Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or the characters within.
Author's Note: A couple people requested a sequel to Rain. Instead, I offer this as a prequel. I promise not all of these will be this angsty.
RIDE
By: Hopeful Writer
It had been a long day that was following a long night that was part of a long week, and Jennifer Jareau sat in her office, too exhausted to want to go home. Henry, who had been sleeping through the night, had taken to waking up every two hours, mostly for comfort. Will slept like the dead and never awoke before JJ did to take care of their son. The end result was that JJ had gotten maybe three hours of sleep each night for a week, and it was starting to affect her focus.
None of that really mattered tonight, since Will had taken Henry to New Orleans for a long weekend to see his mother. For the first time in ages, JJ would be able to get some sleep. If only she could muster up the energy to get up.
There was a soft knock on her door, and JJ blinked a few times to clear her vision before calling for whoever was on the other side to enter. The bullpen had gone dark hours ago, and she assumed the team had all gone home, except maybe Morgan, who tended to pick up some extra work so Hotch could go home and spend time with Jack.
So she was surprised when the door opened to reveal Reid on the other side. "Hey, Spence," she greeted wearily, motioning him farther inside. "I thought you'd left already."
He looked sheepish. "I forgot my keys," he admitted.
It made her smile almost despite herself. "So your eidetic memory's not infallible."
"Actually, an eidetic memory is only good for remembering the location of something, not when to remove them from that location," he explained, and she felt oddly comforted by his clinical tone. "With an eidetic memory, you have perfect recall of how a situation looks, but it has no effect on remembering to do something."
She smiled indulgently. "I was just kidding."
"Oh."
He looked awkward for a minute before she prompted, "Did you come in here for something?"
"Um, not really," he answered. "I saw your light on and was wondering what you're still doing here."
She laughed at herself a little. "I've been trying to muster up the energy to drive home for an hour."
Reid studied her face carefully, seeing the lines of exhaustion around her eyes and mouth, taking in the way her eyes were drooping and her hair was mussed just slightly. "I can give you a ride," he offered. "I can pick you up tomorrow morning so you don't have to worry about your car."
JJ was all set to decline, she really was, but the idea of not having to worry about driving was so appealing that she couldn't stop herself from saying, "That would be really great, Reid. Are you sure you don't mind?"
He looked positively eager. "Of course not. Are you ready to go?"
She surveyed the contents of her desk briefly before realizing she wasn't even seeing anything anymore. "Yeah. Let's go." She held out her hand to him, and Reid stared at it in confusion for a moment. She huffed a laugh. "Help me up."
"Oh!" He grabbed her hand and pulled her up, taking her bag before she could get to it. She tried to protest, but he waved her off, telling her he was afraid the weight of the bag would knock her over if she tried to put it on her shoulder.
They made their way to the elevator as JJ asked, "If you forgot your keys, how did you drive home and back?"
"I took the train to work," he explained. "When I do that, I leave my car keys at home. There's no point in carrying them if I don't need them."
"But how'd you get inside if you forgot your keys?"
"I have a spare key hidden in the car."
"How'd you get in the car?"
"It has a keypad that lets me unlock the driver's side door without a key."
"So why did you come back?"
"I forgot my keys."
JJ just stared at him for a long time, until he began to get self-conscious and squirm. "What?" he asked, rubbing his mouth like he might have something on it.
"Sometimes I really don't understand you."
JJ fell asleep during the car ride, and Reid tried to convince himself that he was only looking over at her to make sure she was alright, not because she looked so cute curled up in a ball in his passenger seat. He gently shook her awake when he pulled up in front of the condo she normally shared with Will and Henry.
Years of working with the BAU made JJ quick to awaken, and she yawned once as she sat up straighter. "Thanks so much, Spence," she said gratefully. "I'm not sure I'd have made it here in one piece. I'd probably have just slept in my office."
"Wouldn't Will have come to pick you up?"
"He's in New Orleans visiting his mom. He took Henry with him."
Reid shifted in his seat so he was facing her a little more. "Why didn't you go? I'm sure Hotch would have approved some personal days for you."
She shrugged. "I thought about it, but... I don't know." She actually did know; her dedication to her job had the been the subject of three separate arguments between her and Will in the weeks leading up to this trip. She forced a smile. "I guess I'd rather deal with serial killers than listen to his mother badger us about when we're getting married again."
Reid made a noise that could have been sympathy or understanding, but he didn't say anything else for a moment. Finally he hesitantly asked, "Do you think you will marry him?"
