Things change as you grow up. I wasn't a child anymore, but nor was I fully grown. My brothers were one, my parents the other—where did I fit in?


It was becoming clear: my parents, both skilled hunters, didn't really need me out there. I'd go with them, but it was them teaching me how to hunt while they did the actual hunting. I'd learned to stalk, but I didn't do anything they couldn't have done without me there. Maybe there were advantages to hunting with three instead of two, but there were only five of us to feed—we didn't need to go after big prey.

I'd come home one day like that. We ate, but the knowledge that I'd been therem, but hadn't done anything to help bring it down ate at me. Finally I raised my head. "Mother?" I sighed. "What am I really doing out there?"

She looked evenly back at me. "You're learning."

I folded back my ears. "I know…but I wanted to be…well, helpful once I evolved."

Mother shook her head a little. "Oh, Zahna. That's not the point." She glanced over at Father, who joined the conversation.

"Our place is to take care of you three. Yours was never supposed to be taking care of us."

I felt confused and hurt. "Then why…"

"You're not learning how to help us," Mother answered. "You're learning because one day soon it'll be time for you to raise a family of your own."

Arceus.

I hadn't even thought about that.

"I…I guess." I looked down again. "I don't know if I'm ready for, well, that."

Mother got my attention again. "Zahna, come with me for a moment." She got up and pushed through the moss curtain that hid our den. I looked at where she'd disappeared for a moment, rings glowing brighter with surprise, then back at Father and my brothers. Father just cocked his head as if to ask "what are you waiting for?" I wiped at my face with a paw, got up, and headed through the moss with ears pricked.

I wasn't sure what was waiting for me. Mother sat a few lengths away, her back to the den and to me. "Is everything all right?" I asked.

She tilted her head, looking out into the stars. "Have I ever told you what happened after I evolved?" When I didn't answer immediately, she looked over her shoulder and smiled. "Come," she said, jerking her head.

"So?" she asked as I hesitantly sat next to her. "Have you heard it?"

I took a deep breath, willing my heart to slow and my anxiety to quiet. "I don't know," I confessed.

Mother gave me a sideways glance. She didn't seem to realize how nervous I felt. I was a little proud that I could hide it so well. She stared back out into the night again and started talking.

"I was a little like you. I'd never been far from our den. Never met any other eons. Hunting wasn't as difficult as it is here. I lived in a forest, you see."

I pricked my ears. I guess I really don't know much about where my parents came from.

"So there I was, a jolteon. My older sister had already evolved—she's out there somewhere."

I found my voice. "You had a sister?"

"Two. And two brothers."

"Where are they?"

Mother cocked her head at me for a moment. "I'm sorry," I hastily added. "Go on."

She shook her head. "No, it's fine. I was just thinking…Well, I'll get to that. Some of them are still a ways south of here. They never left the forest."

"Why did you leave?"

"Two reasons. The first one you're probably starting to realize yourself. The second was your father. You see, when two eons mate, we find a new place to live, somewhere to raise a new family. Your father was never comfortable with all the trees."

"He's not? But Father's a leafeon."

"I know. Strange, isn't it? But he doesn't like being closed off. In a forest, you can only see so far and there are a lot of places to hide. He always said he felt safer being able to see things coming. So we came out here."

I nodded. "So…I'll have to leave?" Inside, I felt small again. I'm not ready to be on my own.

"You've been worried about where you fit, haven't you?"

"Well…yeah. I don't want to be alone either."

Mother shook her head again. "You won't have to be."

"I…" Suddenly it hit me; I couldn't keep the surprise from flaring my rings. "I—a mate?" Mother nodded, smiling. "But how—what if—I'm still…I don't know anything about that. I don't even know if I want a mate."

"You'll understand." I caught a glimmer in the moonlight and blinked. Was that a tear in Mother's eye? "I know we tell you that a lot, but believe me…there's no way to explain, with words, what your father and I mean to each other. It's something you have to learn for yourself. It's one of the two greatest things that can ever happen to you."

"…What's the other one?"

Mother dipped her head, nodding to me. "You. You and Roca and Ash."

"So how do I…"

"You go. You find other eons, meet them, and when you find the right one, you decide."

"Will I have to go alone?"

"No. I wouldn't make you do that. I'll come with you down to the forest. It'll be a good place to look."

I looked back at the den. "What about them?"

"Your father and I have talked about it. He can keep things on his own for a few days. Especially since there will be two fewer of us to feed."

I was trying to think about it all. "I just don't know if I can…" If I could do any of this. I didn't want everything to change. I'd always known I'd be leaving home someday, but Arceus…even tonight when we were eating, it had always been "someday." Not…how long did I have left now? Weeks? Days?

