Not mine…. Except for Bam!!!

Les gets shattered

"Oh Baby," I think, "if you can bludgeon the Italian Stallion like that, how about we find you a safer outlet for your fire tonight in my bed." She definitely could keep me warm tonight. I wouldn't complain about having her fiery warmth come apart over and over again tonight. What human heterosexual male would? I bet she is feisty in bed and she would be just what I need to chase away my thoughts of a certain someone. After all, I won't do relationships again, why not enjoy her warmth

As hard as I fight to push thoughts of a certain other woman out of my mind, she will not budge for long. One minute I was focused and then next, like the nickname Bobby and I gave her all those years ago bam, she was back. Back again occupying my mind and making me lose focus. I don't know why my mind finds it so amusing to bring her back up now after all these years to torture me all of a sudden. Ever since I saw that damn file spelling out exactly what I remembered to be her hopes and dreams; her chance to fly. Her best case scenario of her perfect life; only things missing from that file were her being that person and me as her husband.

I have no one to blame for that but myself. I know that. I live with that. I have nightmares about that. And yet there is nothing I can do about it to change that. I didn't deserve her. In the same breath that I thank God that I had a piece of her life, I curse the memory of her; willing myself to forget her luscious body, her breathy moans when I slid deep into her, the heart she had that allowed her to freely give you the shirt off her back, and lastly the inner strength she had that would frustrate the hell out of me one minute and then turn me on the next.

Sighing, I forcefully pushed my thoughts away from the other half of my soul that I foolishly pushed away so many years ago and back to the lovely distraction headed my way. Looking at the fiery vixen that I would end up fucking tonight while picturing her as Bam and trying to drive away my own stupidity and hurt for the night, I can't help but be amused at those she left in her wake.

She must have felt my gaze on her because she catches me staring like the horny bastard I am. I can only hope for the promise that her swaying hips are implying and that it will be fulfilled soon. She is absolutely sex personified as she saunters her fine ass, washboard flat stomach, and perky double d's over my way. I crave her devilish smirk and her closeness like I haven't in years and only then with one other person.

As soon as she nears, I want to ask her if she would like to play with a real gun, my gun. I wanted to show her that my gun wouldn't misfire no matter how many times or how many ways she handled it during the night.

I briefly wonder if my condom stash is enough for me and my new dark red headed sassy vixen. And then I felt it. The feeling that had the power to become my worst fear and greatest desire rolled into one. The feeling I only got when my soul mate was near, when Bam was near; the feeling of excitement and electricity rushing through my veins that only she could cause in me. I haven't felt that since Columbia a few years ago and I swear that then, that was a fevered hallucination. No way was she the one that rescued me, Rangeman, Bobby, and Tank from an evil and sick drug lord. No way was she here or there. I had to be wrong just like I was then.

But it doesn't take me long though to realize that I unfortunately was right this time.

Shock flooded my system and I swear I froze like a deer in the headlights as her sharp tongue lashed out at me causing me to fear literal lashes and whelps were forming on my body. The body she perused as she came closer to me, leaning in closer to me as she continued her attack. I catch her voice, the sweet sexy edgy southern drawl that attracted me so many years ago. The tone that I loved to provoke; the musical tone that declared she would love me into eternity. The tone that I nearly destroyed by walking away.

I tune into her words and cringe at them. "…You still like challenging women dontcha Les? Do you still like to conquer them then steal their torn panties as your trophy" she asks.

Horror and shame replace the shock in my brain. Is that what she really thinks? God no; please God no. That can't be how she remembers the night I made love to her for the first time; only time. How do I explain? Just jump in I guess. "Bam?…" and then she cuts me off from anything else I could say. Exasperating woman.

"So you do remember me? Do you remember promising me… you know what, never mind. This is neither the time nor place to get into this." God help me I thought my heart was already wounded enough. Apparently not cause bam, there goes my heart; shattered into a million pieces as she walks away from me as fast as her boots will carry her.

Turning away from the scene that would kill me if I let it, I just took off running. Running away from my problems; I ran to clear my head and get a handle on the situation. I ran away from my life. No worries of who is watching my back, no thoughts as to did I really care if I got taken out for good because I wasn't paying attention. Nothing except the pain I felt, her pain, my pain, our pain mattered.

Bam's Hurt and Tears

Walking away, Oh God did that hurt. No matter that he ripped my heart out years ago; it still hurt to see the lost regretful look flash over his face seconds before that damn blank face of his slammed into place. Stealing my resolve, I walk back over to Stephanie and Ric; trying to put Les where he belongs, in my past and behind me. The problem with that though is he never did do what he what he was supposed to do; why would he start now?

Coming up to join Ric and Stephanie on the sidewalk, I can't help but feel the exhaustion seep into my bones. I can't wait to get to a hotel so I can cry my heart out yet again over Les and get it over with. I have a job interview tomorrow and I will not let him interfere with my performance. He may have stolen my heart years ago but he will never steal this opportunity away from me. This is my chance for adventure. This is my time to fly like I have always wanted to.

As an adrenalin junkie, I went on missions all over this earth seeking the rush of success and one upping the slime of the world; it's time for me to cut back on my international missions and enemies now though. So here I am state side and searching for my same adrenalin fix with a few more controlled risks. My contract ended literally 28 hours ago and now here I am with old friends looking for new adventure here on home soil.

Thank God this isn't your typical boring 0900-1700 (9-5) job in a clinic with either the old decrepit or the worker's comp cons. I think I would have sent my address to the son of a Columbian drug lord I pissed off a few years ago if I had to endure that torture on a regular basis anymore. Enough was enough of that. I want to help those who help themselves and care enough to get back into the rotation again. I enjoyed that about my contract work. And if they were ex-military types that had buff bodies and the job was structured like the army with adventure opportunities, then so be it. Les will so not jeopardize me getting this if I have anything to say about it.

"So Steph, gonna tell me where I can find a semi-secure bunk to crash at? I think its time for me to call it a day where I can get settled in before my night run. I want to unwind after my long drive and get ready for my interview tomorrow." Yeah and center myself after a blast from the past.

"You're applying to Bobby's assistant rehab coordinator position? Tomorrow morning? You're that Bam?"

I can't help but ask her, "Is that a good thing or a bad thing to be THAT Bam?"

A sheepish look settles over her very expressive face as she answers me saying, "It's just that Bobby, Ranger, Tank and I…"

"Tank?" I think, then I shove that out of my mind to pay attention to the information she is letting slip. This might give me an edge in the morning.

"… well mostly me before Les got shot; didn't find enough reliable information via searches. We didn't even know if you were male or female. Only that you had an arrangement with some familiar contacts until you called. We didn't know much even then and especially that you and Lester were…"

I couldn't take her finishing that thought. Not tonight. Let me get my emotions back behind the wall I have carefully constructed over the years. "In the past, Steph; in the past and about 12 hours ago, I had an associate of mine give Ranger here, a call to let him know I was coming and give the major highlights. Then I decided to give Ric a little more heads up. I did try to be very vague about who I am though. Most spec ops and retired military guys don't like that it's not only a boy's club and that there is a female out there that is better than them."

I could tell she wasn't appeased by my answer but that I had intrigued her by saying I was better than the boys. As much as I really like her based off of first impressions and think we would be great friends, I can't help but think she's like a pit bull, never giving up until she is satisfied. Sigh.

"How did you block your information once Ranger got your name?" She couldn't help asking.

"Do you want to know now or can this wait till we do the interview away from prying ears tomorrow? Cause if you do want to know now, I will tell you while I drive to your directions. Just not out in the open here."

Ric, no Ranger, gotta remember to call him Ranger now, breaks in; "good idea Bam, I would like to know the answer to that question myself but it can wait till tomorrow mornings meeting. You can stay at Rangeman tonight and use the gym to run if you like."

"Thanks Ranger. I appreciate that and if you really don't mind I will take you up on that. Do you know how much longer the cops will keep us?"

"We're free to go, Morelli just didn't like the fact that when he verified your papers he was told to walk away even if you were to have killed 20 people in cold blood all in sight of the boys in blue." he responds shaking his head at me. "Another thing we will need to discuss in the morning Bam. But as for tonight, do you want to follow or ride along and I'll have one of my men bring your vehicle to the garage?"

"I'll drive; thanks. I already know where it is. I'm the silver four door jeep over there" I said nodding to my brand new wrangler.

