The Fifth Year Proposal

Ah, the Hospital Wing. I hate the Hospital Wing. I've never been comfortable with St. Mungo's or anything. I guess I have a sort of fear of medical places.

I sighed. This sucks. It looked to be about…dawn? Had I been out for a whole day?

The curtains were drawn around my bed, and a few different bottles of medicine were on the nightstand, neatly folded next to my clothes.

My schoolbag sat on the end of my bed near my feet, neatly filled with all my books – ink-free. Lying next to it was a piece of parchment. It read:

You're too clumsy.

I grinned. Severus. I'll have to remember to thank him later.

I sat up in the bed, not feeling much pain but I was pretty stiff. Nonetheless I picked up my school clothes and took off my hospital gown before slipping on the skirt, then my socks. I had to be careful – there were bandages all around my upper torso as my back had taken the brunt of the fall yesterday. My arms were bandaged, too, from shoulder to elbow. I felt my head but there weren't any bandages there.

My blouse went on next, and then I picked up my tie. Before I could put it on, though, the curtains were suddenly yanked back.

"And what would you be doing, girl?"

Ah…Madam Pomfrey…

"Er – nothing," I said blankly. She narrowed her beady eyes at me and I smiled a little, nervously.

"Do you feel tired?" she barked.

"No…"

"Hungry?"

"No."

"Dizzy?"

"No."

"Is your vision blurry?"

"Ah…no."

"Can you walk?"

"Yes." I was getting irritated now. What's with the questions?

She scowled. "Alright, you can leave. But! Be back here in exactly a week so I can take those bandages off!"

And with that, she turned on her heel and strut off. I sighed heavily. That woman was going to kill me one day.

I picked up my cloak and shrugged it on before turning my attention to my tie. I've never been able to master tying a bloody tie. Even after five years. I frowned, fumbling with it for about three minutes before I was able to get it right. Finally, I was ready to go.

Picking up my bag and tentatively setting in on my shoulder, I made my way to the door and was just about to pull it open when someone pushed it open from the other side and a young man collapsed on me. I was so startled I fell back down.

Why do I keep getting into this position?

The speculation flew from my mind when I noticed what state the guy was in. He was out of breath and panting heavily, as if he had run all the way here. And he was bleeding. All over the floor and myself. His body was shaking and his eyes were almost closed; he didn't even have the energy to speak. I kept seeing his lips moving, but nothing came out.

I'd never seen someone like this before.

"M-Madam Pomfrey," I said softly. My voice raised. "Madam Pomfrey!"

The nurse came out of her office and flew over the moment she saw the state of this young man. She took one of his arms.

"Well? Don't just sit there, Miss Black, grab his arm and help me!"

Her voice always made me snap into action. Immediately I took his arm and stood, helping Madam Pomfrey bring him over to the closest bed and ease him down. Quick as a flash Madam Pomfrey drew the curtains shut around us. I saw her rummaging in the cupboard next to the bed, taking out various bottles and bandages.

This gave me a chance to get a good look at him. His tie told me he was a Gryffindor. He had sandy brown hair and just dusted across his deep brown eyes, which were still half open but unfocused.

Remus Lupin.

What the hell had happened to him?

"Miss Black, you may leave," Madam Pomfrey told me curtly. I made to do just that when Lupin's hand suddenly snapped around my arm tightly. I was yanked back – how could this guy have strength like that when he's half-dead on a hospital bed?

…is he growling at me?

"Or perhaps you may not," Madam Pomfrey frowned, watching me try to take my arm back but he wouldn't let go. He was still dazed, and out of it, yet he was holding me there with one arm! "Well, if you're going to stay, you're going to be useful."

She says it like I want to be here! It's his bloody fault I can't leave, not mine!

Nonetheless, she threw a cool wet rag at me. "Wash his face."

Great. Now I was playing nurse. I frowned but did it anyways. He was covered in sweat, and every breath he took seemed to be a great effort. Blood and dirt crusted his face, but it came away easily enough.

I heard the door open again and Sirius, Potter and Pettigrew practically flew into the room. This wouldn't end well…

"You!" Potter remarked when he caught sight of me. I found myself looking down his wand. "Get away from him, you!"

Let me clarify something. When I said I was quiet, I didn't include Gryffindors.

"Bite me, Potter."

"I mean it! You lay one finger on Moony and so help me I'll-,"

He broke off when I raised my arm so he could see Lupin's long fingers gripping me tightly.

