Chapter 2: Lost

I look into Byakuya's room in the healing center and I can't believe what I see. The bed he was in is empty. I know he isn't dead. I would have felt that. But he was still not healed enough to leave. He shouldn't be out of bed yet. I grab the nearest squad 4 healer and propel him into the room, pointing at the empty bed.

"Where is Captain Kuchiki?" I demand.

"Well, Vice Captain," the kid says nervously, "He...he isn't here."

"What the hell do you mean he isn't here?" I yell, "What…did you idiots misplace him somewhere? The man took a blow that would have killed anyone else! He wasn't in any shape to go anywhere!"

The healer looks up at me apologetically.

"Sir, we didn't put him anywhere," he explains, "We knew how badly he was injured. We never would have just let him leave. It's just that…he just…left. He was here during evening rounds and he was gone this morning. He didn't tell anyone he was leaving."

"Are you telling me that Byakuya Kuchiki just walked out of here and no one even saw him leave?"

"Sir…that is exactly what I'm telling you. Look, he's a captain. If he wanted to leave without being seen, he certainly could. And if he didn't tell his family or his own vice captain where he was going, then it is clear that he does not want to be found. I'm sorry, Vice Captain Abarai, I wish I could be of more help to you."

The healer walks out of the room, leaving me staring at what Byakuya left behind in his room. On the table near the door are the broken remains of his kenseiken, his guards, and his neatly folded haori. A newly returned Senbonzakura leans against the table. Maybe no one else sees the significance of these things he left behind, but I do. The kenseiken, the hand guards, and the silken scarf he draped over me after we fought...These are the things that identify him as a noble...the things that set him apart. The haori and zanpakuto are the symbols of his ranking and power. For him to leave them behind is a frightening message. It seems I am the only one who cares to read it. Maybe I'm the only one who can understand it. I take the things he left behind and race out of the healing center.

I go to the 6th Division office first, although I know he probably won't be there. Despite what is happening, I have to be sure that our Squad is taken care of. I promised him that I would...until he returned. Byakuya's chair is empty, but there is a large amount of activity in the room. All of the seated officers are diligently keeping up with all of the paperwork and procedures during the captain's absence. A huge stack of documents awaits my signature. I take a moment to sign them, then send a runner to deliver them to the proper recipients. I check the board and approve the training schedules and Living World Deployments, then look to see if there are any special projects. Finding none, I take my leave of the office and make my way to the Kuchiki home.

I have never approached the Kuchiki home without an invitation. I don't feel particularly good about doing so now, but I have to be sure Byakuya is okay. It's so strange, him leaving his weapon and haori behind. It deeply worries me. All of this is very unlike my captain. I try to ignore the sick scared, feeling rising in my stomach and knock on the door.

The door opens and the Kuchiki's old housekeeper looks out at me sternly. I'm used to this. She's not even all that friendly when I have been invited here.

"May I help you?" she asks solemnly.

"Uh, yes, thanks," I say, smiling, "I'm…actually looking for Captain Kuchiki. Is he here?"

"Captain Kuchiki has not yet been released from the healing center. You may find him there."

She starts to close the door, but I stop it with my hand. Now she glares at me. I'm a little intimidated. I have to be sure I don't get myself into trouble that would land me in jail.

"What are you doing?" she asks angrily, "I said…"

"He isn't there," I tell her, "I just went there and they said that he just left during the night. He left a number of things behind at the healing center. I need to…investigate the premises to see if there are any clues. He may have slipped into the house during the night and then left again. May I come in?"

The housekeeper is still glaring at me. I pull out the stops and glare back at her.

"Look, Captain Kuchiki is missing. I would think that someone loyal to the family would want to help as much as possible. Are you telling me that you don't care that he's gone?"

The housekeeper lowers her eyes.

"I am sorry, Vice Captain Abarai," she says softly, "I cannot help you."

I step back in shock and the door closes in my face. That doesn't hurt as much as knowing how little his own staff thinks of him. Maybe the cold, indifferent man I used to know deserves it. He's strong enough to handle it. But how does that other person, the prince with a heart of gold, live among people like this?

"Damn!"

"Renji?" Rukia says from somewhere behind me.

"Rukia, am I glad to see you!"

"I was just about to go and see my brother," Rukia says, smiling, "Do you want to come, too?"

"Rukia," I say, placing a hand on her arm, "Captain Kuchiki left the healing center last night. He left his haori and Senbonzakura behind. No one knows where he went. I tried to get in the manor to see if there were any clues to where he went, but they wouldn't let me in. I even told them that he was missing."

