Hot anticipation was tingling under her skin as she waited for the elevator to reach the top floor. She couldn't seem to stand still, her hands fidgeting with a seam of her jacket. She could do this. She would do this. She was going to do this. What if he didn't listen to her? She swallowed that doubt down with hope. Of course he would. She could do this. She was a cop, right? She could make anyone listen and talk. That was her job. She could do this.

Trembling muscles carried her out of the elevator and her breath was just a wee bit shaky. She could do this. She would do this. She—

"Katherine. What brings you here at this hour?" Whoa. Wait.

"Hi...Martha." She wasn't prepared for this. " I was actually hoping to find Rick."

"I'm afraid he isn't here. A young lady gave him her number this morning and he called her back just this afternoon. I can't seem to remember her name." Cool disappointment spread in Kate's chest.

"So are you saying that Castle–", she barely mustered up the courage to ask, "he's on a date?"

"It certainly seemed that way when he left."

This was horror. Frustration pushed teeth into her bottom lip. Hurt. Anger. How on earth could this be happening? This wasn't how it was supposed to be. He couldn't just call some random girl who probably scribbled her number on his Starbucks Cup, smiley face underneath.

Except he could.

He wasn't tied to her in any way. Not officially, that is. They had never given their little something a proper name, they just knew it was way beyond friendship. And they would figure it out someday somehow. Or at least that was what she had thought up until the point where he started being so distant. But now?

"Well, then… thanks. Martha. Have a good night," she said, hoping that her voice didn't give her away.

"You too, my dear." Martha closed the door softly, not without giving her a consolatory smile.

It was well past midnight when Kate unlocked the door to her apartment. She didn't even bother to switch on the lights and went straight to her bed, slipping out of her clothes and under the covers, which failed to offer any comfort. She knew she'd wake up restless.

(She did.)

Morning came fast and brutally, just to tear her out of bed and into some boots she found scattered across the floor. She brushed her teeth and left without a bite of breakfast, and she didn't care. She'd burn her lips to the precinct coffee like she always did ever since she had to get her own coffee in the morning. Pretty much like she had always done in the time before Castle. It still seemed fresh and bleeding not to find him with both of their cups in his palms, smiling widely, and she missed the way their fingers would touch for just a second when she took hers. She missed the tender look in his eyes when he said "Good morning" and how he always seemed to read her with ease. Most of the times that she's had a rough night, it was the first thing he saw. She missed the stories about the redheads and the ins and outs of his family life.

She missed approximately everything about him.

Ryan and Espo didn't seem to have noticed the change in Castle. They still laughed at the jokes he told, even if they seemed so different than the light-hearted, silly theories about the murders, which had vanished completely. Perhaps it was hard to catch for someone who didn't pay attention to him during the better part of the day. It could be a partner thing. She had seen Esposito pick up on Ryan's mood in a split second dozens of times and vice versa. Castle did that all the time. She knew he always had her back. Well, at least he used to.

Now she couldn't be so sure anymore.

There was no new case for them to work on, so she settled in with a pile of paperwork waiting for her to carefully comb through it. Ryan and Esposito were chatting about their weekend plans and debated what brand sold the best kind of cheese crackers. She didn't listen too carefully, just pushed and pulled paper over her desk and under her lazily scribbling pen. Laney called in around nine to say that she had finished the reports of the closed case and that they were in place for her to pick them up. Also she told her she would die to know how it had gone with Castle. Kate mumbled an absent-minded "not now" and only barely registered that Laney invited her to lunch to talk about it.

Castle still hadn't called. It was past ten. Her heart sank deeper with every minute that she checked her watch without a sign of him in the precinct. It wasn't typical. He showed up even if there wasn't a case. Just to join the team and supply them with coffee and Chinese takeout. It was something she had yet to get used to, because he had shown up later and later in the past weeks. She realized she was chewing on her pencil again, when Ryan leaned over.

"Hey, Beckett, Castle just texted me."

"What? Really?" Her heart started pounding noticeably. "What does he say?"

"That he won't come today and probably not tomorrow either. Says he's busy with something."

"Mm."

"What?" Ryan genuinely didn't seem to realize Castle was pulling away.

"It's just weird. Why wouldn't he text me?"

"I don't know, Beckett. He's gonna be fine, though, right? It's not like he won't come back." The mechanic grip of her fingers around the pen grew tighter.

"Yeah, of course not."

She pushed her best smile over her lips and tried to get back to the black and white in front of her. Of course he was gonna come back.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm sorry I kept you all waiting, and I promise I will update the next chapter sooner. It's just that real life got a bit in the way. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Stay tuned!