Before Emma was even cognizant of where she was, she threw the car in park. Exiting, she slammed the door behind her and headed out into the vast wilderness. Solace. A place close to her heart. She ran and ran, not sure what she was looking for, she headed deep into the woods, running from everything that was crushing her.
About two years ago...
After months of fighting, bickering, sexual tension, innuendo, finally they'd cut through the bullshit. When they'd realized that they both wanted more than a quick fuck, he'd asked her out on a date. Told her he wanted to court her properly.
"Where are we going?"
"Solace, Swan. Now have patience, you'll see soon enough."
She was barely able to sit still, fidgeting nervously as she waited to arrive at their destination. She was elated to spend time with him outside of work, and away from prying eyes.
He chuckled at her, then reached over and squeezed her knee, "Relax, we're going somewhere peaceful, quiet, just us."
"I can't relax. I don't know… I'm just… happy."
Killian pulled the car over, then turned in his seat. "Aye love, me too." Reaching out to caress her cheek he leaned forward and kissed her gently.
"It's kind of a new feeling at my age, to be happy and excited like a little kid."
"You say it like you're eighty years old."
"I say it like I was a kid who didn't get happy and excited for too much."
"Why's that, lass. Spoiled brat? Stoic teen?"
"Foster kid." Emma held her breath and waited for his reaction. She fell a little bit in love with him the moment she saw no pity in his eyes, just a mutual understanding.
She didn't recognize where she was, she'd strayed from the path; it wasn't called the Forest City for nothing, there were thousands of trails, most of them well traversed. It was freezing outside, and drab clouds had begun to roll in. The wind whipped around her, and she cursed under her breath as she looked at the sky. It was going to pour, but what did it matter. She was dying anyhow, maybe hypothermia would take her sooner.
About two years ago...
"It's beautiful, Killian." There was awe in her voice, and admiration on her face. "How'd you find it?"
"This is my first time to this specific place. Have you never been hiking in the Forest City? All of the trails have little hidden oases like this."
Emma shook her head, admittedly she didn't get to the great outdoors as much as she probably should. It was absolutely breathtaking.
"I try to get out to hike at least once a month. With our job, sometimes I just need the solace of nature around me. You must make sure to always stay on the path though, Swan."
"Oh, yeah. Why's that?"
"Rumor has it there's a portal somewhere in this forest and it leads to a land with all manner of creatures, monsters, and supernatural beings."
"What is wrong with you?" she laughed. "And here I thought you were an intelligent, well balanced, healthy, red-blooded, male. Now I find out you believe in the boogie man?"
"Oi! I'm all those things, I just have an appreciation for other worldly beings, never say never."
"What is your proof they exist?"
"What is your proof they don't?"
"Fair point," she conceded.
"Plus, you yourself are a siren, what more proof should I require?"
Emma shivered uncontrollably as the rain began to cascade down in sheets. Her hair clung to her forehead and her clothes became heavy. She might've felt cleansed had she not been told mere hours before that she had a poison running rampant inside her body. Spotting an enclosure in a huge rock, Emma jogged toward it and took cover.
About two years ago...
"Didn't you check the weather forecast?"
"Of course I did!" Killian answered offendedly. He opened the pack he'd carried up and pulled out a nylon bag. "Let it never be said that Killian Jones is unprepared," he gloated as he pitched quite possibly the smallest tent Emma had ever seen.
"We're staying?"
"We're not walking out in this weather. This darling is a flash flood. We're on high ground so shelter in this one man tent is all we require. We won't flood up here."
"Well it's gonna have to be a one man and one woman tent, now."
"After you, milady," he extended his hand and bowed low.
She snagged his hand and pulled him inside the tent giggling the whole time. It was a crowded affair as Killian dug through his bag of tricks. He pulled out a small battery operated lantern, then set to work rolling out a sleeping bag. They took their shoes off and sat opposite each other.
"Are you a little cold, Swan?"
She looked up at him to see he was leering at her breasts. Her nipples were freezing to the point of painful, and no doubt poking through her soaked cotton shirt. "This was all part of your plan, wasn't it? Proper courting, my ass."
Killian licked his lips and continued to appraise her, clothes clinging to her every curve, goosebumps lining her soft skin, lips begging to be tasted. "That would be very bad form, love," he whispered, though his devil may care grin belied his words.
"What are you waiting for then, Jones? You gonna get your ass over here and warm me up, or let me freeze to death?"
