight, it's impossible. The observation plan was bulletproof. I have no other explanation on how they got caught." John explained. He was nervous of Elle not finding his answer satisfying enough. Christer and Emma were two of her closest friends, and they had all been training together since they were five years old, of course Elle started around when she was two, since she was the daughter of the leader.
Elle grabbed the paper on John's desk. She started to read it.
[Mark of the authority middle top]
This letter is to inform the leader of Arbitrium that, the 22nd of May, seven members, three women and four men, of their clan have been taken down and transported to the Amare facility where they will be executed for their crimes against our king and queen.
We will also inform you that all the prisoners will be tortured for information. Everything we find will be used to take you down.
There is still a possibility to save them all by surrendering the clan and yourself to the authority and end this foolish war. You are wasting many lives to fight for a cause not worth fighting for. We can come to an agreement if you would find that more suiting. Send a letter explaining what your terms are and send them with a Gyftrot to the main facility of Gaster jurisdiction.
Signed W. D. Gaster [Official stamp of Gaster authority]
John looked at Elle as she slowly placed the letter on his desk. She placed a hand over her mouth. "We have to get them." Elle mouthed between her fingers. All John could hear was 'We - get them'. John placed a hand on Elle's shoulder, but she shrugged it off.
"Elle, we can't save them. They are out of reach now." He tried to explain. Elle gave John a look of disapproval. She removed her hand from her mouth and took a step back.
"This is so you, you have always backed out when someone needs your help. Never been there to save anyone, not even mom." John felt a stung in his chest, but it was quickly supressed by the anger filling him.
He slammed his fist in the wooden table. "How dare you say that?! I have always been there for both you and your mother. I couldn't do shit when they got to her! If I had, they would have taken me as well, the clan would have been scattered and dead and you..." John paused from yelling at Elle. He had to stop before his tears would run down his face. He slammed his fist one more time, the pain helped him stop the tears. "You would be dead as well. I couldn't take that risk. I couldn't take the risk of losing you both."
Elle was shocked by his reaction, John could see that. He looked up at the ceiling and gritted his teeth. John took a deep breath and straightened his jacket. He was getting warm, uncomfortably warm. "You may not help them, but I will." Elle said.
"Don't be ridiculous, Elle. You can't set foot there without being caught, don't put yourself or anyone else in danger." John felt the anger come back. Not because it was a bad idea, but the idea of losing his daughter because someone had ratted out on the group's position, it almost made him sick.
Elle turned around and walked towards the door. "Elle, please! Don't do this! I can't afford to lose you." He yelled after his daughter.
Elle stopped and turned around too look at him. "If you can afford to lose so many without doing anything, you can afford to lose me too." She turned around and grabbed the door, walked outside and slammed the door behind her.
John could tell she slammed the door intentionally. He saw how she calmly walked out the door, turned around to give him a last mean look and used her whole body to slam the door shut. He felt the pressure of air hit him. She was mad, real mad. He had to find someone to keep an eye on her. He knew he couldn't stop her, but he could at least keep an eye on her. He picked up the phone on the table and hovered a finger over the number pad.
Elle was shaking after she had slammed the door as hard as she could after she left John. She hadn't felt this mad since... since... mom. Her body stopped shuddering. Tears filled her eyes and glided slowly down her cheeks. Mother... I miss you... I miss your smile... I miss your warmth and most of all... I miss your hugs. Your soft and calming hugs. Elle swallowed some of her sadness as she noticed some of the members in the hall was looking at her. Got to get away from here. Elle dried her tears away with the back of her sleeve. She took a deep breath before she walked down the hall, pretending as if everything was fine. She felt her heart was aching, but she couldn't let it overcome her before she finally was alone.
Elle climbed the stairs all the way to the top, since the elevator was broken, and opened the fire door that led to the rooftop. As she stood on the roof, she could see almost the whole city. She was glad that up here she could almost always be alone. Few people bothered to go up all those stairs to get a break. Elle remembered her mother helped her all the way up the first time she was here. She was so determined to make it, just to make her mother proud.
Elle looked around herself, making sure no one was around. She climbed up the one ventilator and sat on top of it. She could hear the cars beneath her honking. It wasn't too quiet, just enough noise to drown her deepest thoughts, but let her think of her fondest memories.
A smile grew on her face when she thought about that one time she helped Emma and Christer up here for the first time. Elle pushed them so hard that when they finally got to the top, they almost passed out. Luckily Elle's mother had joined them, bringing water and some cookies with her. She knew how to reward them. Her homemade chocolate chip cookies were the very best. Elle missed them a lot. She had tried to bake some herself, but she was probably the worst person she knew to be in the kitchen. She knew the basics of cooking, but baking was a weak spot for her. She wished she could just have a taste of those cookies, just one last time.
As she sat there, smiling to herself, a white pigeon landed just a few feet away from here. She heard it coo softly, as if it wanted her to know it was there, but not to disturb. Her mother had told her some pigeons were trained to send letters and small things. She had never seen anyone had used it, but she still believed it to be true. Of course, in these times, birds were just a sign of freedom, at least to Elle. She had never seen a bird in cage, not once, and she was glad for it. She hated the thought of being stuck in a room, not being able to move around freely. She needed the freedom to run, jump and fall. All her life she had had this freedom, and she would never let anyone take that away from her.
