So You Think Your Day Sucks...
A/N: Well, it seems that this is getting a pretty good response. I guess you guys really like seeing others tortured, hahaha! Anywayz, I've already warned you that all of these have no relevance at all whatsoever to the story line of Neon Genesis Evangelion, but you like to see the charcters get messed up. Good for you!
Scenario 2: Save the Animals - PART 1, Free Willy
Somewhere in an alternate reality, the wonderful people of Exxon have gathered together in Valdez, Alaska to commemorate success of their rescue project. We now join project coordinator, Maya Ibuki now addressing the audience.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to thank you all for coming out here today to celebrate our success. As you can all recall, our oil tanker Sea River Mediterranean, at the time named Exxon Valdez, hit Prince William Sound's Bligh Reef and spilled an estimated 11 to 30 million gallons in crude oil. As a result thousands of animals immediately perished. In addition, a majority of the plankton supply was killed off by the oil as well.
"In order to rectify this terrible mistake, we established many centers to do all that we could to clean up the mess."
At moment, two men with cages in hand walked onto the stage.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I would now like to introduce to you Mr. Aoba and Mr. Hyuga." The two men with the cages waved to the applauding audience. "Both of these wonderful men have contributed a huge part to our cause.
"Out of the many different types of animals that had been affected, the harbor seals were one of the more expensive animals to save averaging at about $80,000 per rehabilitation. Today, we would like to commemorate our success by release two of the most expensively saved animals back into the wild."
As Maya finished her speech the audience applauded as Hyuga and Aoba walked towards the water with the cages. The cheers and applause from the onlookers grew even louder as the seals were released and started to swim out into the ocean.
"There they go, swimming happily," said Hyuga as he watched the seals. "Doesn't it feel good to know that you helped to save a life?"
"Yep," responded Aoba.
"Thanks for helping me out guys," said Maya as hugged the two guys.
"Hey, no problem, we wanted to do this anyway, right?" said Aoba as he ruffled Hyuga's hair.
"Yeah, it's nice knowing we did some good." The three watched as the seals continued. "You know, I bet those seals are gonna have nice, long and happy lives and we helped them get there." Maya and Aoba nodded in agreement.
At this precise moment in time, a killer whale appeared out of nowhere and ate both of the seals in full view. The cheers and applause immediately stopped. Everyone was in disbelief, both shocked and horrified, I mean, c'mon, that really sucks!
"…Did that just happen?" Maya refused to believe what she just saw.
"…" Hyuga was speechless. Then he noticed that Aoba was shaking. "What's wrong man?"
"…" Aoba looked up with eyes filled with rage. Hyuga and Maya took a step back just to be safe, which was smart cuz that was when Shigeru cracked. "DAMNIT! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"
"Hey man, calm down. You're scaring the audience," said Hyuga in an attempt to calm down his friend.
"HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO BE CALM WHEN MOTHER F-ING FREE WILLY JUST ATE OVER 200,000 DOLLARS OF OUR MONEY?" he screamed back.
"Uh, dude, really you gotta…"
"C'MON YOU MOFO!" screamed Shigeru to the whale in a challenging manner. "I'LL TAKE YOU ON, YOU STUPID LITTLE…! HYUGA, QUICK! GET MY HARPOON!"
"Who do you think you are, Captain Ahab or something?"
"DAMINT HYUGA I SAID MY HARPOON!"
Maya let out a huge sigh as she started to walk away from them. "I knew something was wrong when the volunteered to help…"
A/N: Well isn't that a bitch. By the way, I could never figure it out, is Maya Maya's first of last name? Cuz I alwayz thought that it was her first name. Ah, and let me just say that all profits made by this fic will go to the Angelic Days (aka Girlfriend of Steel 2) fund. I need to go to the mall and buy that right now and you should too!
