Title: Acceptance

Ship: Lee/Kara

Rating: PG – PG-13

Disclaimers: It's not mine. Sadly.

Spoilers: Takes place in mid-Season 3 and is AU. In my 'verse Dee and Apollo have been over for a while and Lee and Kara have done more than just make-out in supply closets.

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Acceptance, 2/4

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Lee looks up as he smells the doc approaching. The man's penchant for cigarettes makes him particularly easy to recognize.

"Kara?"

Her name is hoarse and Lee wishes his lungs would stop hurting. They'd already made him suck down an hour's worth of pure oxygen. Lee doesn't relish the idea of more; the burn of the pure gas is almost worse than the burn of the smoke.

"She'll be all right." Cottle's voice is as hoarse as Lee's but for other reasons. "Damn stubborn girl," he mutters. Lee doesn't miss the note of admiration in his tone. "She lost a lot of blood," he explains. As Kara's CAG Lee's entitled to a full medical brief, but they both know that's not the only reason he's interested.

"Damn near nicked her femoral artery. She coulda bled out in the first few minutes."

"But she's all right?" Until Lee can see her and verify that she's still breathing in and out he needs the other man's assurance.

"Yeah, we gave her a transfusion, stitched up the cut. Wrapped her hand too; that was one hell of a burn."

Closing his eyes, Lee murmurs a silent prayer of thanks to the Gods. Of course the darkness also conjures the image of Kara injured and lying at his feet in the smoke-filled corridor. Kara and-

"How's Kacey?"

"The little girl?" If Cottle's surprised by his interest, he doesn't let it show. "She'll be fine, kids are resilient. Suffered a mild concussion and broke the frak outta her leg. But she'll be fine."

"Her mother?" Lee forces the question out even as Kacey's tiny voice, calling for Kara and her mother, echoes in his head.

"We haven't ID'd her yet, but we haven't found any survivors either." Cottle's eyes hold a bit of sympathy as he shakes his head once. "I'm not optimistic."

Lee isn't either.

"I want to see Kara."

Cottle gestures down the row of curtained-off beds he's just walked through. "Second one from the end. She'll be out for a bit. I gave her the good stuff, to help with the pain."

Lee nods and then hurries away, glad that the chaos makes him anonymous. He shouldn't be rushing to Kara's bedside, but he can't help himself, she could have died today – almost left him for good – again.

Pushing back the curtain, Lee closes it and takes a step towards her before lifting his eyes. His chest aches and Lee knows it isn't from smoke inhalation. He can't stand to see her broken. It's not Kara, this woman before him, so pale and vulnerable. He doesn't like to view her like this because it only reminds him that there are forces out there that can hurt her.

Never mind that he's inflicted his own wounds to her over time. Never mind that she's survived worse. All he knows is that one day her luck will run out. One day, someone or something will hurt Kara Thrace so badly that he'll lose her.

He can't.

Approaching her side cautiously, Lee reaches for her uninjured hand; well, less injured hand. There are a few scrapes along the back of it and what looks to be the start of a bruise below her knuckles.

Holding it gingerly, Lee sinks into the chair next to her, blue eyes locked on her pale, yet peaceful face. It's sad that only injury can bring Kara this kind of peace. Not even when she sleeps is she this unaffected and his heart hurts as he realizes he's known she's been suffering and he's done nothing.

But what could he do? There was Sam and Dee and they're nothing but excuses. Lee wants Kara, has wanted her before they even rescued her from New Caprica. But he's still kept his distance, unwilling to come on too strong and push her away completely.

Releasing a heavy sigh, Lee brushes his lips against the bruise. "You've got to stop doing this, Kara." He knows she can't hear him, which is probably what's loosened his tongue. "I can't lose you again. Do you hear me?"

She doesn't respond. He knew she wouldn't. "Kara, I mean it, please don't-" Swallowing hard, Lee fights back a wave of emotion. "Don't leave me, all right? You can't. You can't because I … I love you. I meant it before and I mean it now."

She's still unresponsive; the drugs Cottle gave her obviously doing their job.

With another heavy sigh, Lee gently places her hand back on the bed, before leaning forward to caress her cheek. "I'm here, Kara."

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"She's yours, Kara. She's yours and mine."

Kara stares at the girl in his arms and her stomach drops out. She can't. It's not … "That thing isn't mine."

