I know. I know! Better get used to it.

Oh ya, I kind of lost track of what my timeline was so just roll with whatever happens. I'll try and keep it fairly consistent with Canon... my bad folks.


Day 7: Hohō Technique/Theory

"Alright students" Hamasaki-sensei prefaced the day's activities following her cordial good morning. Unfortunately, Ichigo and Renji had no idea that classes were scheduled on Sundays for some reason, certain individuals would say it's just to spite Catholicism…

"How the fuck did you forget something like this, Renji? Weren't you stuck here for 4 years?"

"To be perfectly honest I avoided scheduling on Sundays at all costs. Between angsting about the Kuchikis and raging alcoholism I needed two days off."

Ichigo blinked, "Wow this has been a heavy start to chapter 2. Wait does that make me an enabler here?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about" Renji hiccupped slightly as he swayed awkwardly down the stone pathway.

"Is there some law in the Soul Society regarding drinking and flash stepping?"

"Probably"

"How are you so impossibly ignorant of the goings of Soul Society"

"Angsting about the Kuchikis takes more time and effort than you realize Ichigo."

… and as a result he and Renji celebrated their first lazy Sunday morning by getting absolutely wasted. Considering there were only two people and an 'impartial' black cat, it was a pretty banging party. However, they'd had to quit drinking and hustle to class which, as one can imagine, has proven to be an amazing idea.

"Now that Kurosaki-san and Abarai-san have decided to grace us with their presence, I can start this whole process over." Hamasaki's tone was tinged with an uncharacteristic amount of venom, "On second thought, you can be my assistants this session."

"Wait not this again" Renji sighed

"You'd hope he knows this joke will only take him so far. This is just desperate."

"You know as well as I do Yoruichi will be coming here today for some unknown reason and pull some anachronism out of her ass."

"Abarai-san!" Hamasaki shouted across the classroom, "Show some respect to the Captain of Squad Two! For your information Shihōin-taicho will not be joining us this morning. However, she has shown considerably more interest in this class for reasons unbeknownst to me and, if you showed up on time, you would have heard that a member of the Onmitsukidō is coming in today."
Ichigo paled, "Wait a second. Only one person could possibly be worse than Yoruichi…"

"Two, mate"

'Two.' Ichigo agreed with his spirit

"Please welcome, Miss Suì-Fēng. You would do well to treat her with the utmost respect." If Renji didn't know any better, he would've guessed that Hamasaki directed that comment to him and him alone.

In typical Suì-Fēng fashion, she simply flash stepped next to Hamasaki at the front of the room, "Greetings, students. I've been given a rather unique task — one that comes straight from one of Soul Society's greatest minds."

'Kurotsuchi? Is he even out of the loony bin yet?'

"Captain Shihōin entrusted me a special prototype system developed to introduce aspiring students to the wonders of compound flash step in rhythm. This skill may admittedly be beyond your capabilities, but as students who have demonstrated proficiency with flash step I believe you will find important takeaways today. Now then… Pineapple! Strawberry! Front and center"

"Ohhh" Ichigo mumbled as he swayed

"I knew this was too convenient." Renji grumbled, slamming his head into the desk in hopes of knocking himself unconscious. Cast failure.

"Come on I don't have all day. I'm only doing this as a favor on one of my days off, and those come few and far between so I'm already in a bad enough mood as it is."

Hamasaki took a step forward, "Renji, Ichigo, let's go."

Chairs screeched in unison as the pair shoved them backwards and staggered up to the front, at the very least curious about this new secret prototype Suì-Fēng had gotten her hands on. So they stood, swaying ever so slightly, on either side of Suì-Fēng. Ichigo and Renji looked pretty sorry up on stage. Renji's uneven braid was only supplemented by Ichigo's disastrous bed head. Their dishevelment was not lost on Suì-Fēng; however, upon making eye contact with an inconspicuous black cat, she followed orders and refrained from calling them out. Neither Ichigo nor Renji noticed this interaction.

"Now then," Suì-Fēng stepped forward just like Hamasaki had, only she began reaching into her shihakusho "time to unveil the prototype."

All the students edged forward in their seats as Suì-Fēng's arm drew out from whatever pocket she reached into. Their "ooh's and ah's" alerted Ichigo and Renji — who were standing behind her — that she was in fact displaying the device. Peering around her shoulder, the time traveling pair laid eyes on… an iPhone.

"What?"

"I knew there'd be an anachronism!"

