This chapter is far from complete at the moment, but I'll probably carry on some more tonight, or maybe tomorrow. As always, please review, and enjoy!

I could hear more footsteps coming towards me and Finn, and a baby making wordless sounds. I wiped my eyes swiftly, trying to avoid smudging my mascara at the same time.I looked and saw Shelby, holding baby Beth, with Puck stood by her side, trying to hold his emotions together.

"How is she?" Puck asked Finn, the worry showing in his usually strong voice.

"She has four broken ribs, a fractured shoulder, and a bruised skull. She's in a medically induced coma, just until the pain is bearable and there sure they have all the injuries checked out." He replied. His voice was unfathomable, so I wasn't sure how he had taken my confession.

Puck just nodded and took a seat, taking Beth out of Shelby's arms and putting her on his knee. For the first time, I actually saw love in his eyes, love for Beth, I realized. So it was true, he loved her like any father would.

For the first time since they had arrived, Shelby spoke, "Are we aloud to see her?" she asked.
"Not until she wakes up." Finn replied.

A young male doctor wearing baggy scrubs stood in front of us then and said gently, "Visiting hours are over guys, I'm afraid you'll have to come back tomorrow."

"That's fine," Finn said, and he grabbed my hand and stood up, pulling me up slightly with him. I stood beside him, and said, "I guess we'll see you guys tomorrow then?" trying to hold my voice steady. I knew he wanted to get out of here, and talk about what I had said, and that was why he was rushing to get out.

Shelby eyed us suspiciously, I probably had blotchy eyes, and I knew Finn looked nervous, or at least unsure of himself. She didn't ask why though. I was glad, it was nothing to do with her anyway. I still couldn't look her in the eye without feeling sad, or thirsty.

"Yeah, bye Rachel." she replied, the curiosity showing.

And with that, we walked out of the hospital. Finn held my hand, and I didn't know whether it was to show Puck and Shelby we hadn't been fighting, or whether he actually wanted to hold my hand. Whichever it was, I was scared to leave with him, scared of what he would say to me. But most of all, I was scared of what he was already thinking of me.


It began raining, just as me and Finn and climbed into the safety of his car. He turned up the heating and looked out of the window. I guessed this was it then, the confrontation.

"What was all that about?" He asked me incredulously. "In the hospital, what was it?"

"The truth," I replied simply.

"So, what? You're feeling guilty? You think this is your fault?"

"Finn, I know it was my fault," I replied matter-of-factly.

"Your being ridiculous. Rachel, is this about Quinn? Or is it about you?"

"What?"

"Your doing that thing were you're making everything about yourself. This isn't about you Rachel, this isn't about us. So for once in your life, please, just think about the people around you. You-"

I cut in then, not being able to stand anymore of this. "Wow, that's how you think of me? I know this isn't about me, or us! I never said it was." My voice was getting high pitched now, and I was struggling to hold more tears from falling. "I was confessing to you, telling you my version of the story, trying to explain why this happened to Quinn! But obviously, I shouldn't have, because that would be making it too much about myself. If you think of me like that, why are you marrying me?" And with that I got out of the car, slammed the door and ran out of the parking lot.

I heard Finn calling me back, but I was angry, and needed to be alone, away from him. Tears ran down my cheeks, disguised by the splashing rain. Wind sliced through my dress like a knife, and water was seeping through my shoes, but I didn't stop running. I ran all the way home.


It was about an hour after the argument, and my Dad's had dried me off and put me straight to bed. I hadn't looked in the mirror since the wedding, but I knew I looked pretty terrible. For once, I didn't care. My phone had been vibrating none stop since I had come home, but I couldn't face him yet. Kurt had come knocking for me before, so obviously everyone knew what had happened. My eyelids felt heavy, and my own shivering was rocking me to sleep. I knew I had my Dads worried, but it didn't matter. I needed time to myself, to take in todays events. I wouldn't be surprised if no-one ever talked to me again. I had been stupid and childish, and I knew that. I also knew that I didn't deserve Finn, and he was right about me being selfish. But if I wasn't selfish, I wouldn't be me. I would be nice, and everyone would like me, but was that what I wanted? If everyone loved me, would that get in the way of my dreams to go to New York? I was suddenly asking myself questions I didn't know the answer to...questions I used to know the answer to, before I had felt love and be loved, before I had real, true friends. I fell asleep then, dreaming of New York, and of Finn.