He only needed to be asked once, pouncing on her like prey to his predator.
What she wouldn't give to have that one man tent now. And she'd give double for Killian. She shivered as the wind continued to wail and the torrential rains pelted down. As the adrenaline of running through the forest began to wear off, the emotions began to creep in. I'm dying, she thought. But if she were honest with herself, her spirit had been slowly dying since Killian had disappeared. Trying to accept that he was gone forever, dead, had sent her spiraling into a hallucination riddled existence where she was now seeing him. Maybe this is for the best. Tears welled up in her eyes and she wondered if they were tears of sadness, or tears from the thought that maybe she'd see him again after death.
She laid down on the sodden ground, unwilling to try to find her way out. Out of the forest, out of her dark reality… unwilling to fight against the inevitable. Emma curled in on herself and wished for the world to swallow her up. Sobs trembled through her whole body as she let loose her emotions, all of them. Long, painful cries flowed from her as she unabashedly released everything she'd held in for the past year.
Anger at Killian for leaving her in this world alone.
Heartbreak at having lost the only love she'd ever known.
Hatred at the cancer that was going to ultimately consume her.
She cried until there was nothing left but the harsh, jagged breaths that came from being cried out to exhaustion. She held tightly to the pieces of memory on her chain, letting the bite of the metals pressed into her palm serve as a reminder of what she'd lost.
Emma immediately knew when peaceful sleep had come for her, that she was dreaming, when she heard his gruff lilt scolding her for not taking care of herself. She didn't even care if it was a dream.
"Killian," she murmured, "I miss you." He scooped her up, and she felt like she was home. She needed to tell him so much before he left again. "I love you, Killian."
Emma slowly blinked into consciousness, eyes opening and focusing on unfamiliar surroundings. "What the hell? Where am I?" She looked around the small area from her supine position on the bed. There was a fire burning in a small fireplace, a small table with two chairs, a refrigerator, a couch, and a dimly lit lantern off in a corner. The windows were all covered so she couldn't tell what time of day it was. Deciding that the need to use the bathroom and get a glass of water outweighed the dull headache she was fighting, she rose from the bed.
After tripping over her clumsy feet on the way to and from the bathroom, she made her way to the tiny kitchen area. She grabbed a glass from the cupboard, filled it from the tap after letting it run for a minute, and drank deeply. Her stomach growled loudly in response to the icy water. Emma felt a bit like Goldilocks, she was invading on whoever lived here, whoever had so kindly pulled her in from the woods after she'd conked out.
It was obvious the place had been occupied recently, perhaps there was fresh food. Emma rummaged around through the few cupboards, to no avail. Since there was no porridge cooking for this Goldilocks, she made her way to the refrigerator. Placing her hand to pull it open, she paused, it felt like an invasion to open a stranger's fridge.
About a year and a half ago...
"You look good in my shirt, love. Perhaps you should start dressing that way everyday?"
Emma was bent over his refrigerator, in his shirt and nothing else, looking for something to snack on. All the activity they'd been engaging in had her ravenous. "I'm starving," she said, ignoring the compliment save for the blush it'd put on her cheeks.
"Me too," he growled grabbing her around the waist and pulling her against his hard body. He nipped and sucked at her neck roughly, "I'll always be starving for you."
Emma moaned as he caressed her body with his hands and mouth. "Baby, you can have your fill anytime, but I was actually speaking of food right now."
"I know, darling." Killian picked her up and sat her on the counter. "Allow me to prepare you something."
Emma sighed morosely as yet another memory assaulted her. Bitter, bittersweet memories, mourning, and impending death, how much longer did the doctor say I had? Emma thought. At least now she wouldn't have to wonder how long it would take to get over Killian. The answer was she'd never be over him, not until the day she died, and that was now remarkably closer.
Her stomach growled again, pulling her from her well deserved melancholy. Looking at her watch, which told her it was three in the afternoon, she realized she'd slept almost an entire day. It'd been even longer since she'd eated, and there was no way she wanted to try to venture back to her car without eating a little something first. Surely this stranger who'd brought her in wouldn't mind her nibbling a little something before she took her leave.
Opening the door, Emma screamed and slammed it shut. "What the fuck!" Peering inside once more she confirmed what she'd seen the first time. Piled inside the refrigerator was nothing but bag after bag of blood. Closing it quietly, Emma turned and tiptoed to the front door. Macabre thoughts of a psycho killer harvesting her organs and drinking her blood swam through her head as she inched toward the door. Who knew if this crazy was still in the cabin.
