I actually cannot get over the amount of reviews the first chapter of this got. I had no idea this would happen, I thought it was some dinky three shot I was writing to soothe my lack of Mark and Lexie in the finale lol! But I definitely appreciate it! Glad everyone is enjoying and thanks for the feedback ;) For anyone curious to when the next update will be after the chapter for my other story Tattered and Torn goes up. So as they say, on with the show….

She didn't remember going up the stairs to the patient's room, she barely reremembered standing there listening to Mark discuss something with the patient. To be honest she didn't even know how she got to here, changing into her clothes in the resident's lounge. Walking down that hall was like bad déjà vu that had put her in a complete fog.

She had just finished slipping on her top, when she heard a knock on the door, and looked up to see Mark standing there in his signature black jeans and a tee-shirt. He had retired the leather jacket for the season and switched to a lighter jacket for the impending spring weather.

"You ready to go?" asked Mark as he watched Lexie quickly shove some things in her purse. She nodded and walked over to where he was.

"I just need to go talk to the Chief." said Lexie as she went to leave the room.

"Already done." interrupted Mark. "You have off the rest of the day and tomorrow. I convinced him to let me have off too."

"You don't need to do that." said Lexie quickly. "I don't need someone to take care of me. I'm fine." she said as she shifted from one foot to another.

"I know you don't need anyone. I want to. I want to make sure you're okay." admitted Mark.

Lexie smiled slightly at his admittance. Why did he have to be so perfect? Why did he have to be so put together while the rest of the hospital staff was still falling apart? More importantly, why couldn't she just admit she felt those same feeling he felt? That she wanted to tell him those same words, but a crazed gunman and a dying boyfriend had gotten in the way.

"Besides it is my apartment, I want to make sure you don't trash the place." said Mark with a teasing grin.

Lexie rolled her eyes slightly, as she slipped on the jacket that was in her hands. She felt her bag getting twisted with her hair and her coat and let out an annoyed sigh. Mark laughed slightly before reaching and gently un-tucking her hair from her jacket, as she shifted her bag back onto her shoulder.

"Ready ?" he asked.

Lexie nodded as he led her out of the room and towards the exit of the hospital. She loved being a doctor. She loved saving lives. But if she had to spend one more minute in here, she was going to have another anxiety attack.

She'd be able to do this soon. Be able to walk through the door with a real smile on her face. Make it through the entire day without having a break down in the supply closet. One day. Just not today.


Lexie stepped in through the threshold of the apartment door. It feels like yesterday she was lugging a suitcase, toothbrush and panties to this place to show how committed she was. Then secret pregnant daughters, sexcapadeswith ex-whatevers happened and now months later she was here again.

"It looks the same." commented Lexie as she looked around the kitchen and living room. Besides some of things she had added to the apartment, it really did look the same. It was neat, it was clean. Though it didn't look like a home.

"Were you expecting it to look different?" asked Mark as he tossed his keys on the counter. He then shrugged off his jacket and took hers ,throwing them over the chair.

"Kind of. Maybe. I don't know." admitted Lexie quickly.

Mark smirked at her rambling. It was something she and Meredith both did. Meredith did it practically all the time but Lexie only did when she got flustered, like right now. He could tell she was un-easy about this whole situation.

"Why don't you go to sleep." suggested Mark.

"I'm not tired." said Lexie.

"Lexie." argued Mark. She was exhausted and she was fighting it, he could tell. Her eyes were glassy and the circled under her eyes even darker than before. But she was still scared and he didn't want to push her.

"I swear I'll sleep. Just not right this second. I just… not right now." said Lexie as she crossed her arms in defiance, like a little kid resisting their own bedtime.

"Alright." sighed Mark. "But we have to compromise, go shower and change." said Mark.

"I don't have anything to change into." said Lexie. "I didn't know I was coming here until…" started Lexie, until Mark disappeared into the bedroom. "Mark?" called Lexie.

He returned moments later holding at tee-shirt of his in hand. He held it out to her. Lexie smiled slightly at his gesture before taking the shirt. She fingered the material slightly. Without even putting it close to her nose, she could smell his scent on it.

Mark turned and walked into small kitchen area and grabbed a handful of takeout menus. Lexie stood there for a second, before her eyes lit up slightly. She walked over to her tote bag and pulled out a plastic bag. Mark heard the rustling of the plastic and looked up, shooting her a quisitive look.

