Disclaimer: If BtVS were mine ... well, it would have gone a lot differently, for one thing, but that's not my point here ... I wouldn't be publishing this as fanfiction. So, obviously, it's not.
Chapter One: A New Hope
After "Amends"
They walked through the streets in the dim light of the clouded morning, marveling at the softly falling snow. Neither of them dared say a word, almost as if they feared it wasn't real and breaking the silence would make the miracle disappear.
A TV was on in the window of the Sun Cinema, and as they passed, a weathercaster took over the screen, her voice resonating in the still morning. "And while most of Southern California is enjoying a balmy Christmas, an extreme cold front has sprung up out of nowhere around Sunnydale, where they are reporting heavy snowfall for the first time in, well, ever. Sunnydale residents shouldn't expect to see the sun at all today. That cold front isn't going anywhere…." Even this storm would not block the sun enough to make the day safe, but it would certainly dim it enough to buy them maybe half an hour. More than enough time to get home, without any rush.
By the time they reached the mansion, there was a thin layer of snow coating the ground. Buffy leaned down and scooped up a handful of the wet powder, letting it slip through her fingers. "Miracle," she murmured. "Our miracle…." She trailed off, then added as an afterthought, "I've never actually seen snow before."
She brushed her hands off, and he could see her shivering.
"You okay?" Angel asked.
"Just a bit chilly," she replied. "I was dressed for actual California weather, not … this."
He motioned her into the mansion before him. She settled herself on one side of the couch, and watched as he knelt in front of the hearth and built up a fire. "There," he said as he sat down across from her. "That should make you feel better."
"Thanks." She flashed a grateful smile.
They fell silent, and for a moment just looked at each other, suddenly awkward and unsure what to say.
"So…," she began lamely.
"So," he parroted.
She sighed, gathered her courage, and stepped valiantly onto what was likely to be a verbal minefield. "Are we going to give the whole 'us' thing another try? Cuz, we already tried the avoidance method, and, all things considered, I think we can write that one off as a failure."
He laughed ruefully. "No, that didn't go too well, did it? We can try to make a relationship work out. Maybe I'm being selfish to agree, but God, Buffy, I don't know what to do without you with me. We just have to be careful."
"Right. Careful," she echoed softly, sadly.
Silence fell again, but this time it was more comfortable. Buffy crawled across the couch and nestled against Angel, letting out a small sigh of contentment.
Eventually, Angel broke the silence. "You know," he said, "I think you might have been right."
"Of course I was. Don't you know, I'm always right," she joked. "…No really, what about?"
"Maybe it wasn't the First who brought me back. I think – I think I just remembered something," he replied.
"Remembered something?" Buffy asked.
"Yeah," he said slowly. "When… I was in Hell…."
Buffy winced at the mention, and didn't meet his eyes. That he had to put a stop to.
"Buffy." He turned her face towards him. "Buffy, don't beat yourself up over it. It's not your fault. You did what you had to."
"I can't help it," she said. "I still did it to you. Knowing that I caused you that pain – And when you came back, you were so…."
"Shh," he cut her off. "But I did come back. What's done is done. Leave it in the past, and stop blaming yourself."
She gave him a shaky smile. "I'll try." She paused, then asked abruptly, "What was it you were starting to say before?"
"Oh, uh," he tried to recall, then shook his head, having lost his nerve. "It was nothing. Doesn't matter."
She was not convinced. Her eyes narrowed, and she shot him a dangerous look. "Angel."
"I'm sorry, I don't remember," he tried.
"Nice try. What aren't you telling me?" Damn, he wasn't going to get out of this easily, was he?
He looked at her. She looked at him. He sighed, realizing it would be most prudent to tell her.
"It's hard to remember exactly what happened … I wasn't exactly in my right mind," he began haltingly.
"Yes?" she prompted. "Come on, story time!"
He bit back a laugh at her childishly eager expression. She had softened as soon as he began speaking, and now she had cuddled up to him and was staring up at him with adoring puppy eyes. She could be so juvenile sometimes, really. It was … refreshing. With all that she'd had to face, she'd been forced to grow up so fast, and at times he worried that she would become hardened by the things she'd seen. He couldn't bear for that to happen to such a pure, vibrant spirit. He gave in to the temptation to drop a kiss to her lips, then continued with his recollections.