"Goddammit!" she muttered when she tripped again. All pretense was forgotten when she regained her balance, yanking the front door open, she took off running into the forest. Emma didn't try to glean any sense of direction as the only thought in her head was self preservation?
Sharp branches caught at her clothes and scratched her skin as she continued running. Each heaving breath became more painful than the last the further she ran. She was running out of steam.
"Ouch!" Emma stumbled to the ground after her foot came down on a rock buried under the foliage. Falling to the ground she grabbed her ankle in pain. "Fuck, what the fuck else? Huh? What else you wanna throw my way?" she screamed toward the darkening evening sky. Picking herself up, she continued limping away from the cabin of horrors. With no idea where she was heading, shooting ankle pain, the elements setting in, not to mention her already established problems, Emma was about to give up. "Cell phone!" she exclaimed, digging in the pocket of her jacket.
"What the hell?" Looking down at herself it dawned on Emma that she wasn't wearing her jacket anymore, or even the same clothes she'd had on yesterday. Even more confusing was the fact that they were her clothes, just not the same ones. I've completely lost it, I've gone off the deep end. Emma Swan, loony tune.
She tried to cheer herself up as she continued to limp on what was surely a severely swollen ankle, by telling herself that her phone probably wouldn't have a signal anyway. She walked for what felt like miles when she came to a stream and sat down next to it. Looking at her reflection she decided to drink the water, "What's the worst that'll happen? Already dying, may as well drink up." She scooped the water and drank to soothe her parched throat.
"This is the end," Emma said, deciding she could be as dramatic as she damn well pleased. "I'm tired, hurt, cold, sick, sad, hungry, lost… alright universe. You've won. I give up."
Laying back on the damp forest floor she looked up at the trees, she could see bits of the dark sky peeking through. A few tears welled in her eyes, and she chuckled at the irony. Usually giving up meant not caring anymore. Apparently Emma Swan still cared. Spotting the first star of the evening she focused intently, "Star light, star bright, First star I see tonight; I wish I may, I wish I might, Have the wish I wish tonight."
Squeezing her eyes tightly, Emma made a wish.
"What'd you wish for, love?"
Inhaling audibly, Emma jumped in her spot. She hadn't heard that voice in… well since she'd dreamed it a few hours ago. "Dammit. I wished it wrong." She jumped again at the loud laughter that came from him. He seemed so real.
"How so?"
"Well, I wished to be with Killian, uh, with you."
"And here I am."
"I meant to wish to be with you forever, after I die. Not in dreams and hallucinations."
"When you die?"
Emma shook her head at the surreal feeling. "I cannot believe I am sitting here having a conversation with the hallucination form of the love of my life. Or… have I died? Am I dead? Did the psycho from the house of horrors kill me already? Did I die last night in the freezing rain? Are you here to guide me to the next dimension or realm or whatever it's called?"
The hallucination laughed at her again, and she found herself laughing along with the familiar, and sorely missed sound.
"Maybe I can answer some of your questions, lass. Where to start?" He rubbed his palm along the scruff of his chin like he always did when he was contemplating something. "First off, no, you're not dead. I am not here to lead you to another plain of existence or anything like that. And I do believe I am the psycho from the house of horrors, as you called it."
Emma sat up quickly, "What do you mean?"
"What if I told you I am your Killian, and I am real?"
"I'd say my imagination is a cruel fucking asshole."
"I'm not from your imagination, Swan."
"Stop it! Only the real Killian gets to call me that." The hollow feeling in her chest and heart ached now. Only he had ever called her Swan like that. This was torturous, having her own imagination play tricks on her. "I've been seeing you for the last year, you've never said a word, the real Killian never would have done that." Emma pinched herself hard, trying to wake herself, or snap out of the haze.
"You can pinch yourself all you want, but I assure you, you're not dreaming, and you are not hallucinating."
"Prove it."
Emma sat frozen as he walked toward her then sat down next to her. He slipped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his side. She relished the feeling of him, she could smell him, this was by far the realest of any encounter she'd had with him over the past year.
"Would you be able to feel me? Smell me?"
"Maybe," Emma murmured. "The mind is a powerful entity."
"Then perhaps this," he said holding her bracelet out to her, "I know you're wearing the matching necklace, my necklace."