"What did you think we did to you on Caprica, Kara?"

He's smiling that sick smile and she wants to scream. But she tried screaming the first few weeks and it didn't work. She tried silence in the weeks after and now she's just resigned to speaking with him in something resembling civility. But it doesn't mean she likes it; or him.

"You didn't do anything. This is a lie." Pointing at the thing in his arms, she accuses, "That is a lie."

"Kara." Leoben's voice is scolding. "How can you say that about our daughter? Your own flesh and blood?"

"No."

Lee jerks awake instantly as he hears Kara's low moan. She hasn't woken yet, but he can see the furrow to her brow, and the light sheen of sweat breaking over her forehead. It's another nightmare.

"No. It's a lie." Her voice is broken and raw. Lee rises and leans over her, resting a gentle hand to her shoulder.

She pulls violently away from his touch and he tries to ignore the wave of hurt he feels. "Kara?"

"She'll be hungry soon." Leoben has placed that thing on the floor and she's staring at Kara with huge, trusting eyes. Didn't anyone explain to this child that trust is earned? "There's food on the table. You're not going to let her starve, are you?"

"Hey! Where are you going?" Kara feels desperation and anger well in her chest and she races up the stairs. Just once she'd like to tackle that sick mother frakker as he's leaving. If she could beat him just once, she'd be free.

"Mama?"

Kara's body tenses at the sound of the voice. It's small and innocent and full of hope and it breaks Kara's heart. Before she can turn and yell, Kara hears something else that freezes her breath in her lungs; a small whimper and a thud.

Whirling, Kara sees Kacey injured, but not from the apartment all those months ago. Now, she's sitting in the middle of the smoking ruins of her tent city, another large gash across her forehead and tears streaming down her dirt smudged cheeks. "Mama?"

"It's okay, baby. I'm coming."

Lee is unsure what to do, but the incessant beeping of the machines monitoring Kara's condition has started to worry him. Her heart rate has sped up and he knows it's getting close to dangerous. Risking her reaction, he places his hand to her shoulder again and shakes her gently. "Kara, wake up. You're just dreaming."

"Kacey!"

With a strangled cry, Kara wakes, hazel eyes clouded with pain and drugs staring at the ceiling. Before she can even register where she is, Kara tries to sit up, the pain in her leg and arm sending the message to her brain that it's a bad idea. Panting from the exertion, she falls back against the mattress, squeezing her eyes shut. "Kacey," she whimpers.

Lee swallows hard. He now has all the puzzle pieces, he can put it together. That sound, that whimpered name, that's what he hears in the middle of the night when Kara wakes and cannot fall back to sleep. All this time her nightmares have been about that small, golden-haired child and Lee had no idea.

What was worse, he hadn't tried to find out.

"She's all right, Kara," he whispers, perching on the edge of her bed.

Forcing her eyes open, Kara tries to blink away her tears and can't do it. Lee catches the first one as it rolls down her cheek and then leaves his hand to rest gently against her face, infusing her with much needed warmth. "Kacey?" she whispers, hoping for answers.

"Her leg's broken and she has a mild concussion, but she's all right." Lee watches as Kara's entire body relaxes at this news. It's as if the tension just flows out of her.

Closing her eyes, Kara can't believe the relief she feels. "Thank the Gods."

Lee continues to study her. She's gotten a little color back, but not enough to satisfy him. Reaching for her hand, he takes it in his own and offers her a small smile as she snaps her eyes open to regard him. She's uncertain what his actions mean, what his presence at her bedside means. She's even more uncertain of her role in this scenario. Is he expecting something?

"You're going to be all right, too." He knows she didn't ask, but he has to repeat it, if only for himself. "You lost a lot of blood, but the doc stitched you up. In a few days, he'll probably let you out of here. But you won't be going near a Viper cockpit anytime soon."

Groaning, Kara stifles the curse that rises to her lips. She's exhausted which is the only reason she doesn't pick a fight with him; well, and the fact that he's right.

Smiling slightly at her reaction, Lee leans forward and brushes his lips to her cheek. "Yes, I'm just a mean old CAG, you remember that."

Opening her eyes, Kara feels her tension rising again. This Lee, the easy-going, carefree one is a different animal and she has no idea how to handle him. Sure, they've been dancing around the issue of "them" for a while now, but until today she's never seen him act this way – as if they're a couple. A real one, not the illicit affair they've been until now.

