That Ugly Wolverine

Of all the rivalries amongst the states, who has better food, fighting over another, who is most dramatic, or who's the biggest state, the biggest platform for a rivalry in the entirety of the United States would be football. The very sport that that is confusing to foreigners, even more when an American says it, they think they are talking about soccer.

But if there are two most capable of rivalry for this sport, it's not the Georgia Bulldogs and the Florida Gators, or the Packers and pretty much anyone, but the Michigan Wolverines and the Ohio State Buckeyes. And if you ever seen the two states during football season, you'd know why. Seeing as they could never go into battle over their almost infamous rivalry over the Toledo land Strip in 1833, they take most of their anger out during this game, or the game as it is muttered around by other states. Memories of past games still haunt others, and everyone had that game marked on their calendars as they day to stay away from America's home.

5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1..

"YAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Michigan yelled, she was dressed in her blue and gold football jersey; with her face painted the same colors, she had the number 16 on the side of her cheeks, and her brown hair French braided to stay out of her face. Her brother Ohio on the other hand was wearing a scarlet red and grey football jersey, with face paint the same color, and 12 on his cheeks. His shaggy dark brown hair flopped into his emerald green eyes, which definitely put him into a disadvantage as the two ran to the den, where all of the States watch football. This held an insanely large plasma screen TV, a mini fridge, and the best furniture of the entire house. For now. The two quickly got to the den, pulling at each other shirts, pants, anything they could get their hands on while shouting insults at each other.

As they argued, other states, either in their room, or drifting amongst the house, exchanged glances with who they were with. They forgot what today was, and quickly left home, grabbing wallets, coats, precious belongings, pets, keys to their mode of transportation, and anything else important to them and screeched away onto the road.

"IT'S MINE!" The both shouted simultaneously as they dove for the couch directly in front of the plasma. With a thump, they landed at the same time, "Hey lard-ass Brandon, get off of me!" Michigan shouted, waving her fist into the air. Brandon Williams-Jones was his human name, as Alicia Newaygo-Jones was hers.

"Shaddup Alicia! I was here first! You take up too much space, you fat cow!" Ohio shouted back, giving her a sneer. At other times, they would just have petty arguments over random things, sometimes exchanging a few blows; The Game rapidly increased the chance of destruction.

Quickly getting off her, Brandon grudgingly took the Lay-Z Boy chair adjacent to it, anything to get away from her. On a table in front of them was all sorts of game food, the high cholesterol, sugary food and saturated chips, dripping buffalo wings with 7 different flavors, and not to mention the beer. It was the highlight of any tailgating, or during any American football game. The duo both grabbed on and smirked at the other, momentarily putting their rivalry aside for their traditional pre-game toast.

Michigan raised hers to the air, and said "To kicking your ass again this year."

He laughed at that statement, "You mean I'm going to kick your ass?"

She rolled her eyes, that was the least insulting thing they've said to each other all day, "Whatever, may the best team win" and with that, they clinked bottles.

Ohio beamed at her, "And I will."

At this, Michigan screamed and tackled him, spilling beer all over the place.

-About an hour later-

"NO!" Ohio shouted at the TV, as he hurled down a bag of chips in a fit. "That wasn't a touchdown! I demand a new ref! Lieeees."

Michigan gave a haughty grin and jabbed him with a blue nail polished finger at him, "HA! You don't know anything! I think you need your eyes checked, because that was so a touchdown!"

Brandon quickly whipped his head towards her direction and gave her a heated glare, "YOU SHUT YOUR TRAP YOU UGLY WOLVERINE" He shouted at her.

Her eyes widened, and a slight twitch occurred in her right eye, "YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS! LIKE HOW I KICKED YOUR SORYY ASS IN OUR FIRST FOOTBALL GAME TOGETHER." The other sibling screamed. "34-0! HA! YOU SUCK!"

The scarlet paint on Ohio's face turned into a deeper red as his eyebrows knitted together and white fumes came out of his ears. Michigan laughed at this and jeered, in which made Ohio tackle her. The couch tumbled over as the two rolled around the rugged floor, screaming insults and exchanging blows at each other.

From the outside of the house, one would think that tigers were let loose into the house.

The End Result

November 27th, 2010

Michigan: 7 – Ohio: 37

"Ha.. Ha. I-I won!" Ohio stuttered out before falling face first onto the chip covered floor after around 2 hours of wrestling with Michigan.

"..I hate you.." Michigan said tiredly before she slumped over the upturned couch, her hair falling in front of her face.

And as the noise died down in the house, a few states bravely began to roam around the house, to see the damage the two had caused this year.

"THEY DEMOLISHED THIS WALL!"

"HOW DID THEY GET THE REFRIGERATOR IN MY ROOM?!"

"I GUESS WE HAVE ANOTHER NEW DOOR TO THE OUTSIDE FROM THE DEN!"

"WE JUST REPLACED THIS FURNITURE."

And then from California, "YES! I have a bigger walk in closet now!" she smirked, "I knew paying Michi would work."

Alfred F. Jones walked into the den, ignoring the destruction the two had caused, and smiled at them. "They look so angelic when they aren't at each other throats." He then picked them both up over his shoulders and headed to their separate rooms.

A/N: Michigan- Ohio Rivalry, probably the most deep-rooted rivalry in the existence of American College Football. For some reason any game between these two teams is called The Game.

I actually had this done a long time ago, and posted as a separate story like three years ago I think? But because I still had this on my drive, I decided to re write this and make it the perfect second chapter for my Outtakes story. As you can tell, Michigan is extremely bi-polar, and has the shortest fuse I've ever seen. This is because if you've lived in Michigan for more than a week, you can tell that it could be a sunny day without a cloud in the sky, but not even five minutes later it could be pouring rain with high winds. And then one day, it could be 70° and the next it's 20° and a foot of snow outside.

The reason for the title, one of Ohio's many names for Michi, that works when he doesn't look like an overcooked tomato. I was considering the title "That cross-eyed Buck.." as well, but as you can tell, I didn't like that as much as I did "That Ugly Wolverine.."

I'm tempted to write one with the Michigan vs Michigan State, but oh my god it would be too crazy even for me. CX

As always, review if you'd like it! Tell me what you think, and if you'd like to see your state, tell me and send some information with it. I'd love to hear from you! C: