A/N: Wow, thank you SO much to those who reviewed this story, I was really surprised it was received so well! I'm just kind of winging it with this one. I know where I want to go, but getting there, who knows. Big thanks to Jodi (StephanIrvine) for always helping me with my stories, she's the best and a freaking awesome writer to boot (if you haven't already, read Blind and The Loneliness is Better Near Now! Both are awesome!). But thank you again so much for the reviews, I'm really excited for this story and just hope I can do the concept justice. Please keep leaving reviews, they make my day, thank you, and hope you enjoy. :)
Chris turns off his computer and then stares at the screen. He can't believe he just talked to himself, or at least who he believed to be himself, it sure sounded like himself, but can he really be sure if he doesn't see the person on the other side? He laughs to himself as he thinks about his past self being confused because he's confused and he believes this could all be a prank as well. It's been a while since he's used the IAmIrvine name. He'd left it behind a while ago, opting for a new one. The new one identified himself as well so he was hesitant to use it against his past self.
But was that really his past self? He felt like this could still be an elaborate joke on him. He didn't know how he was talking to his former self (if it was indeed his former self). The entire situation just raises red flags in his brain and he doesn't know what or who to believe at this current moment. Should he believe this mysterious occurrence or should he believe that it's an elaborate prank being played on him by the younger guys of the company. He's become sort of an icon to the younger guys.
Ever since Paul went off the deep end and decided that wrestling was all he'd be doing at the shows, Chris was the new figurehead in the locker room, the ultimate veteran and times had changed. Paul incited fear where Chris was welcoming. The two of them had really just gone in two different directions since Stephanie's death. But maybe they'd had to, maybe that was just how life was supposed to be for the both of them. Thinking about this brought back thoughts of Stephanie's death and even two years after the fact, he still hurts.
His mind plays on that day, that day two years ago, not quite two, he thinks to himself, not quite there yet, but it's just stalling the inevitable flashback to that day. It's strange, he thinks, how something like that changes your outlook, changes your life. He only wishes the changes it had brought him had come about sooner, maybe then he could've been there, could've saved her, could've gotten her away from the accident.
Could have saved her life.
His brain goes back there, almost unwittingly, but then, it usually goes back there when he has a moment to think. It's the quiet moments, the silent moments that are the most deadly. The memories, the thoughts, the feelings creep up into him and climb into his brain, clawing their way in when he resists and there they are and he's thinking them again, against his will because he doesn't want to think of Stephanie, when he thinks of Stephanie, he misses Stephanie.
"Meeting in catering," Jay said as he passed by Chris.
Chris took off his headphones, "What'd you say, man?"
"Meeting in catering, some sort of big announcement or something," Jay said. "You better hurry before boss-man gets mad at you for being late."
"I'm coming, I'm coming," he said as he hopped out of his chair and next to his friend. "I wonder what it is this time."
"Who knows?" Jay said. "He's probably making some big changes to the storyline and has to inform us all again."
"Yeah," Chris said with a sigh. They arrived in catering and almost everyone was there. Chris managed to find a couple seats in the back and he and Jay took a seat. There were so many people coming inside that a lot of them had to stand. People were whispering and talking and wondering what was going on, but Chris was just focusing on the match he had later. He was going to need to talk to Edge about their match.
"Hey, everyone," Shane said from the top of a chair. Everyone turned their attention to the front of the room where Shane was. He was wearing sunglasses, which Chris thought was odd. Not that he had never worn sunglasses inside, but Shane never had. "Um, I just…I just wanted to tell you that tonight's show is cancelled."
"Cancelled," everyone said, their voices rising up in confusion.
"What's going on, Shane?" Cena asked, speaking for everyone.
"The show tonight is actually, it's actually," Shane paused. His pause was far too long, far, far too long. Chris didn't know if anyone else was picking up on this, but he certainly was. There was a tremble to Shane's voice that Chris didn't like. It was obviously the voice of someone who wanted to break down and was trying very hard not to. "It's…it's going to be a tribute show."
"What?" Chris said out loud, louder than he'd intended. While everyone was looking around trying to find out who was missing, Chris asked the dreaded question, a question he wished he never had to ask to be followed by an answer he never wanted to hear. "Who died?"
Shane took a deep, hard breath, a breath meant to steady him, but one that took effort, like every breath was difficult for him, "It's for…it's for Stephanie."
"Stephanie McMahon?" Chris asked, in shock now as the whispers grew louder, more urgent. "Shane, what the hell is going on?"
"Earlier today, Stephanie and Paul were driving here…their car was struck…Paul's in the hospital, he should be okay, um, the car wasn't struck on his side. Stephanie…she…she didn't make it, my parents are there, um, but they asked if I could come let you know. The show is going to be for her so if you want to say something about her to the cameras, they're set up. Thanks for listening."
The room seemed frozen as nobody knew what to do next, what to say next. Chris just sat there, his eyebrows furrowing as he thought about Stephanie. They'd never been best friends, but they'd been good friends. They'd gone out to dinner, just them, a few times, not a regular occurrence, but he liked her, he certainly liked her. He'd have to say something to the cameras, there was just no way he couldn't. They'd worked together so many times, he'd have to say something.