Emma jumped up, and Killian followed suit. Sure any rendering of Killian would know about the necklace and bracelet, her mind conjured him. But how the hell was he holding the bracelet that was on her wrist. Automatically reaching for her wrist, she realized it wasn't there anymore. She stared at him with wide eyes.
"Please don't be afraid of me."
"I'm not afraid, I'm just confused. Where did you get that?"
He reached out to fasten the bracelet around her wrist. "It fell off where I found you passed out and half frozen last evening."
Emma hesitantly reached out to touch his face, "Is it really you?"
"Aye Swan, in the flesh... so to speak."
"Killian?" She threw her arms around his neck and cried, but the tears weren't of sadness this time. She cried tears of joy as she rained kisses on his face.
"What… how are you here?"
"I was-"
"I don't care. I don't care how you're here. I'm just glad you're here."
"Me too, love. I'm sorry it took me so long."
Taking her by the hand he started to lead her back the way she'd come from, then stopped. "You're hurt, allow me." Killian picked her up bridal style so she wouldn't have to walk on her bad ankle.
"It's really you, isn't it?" she whispered.
"Aye."
Emma broke down into sobs. "I… Killian… where have you been? Why did you leave me?"
"I'll explain everything. First, let's get you warmed up."
She hit his chest in frustration as a new pain came over her. "I'm… I'm dying. I finally found you, and now I'm dying. The universe wanted to kick me one last time."
"Emma, calm down, I've got you, you're not going to die out here. There is much we need to talk about. Working yourself up won't help." Killian looked into her eyes, beseeched her, "Rest, love, I'll wake you when we arrive."
She was out before she could argue about needing to stay awake so he wouldn't disappear again.
~CS~
When she woke next, she was in yet another unfamiliar place. "Killian?" she called out into the darkness.
"I'm here, Swan."
She looked across the small room to where he sat at a desk reading.
"I thought it was all a dream again."
"I assure you, I am not a dream. Possibly a nightmare, but not a dream."
"What?"
"Never mind, lass. I know you have many questions, and I have a lot of explaining to do. I want to attempt to tell you everything right now, that way you have all the information before you make a decision."
"A decision about what?"
"About whether or not you wish to stay with me."
"I'll stay with you forever. My forever just isn't that long anymore… I'm dying."
"Why do you keep saying you're dying?"
"Because I am. I was diagnosed with stage four brain cancer the day I wandered into the woods. I don't have long, but I've already decided, I don't care how short the time, I want to be with you."
"Oh, Emma, no my love, I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you. That you had to receive that news on your own."
"It was harder to lose you. So no matter what you have to say, I'm not going to change my mind."
"Please let me tell you everything before you decide. I don't want to get my hopes up if you decide you can't bear to be with me."
Emma rolled her eyes at him, "Not gonna happen."
"Be that as it may, allow me to put my eternal soul at ease."
"Well at least come keep me warm?" she asked, patting the empty bed.
A pained expression crept across Killian's face. "After we talk."
"Okay," Emma agreed, pulling the blanket snugger to her body. "Have you met someone else, Killian? Were you with someone else this whole time?" She knew the questions seemed out of the blue, but he had left for a year, reappeared, hadn't so much as kissed her, wouldn't sit with her, and was acting altogether odd.
"Of course not! I love only you, I'm just not sure you should love me anymore."
"No one tells me who I should or should not love, Killian Jones, not even you."
He chuckled at that, and Emma smiled in return, glad to see him a bit more at ease.
"Okay, so enough with the cloak and dagger act, just tell me what you need to tell me."
"Christ you make it sound simple." Killian ran his hand through his hair nervously and bounced the ball of his foot.
"It is simple!" she coaxed with a hopeful smile, trying to convince him to tell her whatever secret he thought he'd had to hide for a year.
"I'm a vampire."
Emma laughed, not just a little, but really bellowed. She clutched at her stomach when it started to ache. "Spectacular ice breaker, now go ahead."
Killian threw his hands in the air, unsurprised that she didn't believe that curve ball. "Right then. The day that you stayed home sick while Mary Margaret, David, and I went hiking, I was attacked."
Emma's laughter stopped when he unceremoniously plunged into his story.
"We were heading up toward Cartographer's Bluff, I was in front of the lovebirds, for obvious reasons, when I saw movement off in the distance. I followed thinking maybe it was a deer or elk. That's when it happened. I had no idea what it was. It attacked and dragged me away."
