Have you ever felt as if there was something missing in your life? Like there was a piece of your heart missing inside but you don't know exactly what it is? That is pretty much me at the moment. Today happens to be my 16th birthday and till this day I could feel as if part of me wants more for myself. My Grandmother, who died about 2 months ago had always told me to find myself is to be who I really am inside. Honestly, I don't really know who I am exactly. My whole life I've been told to express myself and "blah blah blah" the same thing everyone else tell you. But what if you are not even sure what you want? I'm just a girl; I got to school, occasionally gawk over boys, typical teenage girl stuff. Even with that, I felt like it wasn't completely… me.

My mom arranged some kind of fail attempt of a surprise party (since I found out the first day she decided to plan it). Any moment now, my mom would call downstairs to try to attempt to surprise me, so I would evidently needed to make a fake smile just to make it seem compelling. Nethertheless, if I was going I got one of my long light blue silk dresses; it was comfortable and had silver blue curls on the tip of the bottom. I put own also my new black stiletto high heels my dad bought me as a before birthday present. I walked up to my mirror that dangled behind my door and admire at my final outfit choice.

"I am Victoria Justice." I stared at myself in the mirror; reminding myself who I was thinking that maybe somehow I'll find what's missing. I felt like a total idiot talking to myself. Well you can't blame a girl for trying.

I look hard at myself in the mirror for a good 5 minutes trying to see what exactly I am looking at. I hated the fact that I would over think the littlest of things. I couldn't help it; it was just something that bothered me a lot for a while. I can't just let it go; life isn't just that simple. All I could really do is look at myself and realize the good things I needed to appreciate about myself.

'I'm not a half bad looking chick' I thought to myself as I turned and twirl around like a total ballerina.

I had a long dark brown hair and it ran down my shoulders. It was straight but at the same time its tips were curled and really appealing. I luckily had a very slim body, which fit perfectly on my dress. My legs were long and my skin tone was tan. I looked at myself and people could even say I look like what every other girl wised they were. I always have been proud of myself and what I look like, not to sound too coincided or anything. From the window, the light from the moon shine all over my room and made me sparkle from the sight of the mirror. I really couldn't believe it was getting this late; the day seemed to slip by me so rapidly. It was a gorgeous Friday night to have a birthday party. My dress complimented my glistening bracelets, which color was aquamarine. To sum it up, I guess you could say I looked like a total princess. Yet looking at this very beautiful girl, there was something lost inside her, something she wished she knew what it was…

"Victoria, honey! Please can you come down and help mommy with something in the kitchen" I heard her voice bellowed from downstairs.

'Oh god, really…?' my mom could not make it any obvious what she was doing I thought to myself. My mom has always been such a horrible liar. She has attempted many times to have a surprise birthday, all ends up failing because she can't keep her mouth shut. Like seriously if you are going to try to help it, at least come up with new tricks. Nevertheless, I still love the fact that she makes them. Whether they are a surprise or not, one is better than none.

I gradually open the door and strolled downstairs as (exactly how I expected in my head) were all my friends and family appeared shouting the typical birthday thing: Surprise!

"Oh my!" I acted startled, as if stunned to thrill my mom. Even though it was fake as possible, I beamed with exhilaration. Oh god, here comes the pathetic act of my smile.

"You were surprise, weren't you?" she said giving me a wink.

"Oh of course I was totally unexpecting this." I chuckled and grinned.

My dad came behind her they both gave me a hug, saying Happy Birthday and all that crap about how much they love me. I didn't really know how to react, I was finally 16. The age where I can drive, parties with friends, and all that great stuff. I should be cheerful, but I'm not. I could only extend my true feelings for so much. Right I really would just prefer to go take a warm nap on my bed.

As they finish, the crowd of friends and family yelled "Happy Birthday" to me. I gazed around to see all my friends and family members eating and drinking and laughing as they should at a party. My stomach is in knots, twisting and turning through each step I take. I think I'm getting sick, but it's probably all my stress getting into my head. Stress? On my birthday? Sounds pretty stupid, huh? Here I am, complaining over something I know nothing about? I swear I have serious problems with myself. Out of this group of people, I felt so alone and misplaced. I felt as if I didn't belong here and I didn't know exactly why? I felt as beautiful as a princess as everyone cheer and called my name for a picture. What exactly could be that is bothering me?

My mom walked back up and broke my train of thoughts, "So how do you feel my beautiful princess?"

"I feel… mature?" I replied, not really knowing what to say. Mature? Yeah, right.

