2 - The dreams
She opened her eyes and the morning light hurt her. So she closed them again, hiding her face under the pillow.
She wanted to go back to sleep. And it had been such a great dream too! Kind of weird at first, but then she had seen the Person in her dreams again, and it became a good one after that.
Ever since she was a little girl, she had been able to see things in her dreams.
Sometimes she would dream something, only to have it happening exactly the same way she had seen it in her dreams.
Other times, she dreamed of her grandmother. She never met her grandmother, but she dreamed of her sometimes, and the old, loving face would tell her things. Things that at first wouldn't make that much sense, but then it would come as clear as water.
But then there was the every other night dreams, the common ones, the ones that made absolutely no sense and had no meaning whatsoever. Sometimes they were funny, other times they were just weird. And sometimes, during those nonsense dreams, she would see someone. Someone she was meant to meet in the real world.
It happened to her before. When she had been in high school, and she had been involved in the weirdest kind of teenage relationship with some guy.
And of course he wasn't just some guy, oh no, he had been her day and light. She had been so utterly obsessed with him! And he was obsessed with her too.
But the interactions between them had never been good.
He was the school's basketball captain, and one of the most popular guys at school. She was just another nobody. With her messy hair, always up in a bun, her little over weighted body, and her tendency to be alone. And her insecurity.
Her ever lasting insecurity.
Because, even though she had get rid of that little over weight, and now her body resembled that of a true model, she was still insecure about herself, she was still a shy person. And her friends always scolded her for that.
Her friends. She smiled against the soft sheets. She had friends now. She wasn't the same girl she had been in high school. Oh no, she had changed so much. First, was the fact that now she could go out shopping without feeling embarrassed for not being able to fit into those tight pants or that small, cute shirt. But then there was the fact that, although she was still somewhat insecure about herself and her own body, her art had made her strong.
She had always been a talented person. She played the violin like a true genius. She had discovered, while in college, that she had the amazing ability to be incredibly fast at swimming –and that had been the main reason of her loosing weight and getting the perfect body she had now. And her paintings and drawings were simply magnificent.
But back in high school, she had been too much of a shy person to ever show anyone her art. So she hid herself behind her books, always getting perfect scores.
But then, one day, she started having the dreams. She could see a tall figure. And black, shining hair. Sometimes she even got sight of deep, dark blue eyes. And the tall figure, with no recognizable face for her to see, would simply pop up in her dreams.
At first she didn't pay any attention to it. But as the days passed by, and the dreams kept on coming, she started to noticed. The person would showed up in the middle of some weird dream, talk to her in the most charming way, and then would disappeared right before she would get the chance to answered. Other times, she would be the one walking to that person, to that figure, and turned around before it could answered her.
And then, one day, at some school celebration, he noticed her. It was weird at first. Considering they had been going to the same school for five months now, they had never known the other existed.
Until that day. When her only friend at the time had dragged her to the group of the 'popular', and they all had started playing a truth or dare game. And she had ended up kissing him.
Her fist real kiss. And the beginning of the entire love affair that had lasted almost two years. She fell for him right then, at that very first kiss. But he seemed to ignored her afterward.
And then, two months later, when she had finally admitted to herself that he would never come her way ever again, and she had given up, he came. Asking her out. But she had been scared of getting hurt, of being just another score for him, so she had said no.
School year ended then, and then another one began. Some other parties and celebrations came, when they would meet each other, and flirt occasionally. But the story had been the same between them, no matter where they were.
When he came to her, she turned him down. When she came to him, he would walked out.
She turned around on her bed, staring at the ceiling.
The dreams should had been enough for her to know how the story would end. She should have known better. But she was young, and he had been her first crush. A very stupid, teenage crush.
A crush that one day, out of the blue, simply banished.
She remembered that morning as if it had just happened. He had walked up to her, on their morning routine of greeting each other and maybe flirt a little. She remembered her friend telling her that he was coming their way. She remembered looking up at him, walking towards her, and thinking he looked handsome that particular morning. She even remembered the scent of his after shave lotion, and the way he had shyly put his hand on her waist.