"Lee." She needs to understand, but Kara already feels sleep beckoning once more and she knows her eyelids will soon lose their fight with gravity.

"How about we argue after you've gotten some more rest?" He's still smiling, that annoying grin that she openly hates, but secretly loves and all she can do is nod.

"Stay?" She barely manages to push the word out before she falls asleep once more.

But Lee hears it and he obeys.

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"Did you find Julia?"

Lee awakens to Kara's whispered voice. Rubbing his eyes, he sits forward and works the kink out of his neck, bringing the room into focus. The perturbed look on Cottle's face and the determined one on Kara's brings him up to speed pretty fast.

"Hey, you're awake."

Startled, Kara turns to face him and Lee notices the look of apprehension playing across her features. Whether it's directed at him or in relation to something else, he doesn't know. But without question, Lee rises out of the chair and sits beside her, wrapping her hand in his. "What's going on?"

"I want to see Kacey." Her jaw is set, her eyes firm and Lee recognizes the look. She's not letting this go.

"I don't see a problem with that." Lee knows taking her side is the path of the least resistance. Glancing over his shoulder, he questions, "Doc?"

Sighing heavily, Cottle doesn't answer either of them, just scowls before reaching into the pocket of his lab coat and pulling out a cigarette. As he walks away muttering under his breath, Lee can't help but let out a small chuckle. "You certainly know how to push his buttons."

He turns back to face her, hoping to she might share his good humor, but the sight that greets him is devastating. Any energy she had has ebbed away and Lee watches as pale and stricken she sinks back into the bed. Closing her eyes, she takes in a few deep breaths and he is once again reminded of how very close he came to losing her.

Without forethought, he takes his hand from hers and runs the backs of his fingers down the side of her cheek. The touch forces her eyes open and there's more fear there, not less. Worried he's making it worse, Lee pulls his hand back to his lap and murmurs, "Sorry."

Kara swallows hard, wishing she could think clearly, wishing she knew what to make of all of this, wishing she could just push aside all the crap of the past year and a half and ask Lee to hold her. But Kara Thrace has never put much stock in wishes.

"Lee?" Her voice is still hoarse and she swallows again. As his blue eyes alight back to her face, she feels her breath catch in her throat at the intensity of emotion staring back at her. Those eyes can render her speechless, defenseless and senseless in seconds – and they just did it again. "What's going on?"

Puzzled, he drops his voice to a whisper. "You don't remember?"

Shaking her head, the movement is a bad idea and Kara grits her teeth against the wave of pain. As it recedes, she corrects him, "I remember the explosion and the fire. What's going on with us? Why are you here?"

As his heart thuds painfully against his rib cage, Lee tries to conjure the best answer to that question. "Do you want me to go?" he asks, praying she won't say yes, but needing more time to form a response.

If possible, her features pale further. "No." Searching his face for any clue, she adds in a whisper, "I just want to know where we stand."

Sighing, Lee nods once and then, tentatively, covers her hand with his own once more. "I'm tired, Kara." She doesn't move, doesn't react and he takes that as encouragement to continue. "I'm tired of running and pretending. I'm tired of missing you, tired of hurting you."

Kara can't speak and she's surprised she can still hear Lee over the pounding of her own heart. She can't believe he's willing to lay his feelings bear before her again. He's said similar things before, but it's always Kara who pulls away. She won't give in; she can't believe the Gods have deemed her worthy enough to get another chance.

Edging closer, Lee's hand is back to her cheek and she turns into the touch, nuzzling her lips against his palm. The movement, so sweet and affectionate is almost his undoing and gathering his courage, he finally manages, "Tell me you want this." Kara's eyes flutter open once more, her hazel orbs meeting his and he continues, "Tell me you want us."

He can't make it any plainer and Kara knows it. Holding his gaze with her own, she moves her free hand up his chest and curls it around the back of his neck, bringing his mouth within inches of hers. "More than anything," she whispers before crossing that last tiny distance and pressing her mouth to his.

Lee is stunned for all of a second. He's kissed Kara before of course, kissed her and more in the past months, but he's never kissed her knowing that they're free; free to be together. The change is palpable. Her soft, full lips possess his with passion and tenderness that, when combined, speak more loudly to him of her feelings than words ever could.

