Author: Bookworm
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Something to do with a brown paper bag... Missing scenes post S4 ep.6
AN: A little fun piece I wrote. I wasn't satisfied with the ending of the episode - literally felt like it stopped mid air. After a rather significant ordeal on Sydney's part, it's hard to imagine either of them will settle for a 2 minute visit inside Medical...
I Wish You Could…
[Post S4-6]
Now that I'm no longer under the influence of hallucinogens, my first thought is to apologize for my baseless accusations when all that Vaughn did was to risk everything to hunt down the antidote.
He'd also risked the scorn of my father. When my headache got so excruciating I couldn't even sit up, he rubbed my back and my temples to offer some relief, no matter how minimal. Since my father has never been hands-on, he is rather limited when it comes to extending physical comfort. I'm quite certain he considers it a sign of weakness when a man appears tender and attentive. Despite the look of disdain my dad shot him, Vaughn wouldn't leave my side and left him with most of the transportation arrangement to Prague.
I was shifting in and out of consciousness after they gave me the antidote, but I could feel Vaughn's hands on me the whole time. He carried me on and off the van and the plane. He held me in silence, wiped my forehead when I broke out in cold sweat and whispered "Syd, hold on, you're gonna be okay." He only left Medical Services when they told him I would be sedated for a while for them to run all the tests.
I have no idea how long I've slept but I'm feeling much better. I eye him approach my room and am strangely nervous about seeing him.
"Hey"
"Hey" Vaughn seems a little tentative, almost like he's afraid to upset me - while I think I'm the one who needs to apologize.
"Vaughn, what I said to you... what I did..."
"Syd, you weren't yourself." He is quick to dismiss and he wouldn't let me take that burden.
"No." Though true, I also know he has been more than patient, respecting my wish to take things slow while I try to sort out my unresolved issues about the past three years. I owe it to him to stop being wishy-washy. But he's always gracious with me, since the beginning. He might be displeased, even angry at times, but he never took advantage of situations where I was clearly the one in the wrong to rub into my face. When my cool head prevailed after, and I realized how unfairly I had treated him, I often felt horrible seeing how much my impulsivity hurt him. I still wonder why he'd so willingly put up with me. Every time he does that, I know he has loved me unconditionally - and even though everything's changed, some things don't. And those are the things that will rebuild what we may have thought lost but has actually remained unharmed all along.
I push myself up to kiss him. For I now know the truth is louder than the fears inside my head. But why is there a spider on my bed? Am I still hallucinating all of this? I feel fine but I am suddenly alarmed.
Another thing that hasn't changed - Vaughn still knows exactly what I think, 100% of the time. He smiled and quietly got rid of the spider.
"My father liked spiders. He said they were good luck."
"I've never heard of that"
"No?" He pauses and I can sense he is holding back so much of what he wants to say to me. Instead, he just smiles and says, "Get some rest." He tucks me back in bed,
"I'll see you tomorrow."
"Okay."
As soon as he walks out of my room, I wish I'd asked him to stay. Maybe this will give me time to think.
I grow restless after about an hour. It's after 10 at night and activities at APO are finally dying down, with just the night staff in the office and at Medical. I reach for my phone, knowing Vaughn wouldn't be asleep yet. I don't think bunking with Eric is the greatest arrangement as he seems to get much better rest whenever he stays over with me. At least I do. If I can't have him in my bed tonight, I want to at least hear his voice.
The phone didn't ring for long, "Hi, I couldn't sleep ... Is it okay if we talk for a while?"
"Syd, you know you can always talk to me... Are there more spiders bothering you?"
"No, but it's so cold and quiet in here. I want to go home."
"Once they clear you tomorrow, I'll take you home... Okay? Besides, Weiss isn't home yet, I think he might be at your place - don't think you need that headache tonight." He laughs.
"He almost stayed over couple nights ago when the hallucinations first started. You think we need to talk about this?"
"I think we do... but later... Just remind me to tell you about Sally Benson."
"I wish you could stay with me... tonight..." I say quietly.
"Yeah?"
"More than anything..." Might as well tell him the truth.
"You know I never want to deny any of your wishes..." And with that statement, I hear the glass door slide open and in come Michael Vaughn in t-shirt and sweatpants, holding a small brown bag. "Want to play sleepover?"
I'm not sure if my smile has been this wide for a long while but I grin shyly from ear to ear, "Vaughn, you can get in trouble for this."
"I took care of the nurse at the station... And I'm sure I can talk Marshall into handling any incriminating video." He walks over and sits on my bed. "You're not gonna care once you see what I have in this bag."
He reaches into the brown paper bag and produces my favorite coffee ice-cream and a spoon, with that irresistible smile of his plastered sweetly on his always handsome face - you can tell I'm swooned even before getting into my ice-cream.
"I handed the nurse a double fudge chocolate and she just mouthed to me she would be in the kitchen for a while." He says mischievously. "Besides, she knows I can do a much better job taking care of you..." He opens the lid and starts feeding me a spoonful of ice-cream. Nothing has tasted this good before.
Michael Vaughn has just rendered me speechless the last several minutes, as he continues to spoon ice-cream into my mouth and I completely indulge myself in the taste and the sight of my two best treats.
"I'm only concerned with the rate you go at this ice-cream... Didn't you just tell me you were cold?" He teases.
I pause from my frozen vice, grab the tub and the spoon from him as I return the favor and start sharing. "Now that you're here with me, I'll make good use of your extremely hot body." Ha - I think I just saw a faint blush on Vaughn's face ... His lips curl in amusement.
"So Vaughn, you weren't really planning to go home tonight?"
"I wasn't sure if you actually wanted company." He says poignantly. "But I wanted to surprise you with ice-cream anyway. So I figured I would go back to Eric's to change out of my work clothes, grab the ice-cream before the store closed and head back to APO to sneak you the treat. You saved me some embarrassment when you called." He leans in, kisses me and it's even sweeter than the heavenly ice-cream we just finished.
"Vaughn, I've never stopped wanting to, needing to be with you... I was just... afraid to..." I try to choose the right words.
"I understand, Syd. We need to talk... and we will, soon... just not tonight. I know your head still hurts a bit - so let me get you back to sleep and I promise we will talk about everything as soon as you're ready to." His eyes are pleading.
I nod, "Okay, sounds like a good plan. Can I snuggle with you now?"
He chuckles, tucks me in and lies protectively beside me with his arm around my shoulder. It's cozy in this hospital bed but I know I'm safe. Whether it's the effect of the antidote or the effect of a doting Vaughn, I'm starting to feel the lingering fear I harbor begin to dissipate.
"So tell me about Sally Benson..."
He sweeps a few strands of hair away from my face like he always does, "Ha, it's kind of a disaster. Sally was Weiss' most serious crush. When things ended, he locked himself in for months building ships in bottles... Yeah, I know – fact is stranger than fiction."
"That's not good - I hope Nadia isn't gonna break his heart... huh."
"Tell me about it. I don't want to be the naysayer but you think I should talk to him?"
"For his own good... yeah you should... Think I'm gonna talk to Nadia too... See what she's thinking..."
"Syd, don't get me wrong... Your sister is great... I think that maybe the problem..."
I feel my eyes getting heavy amidst Vaughn's soothing voice and warm embrace. As I drift slowly into sleep, I know it's time for us to have the overdue talk about everything that happened last year – I no longer have any will or desire to put up more defense against falling back into this amazing man, even if he is flawed and battered... We'll at least be well matched.