Rukia looks up at me sadly, but her face evidences no surprise at what I said.

"You have to understand, Renji, my brother changed a great deal after my sister's death. It is sad, because he and Hisana used to have the hearts of everyone around here…at least, that's what I was told. But after she died, he turned inward…and he treated everyone coldly. That is why they are like that. It would have been very different if my sister was still alive."

"Rukia, I don't care that he deserved to be disliked by them…or that they were hurt when he turned his back on them in his misery. All that matters to me is that Byakuya is missing and no one seems to want to help me find him."

Rukia looks up at me with determination. I love seeing that fire back in her eyes. Even though her powers won't be fully returned for some time, she still has spunk. I smile. We turn back to the house together and Rukia opens the door and walks in. The housekeeper looks up and smiles at her, but the smile fades when she sees me.

"My brother is missing," Rukia says sternly, "You are to allow Vice Captain Abarai free access to the house while he investigates this. No one is to bother him or restrict the areas he chooses to search."

"Yes, Miss Rukia," the housekeeper says solemnly.

Rukia leads me to the hallway, then stops and looks back at me questioningly.

"Where do you think we should look first?" she asks.

"His room?" I say, feeling a twinge in my stomach.

I've never been in his bedroom before.

Rukia nods, but looks somewhat intimidated. No one is allowed in Byakuya's room…ever, without his permission. She is probably worried about what he will do to us if this is some kind of mistake and if he is actually in his room. She knocks softly and waits, then knocks again. There is no answer. Slowly, she opens the door and we step inside.

The lights are off and the room is bathed in blackness. Rukia switches on the light and we step forward. I am a little surprised by the simplicity of this room. He could certainly fill this place with anything he chooses, but his choices are telling. The furniture is handmade cherry wood. The design is simple and elegant, not flashy or expensive. The bed looks so soft and comfortable that it almost begs me to sink into it. My heart skips and I feel a little dizzy at the thought. There is a peg near the door, probably for his haori, and a stand for Senbonzakura. Looking around, I see that Byakuya's bed is neatly made and nothing in the room seems to have been moved recently. I am just about to abandon the search when Rukia gasps softly and moves to the open shrine at the back of the room.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Her picture," Rukia says, her face pale, "He took her picture with him!"

XXXXXXXXXX

It feels wrong leaving Renji behind the way I did, but I don't know exactly what I'm looking for and I don't feel like having to try to explain myself, not even to him. So I slip out the gates of the Sereitei and then walk slowly out into the Rukon District. I am not terribly worried about being recognized now that the Sereitei is behind me. The people of the Rukon District have never even seen Byakuya Kuchiki without the trappings of his status as a noble and a captain. And I wear and carry none of these. The clothes I do wear have been in my possession for around fifty years. I folded them neatly and kept them in the back of one of my drawers for all of that time, never once looking at them. In fact, I had almost forgotten they were there until last night. I realized last night that if I plan to spend time among commoners, I have to be able to blend in.

They are simple clothes…a pair of slim brown pants with a hard leather belt, a soft brown shirt, and a darker brown cloak. I wore them only once…when the peasants of Inuzuri were the ones to find me…to save my life. Hisana was, of course, the one who found me on the battlefield outside of Inuzuri. She took me to a nearby cave and cared for me until it became clear I needed more help than she could give me. Sick from the poison and suffering from infection, I collapsed. It was then that Hisana sought help from the doctor and his wife in Inuzuri. When I was brought to Inuzuri, my own clothes were torn, muddy, and soaked. The town doctor's family gave me this outfit, handmade by his wife…and said something that meant nothing to me at the time, but now echoes in my head with new meaning.

"Keep them for the next time you get lost."

I cannot imagine feeling any more lost than this. So I put on these simple clothes and wear my hair pulled back and fastened with a red hair tie, like I did back then. On my feet, I wear a soft pair of boots, also a gift from the doctor of Inuzuri.

The air around me is chilly and I pull the cloak more closely around me to ward off the cold. It was cold here the last time I passed this way, too. I wonder if the days are ever warm here. I wonder how Hisana bore it, how Rukia and Renji managed to stay warm.

I know the way to Inuzuri although I have not been there in many years. Fifty years ago, I left the Sereitei with my division and we followed this same path.

"Vice Captain Kuchiki, when we reach Inuzuri, we need to be as concerned about trouble from the townspeople as from the hollow we are being sent to fight."

"Hai, Captain, I will keep that in mind."