Breathing her in, Lee needs to deepen the kiss, needs to confirm for himself that this is real. He runs his tongue lightly against her lower lip and Kara's moan is all the encouragement he needs. Coaxing her mouth open, he slides his tongue into the warmth, exploring with abandon. Kara's passion matches his own and he has to pull her closer, his arm wrapping around her shoulders and bringing her flush to his chest.

Kara holds on for dear life as the kiss continues, both of them stealing quick breaths, hesitant to let go and break the spell. She can't let go of Lee again. She knows it will break her.

The loud clearing of someone's throat startles them both and they break apart swiftly, unaware of the flush to their cheeks and their kiss-swollen lips. Glancing towards the room's entrance both sets of eyes alight to the doctor holding a small girl in his arms.

"You have a visitor," he tells them, before stepping into the room and approaching Kara's side.

"Kara?"

The sound of Kacey's voice as she recognizes her friend cuts Kara deep. Lee watches in awe as her face lights up into the biggest smile as the little girl gets closer. She easily disengages her good arm from Lee and reaches out to the doctor who gingerly settles Kacey onto Kara's lap, making sure to straighten out the child's cast leg into a comfortable position.

Lee can't stop looking at them. Kara's eyes have overflowed with tears of what he's sure are happiness as Kacey leans her head against Kara's chest, her small arm snaking its way around Kara's waist. Kara gently strokes her back, resting her cheek on the child's curly hair. As she begins to hum, Lee feels his heart swell.

The peace he'd seen before, when Kara was sleeping is replaced with a deeper contentment the moment Kacey is placed in her arms. Comforting this child, or any child, seems to be part of what Kara was born to do and Lee has the briefest flash of her holding their baby in her arms.

"Mama?" Kacey's hesitant voice pulls Lee's and Kara's attention to her immediately. Meeting his gaze over the child's head, Kara's wide eyes implore him silently for help.

Knowing there is not much he can do, Lee quickly adjusts his position, moving to sit beside Kara, his arm around her shoulders. As she shifts, pressing herself into his side, she meets Kacey's teary gaze and brushed a few stray curls from the child's face.

"Do you remember the explosion, baby?" she asks, her voice hoarse. As Kacey nods, Kara continues. Lee squeezes her shoulder for support and he feels her sink a little more securely into his side. "Well, your mama, she wasn't able to leave fast enough. And she-" Kara's voice falters. Kacey has lost a mother and Kara has lost a friend. She doesn't know how to do this.

Lee can see her distress and he doesn't blame her. One look at Kacey's trusting gaze and he's already a puddle of goo on the decking. Those big eyes look between Kara and Lee and back again, waiting for an answer.

Pressing his lips to Kara's temple, Lee places his mouth at her ear, and whispered softly, "You can do this."

Taking the words for the encouragement they are, Kara nods slightly and offers Kacey a watery smile. "Your mama didn't make it, Kacey. She's not coming back."

Still uncertain, Kacey pushes the point. "Mama? Where?"

"She's gone, Kacey." Kara's voice is trembling and she swallows several times in an effort to get it under control. "She's not coming back, sweetie."

"Mama be with Kacey." The little girl is adamant and Kara doesn't know what to tell her. "Mama!" As she calls for her dead mother, tears welling in her eyes when the woman doesn't come, Kacey begins to struggle on Kara's lap. Injured, she isn't much of a match for the two-year-old, but even as Lee tries to help steady the girl, Kara rebuffs him.

Glancing over Kacey's head, Kara's eyes lock with his and she shakes her head a just a bit. He backs off as she requests.

Kara's only reaction is to hold the little one tighter, rocking her gently back and forth and whispering nonsense words to her. Lee watches them both, his own helplessness almost swallowing him whole. Kara's tears are streaking her cheeks and so he just pulls her tighter into his side as she tries to quiet the child.

Eventually, Kacey cries herself to sleep, exhaustion and pain medication a heady combination. As her breathing evens out, Kara's body relaxes a bit. Pressing another kiss to the girl's forehead, she finally turns to Lee, her wide hazel eyes brimming with more tears. "Lee," she breathes before burying her face into his shoulder, her body shaking with silent sobs.

"You'll be okay," he murmurs, his lips whispering against her forehead. With his other arm he reaches across the little girl and holds them both, wanting nothing more than to make Kara feel safe and wanted. "You both will."

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