Calm down, Zahna. It was always coming. I quieted my feelings again, though it was a little harder this time. "So when do we go?" I asked. My voice sounded strange, confident—nothing like how I felt. Mother was right, home wasn't the place for me anymore. I knew that. Just admitting it to myself lifted a burden I hadn't known was there. But still, I was scared.

How could I ever be anything like Mother and Father? How could I have kits of my own? When they looked to me and called me Mother, how on earth was I going to take care of them?

I looked up at Mother and suddenly had to blink away tears. "How will I do it all, Mother? There's just too much…"

Mother turned away from the horizon and pulled me to her. I relaxed into her mane. Mother's a jolteon, she can turn her fur into needles, but when she doesn't…she has the softest fur I've ever felt, like it's made of clouds almost. It's always made me feel better somehow, even when I was a month-old kit, and for a moment I almost felt like I was again. "It's okay, Zahna," she crooned. "Everything will be all right." I nodded into her mane and didn't say anything for a while. Finally I got my paws underneath me and found my voice again.

"How do I do it, though? Just…everything."

"I don't know if I can answer that, Zahna." She smiled. "How do you live a life? One day at a time, I guess. I don't know any other way to do it.

"So tonight, we go to sleep, tomorrow you wake up and keep learning, and when the day comes for me to take you to the forest, that's where we'll go." Her eyes twinkled in the moonlight. "Did I miss anything?"

"When you leave. And getting a mate," I reminded her. It was a bit easier to say now, but it still didn't feel real.

Mother nodded. "You'll be all right. I think when the time comes, you'll be surprised. There are a lot of things you don't know yet, even about yourself."

I nodded slowly. "I guess I have to wait and find out, don't I."

Mother gave me another smile in the moonlight. We sat for a while, and I joined her in looking out to the horizon. I'd never thought about it much before, but now…I'm going to see what's out there. One day soon. I still wasn't sure what to think. I knew I wasn't ready. But over there, pokémon slept under the same bright moon.

Somehow, that was comforting.


It turned out I did learn something new, only a few days later. We were hunting again, but smaller prey this time—nothing like a numel. We'd spread out a little, keeping mostly to earshot with glances now and then. I saw an odd round bird—Father called them natu. He said they were impossible to catch—somehow they always knew you were coming, no matter what you tried. I'd tried catching one once. As soon as I got ready to pounce, it had fluttered off.

As I moved through some brush, I saw one pecking at the ground. It paused, though I was sure it hadn't seen me yet. It knows it's being watched. Maybe it can tell when something's stalking it too? Suddenly an idea crossed my mind. Can I fool it? Even Mother didn't know I was upset the other night, not until I let it out. I breathed out softly, stilling my emotions. Not stalking. Not excited. Not hungry. Just coming closer, closer, no interest in the natu…

I calmly leaped out of the brush. The natu blinked and spread its wings, but before it could flap I was on top of it, biting down. A distressed chirp, claws scrabbling in the dirt—and just like that, it was over.

I proudly trotted back to where my parents were with my catch. Father's eyes widened. "How did you get that?"

I couldn't help enjoying the moment. Finally I set the natu down. "Well…I can trick them." There was no reply, so I went on. "They sense enemies, right? Not by sight or smell. But I can, um, change my emotions. I got rid of all the ones that might warn it, and it didn't even move until I pounced."

Father nodded slowly. Mother looked seriously at me. "You change your emotions?"

I thought for a moment. "…Not exactly. More like I can stop feeling them if I need to." I hadn't tried making them stronger; I wasn't sure my powers would work that way. "I can slow down my heart and my breathing—it helps me be quieter."

Mother kept looking at me, as if trying to figure something out. Suddenly I got it. She's wondering if I've been doing it at home. I had. A little. "I've used it in the den a few times, to keep from getting into arguments." I offered Mother a small smile. "I was never any good at that before." That more than anything had made me feel older. There was another time, when I'd concealed my fear and worry a few nights ago, but I wasn't sure I wanted to bring that up. Arceus, when did I start trying to not worry Mother? That was something parents did for kits when there were loud noises outside.

Maybe it wasn't just about her worrying, too. It wasn't that I felt guilty about it. But maybe, just a little.

Mother seemed to accept what I'd said, and I put it out of my mind. "I didn't think it would ever help me catch anything, apart from being a little quieter though."

"Well, I'm impressed," Father said. "It's good to know you'll be able to take care of yourself."

"I hope so. I still haven't figured out anything else I can do now." I glanced up. "Except, you know, the moon stuff."

"It will come," Mother assured me. To my relief, she gave me a smile. "But right now, we need to get something else to bring back to the den."