Silent tears slid down Emma's cheeks as she listened to Killian.
"I don't know how long I was unconscious for, but when I came to the first time, I was overwhelmed with fire coursing through my body. I was disoriented, scared, and angry. I was in and out of consciousness and each time there was a woman who told me I'd be okay. When I finally emerged from whatever had taken hold over me, I was different. I didn't know how at first, but I knew I was different. Eventually the woman revealed herself again, she told me she'd teach me everything about our kind."
"Your kind?"
Killian eyeballed her, silently pleading with her to let him finish, lest he chicken out.
"Sorry, continue," she said softly.
"She taught me how to survive, took me into her home, this home. Eventually she wanted more from me, she wanted things I couldn't give. I told her about you, hoping she'd understand that while I appreciated all she'd done for me, my heart belonged to you.
She became enraged. Said she couldn't believe I would choose a mortal over her, after all she'd done for me. After creating me. When I asked her what she meant, she told me she'd made me, she had wanted a companion after being alone for decades."
Emma's breath was stuck in her throat as Killian's story took root, as she began to understand exactly what he was telling her.
"I went into my own tailspin of rage, I couldn't believe what she was telling me, that she'd selfishly taken and changed my life to suit hers. That she'd irrevocably changed my future, our future, Swan. When she threatened you, I had no other choice."
"What choice," Emma asked hesitantly when Killian paused.
"I… I killed her, Emma." He looked at her in earnest, willing her to accept the truth of his words. "She left me no choice, I couldn't stand the thought of your life ending."
"Oh, Killian," Emma cried. She stood up, not caring that he wanted to wait until after she'd heard him out. She couldn't handle seeing him in pain any longer. Kneeling on the floor in front of where he sat in his chair, she reached a hand up to run through his hair. "Killian, it's okay."
"I'm a murderer, Swan. Whether she deserved it or not, whether all of them deserved it or not, I am a murderer."
"I don't care, I love you, no matter what."
"I love you, too." Killian slid from his chair kneeling as she was and closed his arms around her waist.
Emma comforted him as he buried his head in the crook of her neck. "It was you, wasn't it? It was you who drained all my murderers? Is that what you meant by all of them?"
"Aye, lass. Still sharp as ever." Killian stood up, lifted Emma and walked to the bed. Tucking her beneath the blanket, he stayed atop it, and laid his head in her lap. "It was the evening after I killed her, three months into my new life, and the urge to see you was so strong it physically hurt. I closed my eyes and I remember thinking about what it was like to hold you, what you felt like, smelled like, then suddenly I wasn't in my room anymore. When I opened my eyes, there you were. I didn't know how I'd done it, but I'd transported to you. I heard you say my name, Swan. It was the best moment of my new existence. Then I saw you collapse, I heard the pain in your voice, and it became the worst."
She'd missed this, laying together, touching, talking. This was by far the strangest conversation they'd ever had, but she was okay with it, she was just overjoyed to have him back. Emma had been running her fingers through his hair, but stopped abruptly. "Is that why you stayed away for so long?"
"It is."
"Why did you come back?" she asked out of genuine curiosity, before resuming her ministrations.
"Because I'm weak. Once I learned I could transport, I started studying your cases at the station during the night. The first time you saw me was at the crime scene of my maker's last victim. For all her evil, it's a smart way to live. I decided I'd wait for you to solve your cases, then take your murderers. They would be condemned anyhow. I never meant for you to spot me. I selfishly needed to see you, and there were many times that I did, and you never had a clue. But then there were those times that you did, the last time was the hardest. I watched you that night after you drank and cried yourself to sleep, and I vowed it was the last time. That was until you quite literally showed up in my neck of the woods, intent on freezing to death while passed out in the pouring rain."
"Is that how I ended up in my own clothes? You transported home to get them."
He nodded his head with a grin on his face. Home. Emma was catching on quickly and adapting quite easily.
"What about Scarlet, was that you assisting?"
Killian chuckled, "Yes, that was me. I would love to see that shiny commendation you earned."
"I didn't earn it, you did. David and I fought for weeks about who did and didn't take Scarlet out. I finally gave up when he half jokingly threatened to 5150 me."
"Sorry, love, I was just trying to keep you safe."
"I know," she spoke softly. "So…"
"Ask away, I want you to know everything before you choose. Anything goes."