But what she remembered the most, was what she had felt at that moment.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Her stomach hadn't jump inside her. Her heart hadn't missed a beat. Her legs had been more than able to stand her.
And her face must of showed that, because as soon as he had left, her friend had turned to her with a worried expression on her face.
"Are you ok?" she had asked, frowning at her lack of a normal reaction.
She had simply nodded her head, wondering what it all meant. That same day, after school, she remembered she went to her friend's house to do some project, and they were listening to the radio. And some song was on, talking about the love that was no longer there, and the feeling that simply went away and disappeared, leaving nothing behind. No love, no hate, no sorrow. Nothing.
And listening to those words, she realized what she had felt that morning.
Nothing.
And she had started to cry, then. She cried for the lost love, a love that never really went anywhere, but was already gone.
Everything changed for her after that. He would still come every morning to say hi, and every once in a while they would actually have real conversations. But the feeling was no longer there. Not for her.
He had tried to get together with her many times after that day. She had simply ignored him.
And then high school ended for good, and off she went to college. Leaving that frustrated love affair behind. She still remembered it in a somewhat nostalgic way. But college had been such an experience for her. She had met her first real boyfriend there. She had become a real woman there.
That relationship didn't really last that long. But, hey, at least she could laugh about it now! And after that relationship had ended, she had started to have some fun, and live like any other college student.
So now here she was, on her last year of college, about to get her art degree. She was already working as an assistant at an art gallery. And she was even starting to manage her own accounts and clients.
Her life was finally starting. The true life of an adult. And there was someone coming to her dreams again. But unlike the last time, when it had been him who came into her dreams, this person was different. This person would come to her when she was having some weird dream were she would feel lost and alone. And then a sweet, loving embrace would make her feel protected, and loved.
It was as if she could feel this other person' soul calling out to her.
And she wonder who this person was. Because, again, she could not see any face at all. She knew it was someone tall. Taller than her. And there was some blonde hair too. And a deep voice. Sometimes, there was also a golden light surrounding this person. A warm light that made her feel home. But nothing else.
Who could it be? she asked herself. She hoped it would be some nice, good looking, charming guy. That way, she could finally bring a boyfriend home with her, and start having a normal love life. And maybe start her own plans of a future and a family, instead of dedicate all her time to her studies and her work.
She frowned. But what if it wasn't a guy? She had been with some girls before, never nothing serious of course –actually, she hadn't been serious with anyone for over two years. They all turned out being boring in the end. And no one had truly managed to get to her. To really get her attention, and make her want to know them better.
But... what if? She had figured out she was bisexual right after her first time with a girl. She had already known she was attracted to guys, but she had discovered that some girls also got her attention in more than a friendly way. And the french transferred student that had shared some classes with her during her first year at college definitively got her attention. And when she had broken up with her boyfriend, she had found herself on the french girl's bed.
So, there was a possibility, right? There was the very real possibility of this person being a girl, instead of a guy. The thought was somewhat tempting. The idea of meeting some tall, pretty blonde girl wasn't that unpleasant. She hadn't been with a girl for almost a year now. And being with a girl was so different from being with a man... So, no, the idea wasn't an unpleasant one at all...
She shook her head. That was just nonsense! She had fooled around with some girls, but, in the end, she was just like any other young woman. And she was waiting for her Prince Charming.
She would need to pay attention. Who ever this person was, she was meant to meet him. So, she needed to pay attention. Something was coming her way, she could feel it. Her life was about to change, and she could only hope for the best.
The whole high school romance is a true story. Pathetic, but true!
And just for the record, the whole "morning greeting" scene, I swear it happened! And it was SHOCKING! And I did cry when hearing a song after that, sitting on my friend's bed and completely forgetting about our Chemistry homework! I just sat there, softly crying, with my friend asking me "are you alright?" and I was like "Yeah... I am... I'm perfectly fine!" Which I was! I was shocked, but fine!
I still think about that very morning, on that June morning at school's hallway, whenever I listen to Rosana's "No sé mañana" song! (if anyone's interested, I can translate the song for ya, so you know what I mean!)
