Wow, everyone really liked that first chapter, I hope you'll like chapter 2. As always thanks to my beta reader Josie Raine.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. I'm just borrowing it for a while.
"Sir, we have an issue." A woman in dark robes informed her boss in one of the many secret offices within the Department of Mysteries.
"What is it? If I find out someone gave the poltergeists shaving cream again," The Head shuddered "We barely managed to get them back in their room, and we still can't find Stan."
"Thankfully no," The aide also looked quite pale "However the instruments in the Time and Space rooms are producing some very odd readings."
"How odd?" The Head was quizzical
"The little one that looks like a muggle television grew legs and started doing the can-can."
"What does it mean?" The Head asked
"Well the last time this happened a blue police box appeared in the brain room," The aide checked her notes. "Apparently all the brains died due to a 'deficiency of proper logic', also someone stole Adam's lucky fez."
"So an interdimensional portal is opening, where?" The Head asked
"Somewhere in Surrey."
Vernon Dursley was confused and angry. Granted he was confused and angry on an almost constant basis, but still. Ever since he woke up this morning things had been going wrong. First on his way downstairs for breakfast, he had tripped on one of Dudley's toy cars sending him on a painful journey headfirst into the fireplace, which thankfully was not lit. After extricating himself he discovered that the stove was broken which meant he was unable to enjoy his preferred breakfast of bacon and eggs. While he was munching on his cereal one of the legs on his chair gave out, bringing him to the floor with a mighty crash. As he left the room, spewing several curses that I will not lower myself by repeating, he failed to notice a pair of green eyes staring at him from the grate in the cupboard door.
"That was great!" Harry declared to his new roommates
"Good to see that fat pig get what's coming to him." Lily agreed
"I still think it would be simpler to kill him." Tom sulked in the corner
The three sat in what Lily had dubbed Harry's mindscape, which had shifted from a smoky netherrealm to a cozy sitting room. On one of the walls a screen showed what Harry saw to the three eager viewers.
A scream sounded from upstairs
"I think Tuney discovered the beatles we put in her shampoo." Lily said with a smile
"Honestly this is ridiculous" Tom said "Surely you have better things to do than play pranks on these worthless muggles."
"Weren't you the one that suggested we put the mousetraps in Vernon's shoes?" Harry asked with the innocence only a child could muster.
"Yes, well" Tom cleared his throat. "They were right there, it was obvious."
"I think you're going soft, Tom" Lily said "Who would have thought all it would take was one night in the mind of a child."
The impending argument was thankfully interrupted by a very purple Vernon crashing into the cupboard.
"BOY!" He roared "I don't know how, but you've been doing things."
"I've been here all morning Uncle" Harry said while making himself look very small "How could I have done anything, I was locked in."
This put Vernon in a difficult position. On one hand he wanted so very much to blame his morning of misfortune on the small child in front of him. On the other hand the only way he could have gotten out was the magic Vernon tried so very hard to ensure the boy never so much as thought about. As the cogs in Vernon's small mind turned he realized that he was going to be late for work.
"Go do your chores" he snarled before stomping off.
"Harry, dear" Lily said "Move ever so slightly to the left."
Harry did so, just before Vernon's foot crashed through the ceiling.
"DAMN IT!"
With the aid of his new ride-alongs Harry finished his chores in record time. The three decided to find a secluded place to practice magic.
"Here's good Harry." Lily said as they came to a stop in a forest clearing.
"Ah, smell that Muggle free air." Tom declared "Is it not magnificent?"
"Shut it, you twit," Lily snapped "Now, Harry you are progressing nicely, you've already learned several basic charms and your runes are coming along very well."
"Yes, and if Death Eaters come for him, he can impress them with his calligraphy." Tom snarked
"Well what would you teach him?" Lily said
"The arts of combat, how to destroy a squadron of men swiftly and brutally while making it look effortless." Tom said with a flourish.
"Well for that we'd need a wand," Lily said "So until we get one we're stuck with the stuff that works without one."
"Do you guys hear that?" Harry asked
"I don't hear anything" Tom said
"It's like a humming." Harry insisted
"I hear it too." Lily said
That's when the girl fell out of the sky.
Unspeakable James Harris was a legend in his field. If something didn't make sense he was who you called. He had survived over 40 missions, most of which officially never happened. He had faced Wizards, Demons, and creatures so horrible that the mere sight of Them drove ordinary men to complete madness. So naturally when the eggheads in research had located the opening site of the portal they had called him in.
"Sir, the portal has opened" one of the eggheads told him.
"Good," Harris said with a cocky smile "Let the games begin."
He really had no idea what he was in for
"Well that's something you don't see everyday." Tom remarked with a raised eyebrow
"Shut it, you twit," Lily snapped "She could be hurt, Harry check her."
"Yes, Mum." Harry crept toward the sleeping teenager "Are you alright?"
She suddenly leapt awake, pining Harry to a tree with a knife at his throat."
"Who are you, Where am I?" she shouted in his face
Now Harry didn't take very kindly to this intrusion of his personal space, and his magic reacted accordingly. Slinging his assailant away from him and across the clearing.
"Now then, let's talk without the pointy bits of metal, shall we." Harry said while pocketing her knife. "To answer your questions, I'm Harry Potter, and you're just outside Little Whinging."
"Impossible, My father killed you." The girl stared in shock
"The girl looks very familiar." Tom said
"Well as I definitely feel quite alive, he didn't do a very good job of it. Now my turn, who are you?" Harry asked
"I am Emiliana Lestrange, daughter of the greatest dark wizard of all time, Lord Voldemort."
"Well, Fuck." Tom said
I feel the need to point out that Harry is, at this time, five years old. While Emiliana is around 19. So shipping them together is kinda gross. Some of you will probably do it anyway, but I do not endorse it. I know last time I said Dumbledore would be showing up, but the chapter ran long, so he'll be here next time.
As always please review, Fun Fact: Nine out of Ten fictional doctors recommend reviews to cure writer's block.