Emma had thousands of thoughts swimming around in her head. The problem was, when there are that many thoughts, and so much that is not understood it is hard to even know where to begin. She tried to sort through them to ask the pertinent ones first. "What do you need to survive?"
"I wasn't joking when I said I am vampire. Surprisingly many of our television shows got enough of the bits and pieces correct, must be some vamps in Hollywood." Killian stood up and walked toward her, then held his hand out.
Taking his hand without hesitation, Emma let him lead her to a closet. When he opened the door there was a ladderwell. Looking at Killian's calm face, cocked eyebrow, and inquisitive eyes, she read in his expression the request for her to trust him. And she did, implicitly. He climbed up first and Emma followed.
"Hey, my ankle doesn't hurt anymore, do you have magical healing powers?"
When they emerged in the room above, Killian closed the small hatch in the floor. "I'm not sure I'd call what I have magical, but yes, I fixed you up."
"That's a pretty handy skill," she commented as she looked around. She was surrounded by a place she'd been before. "So this is what I tripped on like fifty times earlier today," Emma said, pointing to the handle of the hatch door they'd just come through. "The house of horrors," she murmured, eyeballing the familiar room. Her clothes from yesterday were laid out in front of the fire, and her phone was plugged in.
Killian chuckled, "I suppose, but why do you call it that? I thought I did a pretty nice job of making it look as though a vampire does not live here."
"Next time keep the blood in your downstairs hideaway," she deadpanned.
"Ah, so you saw that. That's what I was going to show you, that is what I subsist on."
"Only blood?"
"Aye."
"Do you want my blood?"
Killian's eyes widened and his pupils visibly dilated all at the same time. He raised his hand to scratch nervously behind his ear. "Aye," he whispered hoarsely. "Does that scare you? Disgust you?"
Emma stepped into his space. "Nothing about you scares me, or disgusts me. But will my blood poison you? Because of the cancer."
"I'm immune to human disease as I'm not human anymore, I'm not even alive."
She placed her hands on his hips and fixed him with what she hoped was her most assured expression. "Then drink," she offered, craning her neck for his perusal.
Killian grabbed her hands in his and brought them between their bodies. He hung his head and inhaled deeply. "Gods, Swan. You'll be the death of my undead soul."
"What's wrong?" Emma stepped back, feeling the sting of his rejection.
"I want to, believe me, I want to. But I need you to be sure. I need you to take more than a few minutes. Weigh your options."
"What options, Killian?" She was growing incensed with his failure to understand that all she wanted was to spend the rest of her days with him. "I can live and die alone, or live and die with you, it's a no-fucking-brainer. Why won't you let me choose it?"
"I know it's hard for you to understand, but I need to know that you've considered everything I am saying. I would never forgive myself if you regretted one moment of what we share from now until…"
"Until I die," she finished for him.
"Well, not necessarily. If you'd let me finish you stubborn wench."
Emma scoffed, then zipped her lips.
"I can offer you forever."
"Forever," she repeated, then asked, "how can you offer me forever?"
"I can make you immortal."
Emma's breath hitched in her throat. It was one thing to be standing in front of a vampire, it was another ball game to consider becoming one. She didn't know a damn thing about vampiring. She barely knew how to be human anymore.
"What about…"
"That's why I don't want your answer tonight. I want you to think over the what abouts, and the what ifs. Right now you've been missing for just over a full day, everyone is worried about you. I need you to go back to Mary Margaret and David. Think on everything love."
"No, I don't want to leave you!" Emma's voice was panicky as the thought of being separated overwhelmed her. "I just found you again, please, don't leave."
"I don't have to, I can be with you at night. During the day of course, I can't."
"What really happens if you're out in the sunlight?"
"Can't say that I've tried, just out of fear of spontaneously combusting," he chuckled despite the morbid thought. "According to my maker, we don't just explode, or melt at first exposure to the sun. It would take a few minutes, and if we were completely clothed and covered, maybe even a little longer. One of the benefits of living out here in Forest City is most of the year it offers a good enough cover of foliage during the daytime. That is one of the things you'd have to consider, Swan. You'd never be able to bask in sunlight, no more beach days."
Emma stepped back toward him, and she saw the way his face contorted with pleasure and pain. "Killian, I don't care about any of that," she wrapped her arms around his neck and carded a hand through his hair, then continued, "I care about you."
"And I you," Killian whispered resting his forehead against hers.
