Disclaimer: Still do not own Pokemon...
I apologise, but I really don't know that much about courthouses and how they work...so please, don't sue. I don't have a lawyer. DX
OK, in the last chapter, Max (who was a robot) jumped into a lake and exploded. One of the Officer Jennys in charge had just informed Ash, Brock and May that they had to come to court for breaking the law---well, actually, two laws---exploding the lake and using chainsaws.
"But it's not our fault, Officer! I swear!" cried Ash, clinging to her legs and sobbing. Never in his life had he once thought he would have to deal with going to court. Now, if that wasn't bad enough, he was going to have to go to jail, too!
I will run away, thought Ash. I must get out of here. I will be hunted down for the rest of my life. I am a Wanted Man! What will mum think?!
The officer sweatdropped as she tried to shake the boy off her leg, but to no avail. "Um, kid? Leggo, would'ya?"
"But I don't wanna go to jail! I don't wanna go to jail! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" He grasped her ankles even tighter.
"Ash, calm down. We aren't going to jail." Brock said, slapping his forehead. "We're just going to court."
Ash thought for a moment. "I DON'T WANNA GO TO COURT!" he sobbed. Wow, he must have looked pretty pathetic. But that did not now matter to him. There was only one thing on his mind---escape!
Unfortunately, as Ash tried to run away, Brock caught hold of his collar and nearly choked the boy to death. "Ash, don't make this more difficult than it has to be." he mumbled.
"But Brock...I don't wanna go." he whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I CAN'T!"
"We have to." May exclaimed, rolling her eyes. "If you escape, you're only going to make things worse for yourself. Besides, this will be interesting. Think of it like an adventure."
"An...an adventure?" asked Ash, wiping some snot away with his shirt sleeve.
"Yea, an adventure. How does that sound, Ash?" asked Brock.
"OK, I guess I'll go." he announced, giving in to the temptation. "But that means Brock has to buy me the PinkiePie My Little Pony action figure for my collection, give me twenty-one piggy back rides and tell me why he has no eyes."
"Whatever.
Deal." agreed Brock.
"Yea, Brock. Why don't you have eyes?" asked May.
"Mrreh, we'll talk about it later." said Brock, quickly to change the subject. "Right now we have to go to court."
"That's right, and you already wasted fifteen minutes of our day with your childish antics." said one of the Officer Joes. He was quite chubby and was eating a powdered doughnut. He looked quite grumpy and a little scary.
"Alright, um...yea. Let's go." said Brock.
So the three children followed the officials to court. Nobody could talk back against any of the Jennys or Joes, especially the powdered-doughnut guy. The Officer Joe was holding the cutest Officer Jenny's hand---making Brock pretty dang jealous.
"Well, we're here." exclaimed the Jenny as they reached the courthouse.
Ash gulped. Well, this was it. His life was over. His dream of becoming a Pokemon Master...gone in the blink of an eye. His future career as a Walmart employee...crushed like hard granite in a bulldozer's claw. His thoughts, his dreams, his life...over.
Brock, Ash and May got seated in the front of the room. Villagers and other such people sat in the audience, either to defend or...to not defend. Everyone was talking at once about the ordeal. An explosion as large as this happened solemnly in the small town and it seemed to be a pretty big deal among the individuals.
"Order! Order in the Court!" yelled the jury. Everyone went silent.
"OK Case number 2857...illegal explosion device in Lake Gowawa(A/N---made-up place XD)..." said the jury, looking at a long list of crimes. "Also, Case number 1836, the use of chainsaws in an urban environment."
"I OBJECT!" shouted Ash at the tops of his lungs. Everyone in the Court looked at him weirdly before Ash blushed, embarrassed and sat back down in his seat.
"Bigga..." mumbled pikachu, slapping his forehead. Right now, he should be outside getting a nice tan...not wasting his day in a stupid courthouse.
"Erm...alright then..." said the jury, getting back on track. He cleared his throat. "So, what does anybody have to say about this?"
An Officer Jenny from the opposite side of the room stood up. "I would like to state that these three children were found near the crime scene after the explosion and claimed that their friend exploded in the lake. It seems that they have been using some kind of robot for the dynamic explosion."
"What? Their friend? Exploded?" asked the jury, scratching his head as if he couldn't believe what he just heard. "Very well. Any evidence of this?"
"Yes." said the officer and she held up two baggies with so-called evidence inside. One was labeled Exhibit A and the other read Exhibit B. All members of the courthouse were looking curiously at the baggies and wondering what was inside.