Nodding to acknowledge me, he turns and asks, "Ready Babe?" and as if I hadn't had enough shock and things to think about tonight she replies, "I think I will ride with Bam. That is if she doesn't mind. I can make sure she doesn't get lost." Shit I think. Here comes the interrogation about Les. I can already see it in her eyes.

"Sure, let's roll. I'm really in need of that run." And maybe a stiff drink.

Lester's Not so Lonely Run—Bobby's POV

Earlier today I knew the shit would hit the fan. After Ranger called me into his office, shut the door and explained that he had received a call from THE GENERAL, not just a general but THE GENERAL, about a former contract worker of his that he was sending for the assistant rehabilitation job. He gave me a small piece of their background and I knew who it was and I knew both her and Lester were going to feel like they were sucker punched when they meet again. And I knew, Les would need someone to have his back when she showed up. I just had hoped it wouldn't be today and that I could have prepared him for it tonight like I had planned.

I kept my suspicions to myself because more than anything, I know that Bam was meant for this job. If Ranger knew what happened all those years ago, qualified or not, Bam would have never had a chance at an interview; just because she was that much of a distraction to Lester, he would have never allowed it. GENERAL or not.

When he became suspicious that I might know who THE GENERAL called to highly recommend, I did tell him that "yes that it was indeed the same Bam that I met my senior year of college; the same Bam that we lived with for the six months while we trained in Hattiesburg; the same Bam that was and will forever be like my sister." And that "yes, we did train her for self defense, better shooting, and other martial arts skills in exchange for her setting up our first fake identities, her hacking skills, and her wonderful messages after our training sessions." I also meant to tell him that she keeps all her important information under the assumed name of "Elizabeth Kari Jepko" but that never came out of my mouth. I guess we will get to see just how good Steph is and how many of Bam's names she can link to her; or even if she can find out her real name. Not even Ranger or Les know her real name. After all I did introduce them to her as my sister and then she introduced herself with the nickname she got in the training room.

I had kept in touch with her briefly over the years via email and I miss her dearly. She was there for me when I really needed her most back in college and I will never forget what she has done for me. I in turn was there for her as a true friend after she won her millions with the lottery one lucky spring break in Florida. Unlikely story I know, but true no less. My friend was dirt poor working her way through the gruelingly hard Athletic Training program and taking student loans to pay for books and food then BAM, after a trip to Florida with her parents, she was rich and could pay for all she needed or wanted with too many people trying to take advantage of her.

My Bam was and is a tough girl. That's why I know I have to be there for my partner now instead of her, my sister. As much as I would rather be there with her after what I know Lester did to her heart, I keep my eye out for what my partner and good friend needs.

The minute we hit the parking lot at Pino's, I saw her. She had lost the odd weight that kept her awkward and grew up to be a beautiful woman. She was hardly recognizable if you weren't looking too hard and remembered her unusual eyes. Back all those years ago, she was curvaceous and had at least 30 pounds of extra stuffing, but now there isn't a drop of fat where a small portion of fat would be acceptable and is curvier than Betty Boop with breast and butt cheek implants. All of what made her awkward and overweight was gone now. From the brief snippets THE GENERAL gave us and my knowledge that it was the hard working Bam we all loved, Ranger and I both knew she would be an asset to Rangeman and the perfect addition to the teams.

My only secret other than her name was that I knew she had strong feelings for Lester and that he loved her in return no matter how he denied it. I knew just how strongly they felt for each other and I knew how badly Les hurt Bam. But one thing I didn't know was what to do to lessen the impact of Bam's arrival for either Lester or for Bam.

As Lester's partner and friend, I have always had his back; but this time, I have no clue how to do that. Years ago, after a mission had gone badly in Columbia; Les told me what had happened with the woman that I thought of like a sister and I barely contained myself from killing him. One small wrong step now and that could become a reality though. I know where to hide the body already.

After Bam confronted Lester, I saw her head for Ranger and Steph and saw Lester run from his problems like he did all those years ago. Instead of going after her, he ran away from her and I am forced to follow after him to watch his back.

I can't help but think while he runs and I follow to keep up to watch his back that he was a pussy when it came to relationships both then and now.

