Akatsuki on the Maury Show

Chapter Two: Confrontation

Maury: Previously on the Maury Show: (Camera on Maury) The Akatsuki members showd us their videos, Kakuzu, Zetsu, Sasori, Itachi, Deidara, and Hidan all claimed not to be the father of a one month old baby boy that was left by his mother on the door step of the elusive Akatsuki organization claiming that one of them is the father, and then died hours later, and she has not named the boy, so the Akatsuki organization agrees that who ever the father is will get to name the boy, All but two claim it's not theirs and two who want him to be theirs are Tobi and Kisame. Now on with the show...

Maury: Welcome back I'm here with the leader of the Akatsuki organization, Now Leader what makes you sure that you are not the father? (Camera on Leader)

Leader: Because I'm too busy to take over the world have any relation ship other than with Konan (Crowd cheers and kind boos as well) (Camera on Maury)

Maury: Well we watched all of the other eight Akatsuki members videos and with out any further wait lets bring them out one by one and talk to them. First we have Kakuzu. Kakuzu come on out!! (Camera on the entrance were Kakuzu comes out)

(crowd boos as Kakuzu comes out) (and he sits next to Konan) (Camera on Maury)

Maury: Well Kakuzu those were very interesting reasons.

Kakuzu: Money is all that matters and is the most important thing in the world and I'm not gonna invest it into something thats not mine (Crowd boos Kakuzu) Boo all you want I'm not gonna change my mind, Humph.

Maury: Now Kakuzu, Konan told us that All the Akatsuki members gave the child a different name.

Kakuzu: Yup. and the other name for the kid are stupid except for mine.

Maury: Can you tell us what you wanted to name him?

Kakuzu: Sure, I wanted to name him Money. (crowd and Maury laugh) Humph, I thought it was a good name.

Konan: Thats a stupid name for a kid.

Kakuzu: Coming from a women who wanted to name the kid Angel.

Konan: Hey that is a cute name for a cute kid!

Maury: Now Leader can you tell us what you wanted to name the child?

Leader: Damien.

Kakuzu: Thats a name for the antichrist kid not for that kid!

Leader: Well that is not gonna be his name because I am not the father.

Kakuzu: Fine, sure keep telling your self that, Liar.

Maury: We have more guests, Lets bring out Zetsu.

Kakuzu: Yeah bring out the cannibalistic plant! (Camera on the entrance were Zetsu comes out)

(crowd boos as Zetsu comes out) (Zetsu sits next to Kakuzu)

Maury: Now Zetsu tell me why do you think you are not the father?

Zetsu: OMG!! Are you joking? Are you blind or what? LOOK AT ME!!! I have this plant thing growing out of what I think are my shoulders or my waist! I have green hair, The left side of my face is white, And right side is black!!! on the right side of my face I have no eyebrow, white dots or metal push pins on the out line of the right side of my face!! I have thick yellow eyes and the right on looks like its gonna pop out!! How can you say that I am the father when he looks nothing like me in any shape or form.

(Crowd boos and wonders if a plant could be a father)

Maury: Well when you put it that way you are probably not the father, But there is still a very small chance you could be the father. What do you think Leader?...Leader?...are you listing?

Leader: Huh? What? Sorry, I knew Zetsu was gonna start his bitching on why he is not the father so I put in some ear plugs.

(Crowd and Maury laugh)

Maury: Konan what do you think?

Konan: I don't give a damn on who the father is just bring out the next moron so we can continue. Okay?

(Crowd cheers for Konan)

Zetsu: You two don't care at all do you?

Leader/Konan: Nope.

(Crowd laughs)

Maury: Alright lets bring out our next guest from the Akatsuki organization. Please welcome Sasori. Sasori come on out!

(crowd boos Sasori as he comes out of the entrance) (Sasori sits next to Zetsu with an annoyed look on his face)

Maury: Now Sasori why do you say you are not the father?

Sasori: Maury I am a WOODEN puppet with a HUMAN heart, the heart is the only thing on or attached to me thats human so it is Imposable for me to have fathered this kid. And you people used that gum wad on a stick thats lodged in your heads you could have figured that out for your selves..(mumbles about how stupid he thinks these people are)

Leader: No argument there

Konan: Nope.