The jury turned to the children sitting at the other side. All three of them were shifting uncomfortably and appeared to be very anxious.
"So..." said the jury. "What do you have to say in your defense?"
"It wasn't us!" screamed Ash. "Max was the one who decided to explode! It was a life-death situation! Right, Brock?"
"Yes." Brock said with a nod. "It was very sudden and crazy...I really don't think I can put it into words..."
"Yea! We weren't a part of this at all!" cried May.
"Then would you kindly demonstrate to us the meanings of Exhibit A and Exhibit B?" asked the jury as a member of the court held up the two respective baggies. One seemed to contain Max's nose while the other had a piece of a chainsaw.
"Um..." Ash said, rubbing his chin. "We're...innocent?"
Brock slapped his forehead. Oh, they were in soooooo much trouble, now...
Everyone in the courthouse started shouting at once again and the jury had to bang his mallet thingie on the table to get their attention. "ORDER! Order in the court!" he screamed. Everything was quiet, again.
"OK, would you kindly prove to us why you are innocent?" asked the jury. He looked at Ash sternly. "By the way...what's your name, kid?"
"Ketchum..." he whispered softly.
"OK, Mr. Ketchup. Tell us why you were innocent." the jury ordered.
"It's KETCHUM---not Ketchup!" Ash cried, desperate to be heard over the sudden talking in the court.
"ORDER! ORDER IN THE FRIGGIN' COURT!" screamed the jury. Everyone was once again, silent.
"So...any evidence?" asked the jury, tapping his fingers on the desk.
"My name isn't Ketchup." Ash mumbled.
Pikachu's ears perked at the sound of his favourite word being spoken on his master's lips. Ah...ketchup. The delicious tomatoey sensation...the beautiful divine texture...the unmistakable plastic container. Pikachu licked his lips, dreaming of the wonderful condiment.
"Yea, fine. Mr. Mustard. Mr. Relish. I don't care what the heck your name is, just give us the facts!" shouted the jury.
Ash was silent. "Um...well..." He looked hopefully towards Brock.
Brock glanced off (somehow) towards Ash and gave an exasperated sigh. "Look, I don't know." he admitted. "I don't know anything about this. I was just cooking soup---completely innocent. Besides that, I just...don't know."
Ash's eyes widened. Brock didn't KNOW?! He thought Brock knew everything! Ash had looked up to Brock for so many years, thinking he was the smartest, coolest guy he'd ever met on the whole darn planet. And now, here they were, in a courthouse. Brock had just admitted something that Ash thought his ears would never hear. Well...guess he was wrong all along.
"Well, if you have no evidence or defense in your favour, I'm afraid there's really nothing we can do." said the jury, putting down his large mallet thing-a-ma-bobby. "The act you have done is illegal, and you have three choices. Number One...pay up the fines for the damage. That would be 10,000 dollars."
Everyone had a shock of terror written across their faces. Ash put his hand to his heart in horror. He only got five dollars of allowance a week! He would have to save up for years to get that much money!
"Choice number two..." the jury continued. "Serve your time of three years in prison."
Everyone got even more scared. Ash was so terrified he could have almost had a heart-attack. THREE YEARS?! He would be old, then! Really old!
"And last but not last, good ol' choice number three..." said the jury. "Community service."
Ash braced himself. "What's community service?" he asked.
"Ash, you dummy!" shouted May. "You don't know what community service is?! HOW STUPID IS THAT?!" She turned to Brock. "What's community service?" she whispered. Brock sweatdropped.
"Community service," said the jury. "Is what you do to help out your environment and earn money to pay up for the damages. Things like picking up trash, volunteering...and in this case---rebuilding Lake Gowawa."
Ash blushed stupidly. "OK...we'll do the community service." he said rather hastily.
The jury smiled. "I thought you'd say that. Now...just for the sake of it all...does anyone here, other than these three individuals," he gestured towards Ash, Brock and May. "Have anything to say in defense before we wrap up this case?"
Everybody was silent.
"Anybody? This is your time---speak up now."
Everybody was still silent.
"OK then, I now declare Case number 2857---"
"I OBJEEEEEEEEECT!" screamed a voice before the jury could land his mallet. Everybody looked to the back of the room to where the voice came from. A teenage, orange-haired girl with a togepi in her arms was standing in the doorway, panting hard and out of breath.
