Disclaimer-I don't own Life with Derek, nor was any copyright infringement intended.


Pills

I didn't know what Lizzie was on, but I knew it was bad. I didn't know why either, but I had a pretty good idea. I heard her sneaking in to Derek's room a couple of nights in a row.

She would come to my room after sometimes, telling me how sorry she was, and that she was a bad person, but wouldn't tell me what she had done that was so bad.

Until yesterday. She came into my room right after school, crying her eyes out. She handed me a baggie full of little white pills. "What are these?" I asked her.

"Valium," she replied, staring at the floor. "I'm trying to stop, I really am, but it hurts so much."

"Why did you even start?" I asked, putting my arms around her and letting her cry.

She slowly told me everything, in between sobs and hiccups. She had started to get a small crush on Derek when we had first moved in, but had tried to bury it, telling herself that he was her stepbrother, and older than her, and if he was going to be interested in anyone, it would have been me. After a while, it was just a dull ache, and she ignored it, until he taught her how to play hockey. Then it had come back in full force. She had told him about a month later, and he had kissed her. I was ready to kill him at that point, because she was just a little girl and Derek should know better, but she stopped me, telling me that it was pointless, she was just as at fault as he was. That was why she had started taking the Valium. Some kid at school had given them to her once, and she realized she didn't hate what she had become as much. She talked the kid who gave them to her into telling her where he got them from, and had started going to get them herself. That was what she spend her allowance on every week. I couldn't believe it, my 14 year old sister, already an addict. It explained so much about her lately though. She was always so out of it.

"Are you going to tell mom?" I asked.

She looked up at me horrified. "No! Please don't tell her! I don't think I could handle it. She'd be so disappointed in me."

"Yeah, but you need help Liz."

"That's why I came to you, Casey. You're my sister; you'll help me, right?"

I sighed. "I can try, but I honestly think that you need more help than I can give you."

"Can we please just try this? If I'm not over it in a month, then you can tell mom."

"Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise."

That night I heard Derek's door open and close quietly. I was tempted to get out of bed and go stop it, but she had told me that she would handle it. Five minutes later I heard his door open again, and Lizzie came into my room. I lifted up my covers and let her climb into bed with me.

"How'd it go?" I asked.

"Horribly. He hates me."

"He should hate himself. He's almost 18, he should know better."

She nodded, but didn't say anything. I thought she was asleep until she spoke again. "Casey, can I please have one? I just need one to sleep. I promise I'll quit tomorrow."

I sighed. "You say that now, but then tomorrow it'll be, 'just one more, tomorrow is better,' and it'll continue on and on."

"No, I promise it won't. I just need to sleep. I'm getting better. I ended things with Derek, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did," I agreed. I pulled the bag out of my night table drawer and gave her one. She swallowed it without any water. "Goodnight, Liz."

"Night Casey," she replied.

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I glanced over at the clock. 3:15, where'd she go? I thought. She's probably in the bathroom, just calm down. I waited ten minutes and when she wasn't back yet, I decided to go check on her. She wasn't in the bathroom, so I put my ear against Derek's door. I heard muffled whispers; it sounded like her voice. I shook my head and went back to bed. If she won't help herself, I can't help her.

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"Just what do you think you're doing?" I asked Derek the next morning when we were in the bathroom. "She's 14!"

"I'm well aware of her age, thanks though."

"You should know better."

"She keeps coming back to me."

"You could say no."

"When have I ever said no?"

I hit him. "You're such an ass. How can you live with yourself?"

He shrugged. "It's not too hard." He walked out of the bathroom, passing Lizzie on the way. He raised an eyebrow at her and she blushed.

"You know, it's hard to take your request for help seriously when you don't even try to help yourself," I told her.

She looked at her feet. "Then don't help me. Maybe I don't deserve help."

"I'm telling mom."

"Please don't! Look, you guys are almost out of the house, it'll stop then."

"Will it? What if Derek doesn't leave? What if you get pregnant?"

"We're being safe. Just, please, stay out of it. I'm sorry that I ever involved you."

"Don't you want to stop? Isn't that what you told me?"

"Yeah, I want to stop, but it hurts too badly."

I shook my head at her. "Maybe you two deserve each other. You both know how wrong it is and you won't stop."

"Yeah, well, welcome to hell, right? Sinning and knowing it's a sin and doing it anyways, that's hell, right?"

"There's no way you're my sister. My sister wouldn't have done this to herself. You're just pretending to be her."

She shrugged and didn't meet my eyes.

"I'm washing my hands of this whole business. When you're serious about wanting help, come see me. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink."

She shrugged again. "When I'm thirsty, I'll come find you. Thanks anyway."

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I could hear her sneaking into his room almost every night now. She got more and more out of it, and I knew she was taking more and more Valium. Before too long, mom even noticed it. Lizzie, of course, denied anything was wrong.

I left for college, Derek stayed put. Lizzie showed up at my dorm one day. I didn't even ask how she had gotten there, just let her inside. Apparently, she had almost OD'ed and was finally ready for help. It probably had something to do with the fact that Derek had finally moved out. Whatever it takes though. As long as he didn't come near her again. I'm worried about holidays. Maybe I'll make her stay in my room.


A/N-This was inspired by the Jewel song "Little Sister." I was going to do a songfic, but decided against it. Not too sure how much I like this one, but I always think that about my fics. So, how about you tell me if it's okay.