Second chapter. Thank you to all those who reviewed my story. Before I start the story, I am now warning you.

This fan fic is filled with drama, turmoil, torture, insecurities and whatever negativities you may call it. If you're a hardcore IchiHime fan, just like I am, prepare your hankies (LMAO). Oh well.

And to those who asked, NO. This is NOT a one-shot. DirectX07 and her other pen names do not do one shots. :D

Ichigo and Orihime don't belong to me. And remember, I WARNED you.

Chapter 2

Doubts

Do you love me? Do you not love me?

It doesn't matter to me either way,

The day Inoue Sora died.

My brother died, and you could say it was my fault. Indeed, it might be my fault. My petty self, whom I thought and recognized as cheerfulness, everything turned to dust the day my brother died.

How silly I was for not liking those hair clips he gave me. I might have been trying to grow, trying to be more mature of my preferences. I disregarded his gift, calling the clips childish.

I could still hear his voice.

"Orihime, please," he said in a pleading voice. "They're wonderful. I took some part of my salary just for it."

"Well you shouldn't have bought it," I said in a frustrated voice. "You could have bought more important things."

I was a brat. What I didn't know was that an argument would be the last conversation that I would have with him.

Night fell as I clutched myself in the corner of our apartment.

Where is onii-chan? I asked myself, eyes scanning the room. He should be home by now.

Thunder broke loose outside. I shivered. I hated the rain. It made me sad and somehow scared. It was like its watery embrace would be my demise – drowning me in pain.

I should apologize to onii-chan.

A knock interrupted my thoughts. I opened the door, shyly peeking out.

Two policemen who were soaking wet by the rain were standing outside. I opened the door wide this time, eyeing them with question.

"Are you Inoue Orihime?" the man with glasses and a mustache asked.

"Hai," I whispered back.

"If you would kindly come with us," the other man with a broken nose said. "Your brother has been in a traffic accident and is now being taken to the nearest clinic."

I could not explain the feeling I felt. It was like a bucket of ice was being poured down my entire being. My knees felt like they were melting, but I found myself running towards the rain, guided by the two officers who came to inform me of the dreadful news.

Lights that passed as I was in that car were blurred. I did not know what to think. I prayed – prayed silently.

Lord, let my brother be okay.

When the car came to a stop, I ran outside just as an ambulance stopped too.

My hands gripped my sides as the back door of the vehicle was being opened, revealing a the ashen face of my brother, unconscious.

At this, I screamed.

"Onii-chan!!!"

I rushed to his side. He was cold – so damnably cold. There was no trace of life in his hands. His once smiling face was no more. It was pale, so very pale.

I shook my head. This wasn't happening. There's no way that this could possibly happen. Tears of rejection stung my eyes as my heavy feet followed the movements of the stretcher. I held on to myself as I looked up in denial.

But when I saw the nurse's regretful face, I screamed once again,

"ONII-CHAN!!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!!"

It was a scream that pierced the cold night. It was a scream that tore up the peace of the raining skies. It was a scream that stabbed through my heart. It was a scream of torture, horror – as the sickening truth came down upon me that my brother might not have a chance to live.

Yet I still hoped.

Yes, that hope was what might have killed me. Wanting something you might not get – something that's impossible to get.

A doctor with black hair and with an untended growth of hair on his face appeared to take control of the situation. But my mind wouldn't register what happened next. I was being ushered away by the nurse's gentle hands, taking me inside the house which was beside the clinic.

My tears wouldn't seem to stop. My eyes weren't growing weary, but my soul seemed burdened. I shrank in the cushioning folds of the sofa.

I was in a living room of a house. The clinic was privately-owned, now I knew.

I hung my head low. Shivers ran through my spine as I shook my head to remove thoughts of what might happen. I just wanted to get stuck on that situation. I don't want to know anything or any news that might make my miserable life worse.

Onii-chan's face – the pale, lifeless face, flashed in my mind like a lightning realization. I closed my eyes as harsh sobs consumed me. I choked and sputtered as something clogged my throat, like bile. I thought I was going to vomit with the pain I felt in my chest.

I found it hard to breathe.

Just then, I felt someone occupy the space beside me and laid a warm hand on my head.

I looked up hesitantly, hastily wiping the tears off my face.

The hand belonged to a boy who was about my age. He wore a serious expression on his face as he assessed me with concerned, brown eyes. He had a strange hair color – bright orange that seemed to be arranged in disarray on his head.

"Just cry it all out," he said, giving me a small smile.

My eyes filled up with more tears as I couldn't restrain myself. I leaned in into the boy's shoulder and cried my soul and heart out.

"Orihime-chan," a gruff voice said.

I looked up once more and saw the regretful expression in the doctor's face and eyes. I started to cringe and shake.

"I'm sorry," he added, his voice filled with sadness.

I struggled hard but in the end, I collapsed again to waves of hysterical cries. The boy beside me held on to my shoulders and moved me towards his comforting shoulder, letting me lean on him for support.

