Chapter 2
While Chaney Erik was scaring the Girl Scouts away, Ally looked around her slightly crowded living room.
It was an extremely awkward situation to the power of five. The Raouls and the Eriks were on opposite sides of the room, glaring, and mumbling threats. Some of the Christines clung to their Raouls, while the other Christines stood somewhere in the middle, wringing their hands nervously as they tried to figure out who to stand next to.
There was Silent Raoul and Silent Christine, who were in a firm embrace as they looked nervously at all the Eriks. It was easily apparent that they were nervous because their eyes were opened so wide it looked as if they might fall out entirely. Silent Christine seemed to be trying to communicate something to her dear Vicomte, her mouth opened wide (if she wasn't black and white, she could have passed for Emmy Christine) and using gestures that could easily have landed a 747.
Patrick Raoul, who had a small mirror and seemed to be preening, stood nearby while Gerik had pulled out a stack of glossy 8x10s and was signing them in red ink with great flourish and enjoyment.
There was also Charles Dance Erik, who courteously pulled out a chair for Teri Christine while Philippe Raoul nonchalantly tried to look down Emmy Christine's dress. Happily for her, she didn't notice, as she was showing each of the charms on her charm bracelet to Kay Christine, who was nodding and smiling with glazed eyes. Leroux Christine stood nearby, and for lack of something to do was banging her head against the wall.
Across the room, Kay Erik and Leroux Erik nodded respectfully towards each other, and stared in stony silence as they watched the anarchy before them. Leroux Erik seemed quite frightened, while Kay Erik seemed to find it all incredibly funny, as he was employing the Sophisticated Smirk of Sardonic Amusement.
Ally had the sudden urge to crawl into her bed and not come out for a very, very long time. What had she gotten herself into?
Chaney Erik finally returned and looked at Ally expectantly. "Alright, Chaney Erik, I'll bake cookies just like I promised, just be patient."
Chaney Erik gave her a stare that seemed to point put that Patience was not high on the list of Seven Habits of Highly Effective Opera Ghosts. Ally was about to go into the kitchen and start making his cookies when trouble started.
Gerik leaned over Patrick Raoul's shoulder. "Is that a gray hair?"
Patrick Raoul shrieked like a teenage girl. "Where!" He moved the mirror around his head, fluffing his hair wildly. Gerik laughed, doubling over as he clutched his stomach. Patrick raoul turned redder than a baboon's behind, and reached for his sword.
Within in moments, Gerik had pulled out his as well, and a heated duel began. The other Eriks and Raouls cheered them on, a circle forming around them. It was like a schoolyard fight, only with dangerous objects and masked men, instead of schoolchildren. The Christines all stood off to the side, nervous, frightened, and appaled.
Ally had to stop this before it got out of hand. She grabbed the air horn once again, and once again smiled to herself when everyone jumped a foot in the air.
"Enough!" Ally set down the air horn and folded her arms across her chest, glaring at them in what she hoped was an intimidating manner.
"Believe me, I understand that you guys have issues with each other and scores to settle. That's why I brought you here. But you can NOT do it by fighting. Is that clear?"
This statement was met with growling and mumbling, but eventually everyone nodded in agreement.
Ally smiled. "Good. Now, I really need you guys to do something for me."
This statement received blank stares from everyone in the room, except Kay Erik, who smirked and once again raised the Hidden Eyebrow of Sarcasm.
Gerik grinned smugly. "Sure baby, always happy to please a phan." By way of agreement Phillipe Raoul unsubtly raised his eyebrows and winked.
Ally smacked her forehead. The Eriks were no better than teenage boys! "Not that, you pervs; your weapons." This they seemed to understand, although most of the Eriks frowned and the Raouls looked nervous. Disgruntled murmurs spread across the room faster than a childhood disease at daycare.
"Punjab lassos, swords, dueling pistols, daggers—wait, did you just pinch me?" Ally whirled on the still grinning Gerik. "Maybe. Would you like me to do it again?" His grin, if possible, somehow got wider and more insinuative.
Ally blinked. All the eyes in the room, in fact, were now turned towards Gerik (except for Phillippe Raoul, who was happily staring at the abundance of Christine cleavages around him. He was in bosom heaven.)
Ally finally just shook her head and continued with what she had been saying.
"Punjab lassos, swords, dueling pistols, daggers, etc. I don't want to have to explain a bunch of murders to the police or my parents, so whatever you've got that's dangerous, hand it over." Ally put her hands on her hips and waited.
