Disclaimer: I do not under any circumstances, own Phil of the Future. If I did, you would here cuss words in the dialog, && Owen && Via would be together, && Pim would have a boyfriend named Jim. hah. Just kidding about the last part. hehe.

Summary: No one could even believe that the beautiful and perfect Keely Teslow would do something so self-mutilating to herself.What when Phil finds out the secret to what Keely's been doing. What happens he sees the Real Keely Teslow.

Shout Outs to reviewers; Thank you for the 7 reviews I got. Even if 1 wasn't exactly a review. More like a flame. But it's okay. I dealed. I've written other stories that have gotten more flames than that. I'm over it. hehe.

Kmvb: You're right. Keely shouldn't have turned to cutting. But sometimes you can't help but do stupid things. Sadly, enough. I used to cut myself too. It was "the only pain I could control.". Thank you for your wonderful review.

Clipman: I am deeply sorry that you did not like the chapter. && I really had no way of ending that chapter, so I threw in the Phil dreaming segment. Sorry if you didn't like it. Hopefully this chapter will change your mind about the fic being "a load of crap". Thanks for the review anyway.

tRuEaCtReSs985: You have been a great reviewer of my POTF stories. It was great to be able to talk to you && help you on myspace. Thank you for your great review.

Jenxar: Yes, very intense. Lol. Sorry there wasn't much left for you to read more about. But this chapter will be up very soon, probably before you even read this. well duhh because it's apart of the chapter but still. Thank you for your review.


Life ain't always beautiful.

Chapter 2 - So cut my wrists and black my eyes.

Created by: Andrea Shea.


6:36.

Her alarm clock screamed.

Keely Teslow laid there, she had been up for more than an hour. Her blue eyes were wide, and the bags under them were red, puffy, and huge.

The things that happened last night came flooding back to her, making her eyes swell up with tears yet again. She kept thinking it was a dream, and that she didn't self-mutilate herself. That she was smart enough not to do that.

But she'd roll up her sleeve, && sure enough, they'd be right there. It was hard enough to believe that she did that, but it was harder to believe that her mother had acted the way she did towards her. She didn't understand why her mother was so full of rage that she would blurt something so horrible as "you're the reason your father left".

That would be unbearable for any teenage, or anyone for that matter to endure. It made her cry just thinking about it. But she needed to get up. She had to face another day. She thought about just saying to her mom that she was sick but she didn't want to have to look at her mom, or stay home with her.

She threw the covers over herself, && slowly walked over to her mirror. All she saw was ugly. No, that's not the right word. Gross, Horrendous, makes you wanna throw up a little in your mouth. Yeah, that kind of thing. Oh great, she began to think, now I'm gonna go aneorexic. "Maybe that's why Phil doesn't like me."

Phil? Where did he come from? Phil hadn't come into that conversation or thought, what made him enter her mind at that moment. She thought of how he would react if he saw what she had done, what she was probably going to do from now on. Wow, she was so negative. Thinking she'd do this for the rest of her life? No she wouldn't. She couldn't.

She wasn't crazy. She wasn't.

"I'm not crazy." She whispered to herself.

Hearing herself say it made her begin to believe that she most certainly was. But hey, crazy was the new sane. hah.

What a joke.


Phil Diffy walked through the halls. His dream had officially freaked him out, && he was anxiously waiting for Keely to come to school. He had to know that she was alright. He didn't know what he'd do if she was hurt. Yeah, that's right he cared that much for her. He turned the corner, and there stood his blonde best friend. He sighed in relief as he non-chalantly walked over to her.

"Keely?" He said from behind her. She had been going through her locker.

She jumped. "PHIL?!! Oh hey, I-I didn't see you, umm. there, yeah. there." She said, stuttering.

Why the hell am I stuttering? You're making it seem like something is wrong! Way to go Teslow, why don't you just shout it out to him, I mean he can obviously tell something happened. STUPID!

"Keely?" She snapped back to reality. "Yeah??" She whispered, not looking him in the eyes. "What's wrong? Did something happen last night?" He asked. She brought her gaze to him. "NO. Why would there be anything wrong?"

"Well, that's what I'm trying to figure out, you seem really jumpy today, are you sure there's nothing wrong." He asked, he didn't mean to be so persistant but he knew something happened.

"NO THERE IS NOTHING WRONG, STOP ASKING. I'M FINE. DON'T YOU THINK I WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU IF THERE WAS SOMETHING?!!" She yelled, before slamming her locker shut and running off to homeroom.

"KEELY- Keel..!" Phil shouted to her running room, but of course, she didn't turn around and walk back to him. Nah, that would be way too easy.

"FUCK!" He exclaimed as he slammed his locker shut.

His dream had come true, something seriously had happened to his best friend, and at the moment, it was scaring him. He didn't like the fact that she wasn't telling him what was wrong. And yes, there was something wrong. He wasn't stupid, he knew his best friend. He ran his fingers through his hair angrily and headed off to his homeroom as well.


Keely hadn't run to homeroom, she had run to the bathroom. As she threw the door open she collapsed on the tiled floor. If it wasn't for the fact that she was so upset, she would've been freaking out and going crazy with the GERM-X for sitting on the ground. But right now, she didn't give a fuck.

"I yelled at him, just like she yelled at me..." She whispered, repeating it over and over again. Her sobs were becoming heavy as she remembered the yelling that occurred last night. She tensed before letting out a huge breath that sounded more like a cough/moan.

She wished she could apologize to Phil, but he probably hated her for yelling at him, and he probably didn't want anything to do with her at the moment.

She slowly stood up, walking towards the mirror.

Damn did she hate mirrors today. Her mascara and eyeliner were running, and her eyes were so blurry that her nose looked like her ear.

"Why can't I be good enough...I'm not good enough for my father to stay, and I'm not good enough to keep myself from yelling at the only person that actually cares...:" Well now it was probably cared.

She opened her purse. She pulled out a safety pin.

Hmm...she wondered if it was sharp enough...

She knew she shouldn't be doing it at school, but she couldn't help it, she was hurting, and it was becoming her only resource of feeling better.

Slowly, she slid the safety pin hard across her wrist. Blood seaped through the slit. The feeling came back, the feeling of power over herself.

The words came back into her mind..."The only pain I can control..."

Yeah, it truely was the only pain that felt right to her, actually it didn't even feel as pain. It felt really good. She cried alittle more as she did it three more times.

One.

Two.

Three...

Blood began to fall into the sink. She gasped, the feeling was intoxicating.

Suddenly, the door flew open.

It was Via.

"SHIT." Keely yelled as she shoved the safety pin into her purse.

She gasped as she saw blood in the sink && Keely shoving a bloody safety pin into her bag.

Her eyes stared in horror at her best friend.

"Keely?! What the hell were you doing with that safety pin?!!"

Damn.


Finally got done with the chapter. Sorry took so long.

Very short chapter, but it's a good one. I'm thinking.

Should have another up in acouple days hopefully.

loveyouguys.

AndreaShea.