Maury: Okay lets move on. Next is Deidara. Deidara come on out!

(crowd boos as Deidara comes out of the entrance) (Deidara sits next to Sasori)

Deidara: Shut up you philistines you wouldn't know good art let alone who the father of that kid is even if saw it for your selves, Un!
So I'm not gonna waste my time showing you worthless unworthy people my true art because...

Sasori: DEIDARA SHUT UP!!!

Kakuzu: God!! You can be worse at complaining than Hidan!!

Leader: Now stop your bitching and sit down!!

(Crowd cheers for Sasori, Kakuzu, and Leader for yelling at Deidara)

Maury: Now Deidara tell us why are you not the father?

Deidara: One: I'm eighteen Two: Never had a girlfriend Three: I have blonde hair and the kid has black hair. If you ask me Itachi has better chance of being the father than .

Maury: What about Tobi?

(All the Akatsuki on stage burst into laughter)

Kakuzu: That moron, ha ha ha!!

Deidara: I bet he doesn't even know were babies come from, Un.

Sasori: I wouldn't call him a member

Deidara: He is more like the organization's pet or punching bag, Un.

Maury: Well lets bring him out. Come on out Tobi!

(Crowd cheers as the excited Tobi comes on stage) (Tobi rushes over to Deidara's side, as Tobi tries to hug him Deidara punches him across the stage) (Tobi gets up and sits next to Deidara all happy like ^.^)

Maury: You seem a little excited?

Tobi: Tobi is excited because Tobi wants to be the father.

Maury: Thats good to hear. Now Tobi why do you think you are the father?

Tobi: Tobi talks to a lot of people and Deidara senpai said that Kisame could make a lady have a baby just by talking to them.

(The crowd and Maury stop and stare at Tobi wondering if really is that stupid.)

Deidara: Tobi if your going to start talking like an idiot then don't talk at all. Un. Now Listen Tobi there is no way you could be the father because if you were then that kid would be mentally retarded, and because everyone at the Akatsuki see you either as a pet or a punching bag.
So no women would ever go near..

Tobi: Senpai you talk a lot, he he he

(Complete Silence) (The next moment four security guys were holding Deidara away from Tobi who was hiding behind Maury's chair) (the Crowd was cheering Deidara on) (Deidara gets loose and punches Tobi into a camera) *We are experiencing technical difficulties* (camera comes back on) (Deidara siting with bruises on his face as Sasori is walking back to his seat with a broken bat in his hands and Tobi *still wearing his mask* has lumps stacked on each other all over his head)

Maury: Okay lets bring out our next guest, Please welcome Kisame, Come on out!

(Crowd cheers for Kisame *the blue fish guy* as he enters the stage) (He sits next to Tobi)

Maury: Hello Kisame, So tell us why you want to be the father?

Kisame: Well because I would be an awesome father, I would teach him to fight and to kick some serious ass and with a sword ha ha!

Deidara: You, The father? Ha, Have you looked in the mirror lately? You are a blue fish, You have gills under your eyes, And you have lungs.
If you were the father that kid would look like that pansy shark from the movie jaws!

Kisame: Hey that was my father!! and I thought he did a good job as jaws. Humph.

Deidara: You land shark freak!!

Kisame: Whiney brat!

Maury: Okay, okay. So Leader you said everyone chose a different name for the child, Correct?

Leader: Yes.

Maury: So in order of when you came on stage tell us the name you have chosen.

Leader: Damien

Konan: Angel

Kakuzu: Money

Zetsu: Either breakfast, lunch, or dinner, maybe snack, well it depends on my mood.

Sasori: I told you it's imposable!

Deidara: Don't complain just tell them. Un.

Sasori: Pinnocchio

Deidara: Detonation. Un.

Tobi: George, after my pet turkey that died on Thanksgiving.(Tobi starts crying) (Sasori and Deidara are smiling)*Sasori was the cook and Deidara supplied the turkey*in a future story*

Kisame: Bruce, Bruce was the name of my father.

Maury: Well those are some interesting names, After the break we will meet the final two members of the Akatsuki, Itachi, and Hidan.
and unknown to Itachi, His little brother Sasuke, and former partner Orochimaru are her in the studio audience. We'll be back after this.

To Be Continued...