The Raouls were the first to hand over their various swords and pistols, after an encouraging smile from their Christines, and laid them in a pile at Ally's feet. Not to be outdone in front of the Christines, the Eriks slowly came forward and dropped their Punjab lassos and the occasional sword into the pile. Kay Erik was the last to do so, and his body language and low muttering in Persian made it clear as an acne cream model's face that he was not happy about it.
"Good job everyone. I know this wasn't easy for you." Ally looped the lassos over one arm and gathered up the rest of the weapons awkwardly. She went into the garage and locked them in the cabinet where her mother kept all the flammable-and-otherwise-dangerous-stuff, like matches and blenders. Ally's mother was a just a tad on the paranoid side.
Ally returned, key in hand. Once she was sure everyone's eyes were one her, she waved the little key around, and put it down her bra.
"You guys want to kill each other, you'll have to get the key from me first." The Christines did not find this an amusing place to put it and the ones that weren't angry looked thoroughly shocked. The Raouls and Eriks backed away slightly, except for Gerik and Philippe Raoul (aren't you surprised?), who looked more than a little excited. Ally hastily pulled the key back out and put it in her pocket. She made a mental note to find a better location for it later.
Teri Christine had noticed Philipe Raoul's reaction however, and was not pleased. She gave Philippe Raoul a hard slap in the face. "Everywhere we go you find someone to flirt with! I thought you loved me," she wailed.
Charles Erik leaned towards Kay Erik in a confidential manner. "I tried to warn her. I told her he goes to the Opera for the wrong reason."
Ally was about to step in, as this was an excellent time to begin discussing everyone's issues, when a peeved Chaney Erik appeared at her side. He was not happy, and to point out that this was an understatement is in and of itself an understatement. Ally was immediately reminded that though endearing in a disturbed sort of way, Chaney Erik was still a Phantom, and it was therefore not a good idea to upset him. She decided not to waste anymore time, and that now would be an excellent time to go into the kitchen and bake Chaney Erik's promised cookies. Chaney Erik followed her happily, like an adorable masked puppy.
The rest of the Eriks looked around. All the couches and armchairs in the living room were being sat upon by pairs of Raouls and Christines, clinging to each other (clinging happens to be what Raouls and Christines do best, it seems. The vicomte and his ingenue can cling to each other as if their very molecules would fall apart if they let go. Seriously.) Every possible seat was taken by one of the clueless clutching couples (except for Teri Christine and Phillipe Raoul, who were arguing), so as an autonomous collective the Eriks also followed Ally into the kitchen. She was pulling some packages of Nestle cookie dough out of the fridge.
"What is that?" Kay Erik asked disdainfully.
Ally blinked. "Oh, right, you're from the nineteenth century, so this would be new. This," she said proudly as she turned the oven on, "is a log of pre-made cookie dough. All I have to do is spoon it onto a pan and presto! In ten minutes we have cookies." Ally opened a kitchen cupboard, and stared at the baking pans that had been stored (rather inconsiderately, Ally thought) above her reach. She turned to Kay Erik, who was still eyeing the cookie dough packages suspiciously.
"Would you please get me those cookie sheets up there? I can't reach."
Kay Erik nodded, and reached over Ally's head to get them, and it seemed to her that every movement he made was part of a complicated dance of grace and poise and sensuality…Ally had the sudden urge to kiss him—
Ally blinked. What was she thinking? She shook her head, and inwardly cursed Susan Kay. No male fictional character should be allowed to have this much animal magnetism written into his personality. There ought to be laws against such things, it was dangerous.
Kay Erik was watching her, bemused, as he waited for her to take the pans from him. Ally snatched them from him, trying not to blush, and muttered something that sounded vaguely like thank you.
"Now, this 'log' as you call it, actually tastes like a substance that resembles edible cuisine?" Kay Erik asked, pointing once again to the packages of Nestle on the counter.
Ally nodded, somewhat distractedly, and started spooning the cookie dough onto the pan.
Kay Erik snorted as if he didn't believe her, but he said nothing more. He sat at the kitchen table with the other Eriks and they all waited in a very eerie Erik-like silence for the cookies to be done.
