Flawed

Everyone has flaws. No-one is perfect; no-one faultless.

He had made a very bad error of judgement. A man had died because of his decision. Many men had.

The Doctor was hovering by the TARDIS console, brooding. They were flying through the vortex. He wasn't ready for another trip just yet. Rose had respected that, disappeared back to her room.

He sighed, fiddling with a few levers, keeping her steady.

"Doctor?" A voice called timidly. He turned to her, his face that of defeat and utter disappointment.

"We did good. We beat 'em." She said, trying to smile, yet failing at the half-agonized, half-exasperated face.

"You did good." He corrected, in an almost congratulatory tone. He was serious again, "I got it wrong. That private. That wonderfully human private. Ryan was brilliant. And I got him killed." The emotion cracked through his voice. "I told him to retreat. I should have seen that that was what they wanted, Rose, but I didn't! How couldn't I, I-" His self-hating speech was stopped at the surprise of Rose wrapping his arms around her. He hesitated, before wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"How can you blame yourself?" She whispered. "The general should have listened to you in the first place. You said not to send them out. He got Ryan killed." He buried his head into her hair.

"Watching them. All of them. I killed the Rasthens, Rose. They were the last of their kind and I killed them." His voice was agonized and a tear rolled down his cheek. Rose felt it as it fell onto her cheek and looked up to see many following the first. She wiped them away gently, caressing his face lightly.

"It's not your fault. You didn't know the engines were full of cheap fuel."

"Exactly! I should've done!" He yelled. His voice fell to a cracked whisper. "I killed children."

"You tried to save them."

"I should've tried harder."

"You couldn't." She said shortly. "You nearly died. Do you know how much that would've hurt me?" The angry words were out of her mouth quicker than she could've stopped them.

The Doctor opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again.

"I didn't think- I was trying to-" He couldn't utter a coherent sentence. How could he not have thought about how Rose would feel if he was being so reckless.

Suddenly, he knew.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think. Watching them...it was like my own people falling. I had to go to them, out of instinct. I couldn't stand there and watch them burn when I could do something. The destruction of Gallifrey, the Time Lords and the Daleks only lasted a second, but that was one of the longest seconds of my life." Rose's response was only to hold him tighter.

"I guessed that." She murmured in his ear. Her breath ghosted his face and made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

"And do you know what? You might hate yourself for what you've done. Everything you've done wrong. And I know I'm not going to convince you to do anything but. But let me tell you something. I forgive you. I always have. I always will." The Doctor pulled away to look at her as she continued, not letting his gaze drop from her eyes.

"Everyone has flaws, Doctor. No-one is perfect; no-one faultless." The Doctor couldn't find anything to say to that, no witty remark, no serious comment. So he settled for her name instead, almost caressing the word with his almost silent breath.

"Rose." He felt the shiver run down her spine.

"Yeah?" Her breath was shaky, with anticipation or nerves, the Doctor didn't know. He smiled and pressed his lips to hers gently in a chaste kiss, letting his forehead rest against hers as he pulled away.

"Thank you." His voice was also wobbly, though Rose detected a slight hint of huskiness. He was just as surprised as she was at what he'd just done.

"You're welcome." She half-laughed in shock.

"You're brilliant, you know that? Absolutely fantastic. And I love y-that." He corrected himself, inwardly berating his mouth for almost letting the words slip out.

"You what?" Rose asked, her eyes wide.

"I said I love that. I love the fact that you're so brilliant." He told her, nodding more to himself than to her, sniffing and rubbing his nose.

"Really? And I love the fact that when you lie, you sniff and rub your nose." Rose teased, her tongue poking out of her mouth ever so slightly.

"I do not!" He protested, again sniffing and rubbing her nose. She raised her eyebrows at him.

"So maybe I do." He conceded, glaring at his hand.

"So what did you mean to say? The first time around?" She asked softly, nudging his nose gently with hers. He swallowed visibly, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly.

"I was going to say that I-" the TARDIS chose just then to veer off course out of the vortex and crash-land with a hard jolt, sending The Doctor and Rose flying off to the side of the console room.

"What?" He spluttered, jumping to his feet and dragging the console screen to face him.

"What?" He exclaimed, prodding the screen to give him answers. He scanned it.

"What?" His voice was low, dangerous.

Rose sighed, 'Here we go again'. She thought. Just as he was close to letting her in...she sighed inwardly. Sometimes, she really hated being in a time machine.