"Take care of her Ichigo," I heard the doctor say.

Onii-chan, I thought as I cried out loud. Why did you leave me? Was it my entire fault? Were you sad as you walked home because I didn't accept your gift? When you felt sad, did you lose your concentration? Did you not see the car hurtling towards you? Because of me? Because of me?

Answer me, Onii-chan!

I knew. I knew, despite all my questions. I knew it was my fault.

"It's… my fault," I choked out.

"No, it's not," the boy's voice said.

I was mildly surprised that for someone so young, his voice could be so full of conviction.

"What would I do?" I asked wildly. "I'm alone. Onii-chan's gone… why?!"

"There are just some things in life we have to let go of," he added.

An hour has passed and I felt myself growing weak and tired from all the things that happened to me. I felt like I was going to die from the pain.

I was resentful of myself, for acting that way to my brother. I fished the contents of my skirt's pocket and took out the pins that he gave me earlier.

I stared at it with shaking fingers and closed my hand around it, as if feeling the remnants of my brother on it.

I vowed to wear it every day of my life.

I didn't know what to do with myself without onii-chan. He was my pillar of support – the one who gave me a reason to live, the one who always smiled with me through times of pain.

What would the childish and helpless me do?

But the boy who comforted me seemed to give me hope again – a hope that I shouldn't deserve, hope that I didn't want to feel.

"What's… your name?" I asked hesitantly, my voice breaking.

He stared at me with a mild expression. "Kurosaki Ichigo," he answered.

"Kurosaki-kun," I breathed out. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said, moving away, "Inoue Orihime-san."

The doctor offered me to stay in their house for the night. The thought that I have no one to go home to now hit me like a slap. I lowered my gaze as I tried to take in the pain.

Two girls, obviously Kurosaki Ichigo's younger sisters offered me kind smiles and warm gazes for comfort. I looked back at them, trying to fill my eyes with even a faint trace of warmth, just to return some of their generous and caring gestures.

Kurosaki-kun was still observing me with concern and despite my depressed self, I found a blush threatening to creep to my face.

But the larger and darker part of my emotions took the best of me. My eyes started filling up again as Kurosaki-kun offered me his clothes to change into.

"Thank you," I whispered to him, taking what he gave me. I went to their bathroom to change.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror as I entered and I felt disgusted looking at the distraught and helpless creature it reflected.

But I said nothing and meekly changed to Kurosaki-kun's clothing, which were a bit loose for me and smelled clean and good.

"Orihime-chan," Dr. Kurosaki Isshin, as he introduced himself a few moments ago, said. "You can sleep in Ichigo's room."

I blushed slightly. "Is that… okay?" I asked.

Isshin chuckled as he patted my head. "Absolutely okay. Make yourself at home, okay?"

Home, I thought weakly. Would I ever have that?

Onii-chan was the only home I had left.

I walked towards Kurosaki-kun's room. I knocked meekly.

He opened the door, a small smile on his face. "I prepared the bed for you."

"Ano…" I said, "Is that okay? Where are you going to sleep if I'm taking up your bed?"

"I already have a futon laid out on the floor. You can have the bed," he replied, motioning me to his bed.

I sat reluctantly as he sat down on his futon. He looked at me and said, in a voice that was a bit assertive, "Go to sleep. You need it."

I smiled a bit, my lips shivering a little. "Hai," I replied.

He turned off the lamp and I lied down the bed, staring up at the dark ceiling.

Another feeling – a wave of solitude enveloped me as memories of my beloved brother flashed in my mind like a whirlwind, engulfing me.

I felt hot tears trickle down my cheeks again. I turned away from where Kurosaki-kun was, afraid that he might see me crying.

But as wave after wave of sadness enveloped my frail self, I couldn't help but sniff. The sobs were unstoppable, like a tidal wave that have succeeded in drowning me.

I felt the part of the bed behind me sink as a familiar warm hand touch my shoulder.

It was Kurosaki-kun.

I sat up and looked at him. "I'm sorry I'm being noisy," I apologized.

"You have every right to cry," he commented.

He was offering himself to lean on again and I gladly accepted the offer, pouring out all my emotions towards him. Observing him, it was as if he knew what pain it was like to lose someone you loved.

Then again, as I noticed, he didn't seem to have a mother.

He held on to me as I cried endless rivers of tears in mourning for my brother.

We stayed on like that to the wee hours of the night, until I finally rested in a deep sleep whilst clinging to him.

And when I woke up, we were lying together in his bed, his arms seemed to wrap protectively around me.

And from then on, I knew when I cried into his shoulder, I started to give a part of myself to him.

To Kurosaki Ichigo. That small boy who held on to me and tried to absorb some of my pain. That small boy who seemed to know worlds in his eyes. That small boy who seemed to take on the weight of the world on his shoulders.

No matter how much I wish for it,

There are a lot of things in this world that can't be changed.



End of Chapter 2. I had to cut it there. Thanks for those who read and reviewed. :D Still hoping for more support! :)