The walk there seemed like a trek, every step closer seemed to take more breath, like he was climbing Everest, but this summit wouldn't bring joy, only defeat. There were a couple people there. He wondered if they'd make it on the air, he wondered if he would make it on the air. They'd been told, after Shane left, that anyone who wanted to could leave. He didn't want to leave just yet, but maybe after, maybe after this he could leave.
When he sat down, he expected a rush of memories, he thought their storylines would pop into his head, everything all once, like a torrent of water, rushing down to capsize him, but there was nothing except her. His head formed a clear vision of her, like she was standing right in front of him. Had she been here, she'd be leaning back against that wall, listening, rolling her eyes when someone screwed up, wanting to jump in and correct them. He could almost see her, this beautiful apparition, brushing hair out of her face, calling the shots, just being Stephanie.
It was then he began to speak, "Stephanie McMahon, though we seemed to have many differences, was actually one of the sweetest people you could meet and coming from me of all people, you know it must be true. She was an amazing person and she was always in charge. We were actually really good friends. We'd go out to dinners and just laugh and she had a great laugh. She made working with her fun. I never stopped smiling when I was with her. She was…she was just amazing…"
He didn't know he was going to cry, but when the tears pushed past his best defense, he didn't stop them. He didn't mean to cry, but the more he spoke, the stranger he felt. He was feeling like he was missing something, like something had been taken away from him. He knew it was Stephanie, but wouldn't admit that, not yet....not just yet…
It took him a few days after the funeral to realize what that strange feeling was. He'd loved Stephanie without even knowing it. It was like, just having her near him kept those thoughts at bay, but the moment she was gone, they came rushing to the surface to mock him. Tell him that he'd been an idiot all this time. He could've had her (no he couldn't, he'd tell himself a moment later), but he'd been too slow and now she was gone.
Except yesterday he had received something rather peculiar in the mail. It had been an envelope, addressed to him, the name and addressed typed, with no return address and no stamp. Someone must have dropped it off into his mailbox personally. He hadn't been at home so he didn't know who had left it. He'd opened it tentatively, wondering what could possibly be inside. The only thing had been a slip of paper, on which had been typed, "What is the one thing you would love to go back and change?"
It'd taken him mere moments to mumble to himself that he would love to see Stephanie alive again. If he had another chance, he would tell her how he felt about her, how stupid he was for only realizing it after she died. Actually, scratch that, if he had another chance, he'd just like to see her. He could live with seeing her, not the apparitions she would show herself as. Sometimes he thought he saw her, but they always ended up just being people who looked like her and he ended up feeling stupid for even thinking she could be alive.
He wasn't as bad as Paul though. Though he was not at fault for the accident, he blamed himself. He used to say, before he practically went mute, that he should've waited 5 minutes, that he could have, that she'd been thirsty and they could have stopped at a drive-thru for something to drink. He blamed himself, that he wasn't the one in that seat, that he wasn't the one to take the blow. He still blamed himself, but he wouldn't say it to anyone because he didn't talk to anyone. Maybe he did in his personal life, but wrestling now, it was just a job, not something he truly loved.
Chris felt sorry for Paul, but jealous as well. The man had Stephanie for a while, Chris hadn't, but the bigger part of him felt sorry for what the man had been through and what he was still going through. He would come to shows, do his job, and then go home. There was no personality to him any longer, not that the one he'd had had been the best, but he'd been there. Sure, he'd go out there and he'd play his part, but that was the extent of it. The same routine. Other people had tried to get him back to his old self, Shawn most noticeably, but nothing worked.
This morning, another letter had come to Chris in his mailbox. He'd opened it again, wondering who was trying to pull a fast one over him. "You can change it."
He didn't believe it until he was online this evening and saw himself or whoever it was. He didn't even remember putting his name on his buddy list. He'd had no reason to. Only a few people knew that name, he didn't use it anymore and it would take quite a bit of hacking to get into it because he didn't make his passwords easy. But how was it possible. How could he have such a link back in time? He'd had to try when he saw that name sitting there. He'd had to ask and it appeared to be him. That was the scary part, it appeared to be him talking to himself.
He didn't understand how it worked, not at all. There weren't supposed to be time machines and you weren't supposed to be able to change the past. There should just be one timeline, so why was his timeline changing, why did he get this chance? Was this even a chance? If it worked, what then? What next? Would he have Stephanie? The only thing he could think to say to himself back then was to be with Stephanie. He'd often believed that if they'd been together, none of this would have happened.
Okay, it was a little selfish of him. He knew he could change the past by making Paul leave a little later or not leave at all or leave earlier. There were a number of ways, but he couldn't help it, the one way that stuck in his brain, the one way that had been stuck in his brain for these almost two years was the thought of how he could've saved Stephanie by being the one she was with. He wanted her with him, it was that simple. He wanted her with him.
And yes, sometimes, though he really didn't want it to, the thoughts of, "Hunter let this happen," popped into his head, but he backed those away. Now he had a second chance, maybe, but he'd have to convince his former self that he was indeed in love with Stephanie. He had no doubt (being himself) that he was in love with Stephanie then. After she'd died, he had reevaluated his life and gone back, so far back and every time he thought of her, he'd loved her, in his own way, but he'd loved her. So if there was a chance, any chance that he could have her, he had to try, he had to take that chance.
He had to change the past.