How am I going to save you guys. Elle thought and looked down. John is right, I can't do this without getting caught. I won't even get close to that place without being spotted. I hate it when he's right! I just don't want to lose my closest and oldest friends in my life. Probably my only friends who knew everything about me, or at least almost all of it. Elle glanced at the dove, it was looking around for food. Elle chuckled to herself. You won't find anything here, little one. You might as well look somewhere else. The dove was slowly getting closer to her. Elle found it weird that it was not scared of her. Perhaps I should try to at least get some information on exactly where in Amare prison they will be placed. If they're not in the middle of the building, but rather by the edge of it, perhaps a place with a window, I could try to contact them, but how? I would be spotted no matter what. Elle jumped down from the ventilator and the dove flew up in the air and away. Sorry for scaring you, buddy. Elle thought to herself.
Elle walked over to the edge of the building, leaning over the edge to look down at the traffic and the people walking beneath her. It was something calm about watching so many people without hearing a sound come from them. She turned around and sank down, resting her back to the edge. She knew she would never be able to get to them. Elle looked up at the cloud free sky. She breathed slowly. She closed her eyes and she saw her mother and herself up here. It was dark and the sky was filled with millions of stars. Her mother had lit some candles just to be able to see where they were stepping. Elle was just a small girl and loved spending every moment she could with her mother. Elle had her feet on her mother's as they were dancing together. They were both giggling and smiling. Elle enjoying this very special moment, because all she could hear was her mother's singing. She was singing some of Elle's favourite songs. She was a talented singer and Elle had inherited that talent, except after her mother's death when Elle was only 11 years old, she would never sing another note. A few times, she would find herself singing a few tunes when she was in the shower, or when she was actually cooking something she was very familiar with, but as soon as she realised, she stopped. It was always the same tune.
And you can tell everybody, this is your song. It may be quite simple, but now that it's done. I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words. How wonderful life is while you're in the world. It was Elle's and her mother's favourite song to sing. She had told Elle that she fell in love with the song the first time she heard it, when her mother had sung her the song. Elle smiled just thinking of the lyrics. It was a very old song. She remembered that Elle would beg her mother to sing it while she sat listening to it. Every time she sang it, a faint golden glow surrounded her. Oh mom. Elle smiled.
Elle heard the door to the roof slammed and she opened her eyes. By the door stood her father. He was looking at her with worry in his eyes. Elle just looked at him with an expressionless face. John slowly walked over to her. She didn't feel her rage against him anymore, she only felt happiness mixed with sadness. He sat down next to her, leaning his back to the edge. He took a deep breath, almost sighing. They didn't look at each other. They were just sitting there. Elle had her eyes closed. It was always like this after they had a disagreement. She would leave, some time would pass and he would come.
"Elle, I know I can't stop you from helping your friends, and you know I can't do anything. I'm sorry that your cowardly father can't do anything, but I can't put everyone at risk of being hurt. I just wanted to tell you that I have a man on the inside that can give a message to them if there is something you want them to know, but that's it. His name is Canis. He's a monster guarding the front gate. He works the nightshift alone there, so contact him then. He looks like a do and he always have a bone haning out of his mouth. I'm truly sorry I can't do more, Elle." John was calm, but Elle could hear he was sorry, and almost sad. "I wish there were more I could do." He finished.
Elle didn't say anything. How can just a simple message to Christer and Emma be helpful? What am I supposed to say? That I'm going to get them out? That would be a lie. That everything would be okay? That would also be a lie, they were going to be tortured for information before getting killed. Elle sighed. She looked over at her father who were just staring blankly forward, lost in his thoughts.
Silence.
"I remember taking your mother up here the first time. Starry sky, candles lit and a small music box played her favourite songs. And after you were born, this would be her and yours place. A place where you could make the greatest memories that could be made." John pulled out a small picture from his inner jacket pocket. It had visible marks of being folded. "I want you to have this. I've kept it with me since the day it was taken. I hope you'll take good care of it." He handed it to Elle, who carefully took it. She looked at the picture. Her heart warmed up by looking at it.
It was a picture of her and her mom dancing in the dim light from the candles. Her dress was flowing to the side, as if she was turning. Elle had her feet on top of her mother's feet to be guided while dancing. She could see some of the brightest stars in the background. They were both smiling, but it was her mother's smile that was the most beautiful one.
Elle bit her lower lip, trying to hold back tears. She held the picture to her chest and looked at her father. They both stood up. Elle opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, John pulled her close and hugged her tightly. She couldn't remember last time they had been this close. It seemed only her mother kept them together.
They stood there for a while. Elle had wrapped her arms around her father and felt her tears fall. They were soaked up by her father's shirt. "Elle, I'm proud of you." He whispered and Elle sobbed. "You remind me so much of your mother, so strong... so stubborn... so determined." He kissed her head and they finally let go of each other. Elle could barely see her father through her tear-filled eyes.
"Thank you... father." She smiled. He smiled back and patter her on her shoulder. Elle could see how proud he was.
"I have to go now, I'm sorry, but I will be back tomorrow. In the meanwhile, why don't you talk to Anthony and ask him about if he knows more about what happened, he was the last to have contact with the group." Elle nodded and John walked towards the door. "And Elle, please get some rest, I think you'll need it." He smiled before leaving her.
Elle looked at the picture one more time and smiled. Elle didn't have her mother's short hair, but the colour was the same, warm brown hair. She had her mother's eyes though, gorgeous chocolate brown.
I will stay determined, mother. I will for you. Elle folded the picture neatly and placed it in her inner jacket pocket.