"Now then, according to the inventor, the most effective use of this device is, and I am quoting here, a 'dance battle'".

"This must be a joke." Ichigo sighed

"Far from it, Kurosaki-san." Suì-Fēng glared at him "This is cutting edge technology invented by none other than Yoruichi Shihōin! Show some respect."

He supposed he couldn't argue with her on those grounds. The cellular device was certainly cutting edge.

"Me versus him?" Orange grinned as he gestured at Renji

"You got it." Suì-Fēng nodded, "Do not forget that Shunpo must be incorporated heavily into the routine. I will act as the administrator and… spin this shit."

Ichigo was not sure what song he was expecting Suì-Fēng to play, but it was not Crank That.

"I'm not doing the dance Suì-Fēng." Ichigo deadpanned

"What dance?" But before she could continue, the orange haired formerly substitute Shinigami turned Quincy-Visored hybrid rounded on Renji.

"Listen Renji, it's nothing personal. This is a matter of pride."

"You're damn right it is Ichigo. I'm from Inuzuri, you can't think I don't have rhythm?"

"No more double negatives. Thirty seconds each. Ichigo, you started the trash talk so you may go first."

Ichigo shrugged and shot Renji a cocky look as he dipped and bobbed for a sec before executing a flawless Shunpo backflip into the splits. Despite the fact his thirty seconds had just begun, Renji flash stepped into a front flip, landing on Ichigo's head before kicking off and landing smoothly and silently.

Standing up, Ichigo glared blearily at Renji, "it's gonna be like that, huh?"

"She said dance battle imbecile!"

In a flash, swords were drawn and slammed into one another. The blades clashed with the beat as the two blurred in masterful combinations of flash step. Suì-Fēng decided then and there that, deadlier than any Shikai release, a drunk soul reaper trying to figure out how to moonwalk into a sword strike is a force to be reckoned with. Soon kidō became involved as Renji twirled a Sajō Sabaku around Ichigo who, in his drunken rashness, promptly fired a Shakkahō into Renji's chest.

"Some battle huh."

"No kidding"

"This is madness!" Hamasaki shouted over the rhythmic clashes and explosions

"This is training." Suì-Fēng calmly corrected her as Renji, the Hadō having incinerated his upper uniform, reenacted footloose while shooting Byakurai at the elusive Ichigo.

Renji — Kidō Theory

"Abarai what are you doing, it's not your turn…"

Although Renji failed to respond, the instructor did catch the slightest of murmurings from his student, "today is a discussion on low level Bakudō, Abarai, not Hadō"

"Sorry sensei I have some serious aggression to let out, and my uniform already got blown up"

"Oh… I'll alert custodial services."

A student with undercut brown hair meekly peeked his hazel eyes around Renji, "Renji that sure smells like sake…!"

"SHAKKAHŌ!"

Ichigo — Hadō Theory

Staring out the window had become a hobby of Ichigo's in this class. He really could see why Renji decided to be terrible at Kidō — it was so incredibly dry. He mindlessly heard the instructor droning on about how specifically not to fire a Shakkahō spell. Renji had shown him numerous times, specifically, how not to fire a Shakkahō and as a result Ichigo was utterly uninterested in the theory of overcharging spells. Suddenly, Ichigo couldn't see anything as his vision went pure white. He was only able to blink once before the shock wave following the flash shook him back to reality. On high alert as his vision came back, he noticed smoke rising from another section of the Kidō district of the academy. Ichigo smiled in spite of the hangover that was starting to set in,

'At least Renji is having a worse day than me'

Common Area

"Functioning alcoholism is all about responsibly borrowing happiness from the next day" Renji groaned between meager sips of room temperature water.

"Shut the fuck up, Renji. This is all your fault anyway."

Using the last of his remaining willpower, Renji sent a withering glare for a small second before returning to could gazing.

"It's a nice day" He commented offhandedly

"Perfect for nursing a hangover?"

"Perfect for nursing a hangover."

A comfortable silence ensued, sustained by the occasionally sipping and swallowing. They rested on the bench, pleasantly watching the students stroll by — some hurried, others taking in the easy breeze — until Renji noticed a familiar face sitting on a neighboring bench.

"I feel kind of bad, Ichigo" orange hair swished as the individual perked up, "We've been here for barely a week and I have consistently blown that kid up in Hadō and Bakudō classes"

"How'd you manage that in Bakudō?"

"Not the point." His eyebrow twitched slightly, "I feel like I should apologize."