Before Bam, he was a ladies man. After Bam, he never bedded the same woman twice. I guess after finding the love of your life, there just is no one you want to see twice. After all, if you treat the love of your life with the "Wham, Bam, thank you ma'm" routine, how do you expect to treat the others you bed trying to forget her. Stupid bastard.

After what feels like hours, we finally made it back to Rangeman and I for one am glad. I need to talk to Les before the interview tomorrow morning and running while talking and watching his back is just one too many things to do while multitasking for me.

"Lester," I say to him. "Are you going to be ok with her interviewing tomorrow? Do I need to find someone else to run the physical training drills?"

"I'm fine. I will be there," he replies gruffly. "Just drop it. I was just taken off guard that she was here, that gorgeous, and trying for the job as your assistant. I can deal. I'm heading for the shower. See you at 0600 for workouts; sparring first." Then he left, heading for the security of his own place; no doubt building the defense walls to his heart stronger as the minutes pass.

Now I just need to track down where Bam is staying and make sure she is ok and I don't need to kill Lester while he sleeps tonight.

Bam's Long Short Drive

Steph and I took off across the lot to my Jeep. We loaded ourselves up and I cranked the car happy to find that my mp3 player kicked on my favorite Santana instrumental. Maybe it will mellow her out where she forgets to question me. I can't help but hope.

As Carlos Santana's magical fingers play Samba Pa Ti, I relax into my driving zone. My passenger fidgets around trying to get comfortable and I can't help but briefly think that all those years ago, I was just like her. Now I wouldn't know how to fidget if I tried.

"Take a right at the upcoming street," she says. I nod to acknowledge her and prepare to take a right while watching the rearview mirror. Always alert, always aware of my surroundings even though I know that I will more than likely have a black suv on my tail in a few seconds. Ranger won't chance his Babe and I don't blame him.

Snapped out of my thoughts, Steph starts her inquisition. "How did you meet Ranger, Tank, Bobby, and Lester?" she asks.

I think about ignoring her but I stop to think that she could be a great person to have on my side during the hiring process. After enough time passes for her to think I wasn't answering, I reach to turn the radio down a little more and reply, "I met Bobby in college. He introduced me to the others a year later when they were at Camp Shelby for some training." Short, sweet, and to the point with minimal information being given out; the men of few words I use to work with would be proud.

I swear she rolled her eyes at me and muttered under something under her breath about getting answers was like pulling teeth. Oh well. What fun is Q and A when not trying to dodge, redirect, and when having to answer being vague?

"How did you meet Bobby in college?" damn she is getting specific. "Take a left by the way."

I take the left and answer her, "Bobby was a runner on the track team and I helped rehab him after an injury even though I wasn't assigned to his sport. We just hit it off after that." Hitting it off was an understatement. We were like brother and sister without fighting and watching out for each other. No matter how long the distance between us or how long it's been since our last email to each other I know when I see him again, it will be the same way now too.

"Keep straight through this intersection," she responded. Then fired her next question going for the heart of what she wanted to know; Lester Santos. "I noticed you talked to Lester back at Pino's. He seemed shocked to see you. What were you to him?"

"Going for the jugular there aren't you Steph. If I say I would rather not talk about him would you leave it at that or would you just bring it up during my interview tomorrow where I would have to answer you?" I ask her.

She starts to respond but I cut her off. "Look I'm sorry if that came off bitchy but I'm tired and just got the shock of my life by seeing him again. Please excuse my behavior, I'm sorry. But tell me this; would my answer effect my getting this job? I know I would have to work with him but would my answer cause you or your Ranger to say that I was too much of a distraction for him and he was too much of one for me as well?"

She becomes awfully quiet till she tells me to turn at the next stop sign and then answers my question. "I understand where you are coming from. If it will make you feel any better, I will keep what you tell me to myself. How about we get a tub of Ben and Jerry's your choice and we can have girl talk so you can get your emotions out before your interview in the morning."

I stare at her a second then reply, "sure, but I don't eat ice cream. That stuff will kill you, too much processed sugar. How about some yogurt or fruit smoothies? I have some fresh fruit in the back that I have as snacks for driving. You've never lived till you tried my frozen banana slushy." I can't tell if she was appalled or horrified more by my suggestions or she just thought I was demented for telling her I didn't eat ice cream. Probably all three were a tie.

