A few weeks after my brother left my father started talking of my marriage. Of course, I protested to every single man. Why would I
want to marry so early? Didn't what I say matter? Obviously not, because every day after that a man came to check me out. It was like
I was some vehicle on display.
"How many miles?" says the miscellaneous man.
"Unused, believe it or not." Says my very loving father.
"Mated? I assume she isn't." says the misc. man thinking he can touch my hair.
"You assumed right, my good lad." Says my loving father scolds me for slapping the misc. man.
"She's got an attitude on her, sir." Says the misc. man observing the snarl on my face.
"That'll be no problem," starts my loving father trying to persuade the poor unsuspecting man.
"No thank you, I'm looking for something more…submissive." Says the misc. man heading to the next princess lot down the street.
My father always yelled at me for not wanting to marry and settle down. I believe eighteen is an extremely perfect age to explore the
world, possibly even my heart. I wasn't going to run away to get these things, I simply had to persuade my father, correct? Well no.
My father always told me he was all I had left, Trunks left the nest and I needed to leave before Trunks returned with a mate, so I
could rule my own kingdom. "I don't want to rule my own kingdom." I whined; I might as well have been lying tummy down on floor,
kicking my legs and pounding on the floor with my fists, screaming like a child who didn't get her way. My father wouldn't listen to me,
but I hadn't given up hope! No way, no how was I going to lose this battle…maybe.
A few more misc. men decided to check out the new ride, but I wasn't going to accept being put on display any longer. My father
decided instead of the usual look and go, he would engage the next family, by inviting them all to lunch at our castle. "So, Ms. Briefs,
are you interested in having kids?" The Prince's mother asked facing the fruit on her plate. I looked up from my plate, gave the
sweetest smile and said, "No, I plan on cutting my womb out the night of our wedding." I kept the smile on my face and watched the
faces of shock turn my way. The Queen's husband laughed and said, "She's got a sense of humor, Aoi! I like that." His laugh sounded
like he smoked all his life and his posture was the worst I had seen in my life. So men got to be unsophisticated, but women? We had
to be prim on proper every second of everyday. "So, Princess," The Prince spoke to me. "Have you picked out names for children?" I
looked up with the same smile and said, "Oh, of course. There's Manami, Karen, Ai," The prince cut in, "Those are all girls names."
He said as if it were a terrible thing that I wanted to have a female child. "Duh, you think I'm going to keep boys?" I laughed like having
boys was the silly thought. I snorted to make the fake irritating laugh even more unattractive.
When the family left my dad didn't speak to me. He didn't speak to me for days, actually. I was starting get worried that maybe I really
had taken it too far. I said one thing too many, I had broken the last nerve I was allowed to stand on. I kept an eye on his; I made sure
that I didn't create the same affect that mom's death had. I always kept daddy proud of me and made sure that I was the light of his
life. I wanted him to know that every whack attack and every crying fit was worth it in the end. I guess, what I had set out to do ever
since I could remember, I had crushed when I crushed that family's hopes of finding their boy's mate. "You're an idiot, Bra, idiot,
idiot, IDIOT!" I scolded myself as I paced the hallway waiting for my father to come out of his room so I could talk to him. When he
did come out of his room I tried to stop him and tell him that I apologized for disappointing him, but he brushed right passed me before
I could get a single word out of my mouth.
I followed my father down to the dining room and he sat at the table where he used to sit when we were a complete family. When I say
complete I mean, alive and well mother, happy and immature Trunks, goofy and oblivious to my future, me and happy, but disciplinary,
Daddy. He sat there and he stared at where his plate used to be set when mommy came out of the kitchen. I wanted to say anything
because he looked as if he was on the verge of tears, but he was my daddy, right?