Grateful to have him not quite so close to her, Ally continued to spoon out the dough. She just needed to think of something other than Kay Erik, focus on something else, that was it. How did that song from the Sound of Music go again? Raindrops on roses…and then something about kittens…cats…Ayesha…Kay Erik petting Ayesha…Kay Erik's long, elegant fingers—
Ally dropped the spoon to the floor, causing a loud clatter that echoed through the quiet kitchen. She tossed the spoon into the sink irritably, making more noise. She desperately resisted the urge to put her head under the faucet again, and settled for pouring herself a large glass of ice water.
Ally put the first cookie sheet into the oven, set the timer, and started scooping dough onto the next pan. The Eriks watched, some amused, some frightened, as every few moments her hand would jerk, she would blink and shake her head, muttering to herself, and gulp water as if trying to drown herself.
Gerik leaned towards Dance Erik. "It's like dinner theater," he said, and they both chuckled.
The timer dinged, and Ally set the pan out to cool while she poured each of the Eriks a glass of milk.
Gerik and Dance Erik both reached for their milk and took a swig. Kay, Leroux, and Chaney stared. Actually, 'glared', is probably the more appropriate word. Their masks were the more canonical full-face style, and thus prevented them from drinking their milk without removing their masks (which as we all know, is something all Eriks prefer to avoid.)
Ally walked over, still muttering to herself, and placed a plate of warm cookies in front of them.
That did it for Chaney Erik. He had been promised those cookies, and he wasn't going to let a mask separate them from him. He set his mask on the table beside him and happily started munching on one.
Gerik turned whiter than his milk, and Dance Erik squirmed a little in his seat, but they wisely said nothing.
Kay Erik snorted haughtily. "And you call yourselves Eriks," he sneered. He turned to Chaney Erik. "A true Erik doesn't just whip off his mask like it's the most natural thing in the world. You eat in solitude, where no one can see your face! You should be ashamed." He turned to Dance Erik. "And you, in your frilly lace cuffs; you're worse than the fop!"
Dance Erik couldn't protest because he still had cookie in his mouth, and he firmly believed in good table manners.
Kay Erik narrowed his eyes at Gerik. "And you. Exactly how old is your Christine, anyway?"
Everyone turned to look over into the living room, where Emmy Christine was braiding Leroux Christine's hair and chatting happily. Everyone looked at Gerik.
"She's…legal," he said defensively. "At least I think so…" He suddenly looked very uncomfortable.
Through all this Chaney Erik forlornly stared at the table, to ashamed even to continue eating his cookies.
Ally stepped in. "There's no need to attack the other Eriks just because you've got your panties in a twist."
She turned to Chaney Erik and kissed him on the forehead. "It's okay, go ahead and enjoy your cookies. Just ignore Erik McCrankypants over here," she said kindly.
Kay Erik fumed silently.
Chaney Erik, instantly in love, since no one had ever kissed him, not even his Christine, latched onto Ally's hand and held it lovingly against his cheek. At first Ally didn't mind, after all, nuzzling an Erik is what phangirls dreams are made of, right? Eventually, though, Ally ceased to have feeling in her fingers, and the buzzer for the next batch of cookies was going off. Despite her pleading, however, Chaney Erik would not let go. Something had to be done.
"You know, Chaney Erik, Leroux over here is the original Erik, from THE book. That kinda makes him like your big brother, doesn't it? I'll bet you two would have lots to talk about."
Leroux Erik, who had finally decided since he was the true Erik and had nothing to prove that he could take off his mask whenever he damn well pleased, especially if cookies were involved, looked up from his cookies and milk mid-dunk, with an expression that clearly said, "What did you have to go and tell him that for?"
Chaney Erik digested this information, and suddenly let go of Ally's hand and began gesturing. Leroux Erik stared warily at Chaney Erik, who was practically bouncing with excitement, but quickly found a way to use Chaney Erik's admiration of him to his benefit.
When Ally, who had taken advantage of her sudden freedom to go get the next batch of cookies out of the oven, turned around to find Leroux Erik eating Chaney Erik's cookies, she put a stop to it immediately, earning her another death glare from Leroux Erik.
As Ally set the cookies out to cool, she contemplated her day so far. She had managed to kiss and be nuzzled by an Erik, get pinched by an Erik, leered at by an Erik and a Raoul, and totally tick off two other Eriks.
It was shaping up to be a productive afternoon.
A/N: Thank you so much for all the positive reviews! I'm really trying to improve as a writer, and I appreciate it. I have a good start on the next chapter, and the rest of them outlined, so I'll try to update again as soon as I can. More reviews might help spur me on, though. wink
