Dancing Fools

Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. I do not own Dancing with the Stars, they belong to ABC!

Chapter 2: The Show Begins

One Week Later, in the Audience…

Diablos said,

"You know, Persiana13 may be crazy, but his heart's in the right place."

Dove said flatly,

"Lance, he used a bean-bag cannon to knock out my brother."

Hawk a glazed look in his eyes, said,

"Pretty birdies!"

Blue Beetle asked,

"Who's up first?"

Diablos shrugged,

"I don't know. I guess we'll here something soon."

Lex yelled,

"LET ME OUT THIS MINUTE! YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYERS, PERSIANA13!"

Booster Gold asked,

"Did he really have to take the gag off?"

A compartment in table opened up and a large hand with a mallet knocked Lex unconscious. Diablos smirked,

"I guess he thought of everything."

Supergirl said,

"I never thought I'd feel bad for Persiana13."

J'onn asked,

"You feel bad for him, Kara?"
Supergirl shrugged,

"Yeah, he's the one that has to put up with Lex."

The theme song to Dancing with the Stars played and Persiana13 and Farrah entered. Persiana13 was wearing a fine black tux. Farrah was wearing a scandalous red strapless gown and high heels, also in red. The author said,

Ladies and Gentlemen; good evening to you all, and welcome to Dancing with the Heroes!

Farrah grinned,

"Tonight, we can promise three things; talented dancers, hilarious antics, and probably, by the end of the show, we'll all be cancelled!"

These people have talent?

The author shrugged,

Well, let's meet our judges. First up…LEX LUTHOR!
Lex grinned,

"Pretty girls…"

Next up…JOKER!

Joker smirked,

"Hey, Lex. No sleeping on the job!"

He slapped Lex's back, sending electrical volt through Lex. Lex screamed,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Can you two quit clowning around? I'm having my moment here.

Booster called out from the audience,

"I get those moments in the bathroom."

Booster then got shot with the bean-bag gun,

"OW!"
One more word out of you, Booster, and I'll personally FedEx your ass back to the twenty-fifth century!

Booster whimpered,

"I'll be good."

Now, for our third judge…sad to say folks, but Catman could not be here tonight due to a pressing engagement.

Farrah asked,

"Was he kidnapped by your readers again?"

I thought he was kidnapped by that fan club you have.

Black Canary asked off camera,

"Farrah has a fan club?"
Miss Marvel said off camera,

"Farrah has fans?"

Hey, Carol! You're not even supposed to be on this show!

The author turned,

Let's meet our first dance couple. While you watch them, I'll go find a new judge.

The author walked off, carrying a mallet, bag, rope, and gag.

Farrah said,

"Our first dance couple of the evening-."

Hawkgirl entered and was furious,

"PERSIANA!"

She was wearing a VERY revealing yellow and red dress, practically no decency at all. Booster was wide-eyed,

"Damn, Shayera! You actually look like a real woman with that on!"
Hawkgirl yelled,

"DIE!"

She flew at Booster, a fight erupting in the stands.

Farrah blinked,

"O-K. I was going to say that the first dance couple this evening is Black Canary and Green Arrow doing the Waltz."

The author walked back on,

Found my third judge.

The author dragged a bag containing a dazed Miss Marvel, bound and gagged,

You would not believe how hard it was to convince her to come and do the show.

Farrah whined,

"Why did you have to bring her? You know I don't like working with her."

Miss Marvel had a silly grin,

"Pretty blue birdies."

She giggled.

It was either her or Circe.

Circe shouted off camera,

"Not on your life, pal! You want to be turned into a pig and eaten by your co-host?"

She has some other things to work on.

The author looked up at Hawkgirl strangling Booster,

Oh, great. I'm gone five minutes and this show is already tanking more than the XFL. The author pulled out a bean bag gun and fired two bean bags at Hawkgirl and Booster. Both were unconscious.

Problem solved. Let's get this show started.

After Black Canary and Green Arrow do the Waltz…

Farrah pretended to wipe a tear away,

"That was a stirring performance, indeed. Judges, what do you think?"

Lex said,

"I, for one, found it to be quite boring. A six."
Canary was stunned,

"SIX? We practiced a long time for this!"
Joker shook his head,

"Geez, Lex. You're such a kill joy. They deserve at least a seven."

Green Arrow was surprised,

"What? A seven?"

Miss Marvel shrugged,

"Well, I thought it was great. An eight from me, even thought she's not as pretty a blonde as me."

Canary yelled,

"DIE!"

She tackled Miss Marvel, a cat fight erupting.

Hawk grinned,

"Sweet! I'm getting my camera!"

Diablos groaned,

"I'm beginning to think this may not have been the best idea in the world."

He got shot with a bean bag,

"OW!"

Next Chapter:

More couples, and more insanity!