"What is that?" asked Mark curiously.

"Um… nothing. Just… nothing." said Lexie as she quickly placed it behind her back and started walking towards the bathroom. "I'm going to shower." said Lexie as she indicated to the door.

"You know you're a horrible liar, right? asked Mark with a smirk, as he watched her trying to reach for the door handle, as she pressed her back up against it.

"I know." said Lexie with a laugh as she quickly exited into the bathroom. Mark shook his head as he continued to flip through the menus.

He missed that laugh. That's what the apartment was missing. Lexie's presence. Her touch of femininity, spread delicately throughout the rooms. Her giggle. He didn't want to think about how this wasn't permanent, even though he wanted it to be. She would leave and go and live somewhere else. But he couldn't think about it right now. Because right now, in this very moment, she was home.


Lexie fingered her wet hair as she stared at it in the mirror. Dark. Her hair was dark again. She had to admit it did feel weird going back to her hair's natural color after being a blonde for so many months, but it felt good. She dropped the towel that she held around her body, and slipped Mark's tee-shirt over her head.

She was practically swimming in the shirt, but it felt warm and safe. It felt like Mark. She quickly hung the towel on the nearest rack and headed back out to the living room. She walked in to find Mark, completely engrossed in some medical journal.

"Unbelievable. This plastic surgeon gets written up because he did a face transplant at a hospital that has a "world renowned burn unit". I did it at a…" as he looked up to speak to Lexie and then stopped mid sentence.

He literally had to refrain his jaw from jumping. There she was, her body still glistening with water from the shower, her now dark hair, still damp tossed over to one side of her shoulder and wearing his shirt that came slightly past her thighs and was falling off one of her shoulders.

"What?" asked Lexie self consciously. "Does it look bad?" she asked with slight fear as her hands went to her head. "I probably should have gotten it done somewhere but I figured you know might as well make another change and I..." rambled Lexie.

"Lexie." interrupted Mark. "It looks good. It looks really good. I swear I didn't mean to stare… I just…" said Mark.

"What the heck are you doing? You don't stutter in front of women? Where the hell is this coming from?" shouted Mark on the inside as he tried to form words. "Just tell her she looks pretty you moron!"

"You look beautiful."

Lexie felt her face flush slightly at his words. He still had that effect on her, to make her go weak in the knees at any given moment. She then noticed the plastic containers sitting in front of him on the coffee table.

"The food came?" questioned Lexie as she walked over to the table and grabbed her purse, once again digging through it.

"Yeah just like ten minutes ago. Everything is still hot." said Mark as he reached forward and began opening everything.

Lexie nodded as she came back and sat down beside him on the couch. She then placed a twenty dollar bill on his knee. He glanced down feeling the movement, and immediately reacted by shoving it back in her direction.

"No way. Not happening." said Mark with a shake of his head.

"Mark come on." argued Lexie. "You're letting me stay here for the night, the least I could do is buy you dinner."

"Lexie you're being ridiculous." said Mark as he handed her a plate of spaghetti and salad.

"I'm being ridiculous? Why won't you just take it?" questioned Lexie defensively.

Mark sighed as he put his plate down and put his hand on her shoulder. He looked her squarely in the eyes. Her dark brown eyes meeting his musky blue ones.

"I'm not taking it because I want you here. I invited you here, therefore you're essentially a guest." said Mark. "Okay?"

Lexie sighed dramatically as she crossed her arms over her chest. She narrowed her eyes at him and pursed her lips together, clearly not liking the idea. She stayed like that for nearly five minutes, Mark waiting for some sort of agreement when she finally said,

"Fine. But you're picking the movie." said Lexie with a playful roll of her eyes. He chuckled slightly at her dramatic gesture as he handed her a glass of wine.

"Deal."


He could see her trying to keep her eyes open, forcing herself to stay awake. Her arm was resting on the couch, and she was leaning her head on her hand. They were currently on their second movie. Mark had chosen Jaws, much to Lexie's dismay and Lexie had randomly selected Grease onone of the movie networks.

"Lexie close your eyes." said Mark softly, as he watched her eyes quickly snap back open.

"I'm not tired." said Lexie through a stifled yawn. "Besides I want to see how the movie ends."

"Lex, everyone on the planet knows how this movie ends. You've seen it hundreds of times." said Mark.