Ash's eyes widened again. "Misty?" he squeaked. Wow, could this day get any weirder?
Misty walked up to the front of the room. "Of course it's me, Ketchum!" she shouted. "I just almost freakin' broke my legs off trying to get here!"
Ash arched his eyebrow. "How did you know?" he asked.
"Hey, you should be happy I'm here." she replied. "You're lucky I was in the area or I would have never figured this out. I was coming to visit you in Hoenn when I heard about an explosion caused by three children...and one of them was a kid with messy black hair and an idiotic personality."
"HEY, WHO SAYS I HAVE AN IDIOTIC PERSONALITY?!" Ash cried.
Everyone started shouting again and the jury sighed, putting his hand to his head. "Boy, what I wouldn't do for an Asprin..." he mumbled before banging his mallet once again. "ORDER IN THE COURT, YOU FREAKIN' IMBESILES!"
"Yea Mist, and what about the gym?" asked Ash, unaware of the screaming jury.
"Oh, I left it to my sister, Daisy. She says she's just gonna give 'em all badges." Misty shrugged. "But don't worry---they're fake. I made them out of my old candy wrapper collection."
"O.o You have a candy wrapper collection?" asked Ash, dumbfounded.
"Of course I do! Everybody has a collection!"
"Oh yea...like My Little Pony." gaped Ash, remembering. "Brock says he's gonna buy me the ultra special edition of Pinkie Pie and Sparkle Works!"
"Hey, Sparkle Works was never in the deal!" Brock countered.
Ash rolled his eyes. "What.Ev." he declared.
"Stop changing the subject, for heaven's sake---We're in a courthouse!" the jury reminded them. He looked at Misty. "Now..." he said. "What do you have to say in their defense?"
"Oh yeh...that." Misty said, waving her hand. "I was going to say that I have a hunch of who did this. You say the explosion was caused by a robot, huh?"
The jury nodded slowly.
"What kind of robot?" she asked.
"Oh, for Pete's sake, we don't know!" yelled the jury. "But according to the evidence, yes, it was a robot. And it's form seemed to resemble one of a human child, according to pieces of rotting metal---and stories---that we've gotten on this case."
"Hmmm...show me the baggies." Misty ordered, holding out her hands with wiggling fingers. The Officer Jenny with the bags gave them to Misty and she stared at them and muttered softly to herself before giving them back.
"Yup. I know exactly who did this." she announced.
Everyone looked at her.
"Who?" asked Ash.
"Gawsh, Ash, isn't it obvious?!" she shouted. "They've followed you for years and years and you have no idea who the heck I'm talking about?!"
Ash shook his head.
"Prepare for trouble...make it double...doesn't it ring a bell?" asked Misty.
May scratched her chin. "Yea, I've think I've heard that somewhere before." she replied, also playing dumb.
"Oh yea! So have I!" said Ash, his eyes sparkling as he had just come to his mind. "It was in that one educational program I watched on PBS once!"
Misty anime-fell onto the ground.
"Gee Misty, we were just joking." Ash laughed, rolling his eyes. "You're talking about Team Rocket, right?"
"No, duh." grumbled Brock.
"Team Rocket?" asked the jury. "Aren't they that criminal organization in Kanto? We don't get trouble from those goons here---most of the dirty work in Hoenn is usually the work of either Team Aqua or Magma."
"No...it's not the actual organization, per say." Brock explained. "It's just three people that stalk us everywhere we go and try to steal Ash's pikachu. They make lots of weird mechas and things, so I'm not surprised we've decided to bring them up."
The jury looked on, confused. "You mean, they just stalk you? And you're OK with that?"
"Yea, they're really weak and I can usually kill 'em with pikachu's thunderbolt." beamed Ash. "I actually enjoy it, if you want to know the truth. It gives my pokemon free experience points. Though sometimes it can become quite a bore, blasting 'em off time after time...it gets old, y'know?"
The jury looked at Satoshi weirdly. "So, you think these three were the ones who were behind this?" he asked. "Are they in the courthouse right now?"
Ash and company looked back at the people in the stands. And before you ask, no, Team Rocket weren't in disguises either. If they were, Ash and friends would have never known anyway because they're too stupid to realise it when they see it.
"Well...no." Ash admitted.
"What do they look like?" asked the jury and he gestured to that one court member with the pad of paper (don't know what they're called) and the man got ready with his pencil.
"Uhhh...well, they look like freaks." Ash said.