"Sure, you can eat some of Ranger's yogurt and I'll have ice cream. Then you can spill."

I can't help but ask myself what I have gotten myself into as she says to turn into a parking garage while she aims a remote at the sensor to lift the gate. Welcome to Fort Knox, I think as I drive through the garage to park.

Les's Lonely Night of Memories

After Bobby followed me from Pino's and up to my apartment at Haywood, he starts in on me. Granted not badly because if that was the case, I'm sure he already knows where to bury my body and how to dispose of all the evidence.

"Lester," he says to me. "Are you going to be ok with her interviewing tomorrow? Do I need to find someone else to run the physical training drills?" Huh, like that will ever happen. I want to see what she can do. I may love her and have hurt her, but if I know anything about the person she probably still is, she isn't looking for someone to go easy on her and I'm just enough of a bastard to put her through the gauntlet tomorrow morning.

"I'm fine. I will be there," I reply pissed that he would question me. "Just drop it. I was just taken off guard that she was here, that gorgeous, and trying for the job as your assistant. I can deal. I'm heading for the shower. See you at 0600 for workouts. Sparring first" I can't help but tell him. If I can't kick my own ass for leaving her, then he may as well. I better remember to get Tank or Ranger to pull him off me before he kills me.

Normally Bobby isn't better on the mats than I am, but for the heart ache I have caused Bam, I'm sure he will have his mean on in the morning. I just hope he remembers to avoid my face. Facial bruises are a bitch when we do distractions and I'm in on the inside.

As I strip for my shower, I couldn't help but take a trip down memory lane to the first time I had heard about the fiery dark red head and met her for myself all those years ago.

Just out of Ranger school, my platoon and I, which consisted of me, Ranger (who was still called Ric at the time), Bobby, and Tank (who was still called Pierre or giant by most), were bound for Iraq, but before we deployed, we had to go through desert training. We were shipped to Hattiesburg, Mississippi to Camp Shelby just a few short days after our Ranger school graduation.

Bobby was excited about being back in Hattiesburg; after all he graduated from one of their local universities and still had friends there. I was just happy about the college girls and sorority sluts. You could always score in a college town. If you couldn't get pussy while in a college town, then by ever law of manhood, you should be stripped of your testosterone and nicknamed Sally. Ranger and Tank were just along for the ride; just there for training not really caring to visit the local dives with me. Whatever, more for me.

After catching the cargo flight to Hattiesburg from our home base, we settled in for the bumpy ride to our new training facility. After a few minutes of silence, Bobby pipes up and asks us if we want to stay in the barracks or off base in a house with a friend of his if possible. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what our answer was.

"Off base," we all responded. You can never have free reign over what you do if you are on base. Always go for off base if safe or possible.

"Where you thinking of us staying man? We should only be here a maximum of six months, who would lease us a house for that short amount of time?" Ric asks.

Shaking his head, Bobby replies, "not renting man. I've got a friend, a sister really, that lives up here and goes to school. If she has space, she will let us live with her."

Great, stuck in a little tiny house with three other men and a woman with possible housemates that was off limits because she was Bobby's sister and would put rules on overnight visitations; just what I wanted. NOT! "Bobby, the four of us and her and her housemates will all be tripping over each other. How about we just find a place that we can rent?"

"It's not like that," he replied. "She has a huge place and her housemates are a married couple that shares a suite above the garage. She should have room. It just may take some convincing for her to let three other strangers in her house, but we can ask her. We can swing by the school after we report and drop in on her before whatever afternoon practice she has to attend."

"Practice? Is she a cheerleader or a Dixie Darling that I have heard Hattiesburg was famous for?" I ask Bobby.

"Knock it off Les, she is my sister and off limits. Plus you're not her type anyways."

For the first time since agreeing to live off base, Tank spoke up. "Why don't you tell us about her; that way we know if we want to live with her and if we can help alleviate her anxiety about opening her home up to us?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Just tell us her bio, stats, character quirks, and how you met her" Ranger adds.

