Timeline: During timeskip (first scene) and shortly after Hebi's formation (second scene).

Genre: Crack humor XD. Includes…well, you'll see *evil grin*


Chapter 2: What Karin Did to Sasuke


Sighing. Gasping. Moaning. Groaning.

In Orochimaru's hideout, the empty hallway was dark and silent but for the dim light and passionate noises that emanated from one room, the door of which was slightly ajar. Out in the hall, next to that doorway, Suigetsu was crouched against the wall, listening curiously and wondering if he dared to peek inside.

The noises grew louder and more intense.

"What on earth is going on in there…?" whispered Suigetsu to himself. More importantly, why was he letting his curiosity hinder his escape attempt?

A woman's muffled sounds were heard. Then, a man cried out.

"Geez, it's probably just two of Snake-Man's cronies fucking," muttered Suigetsu. "Who cares about that? I better get moving before they stick me back into that tank…"

Suddenly, there came sounds of crashing and breaking, as if furniture were being smashed.

Suigetsu froze. "The hell—?"

The sounds from the room grew more tumultuous. BANG!! CRASH!!! Then, "AAARRRGGGHHH!!!"

"They fighting or something?" wondered Suigetsu, forgetting to escape. Well, he had little chance of getting far anyways. But if he could see who was in there, this might be good blackmail material.

Suigetsu heard hurried movement. Someone was coming out. Suigetsu scooted away from the doorway and flattened himself against the dark wall of the hallway.

Orochimaru's favorite pet, Uchiha Sasuke, emerged from the room. One step behind him was the guardian of the Southern Hideout, that bitch Karin.

Suigetsu's eyebrows shot into the stratosphere.

Both Sasuke and Karin were blushing, panting, and looking pretty roughed up. Their clothes were rumpled and a little torn. Karin was hastily straightening her hair, while Sasuke was tightening his rope belt.

"HOLY SHIT!!!!" screamed Suigetsu, forgetting that he was supposed to be hiding.

Sasuke and Karin snapped around to look at him.

"You!!" cried Karin, offended by Suigetsu's very existence. "What the hell are you doing here!?"

"AHHAHAAHAAA!!!!" Suigetsu could not speak. He was rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.

"Stop that, you're acting ridiculous," snapped Sasuke. He was blushing as if caught doing something very naughty indeed.

Suigetsu continued cackling, smacking the ground with his palm. Oh, what a discovery!

"Suigetsu, what are you doing here?" came a familiar voice.

Suigetsu stopped laughing and looked up. Kabuto had appeared behind Sasuke and Karin. Damn.

"You're not supposed to be wandering around, are you?" said Kabuto, smirking at Suigetsu. "Come on, I'm taking you back."

Suigetsu sighed and got to his feet. Cornered by Orochimaru's favorite cronies, Suigetsu had no choice but to follow Kabuto back to that godforsaken tank room.

Before walking off, Suigetsu turned back and glanced at Sasuke and Karin. They were just standing there, still blushing, not meeting each other's eyes.

Suigetsu chuckled to himself. How interesting.


One year later, the newly-formed Hebi was setting out to track down Uchiha Itachi.

A few days in, Suigetsu woke up in the middle of the night and spotted Sasuke perched on a knoll near their campsite, gazing up at the full moon. Suigetsu got up and joined him.

"Moon keeping you up?" asked Suigetsu.

"Hn," came Sasuke's standard answer.

A memory flashed across Suigetsu's mind. It made him chuckle aloud.

Sasuke turned towards him, eyebrows raised in question.

"I was just thinking about something that happened a year ago," chuckled Suigetsu.

"…What?" asked Sasuke.

Suigetsu smirked. "You know what."

Sasuke's eyebrow rose higher.

"You and Karin know what," Suigetsu amended.

Sasuke pondered for a moment. Then, right on cue, his face went pink.

"Ha! I knew it!" laughed Suigetsu.

"None of your business," muttered Sasuke.

Suigetsu guffawed. "C'mon man, does that bitch even give a good blow job?"

To Suigetsu's surprise, Sasuke's blush vanished instantly. "WHAT!?" snapped Sasuke.

"Oh, what's with the fury?" teased Suigetsu. "That's what you two were doing, right?"

For a few moments, Sasuke looked ready to explode. Then, when he had suppressed the urge to bite off Suigetsu's head, Sasuke spat through gritted teeth, "For. Your. Information. That's. NOT. What. We. Were. Doing."

"Eh?" Suigetsu was confused. "Then what were you doing?"

"We were…" Sasuke started blushing again. He mumbled something.

"Louder!" said Suigetsu.

"We were going through Orochimaru's porn, okay?!" Sasuke snapped.

"…What?" Suigetsu was stunned. "Why would you do that?"

"We were… Okay fine, we were making bets about his…preferences." Sasuke rolled his eyes. "And, well, we went through his porn to see who was right."

Suigetsu pondered. That would explain most of the noises he had heard. But then…

"What was with the smashing and crashing?" asked Suigetsu. "And why did you and Karin come out looking all messed up and embarrassed?"

Sasuke sighed. "We got caught. By Kabuto, of all people. Damn, I can't believe I didn't notice him coming in! He just snuck up behind us and watched us watch porn. I mean, who does that!? Anyways, when we realized he was there, we got into a scuffle and…uh…yeah." Not my most graceful day, Sasuke admitted to himself.

"Oh," said Suigetsu, disappointed. So much for prime blackmail material.

"Wait…" Suigetsu frowned. "So if that wasn't what I thought it was, then why did Karin get so worked up when I said that she did something to you? Could there have been something else…?" Suigetsu thought for a moment. Then, he exclaimed, "Ah, I know! That must have been it! Yes, she must've thought I was referring to that."

Sasuke said nothing, of course, but Suigetsu did not need to ask.

"I know what it was," said Suigetsu, chuckling. "I know what Karin really did to you, Sasuke…"


A/N: …And it'll be up to Kishi to tell us (eventually) what Suigetsu was talking about^^. On an interesting note, Kishi said he'd address this mystery eventually, but the anime (at least, the official English sub) leaves out this line. I wonder why? Has Kishi given the animators reason to think that it's something too juicy for the anime, like Konohamaru's Yaoi no Jutsu? *evil cackle* Naughty, naughty… XDDD