"Can I… can I kiss you?"
"Emma," he groaned. "I-"
Before he could say another word Emma pressed her lips to his. Innocently, only a chaste thing, followed by small pecks to his lips. "Just as soft as I remember." She pulled her head back and licked her lips as if savoring his taste. "God, I've missed you."
Killian's eyes were transfixed on her, blue as always, but significantly paler than they'd been before. "Love, I think you should go now."
"I thought you said we could be together at night?"
"I thought I was strong enough to be around you, Emma. But right now I'm walking a thin line between man and monster, and I'm asking you to let me take you home."
"What do you need? You can drink in front of me, from me if you want."
"I'm having a hard time with how close you are, how intoxicating you smell, how divine I know you'll taste." He broke from their embrace and scrubbed his hands over his face. "Christ, this is not how I pictured it."
Emma smiled at the chagrin in his voice, he was embarrassed. "There's a perk of being a vampire, you don't blush like you used to. Although, I always found it cute."
"I'm glad you're enjoying my turmoil."
Flipping her hair away from her neck she sauntered toward Killian. "There'd be no turmoil if you'd just drink. I promise, it's okay with me, I… I want you to… taste me."
Killian growled as he pinned her with a hard stare, his jaw clenched and released as he weighed her words. "You always were a damn stubborn woman."
Emma's eyes dilated as he swooped down on her and pulled her against his body. She welcomed his mouth to hers as he kissed her, not chastely like a moment ago. The feel of his tongue against hers for the first time in a year was enough to bring tears back to her eyes. "Yes, babe, take what you need." She heard a click and froze when she felt the sharp protrusion against her lip.
"Sorry love, did I cut you?"
Emma giggled at his worry. "I'd think you would know just as quickly as me, given your new tastes."
"Fair point, but did I hurt you?"
"No, Killian. Stop worrying." Emma rolled her eyes at him, he was vampire and still more chivalrous than all the men she'd ever known.
"I missed that eye roll, believe it or not."
Emma rolled her eyes again just for his benefit. Palming his cheeks, she rubbed a thumb over one of his fangs. Her eyes swirled with wonder as she felt the long, sharp, porcelain weapon, and the broken groan that escaped Killian did not go unnoticed. Shivering, she contemplated why she was turned on in this moment. Should she be afraid? Appalled? She was anything but as she gazed at Killian and his fangy smile. "You're so goddamn gorgeous. Come here."
Emma led him to the large plush recliner in the corner of the room. Pushing him into the seat, she followed him down sitting in his lap, then resumed kissing him. She explored his mouth with her tongue, including running it from top to tip of each fang. She relished the pained whimpers that Killian emitted. Breaking the kiss, Emma tilted her head to the side and guided his lips to her neck. "Drink."
Killian kissed her gently, one hand on the back of her neck massaging, and the other around her waist. He nipped and sucked at her jawline then toward her ear, before settling at her jugular vein. He inhaled deeply, and just about purred as he exhaled his shaky breath. "Are you-"
"Do not fucking ask me if I am sure one more time, Killian Jones. Yes, I'm sure," she cut him off. She was ready for it, impatient even.
Her words were all the invitation Killian needed.
Emma called out his name at the shock of the intrusion, it wasn't painful, it was… it was magical. She felt a thrumming run the length of her body, she felt lit up from head to toe, like she was vibrating.
When he finally pulled deeply from her vein she didn't recognize the high pitched moan that escaped her lips. She'd never been into porn star noise making, but goddamn, it felt so good, she felt alive, rejuvenated even though she was the one giving. She felt it everywhere, including there; gingerly maneuvering so that she could straddle his lap, Emma immediately felt that he was as turned on as she was.
"Fuck," he growled against her neck. "Forgive me, love."
Before Emma could register what there possibly was to forgive, she had the sensation of falling, flying, and floating all at once. Her brain was foggy, body weightless, and her heart hammered in her chest. "Killian?"
"I promise love, I will come for you tomorrow night."
"Killian, wait! Don't leave me." Emma's eyes welled with tears as she realized she was in her bedroom, sitting on top of the bed she hadn't slept in since he'd... "No," she cried into the silence of her room. It had been so real. She stood up off the bed, shivering at how it seemed even emptier than it had for the last year, and trudged to the couch, too distraught to even grab the bottle of rum before curling up under her blanket and crying until she fell asleep.