"You haven't apologized to him once…"

"Don't give me that look Ichigo it's harder than you think to apologize to someone after blowing the crap out of them and yourself."

"I'm sure you'll find the time to do that. Why hasn't he asked to move from next to you?"
"You know I don't know. Maybe he's a bit of an idiot."

"Maybe"

Silence reigned once more.

A few weeks passed by relatively uneventfully. Ichigo still struggled consistently with Kidō despite his best efforts, but he figured his excuse was better than Renji's. However, the former Lieutenant was, annoyingly, improving to the point of usability.

"You know the only reason I had shit marks was because I didn't care, right Ichigo? I'm basically a Captain class soul reaper. I think I can relearn Kidō."

"What about all those explosions?"

"My emotions get the best of me sometimes…"

All in all, things settled down as the academic period hit its stride. The visits from Yoruichi or other members of the Gotei 13/Onmitsukidō were a thing of the past, and the students were busy being students… doing student things that students do. Take Renji for example:

Hadō Applied

"Listen up Abarai, I'd like you and Kurami to demonstrate Hadō number 33, Sōkatsui. Kurami has demonstrated an impressive affinity for learning and demonstrating new spells, and I just don't like you, Abarai."

The class chuckled but also shrunk back in slight fear as they eyed Abarai for any kind of reaction, but the man just shrugged. He'd long since accepted that fact. He waited patiently for the poor soul who would have to be on the receiving end of what would likely be another overcharged spell only to notice who walked up to him. He was noticeably shorter than the admittedly tall Renji, but that wasn't what stood out to him.

"How do you always get saddled with me?"

Kurami shrugged, "One way or another I end up in situations like this pretty often. I've given up wondering."

"You may be the unluckiest soul I've ever encountered."

"You have no idea." Kurami responded with a wry grin.

"I've had a tough day so far. You know I'm going to blow you up right." It was not a question.

"Don't worry about it. I've given up doing my hair on days I have this class."

Renji blinked at the reasoning but accepted it nonetheless, "Drinks are on me"

"I'll hold you to that."

"Students take your mark!"

The students took their marks.

"On your own time."

"Sōkatsui!"

Kurami sighed, "Damn it Renji."

Common Area

Ichigo calmly soaked up what was likely to be one of the last pleasant rays of sun before Soul Society slipped into winter as he communicated with his Zanpakutō.

"I didn't realize learning all of these introductory techniques would be so challenging." He grumbled impatiently.

"It's only natural, Ichigo. You and I both know you've formed natural instincts that sometimes counter what is considered proper mechanics. While they try and teach you a basic Zanjutsu stance your body screams at you to take the stance most suited to your fighting style. Renji Abarai is the same way."

'But what about Kidō? I never used any Kidō spells so why am I struggling with those?'

"Because you're a fucking moron, Ichigo!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes at the sudden intrusion of warped voice.

'We all know you're really the manifestation of any extra chromosomes that may be floating around, so this may all be your fault.'

"That's not an appropriate insult, Ichigo, but you're right."

'Wait I am? He's really the manif—'

"No!" His Quincy powers interrupted before he could go down that path again, "Because your Shinigami powers are the product of true Shinigami powers merging with a Hollow virus, Kidō spells designed for true Shinigami are likely going to be challenging."

'That makes a lot of sense. Thanks, Old Man! Wow wait, Hachi mush have had a seriously tough time adjusting.'

"My pleasure. Now, Renji Abarai has been trying to get your attention for a few minutes now"

'Ah shit'

"Ichigo what the hell! I've never known you to doze off in the middle of the day."

"You're a Soul Reaper genius, you know exactly what I was doing!"
"Wait, you two can already communicate with your Zanpakutō?"

The silence was deafening

"Who are you?" Ichigo asked tepidly, worried that he'd just blown his cover in some way, shape or form.

"He's Hikaru Kurami, the kid I keep blowing up."

"Oh wow so you finally manned up and apologized."

"Shaddup Ichigo, we're drinking this Friday and you're joining us."
"I am?"

"Assuming Kurami is cool with it."

"The more the merrier, but you know you don't have to do this right? I kind of thought you were joking. It never really bothered me in the first place."

"Shaddup Kurami, I'm buying you drinks and you're gonna like it."

"… if you insist."

Saturday Morning ish

Ichigo's vision slowly but surely came back to him. Brilliant sunlight flashed across his vision, immediately making him wish he was unconscious again.