"I know... I just…" said Lexie as she yawned. "Can't sleep."

Mark smiled sadly at her as he watched her try to refocus on the movie. She needed sleep, and she was fighting it because she was still scared. He took the remote and lowered the volume, so only a soft hum of noise was heard. He then reached out and pulled her body to a lying position.

"What're you doing?" questioned Lexie as she tried to sit up.

"Pass me that blanket." said Mark as he motioned for the blanket that was thrown half hazardly over the couch. Lexie gently reached out and tugged at it, pulling it into her lap.

Mark then reached and pulled her body back down, gently laying her head in his lap, he could feel Lexie trying to fight it slightly, but eventually she gave in and just laid there. He then took the blanket and tucked it carefully around her body. Once she was situated he sat back and watched as she slowly started falling asleep, still fighting to keep her eyes open.

"Just sleep Lex. Nothing is going to happen. Just close your eyes." assured Mark as he gently ran his finger in a calming motion over her back.

Lexie finally felt herself succumb to sleep. She was completely mentally and physically exhausted. But she knew she could go to sleep. Because she felt taken care of. She felt loved. She felt safe.


Lexie shot up in her sleep. She gripped the sheets, tightly as she tried to control her oncoming erratic breathing. "It was just a dream. It was just a dream. He's dead. Its over." she tried chanting to herself.

She barely even noticed the fact that she was now in a bed, Mark's bed to be specific, when she had fallen sleep on the couch. She could feel her lungs tightening, her body sensing her fear. She tried to inhale slowly through her lungs and it came out like a gasp.

She had been there in that hallway, right like she actually had, and once again a gun was being pointed at her. But this time she didn't have luck on her side, she remembered Mr. Clark screaming at her about how she was a murderer, she killed his wife. That she was going to pay. And then he had shot her, but she hadn't felt anything. She had just laid there. Laid there waiting for death to overcome.

She knew she was being ridiculous. She realized it had only been a dream. But it hadn't just been a dream. She had lived through it, and somehow made it out alive. But the memory would forever haunt her.

I only came here intending to kill three people. Dr. Shepherd. Dr. Webber. And you.

"Mark!" she shouted, as best as she could as her hands went to her chest. She couldn't breathe. She was having a full blown out panic attack. She felt tears stinging at her eyes, as she tried forcing air into her lungs, only to have herself choke. She was alone. Again.

"Mark!" screamed, now completely hysterical. She was taking gasping breaths, mixed with massive sobbing, which was resulting in a bad combination of losing complete control of herself.

"Lexie?" called Mark's frantic voice, hearing her distress. She listened as she heard his fast footsteps, nearly running to the bedroom. The door quickly flew open as he quickly came in.

He didn't ask questions. He knew. He immediately sat down onto the bed pulling her into his arms. She had her legs firmly wrapped around his hips, while her hands clutched his shirt. He just held her, soothingtlycooing soft words and phrases into her ear. This wasn't his Lexie. This was a traumatized couldn't blame her though. He questioned if he had gone out instead of her to get the blood, would he be in this boat now? Panic attacks at random? Physical and mental exhaustion? Somehow in a twisted way he wish it had been him. Because then she wouldn't be suffering and his heart wouldn't be breaking having to watch.

"Mark... I…" sobbed Lexie, though coughs and sputters.

"Shh. Don't try to talk. Just breathe." said Mark as he stroked her hair. "Just breathe Lex." said Mark as he rubbed her back with his other free hand, encouraging her to take breaths.

"I… Don't leave me." said Lexie between breaths as she inhaled sharply the tears now flowing freely. "I love you. Please don't leave." begged Lexie as she clutched tighter, like she was afraid Mark would disappear into thin air.

She'd said it. But right now it didn't matter. He kissed her forehead as he laid her against his shoulder. He gently laid down, supporting both their weight. Their legs tangled together as hers unwrapped from his waist. She clutched to him tight, as her loud sobs slowly turned into quiet cries. He reciprocated by pulling her closer to where there was no separation between them.

"I'm not going anywhere." reassured Mark as he continued to stroke hair. "I promise you, I'm staying right here."

He knew she needed to hear it, even though he'd already confessed it to her before. She needed to hear it again. She needed it to heal. She needed the comfort and the true meaning behind the words.

"I love you too."

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