The jury again, scratched his head. "Could you give us a little more detail?" he asked.
"Well," he started. "They wear these goofy white shirts with red 'R's on 'em, and they're both ripped at the bottom. They've always had the rips in them and they never fixed it. I don't think they know how to sew. But they're pretty good at cross-stitching."
"O.o Uhh...alright. Go on."
"Oh yea, and one of them is this woman who has really long, curly hair that's fun to pull on! And the other one is a man with blue hair that's really shiny and it goes through his eye. And then they have a demented talking cat."
"Waitwaitwait...hold on a second." said the jury. "A talking cat?"
"Yea. Well, actually, he's a meowth. But I like to call him a cat cuz it makes him mad. And he looks funny when he's mad."
"Errr...OK. And what about this hair going through his eye thing?"
"Oh, THAT?" asked Ash. "I don't know. His hair just goes through his eye and the funny thing is, he's completely oblivious to it...I bet it hurts though. But I think it was just the way he was drawn."
"Um...interesting. And have you ever pulled on this woman's hair?"
"Actually, no, I haven't." Ash admitted. "But it tempts me---oh yes. It hangs down like a curly lever of doom, coaxing me to pull on it...taunting me to grab it with my fists...PURE TORTURE, I TELL YA!"
The jury sweatdropped. "OK...do you know where they are?"
Ash shrugged. "No idea. But they always seem to find us before we find them. They recite this stupid motto of theirs and then I command my pikachu to use thunderbolt and then pikachu uses thunderbolt and gets experience and then Team Rocket's like BOOM and they go bye-bye."
Misty, Brock and May all blinked.
"Uhhh...what are their names?" asked the jury.
"Jessie, James and Meowth. Jessie is the one with hair going through the eye, James is the cat thingie and Meowth is the one with the hair that's fun to pull on! No wait...I think I got it switched around. Maybe Meowth was the one with the hair in the eye and James was---no, that's not right..."
"OK, Mr. Ketchum, we get your point. You can shut up now." said the jury, rolling his eyes.
Ash wasn't listening and continued to talk. "And Jessie is the one with the green bunny slippers and James is the one with a purple toothbrush and Meowth is the one with a rainbow pillow...and Giovanni is my dad!"
"Wait...what? Who's Giovanni?" asked the jury, scratching his head.
"Giovanni is my dad!" exclaimed Ash.
"Yeh, I know, you already said that. Is he a part of this, too?" asked the jury.
"Um...I don't know." he replied. "But probably not. All he likes to do is boring boss stuff like sit around lazily in his chair, eating Lays Potato Chips and watching Soap Operas."
"O.o Um...so...ah, just forget it." said the jury, slapping his forehead.
"Giovanni is your dad?" asked Misty.
"Of course he is, Mist." Ash laughed. "Mom talks about him all the time, and in kindergarten I used to go with him to work on Take Your Kid to Work Day. His job is really boring. All he does is watch Soap Operas and play Minesweeper on his computer."
"OK...?" said the jury, but Ash continued.
"Yea, and his office stinks like rotten cheese. Whenever he eats Quinzos, he gets really bad gas. I've tried giving him Beano, but he refuses to admit his problem, though I---"
"OK, OK, OK!" shouted the jury, putting up his hands to silence Ash. "That is WAY more than I needed to know. In fact, I don't really have to know any of this at all. Why are we even talking about your dad in the first place?"
"Cuz he smells like stinky ham."
The jury face-faulted into the ground, mallet and all.
Brock sweatdropped. "Well, Ash has officially done it, again. You never really know when to quit talking, do you?"
"I don't know...but you should meet my dad, Brock. You two have a lot in common---except for the fact that he actually has eyes." Ash remarked.
"Yea, Brock! Tell us why you don't have eyes!" piped May.
"I said I'd talk about it later." Brock mumbled. He quickly changed the subject again. "Instead of sitting around here and yapping, let's just finish up this stupid case." He walked up to the jury and helped him up off the ground.
"Oh, thank you, lad." he grumbled upon getting up. He fixed his glasses up on his nose. "OK, so where were we again?"
Everyone in the room stared at the jury.
"Oh yes!" he exclaimed. "Case number 2857." He staggered back to his seat and sat, pounding his mallet back down on the desk to get everyone's attention, even though he pretty much already had it.
"So, does this mean we have to community service, now?" asked Ash. "I really don't want to do community service. I don't like my community."