JJ wanted to be annoyed at him for even asking the question, but the look on his face stopped her. It was the oddest blend of sheepish, concerned and possibly even hopeful. She tried not to analyze it too hard and answered him to avoid thinking about it. "I don't know. He wants to; I know he wants to. And it's probably best for Henry to grow up with a normal family."
"Actually, did you know that 40% of marriages in the United States end in divorce?" Reid told her. "That number is the lowest it's been since the 1970s, but many studies believe that's because fewer people are getting married. There are also some statistics that suggest couples who cohabit before marriage are more prone to divorce, though this could be because those are also statistically couples who are more uncertain about their compatibility or marriage in general cohabit."
He paused for a breath, and JJ jumped in. "Is this supposed to be making me feel better?" she demanded.
Reid blinked at her. "I just meant that even if you and Will aren't married, that doesn't mean Henry won't grow up with a normal family."
"Oh." JJ stopped and thought about that for a second. "That does make me feel better."
The smile he gave her lit up the car in the darkness, and she realized again just how beautiful he could be and how bad an idea it was to be sitting in a dark car alone with him. But though every instinct was telling her to go inside now, she settled back against the seat and smiled back at him.
"What's stopping you?" he asked her gently, trying to tell her without words that she didn't have to answer if she didn't want to.
She sighed and scrubbed her face with her hands. "I don't know. It's not that I don't want to get married. I just don't want to marry... him." She finished in a whisper, and Reid, who hated physical contact, placed his hand on her shoulder just a little awkwardly.
"Do you love him?"
The simple question took her breath away. She wanted to say of course. She wanted to say he's the sweetest man I've ever met. She just wanted to say yes.
What came out was, "He's Henry's father."
To her ears it sounded weak, and she could tell by the look on Reid's face that it sounded weak to him too. She tried to recover. "He's... he's a great guy, and he loves me, and I never have to worry about anything when I'm with him, and he loves Henry so much-"
Reid cut her off with a raised eyebrow, but he didn't say anything as she fell silent. After a few minutes of quiet, she blinked first. "I don't love him," she admitted quietly.
"You should tell him that," Reid advised mildly. "It's not fair to him if you don't."
She snorted. "Why do you care anyway? You don't even like Will."
She wondered if she imagined him flinching. "I care about you," he answered, the words tumbling off his tongue so quickly she was surprised she understood them all. "And I like Will just fine. I just think it's not fair to either of you to be in a one-sided relationship."
"It's easy with him," JJ admitted. "I know how he feels about me. He's never hidden it. It's... safe. Putting myself back out there is scary."
"But you're not afraid of anything. Except the woods."
JJ outright laughed at that. "I'm afraid of everything," she insisted. "Picking the wrong cases, picking the wrong man, not giving Henry everything he deserves, giving him too much, being a horrible friend, being a horrible girlfriend. You name it, I'm probably afraid of it."
Reid had to absorb that for a moment. "You're not as afraid as I am," he challenged.
She couldn't stop the stupid smile from gracing her lips at that. "Bet I am," she retorted, and he was grinning back.
"You're not afraid of the dark."
"You're not afraid of the woods."
"You're not afraid of needles."
"You're not afraid of spiders."
"You're not afraid of dogs."
"Yes, I am," JJ insisted. "You're not afraid of a little boy."
"Yes, I am. Lots of them actually." She laughed at that. He turned serious. "You're not afraid of you."
She frowned. "You're afraid of me?"
He nodded, biting his lip and looking away. "You... you're so perfect. You're strong and brave and an amazing shot, but you're also vulnerable and sweet and you care so much about other people and... I just... I just want you to like me."
"I do like you."
"No, JJ, I want you to like me."
It wasn't like it was entirely unexpected. She'd known for a long time that he had a crush on her, since well before he'd asked her out all those years ago. She'd even known that she wasn't nearly as apathetic to his feelings as she'd pretended to be (since, at the time, she hadn't been with the BAU that long, and she was nervous about breaking fraternization rules). But she'd never expected to be in a place where all this would come out.
She took a deep breath. It was her call. She could end this right now, walk about and make everything go back to normal. Or she could dive in.
"Spence, I do."
He gaped at her, and she couldn't stop herself from reaching out and closing his mouth with one hand. Nor could she stop herself from following that hand with her head and pressing her lips against his. At which point it became impossible to stop herself from running that hand through his hair and pulling him close and holding on like he would disappear if she let go.
"Wow," he whispered when they separated.
JJ took a deep breath, giving nothing away while she made another decision. "Come inside," she said softly.
Reid sucked in a breath. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"No," she answered honestly. She met his eyes and held them.
"Okay," he said, and he let her lead him into the house.