She stared at me with her huge shady coffee eyes, "Of course honey! But it looks like something troubling you…?"

"No, no! It's fine mom, really! I'm happy and thank you for everything." I smiled and gave her a reassuring hug.

"Alright then… I leave you to it. I'm going to try to find your Aunt Leslie before she ends up devouring all the wine we have" she rolled her eyes, I giggled stridently has my mom walked away into the crowd of people.

I went back to gaze at all the guests. I perceive that out of all the kids I knew and called them 'friends' not one of them do I consider "close" or "best friend." I felt pretty weird that I knew so many people yet not one of them have ever had to time to get to know me? I've always been such a loner girl in school I guess. I pretty much would just always not be so "open" and crazy like others. But the weird thing was that everyone liked me for some reason. People would always see me and say hi and what not. Many guys would ask me on dates (I'd turned them down though). I always have been this way, very apart and not so in the crowd type of girl. The whole popularity shit never really bothered me, even though it seems to benefit me. Throughout I have always just felt out of place like I do now. Now it's just like I finally recognize how out of place I really was. I would walk to class alone most of the time, and at lunch I would just with lots of different people even though I barely ever talked. I sound like a completely lunatic to be honest. I mean seriously, things could be so much worse if I thought about it. But even so, I felt like it's just not my world to live in. Like something inside was calling out to me and trying to get out. But do I really want to figure what it is?

As if I almost felt like I was shocked my electricity, I jumped out of over thinking. I didn't honestly realize what I was doing un till I just felt myself get poked. I kept myself just to stand in place while everyone around me passed by, as if they forgot who party this is for. I needed a staid break hastily before I get more infuriated and go insane. I began to walk away and decided to get some fresh air outside; hoping it would help clear my head and focus. I gradually closed the door behind me and sauntered slowly to the sidewalk of my house. I glanced up to see the moonlight of the sky brighten as if it was an oversize light bulb. It was striking scene and it made me feel so connected to everything. Ever since I was a kid, I love to always admire the moon and the way it looked like. I remember taking camping trips with my dad and he would always tell me funny stories while we looked up at the moon.

He would always tell me 'The moon is your friends; it guides you away from the darkness.' I never really understood what that meant; nevertheless I always loved the felling of freedom when I would stare up into the profound vivid sight of the moon.

All of a sudden there was a abrupt sharp throbbing in my head, as it out of nowhere someone stab my head with a piercing force. I staggered to the floor trying to withstand the unknown pain I felt in me. I looked again up to the moon and, as if the illumination of the moon, healed and brushed away all the pain in my head. For a moment, I felt dazed and confused.

'What was that?' I thought to myself trying to gain my strength.

And there it was, an incredible light force shining intensely across the street. I lurked around to observe that the whole street was completely deserted and unaided. My focus came back to the light. It was so stunning sight to behold. Its presence mesmerized my whole body and the glow sinked into my skin, feeling warm and tingly. As if my legs had its mind of their own, I began to stride toward the bright light.

'Come to me, my wonderful daughter' a voice slowly whispered into my ear.

As commanded, I continued walking forward. I did not look back or even around my surroundings. I only kept my attention on the light. The sensation was something I never have felt before. It was drawing me near, almost impossible not to stop. I didn't really care whether the light was a good thing or a bad. But there was just something so familiar about it that made me want to see more.

'My beautiful young daughter, how blessed am I to have you here' the voice sounded like a young charming woman, almost like my mother's voice.

"W-Who are you..?" my voice sounded very soft and frail.

'Who I am right now is not important. What is important that you are safe and I give you my blessings' the light was leisurely starting to vanish.

"Wait! Don't go yet!" was all I could call out. I got closer, hoping it would stick around for a couple more seconds.

'I apologize, my young one. I must leave now, but remember keep safe! Have a blessed birthday, Victoria' the light lifted in the air, and like on cue, it disappeared into the darkness of the night.

I stood there gazing upward; trying to figure out what the hell was that? For a moment I felt as if I just imagined it. I squinted my eyes and rubbed hoping this was all just part of illusion of all my stress.

"Victoria, what in the world are you doing out here? Come inside we are about to cut the cake!" I heard my mother voice shout behind me.

I stared back to see her at the door, "Sorry, I'm coming right now!"

Little by little, I regain my postured and sanity. I smiled to my mother, reassuring her that I'm fine. To honest, I don't even think I'm close to fine. Before I walked inside, I gazed at the moon for one last time. Even with the gorgeous sight I knew, deep inside, I knew something was terrible was going to go wrong after today…