'What the hell happened?'

"You went drinking with Renji Abarai and Hikaru Kurami."

'Why are you sing songing his name like that?'

"I can't help it… it's catchy."

'You're crazy.'

"Ah haa you're finally awake!" a very recognizable individual exclaimed gleefully, "Something about alcohol seems to draw you to my division. It must be the hands of fate."

"Captain Kyōraku? How'd I end up here?"

That famous pink kimono swished and a glass of water found its way into Ichigo's hand.

"I swear to god if this is that stupid hangover cure I will Bankai your ass"

"Oh my, Ichigo that wouldn't be very nice" a genial smile in place but his gray eyes glinting in surprise, "I do assure you that it's just water."

After a couple satisfying sips, Ichigo continued his barrage of questioning, "Where are Renji and Hikaru?"

"Unless they skipped out without my knowing, they're right next door."

"I'm impressed you remember all our names, Captain."

"Of course! You all introduced yourself to me. How could I forget such friendly faces?"

If possible, Ichigo's respect for this man increased. Little did he know there was a little more to it than that.

"You're more than welcome to rouse them. I'm quite fond of my standard carpeting, despite their best impressions. I must say you three are quite the mighty good time! That Hikaru fellow couldn't seem to catch a break with some of those games."

"Games?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow, "What exactly did we do last night?"

"My Ichigo" A smile lightened Kyōraku's soft jab, "you seem to be developing a penchant for an unhealthy habit"

"I'm not sure you're in any position to be saying stuff like that."

"Well you see it all started with you three showing up a bar, and of course Matsumoto-san…"

Flashback

"You're going down this time Kyōraku!" Rangiku Matsumoto shouted, slamming down her bottle of sake, "I've been training for this moment all month!"

White hair swished as both individuals looked down to see a diminutive

"I'm a child you nitwit."

To see a child occupying the stool between them nodding in agreement, "This I can vouch for. She demonstrated exceptional diligence and discipline in maintaining her inebriated state from 8am to 2am every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday each week. Although, in the future, Kyōraku-Taicho, my Lieutenant does not need any more incentive to shirk her duties."

Kyōraku tipped his hat, "My sincerest apologies Tōshirō, but motivating our subordinates is an important duty of the Captains of the Gotei 13."

"I wish I could say I hate you." The third seat of the Tenth murmured

The door to the bar opened and closed as the three students wandered in, "Don't look so glum, Ichigo! This is your first time being in a Seireitei bar. Tonight, we pop your public intoxication cherry!"

"I hope you know that statement is literally almost entirely false, incorrect and wrong, Renji."

"I may or may not have started before we got here."

"I'm starting to think you need to see someone about this."

Interested in who this "first timer" might be, the three Gotei officers turned around lazily.

Flashback Break

"Imagine our pleasant surprise when we saw your silly mop of orange hair!"

Ichigo's eyes darkened, "You can't just say that stuff to people's faces!"

Flashback Resume

"Ichigo!" Both Kyōraku and Matsumoto cried in happiness

"Oh yeaaaah I forgot you met them already." Renji drawled, strolling up to the bar and sliding through the crowd with practiced ease, "Yo Shinsuke…"

So Kurami and Ichigo were left to stand there, one in slight disbelief and the other in annoyed anticipation of what was to come, "Shit."

"Long time no see, friend!" Kyōraku looped an arm around his shoulder, "How about a drink on your friendly neighborhood alcoholic?"

"I think Renji is way ahead of you."

"Beaten to the punch?" Kyōraku looked ashamed as he turned and ran to the bar. His floral kimono sweeping behind him as he waved his hand in the air, "Shinsuke, double time!"

That left Matsumoto to occupy center stage: "So what are you doing here? I thought you left to join the academy?"

"That stupid red pineapple dragged me to the bars against my will, but yes I am currently enrolled in Shin'ō."

"Wow neat! Don't forget to consider the good ol' Tenth division when the time comes! We've already had one prodigy steamroll our ranks, what's wrong with one more?"

Although she may not always get the credit she deserves, Matsumoto has quite the keen eye for observation. However, noticing Ichigo's and Kurami's calculating looks she laughed and brushed her hair back.

"Don't look at me like that. You and said pineapple are generating quite the buzz among the squads. It takes a lot of power to make mistakes on the magnitude you two do! Don't think I don't know about you either, Kurami. You have managed to pique my Captain's interest. The advanced class this year is certainly quite advanced."