"Just outside the town, there is a caravan of merchants that was coming in for the spring fair. They have been troubled by hollow a few times and the usual means are not working. That is troubling when you consider that the peasants of Inuzuri are often more dangerous than hollow. Byakuya, you should be prepared to attempt use of your Ban Kai if we get into trouble with very strong hollow. I know you haven't trained for long enough to fully control it, but it may become necessary, so be prepared."

"Hai, Captain."

I make my way through the dusty streets of the Rukongai, studying the faces of the people around me. The area I am in is one of the better areas, so in general, it seems the people are content. The further along I travel, the more rundown the buildings are, the less friendly the eyes that meet mine…until finally, I reach Inuzuri and the people no longer meet anyone's eyes. They do not dare. Here, the buildings are barely standing…held up by repeated poor repair jobs. The stands are close together to protect the items for sale and the brave souls who attempt to sell them. There are only a few old horses and the carts are all damaged. I cannot bear the thought of Hisana living here.

"Are you new here?"

I turn and barely stop a fist from hitting me in the face. I quickly strike the offender in the midsection, causing him to double over and drop to the ground.

"Not so new," I say softly, turning away.

The young man is poorly dressed and probably wants the cloak, but I am not going to give up my only source of warmth. I did not bring along any money to buy another to replace it. In fact, the only thing I brought with me is the picture of Hisana.

I continue down the maze of streets until I reach a building that resonates. The doctor's name is still on the sign outside the door. I step forward and tap lightly on the door. After a moment, an old woman comes to the door and looks out at me appraisingly. At first, her look is stern, but then she sees the clothing I wear and throws the door open wide.

"Well," she says softly, "If it isn't the young officer come back from the Sereitei. How are you, Byakuya?"

"I fear I am lost again, Noa. But…it is good to see you again," I reply, "Where is Michi?"

"Ah, where would he be but off saving a lost soul somewhere. There is a family outside of town sick with a bad fever. They already lost a daughter to it. The parents and the other girl and boy look like they will live, though. He should be back soon. Come inside and let me make some tea for us."

I follow her inside and sit down at the small table in the kitchen. As I wait, I study the poor, but neatly kept room. Noa chatters cheerfully as she prepares the tea and soon sets it before me. I take a sip and smile. It is exactly as I remember it. I remember it because when I taste it, I cannot help but feel the sense of being at home, of being expected and welcome. That is why even after I went back, I had to continue to have it, every day since.

"You approve, young officer? And you a noble? My skills must have improved over the years if I can match the fine tea that graces your table, Byakuya."

I almost laugh because there is far more to this simple preparation than ever went into the finest teas in the Sereitei.

"Noa, you may not know this…but…there is only one in the Sereitei whose tea approaches the quality of yours…and I had to hand train him to make it for me. You have no idea how long it took for him to master it and how much he hates me for making him learn how."

"Flattering, to be sure, but I feel sorry for the poor soul you tortured."

Renji's face flashes in my mind and my heart twinges. Noa's eyes narrow. She is another who sees through me.

"You look like a man with a heavy heart, Byakuya. I know you've missed having Hisana at your side all of these years, but this is a pain dealt more recently, is it not?" she asks gently.

I sigh softly and take another sip of tea. Noa contemplates my silence and continues.

"Will you be staying in town tonight, then?" she asks.

I shake my head.

"I have…something I must do. I only wanted to stop here and say something to you and Michi. Perhaps, you could pass on the message."

"Very well, Byakuya," she says smiling, "What is it?"

"I want to say thank you. I never had the chance back then to thank you properly for your hospitality and for saving my life. The soul reapers came so suddenly and took me home so quickly that by the time I was really coherent, I had been returned to the Sereitei. I know fifty years is a very long time to wait for gratitude, but better late than never, I imagine."

"Byakuya, you took the lovely Hisana from these streets and you made her happy. Even though she died so soon after, the happiness you gave her is thanks enough."

Happiness, perhaps, but what good is that when the price was to be an early grave? Why thank me for that?

"I wish that were true," I whisper, "but I was never good enough for her…and perhaps it would have been better if she had never found me."

Noa's smile fades. I've said too much.

"That is a heavy heart you carry, Byakuya. Please, while you are in Inuzuri, I want you to stay with us. Any friend of Hisana's is a friend to us as well."

I stand and lean down to kiss the old woman gently on the cheek. She is one of the reasons Hisana managed to survive here and I am deeply grateful.

"I am sorry," I tell her, "I have some debts to pay. Thank you, again."

I move back to the door and am gone in a flash. I feel Noa's eyes watching me as I disappear. She worries for my badly broken heart…and she knows that the path I walk is a dangerous one.