"Yea, we've noticed, apparently." mumbled the jury. "Anyway, I'll make you kids a deal. Since you claim to be innocent, I'd like you to prove it to me. If you can bring the culprits here to the courthouse in a time period of 24 hours, we'll continue with the case. If not, you'll be llabled off as guilty and will be sentenced to five months of community service."
Ash's eyes widened. "FIVE MONTHS?!" he exclaimed.
"Yes, five months. There's a lot of damage done to Lake Gowawa and I'm afraid it's the least I can do. Trust me, I'm supposed to be giving you seven months but...you're only kids, so I'm leaving you off with a small warning. HOWEVER---" he banged his mallet. "You still have 24 hours to prove us wrong and bring us the criminals. But for right now...case closed." He wiped his forehead. "Thank the Lord."
Everyone muttered as they scattered out of the room.
"Cool, so I guess we might not have to do community service after all---or go to jail! Or anything!" Ash squealed joyfully as he skipped outside to the open (destroyed) meadow.
"I wouldn't celebrate just yet." Brock mumbled. "We've still got to bring Team Rocket to the courthouse in the course of 24 hours---not to mention, I'd like to find out what happened to the real Max..."
"Don't be silly Brock---Max was a robot! The whole time!" laughed Ash. "There is no real one!"
Misty banged Ash's head with a mallet. "There has to be some kind of real one, for heaven's sake! A kid who's lived with May all her life?! I'm telling you, the robot was just a mere copy of the real thing."
"But where IS the real thing?" asked Ash.
"For crying out the window, WE DON'T KNOW!" countered Misty back.
"Guys! Both of you, calm down!" ordered Brock. "Stop arguing like a couple already and help me figure out a plan!"
"WE AREN'T A COUPLE!" both screamed together in sync. They looked at each other and blushed.
"Uhh...hehe, YEA." Ash giggled stupidly. "Besides," he got back to his normal serious tone. (if he has one. XD) "Getting Team Rocket to court should be a piece of cake. They follow us wherever we go. All we have to do is use pikachu as bait and TADA! Works like a charm, I tell ya."
"You're right," Brock grumbled again, feeling very dumb. "But what if they steal your pikachu, Ash?"
"No big deal." he replied casually. "If they ever succeed in stealing it, they'll give it to Dad. And I know all of Dad's passwords so I could break into his room easily. Seriously, Brock. No big deal."
Pikachu crossed his arms. Ha? No big deal. Acting as bait for a stupid trap to bring Team Rocket to court was the stupidest idea he had ever heard of and was not open to it at all. "Pi." he refused.
"Aw, come on, pikachu! I'll buy you five two-liter bottles of ketchup!" Ash tempted. Pikachu sighed as the offer proved too much for him to refuse any longer.
"Peeeeeka.(fiiiiiiiine...)" he mumbled, nodding his head.
"Alright! HOW FUN! THANX SO MUCH, PIKACHU!" screamed Ash, picking up the mouse and squeezing the life out of him. The creature gasped and struggled for breath before being tossed back onto the ground in an embarrassing way. Pikachu got up, brushed the dirt off his fur and pretended it never happened.
"Well, guess we should probably start, now." May said.
"Yea, but first---why don't you have any eyes, Brock?" asked Ash, for the third time in the single day.
"May's right, let's go look for Team Rocket!" Brock replied quickly, not even stopping to answer Ash's question in between. He grabbed Ash's arm. "Come on, guys! Let's go! Let's go!"
"But you didn't answer my question! TELL ME!" pleaded Ash, being dragged.
Misty, May and Pikachu sweatdropped. This was going to be one heck of a day...
Next Chapter Preview:
"So what are YOU twerps doing here?" asked Jessie.
"Don't play dumb. You know what you did!" cried Ash, shaking his fist. "You turned Max into a deadly robot with chainsaws that jumped into the lake and destroyed half the city and now we're all gonna diiiiiiiiie!"
All Ash received was three blank stares.
"What's it trying to say?" asked James, studying the boy.
Meowth laughed. "He thinks that we turned the geeky twerp into a robot!"
"He does, does he?" asked Jessie. "That's...that's...that's HILARIOUS! HAHAHAHA! What kind of idiots does he think we are?"
The villians all fell onto the ground, roaring with laughter and kicking their legs in the air.
The four children and Pikachu stared at them, sweatdropping.
Brock slapped his forehead once more. "Ohhhhh...I think I need to lie down." he announced.