Kurami, who was trying his best to rationalize to Renji that he could drink faster if Renji didn't shove the alcohol down his throat, paused to glance over and subsequently endured a mouthful of…

"Vodka!" Matsumoto hopped over to Renji, "You know what that means!"

"Drinking games!" Kyōraku gleefully cheered as he returned holding a bottle of saké in each hand, "I've got just the right game to start us off."

Some odd amount of time later

"Kurami that's the seventh straight time, I feel kind of bad now." Matsumoto looked over as the slim student tossed another one back.

"Oh no, no worries ma'am. This usually happens"

"It's been a long time since someone called me ma'am!" Matsumoto laughed, slapping him on the back, "Just Rangiku is fine. No reason to keep that back stiff, these names are given for a reason after all."

Now officially too drunk to care that he was in the presence of some of the highest-ranking officials in the Soul Society, the student smiled lopsidedly, "Hikaru."

"It's a pleasure."

"Stop wasting time so you can sober up, Hikaru" Renji interrupted, waggling a card in front of him, "higher or lower?"

"Higher on the four."

"Wrong again!"

"Damn."

More odd amount of time later

"Not shure how I feel about this, Capitan~" Ichigo sang to the still sober Tōshirō Hitsugaya, who gained a look of confusion mixed with dark satisfaction. While confused about being addressed outside his rank, at least the student was finally showing him respect.

"I feel great about this, Kurosaki. Now then," pausing briefly to think of a question, "who would you go gay for in this room?"

"That's not fair, Tōshirō!"

"Well we can't ask questions that have a certain outcome, Rangiku."

Internally, Rangiku was grinning, Hitsugaya was slowly getting more and more into the games.

Additional odd amount of time later

"Rangikuu this isn't fair! Youu're targeting mee" Hitsugaya whined, finally having been fully roped in by his Lieutenant, "you know I'm no good at this."

"I plead the fifth, Subordinate!"

"Is that even legal?" Hikaru whispered to Renji

"The guy could kill a thousand souls with a thought. If he can legally hold that Zanpakutō I think he can legally consume alcohol. Both at the same time may be a different story…"

Flashback Break

"Hang on, Captain, how'd we end up back here?"

"Oh that's easy. Shinsuke kicked us out just before closing time so I brought you all back here! Who knew little Tōshirō has such a strong constitution."

It was then Ichigo took in the state of the training grounds with a mixture of horror and pride, "What did we do to this place."

"We may have inspired a competition between the eighth and tenth divisions. Most bars in the Seireitei close around the same time, so we ran into quite a few folks who were also on their way back. You were on my team of course, Ichigo-kun. The two traitors went with Tōshirō and Rangiku."

Flashback Resume

"The first biannual saké relay race will commence! Remember, you must consume all liquid in the cup before you can attempt to successfully flip the cup onto the table. Only then may you Shunpo, touch the far wall of the barracks and back, and tag the next individual in."

"How'd you convince Yadomaru-fukutaicho to officiate this?" Ichigo wondered absentmindedly

"Oh that's an easy one. She's never been much of a drinker and I told her I'd handle the paperwork so she could have the weekend off."

"Do you even know how to do paperwork, Kyōraku?"

"Now is as good a time as any, isn't it?" The man winked from underneath his hat.

"Begin!"

Ichigo had never seen chaos quite like this, but to his pleasant surprise the poor academy student they'd dragged along seemed to be holding his own as he flashed to and fro. He was winded no doubt, but not too far off pace.

Flashback end

"That was a pretty well-rounded account, Captain. I'm impressed." Ichigo murmured

"Well I did have a bit of help hehe." The man chuckled innocently while glancing around.

"I should grab Renji and Hikaru and find my way back to the academy." Ichigo decided as he bowed, "I really can't thank you enough, Captain. You've done more than enough for us, we won't bother you any longer."

"The pleasure has been all mine, friend. When you're as old as me and something comes along that shakes up the pace, I rarely see it as anything but a blessing. It's been quite fun. Don't be a stranger now!" Kyōraku waved as Ichigo collected his friends and assured Hikaru he was not, in fact, dying; it was just the hangover.


Let me know what you think. I was lacking inspiration, clearly, and just so happened to be hungover. Also don't worry: that Yoruichi/anachronism trope won't keep recurring. Fourth wall breaks you may have to get used to.

I did my best to fix my chronology fuck ups. I'll do my best to pay better attention in the future haha