"I met her in the athletic training room at school. She is an athletic training student. She was working with either the football team that semester, and I was injured jumping hurdles the practice before and came in for morning treatments the next day and there she was. She was toe to toe with a 350 pound linebacker and he looked like he was going to tear her to pieces when she suggested that he get into the cold whirlpool. So naturally I step in and try to talk to linebacker into taking it up with his trainer and not yell at the girl who was assigned to help him through his ACL recovery exercises and treatments." Chuckling, Bobby went on to tell us, "I remember thinking that the cute little sweet chubby red head better think twice about going toe to toe with someone that could literally squish her. She shot daggers at me with her eyes all morning for trying to interfere. But you know what the kicker was? She had the linebacker squalling like a titty baby before I left for classes that morning. She didn't need my help. She knew her information and tapped into her evil genius to show him who was boss. After that the boys started calling her devil. They thought she sold her soul to the devil for all the information and knowledge she used in their rehab sessions to get their sorry asses back on the field. It was widely known that she was the training student you wanted in the training room helping you get back in the action and that if you weren't serious about getting back, you better not waste her time. My injury wasn't very serious but I was curious about her. I asked her for help one afternoon when she wasn't busy. She put me though one of the toughest workouts I had ever done and had me back on the track within a week."

By this time, our plane was landing and we were hoping into the jeep that we had request meet us at the landing strip. After buckling in, Bobby continues to sing the devil's praises. "She is about 5'5" and slightly chubby but she is feisty. She is a sharp tongued devil that doesn't put up with shit. She is a strong person. When we were here at school together, she was in her first year of her program but she knew more than the seniors did. She is very intelligent, doesn't drink, rarely goes out partying and would be an asset for us to live with. She gives great messages and could probably help with our identification problem."

That caught Ric's attention. "Explain while you drive Brown; let's head out to meet her."

We drove about fifteen minutes through Hattiesburg traffic while Bobby explained that not only was she gifted in rehabilitation but computer hacking as well. Finally we came to the University of Southern Mississippi. We stopped at the entrance, grabbed a parking permit, and were on our way to the training room. We pulled up to the football field got out of the jeep and entered a back door to what looked like a room with tons of treatment tables and a state of the art swimming pool that could be used for water resistance.

The next thing I knew, a shorter beauty on the chubby side was dropping the bottle in her hand and throwing herself at Bobby. This must be the devil herself.

Bobby hugged her and spun her till she beat his shoulder and told him to drop her. "What are you doing here Bro? I thought you were off on an assignment already. Are you staying with me while you're in town? Are you going to introduce your friends that could give the football players a run for their money in muscle mass?" A whirlwind I can't help but think of her as. One minute she was messaging an athlete then bam, she was excitedly talking to Bobby and inviting a total of four Army Rangers to stay with her.

"Y'all came on a good day," she says in her sweet sultry southern voice. "I'm done when I finish his ice message in fifteen minutes. We can go back to the house to catch up and get acquainted."

She didn't really even bat an eye at our size or that Ric and I were Hispanic and Pierre was black. She just welcomed us to come home with her and didn't even eye us in a sexual manner. Maybe I'm losing my touch if she doesn't think of me as the hunk of meat I am. I can't help but see how she will handle my banter and see if I can salvage my ego. "Honey, are you suggesting that we get acquainted with each other," I ask in my sexy rumbling voice with a hint of my Spanish accent and finish in my regular tone "or that we all get to know each other?"

"Wise guy aren'tcha sugar? Well if you really do want to get acquainted with me, I have to tell you, I'm not interested," she said in a perfect sex kitten voice. She had come up to my side and was running her finger up and down my arm and then bam, she was back to being the devil she was nicknamed after and telling me in her southern accent that, "You're too full of yourself. I could have five just like you in a snap of my finger but like I said, not interested but thanks for asking." And like that I was dismissed and issued a challenge that I was going to love winning.

It wasn't love at first sight. It was interest and testosterone at first words.

We followed her back to her place twenty minutes later and grilled out on her patio shooting the breeze and crashing with her that night. She invited us to stay and we were there till we deployed.

Stepping out of the shower, and shaking off the memories of how it all started, I couldn't help but wish to be back in her good graces and on the receiving end of her sexy playful banter again.

Sighing as I got into bed, I think that if the memories of her keep flowing like right they are now, I can tell it's going to be a long lonely sleepless night for me.