"I was in Hell – and then, suddenly, I wasn't. It was the oddest thing. Everything was black, and I was falling – and then I landed in here. But – now that I think about it – I think there was something in between there. I'd forgotten before. It was … I think it was another dimension. It was this chamber, a great hall, that seemed to stretch on forever. It was all light – no visible source, light just seemed to permeate the place. And there were these two … beings. They said they were bringing me back, that I had a duty to fulfill. …They called me Champion. …I think – I think they said my soul was bound!"
Buffy gasped. "But that's, that's –" she stammered incredulously, then exclaimed as it truly hit her, "That's great!" She turned to him. "Who were these guys?" she demanded.
"I'm not sure. They were like nothing I've ever seen. Human form, but blue, with gold veins … or was it gold with blue veins? Dressed in togas. One male and one female. And they gave this feeling, just this … aura of immense power."
"We have to look these guys up!" Buffy urged.
He nodded, because it was important to know, but he wasn't sure it changed as much as she seemed to think it did. She was so excited….
"If they're trustworthy – I have to go to the library –" she suddenly cut herself off. "No," she said murmured. "Not yet. Not now."
"What?" he asked with concern.
"Nothing," she replied softly. "Just, I don't want to leave yet. I don't want to leave you this morning.
"Oh." He drew her into his arms, and she relaxed against him.
But suddenly she sat bolt upright, cursing under her breath. "Damnit, I can't do either! I can't believe I forgot!"
"What?" he asked again.
"I left Mom and Faith at home – in a hurry and promising explanations later. They're still waiting for me," she explained frustratedly.
"Go," he said. "You have to do what you have to do."
"I know," she whined. "But I don't want to leave." She got to her feet, then went back for a goodbye kiss. "I'll be back tomorrow."
"I love you." He reveled in the freedom to say the words.
"I love you."
The day after Christmas found Buffy right back in the library. She strode through the doors and announced, "Okay, here's the sitch: Gold people – well, people-like thingies – with blue veins. Toga party dress. Possibly from another dimension. Who are they, and can they be trusted?"
"My, Buffy, you've certainly become invested in research lately," Giles commented.
Buffy just looked at him.
"Uh, yes, that description does sound vaguely familiar," the Watcher continued. "I'll see what I can find." He turned back to the stacks, running a hand over the spines of the books as he searched for some title. "May I ask what prompted this sudden interest?" he asked casually.
The Slayer instantly turned uncomfortable. "You know me, I'm a regular research girl," she said brightly, hoping that would pass for an answer.
Giles turned back towards her. "Buffy."
"Well, uh … see," she stammered, then took a deep breath and said very fast, "Angel and I were walking back after it started snowing yesterday, and then he thought he remembered something from when he was brought back. He was in, like, maybe another dimension, and these funky gold guys were there, and then they sent him back here. And we think they said his soul was bound – like it couldn't be lost again. And that's good, isn't it, 'cuz it would mean less danger. But we need to know for sure, because what if they were lying, and that would be bad…."
If Buffy hadn't been so nervous, she might have been amused by the way Giles started cleaning his glasses in nervous reflex the moment she mentioned Angel's name. He listened carefully to her story, looking like he wasn't sure whether to be completely shocked or expecting something of this nature.
"Buffy," he said, uncharacteristically curt, "he does not seem to be in any danger. You know what my feelings about Angel are. Don't you think you're being a bit –?"
"I'm being a bit? I'm being a lot." Buffy sighed heavily. "I know I am. I get irrational when he's involved, okay? I can't help it."
She faltered. Finally, she added in a small voice, "I've lost him so many times already. If I lose him again, I think I might break. And he never deserved any of this, either. Can I have just a little bit of help here? Please, do it for me?"
Giles looked at the young woman who had become like a daughter to him, and found himself unable to refuse. "Very well then. I'll see what I can find."
Buffy gave him a shaky smile. "Thank you."