I turned to leave when my father called after me, "You know, when you were little and mom was, around," He said hesitating to say
'alive'. "You always used to tell me that you weren't scared of growing up. You weren't scared of anything." I turned back to him and
he looked as if he was a cement statue. He didn't move his arms, his legs, or his facial expressions. "Dad, I'm not scared of growing
up, I'm not scared of being married," I could feel tears welling up behind my eyes as spoke. "I'm scared of marrying someone I don't
love, I'm scared of mothering children I'll feel resentment against, because they were the reason I sat back and watched my life fade
away.And I'm scared, most of all, of that exactly. Watching my life grow from something I had a chance to mold into something I threw
away. I'm not a kid, I don't think monsters are made of chocolate anymore and you can just pick them up and eat them if they try to
get you. I'm a woman and I know that monsters aren't tangible. I know they're wedged deep in heart and only the only way you can
pry them out is to overcome them. And the only way to overcome my monsters is to do with my life what I will. I love you, Daddy, but
my life can't be this putty ball in the hands of my unwanted husband. You loved mom when were married right?" My mistake, my father
slammed a fist into the table, hard enough to give a warning, but soft enough to leave no marks. "Sorry," I apologized quietly. "All I'm
trying to say is that I want to feel love and I want to be loved without compulsion, that's all. It's unfair to me, if I can't at least once in
my life, have that." My father stood up and walked passed me and then shouted. "Sometimes, life just isn't fair." He stomped up the
stairs and into his room. With a slam of the door, my father had no reason to talk to me until the return of my brother.
Trunks walked through the door that day to find the disturbing presence of animosity between my father and I. Trunks held a hand out
to me, but again, like the six months before, I didn't accept it. My father again took it and said, "I'm proud of you my boy. Do you
think you'll be able to get back out there?" He said it as if Trunks looked like some beaten up homeless guy, but the truth was: Trunks
looked great. There were a few things that had changed about him, but that's okay. He's still my big brother and no matter what, I
wouldn't battle him for my father affection. I think.
For the first time in a whole forever we sat down at the dinner table together, the only thing missing was mommy. My father looked at
Trunks then at me and said, "Let's talk." What? Let's talk about what? Was he going to have a heartfelt moment with us that would
return us to our same old selves? The same kids who loved without boundaries, cried scared tears, who didn't care if the world knew
their hopes, wants, and dreams? We'd never be those kids. Not ever again. Trunks was the first to speak up, "About what, sir?" My
father never aloud Trunks to call him dad; it would emasculate him in some way I couldn't understand. "Let's talk about this family."
My father said bluntly. "What about us?" I asked rolling my eyes. "We haven't had a family talk since," I didn't want to say "since
mom died." So I said, "Well, since forever." Trunks looked at me with a nice save look and I raised an eyebrow that said, "Thanks."
My father looked at both of us and said, "We should start acting like a family again." Trunks stared at the table, I stared at the table
and dad looked at both our faces. I'm not sure how I felt when he said that, but I know it didn't feel good.
I lied awake in my bed and thought about all the screaming that occurred a few hours earlier. Trunks yelled at my dad, my dad yelled
back, I yelled at them to stop yelling and I just got screamed at. Trunks tried to tell my father we had always been a family. As much as
my father and I wanted to believe that, we knew deep in our fear filled hearts that, that statement wasn't true. It's just that no one had
ever stated the fact that we weren't a family for the last ten years. I can't explain what exactly we had become, but we weren't
anywhere near being a family. Not since mom died. She would always schedule a family get together every now and then, but for some
reason, I don't remember ever seeing her family there. I remember the Son family. Trunks always used to play tag with Gohan and
Goten, but they always got in trouble because someone went over board and fired off an energy blast. Whatever happened to them?
They were one of the many other royal families we had lost touch with. I remember having the biggest crush on Goten, he was always
so funny, and it was hard to believe he was royalty. He made me feel like maybe being of the highest power wouldn't be so bad. I wish
I could see him again. I began to nod off thinking about every time Goten made laugh. I thought about his smile and the way he snorted
if he laughed too hard. I really, really had to get in touch with him. He made everything in life so much sweeter. Everything in me and
around me but, I mean he's probably mated by now, right? I hoped not.
Thank you for reading, I didn't leave a message in my last one, but thank you for your feed back, good or bad. As long as the bad is constructive. I couldn't do without Trunks' character if you couldn't tell. Anywho, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, but it is 4:28 in the AM and I am I tired goose. I love every single one of you and your feedback. -A