"Now there's a dilemma," Pettigrew remarked. He really was a short fellow. Even I was taller than him.

"Make him let go," I demanded. I decided to take a leaf out of Severus' book. "Unless you like me to use…force…"

"Alright, that's enough out of all of you!" Madam Pomfrey screeched. "I will not have my patient disturbed by your loud nattering! Mr. Black!"

I didn't know why she'd said his name, but Sirius was already moving forwards at the beckon and to Lupin's other side. He nudged his friend's shoulder.

"Moony," he called. "Loosen your grip a bit, mate."

And miraculously my arm was blissfully free. Was that all I'd needed to do? Talk to the guy?

"Now," Potter glared at me. Obviously he thought I was going to start hexing them all at any moment. "Bugger off, would you?"

"With pleasure." I walked past him and Pettigrew, feeling annoyed for some reason. "Git." I added before walking out the door.

I decided to go back to the Slytherin dormitory, since I now definitely needed to change from these blood soaked clothes. Of course, Slytherin just has to be in the dungeons…so so far away…

It took me forever to get down there. Damn moving stairs. They never liked me. Finally I found myself face to face with the large portrait of Salazaar Slytherin. He stared down at me in a condescending way.

"Mudblood." I said.

"I'm not letting you in looking like that," he sneered. My eyebrow ticked – now the pictures were out to get me.

"Mudblood."

"Having trouble understanding English now, girl?"

"No problem at all. I figured I should give you a final chance to open up before I do to you what I did to the boy that left these bloodstains," I threatened with narrow eyes. Not that the threat was legitimate, I mean – he's a painting.

To my surprise, he smirked. "No wonder you were placed in my house." And he swung open.

Well.

I should insult paintings more often.

Luckily it was too early in the morning for anyone to be up at this point in time, so the common room was empty. The fire was reduced to embers in the hearth and rays of light flickered in from the window. I walked up the girls' stairwell and into my dormitory, careful not to wake any of my roommates. They were grumpy little snobs in the morning, I'll tell you that.

I changed into a new uniform, since I'd have to get to class in a few hours anyways. Finally, I got the chance to see Mum's letter. Shoving my hand into the bag I fished around for it, before finally grasping a crumpled piece of parchment and pulling it out. I smoothed it against my leg and studied my mother's thin, slanted writing.

Ivarius –

Destroy this once you've read it.

This is your fifth year at Hogwarts. It was during this year your brother was blessed with the Dark Mark, and we have decided you, too, are ready to be a Death Eater. This year you will come under the Great Dark Lord's control, as dear Regulus has. We will send word of your appointment with him later on in the year.

Serve him well.

Mother.

I stared at the parchment, feeling all colour drain from my face.

Death…Eater?


"-thus by tapping the animal slowly and gently three times and repeating the exact incantation, your canary shall transfigure itself into a gold bell. Now. Does anyone know the incantation? No one?…perhaps you know, Miss Black."

"Miss Black?"

"Miss Black!"

I started. "Y…yes, professor?" I asked, ignoring the snickers around me. McGonagall was giving me a stern look.

"Miss Black, do refrain from daydreaming in my class. I asked you what the incantation for transfiguring your canary would be."

"Oh. Canarus sonorus, professor."

"Correct. Five points for Slytherin. Continuing on…"

I sunk down into my seat, shivering. Was the room cold or something? Why couldn't I stop shaking? Becoming a Death Eater was…was an honour, right? I-I should be proud!

Someone nudged me from behind and I jumped again before whipping around.

"What?"

Amber raised an eyebrow at me. "What's wrong with you?" she asked in a whisper. "You've been acting weird all class."

"Nothing's…wrong." I replied in a blank voice. Amber shared a dorm with me. She was a very pretty person, with flawless dark skin and long onyx hair. She and I got along better than I did with most people.

She rolled her eyes. "Rubbish. You look like you've seen a ghost."

"The Bloody Baron did pass by on my way down the hall-,"

"Shut up," Amber snapped. "I'll tell Reg."

"Really? I'm surprised you could make time in between your snogging sessions."

Ha ha. I made her blush. She's my brother's new dish, see.

"What? Is the baby sister overprotective?"

I snorted. "Overprotective my-,"

"Miss Black!"

Oh man. McGonagall tapped her foot impatiently. "Pay attention."

"Sorry, professor."

I shut up after that. A mad McGonagall is a dangerous McGonagall. Not long after the bell rang and I found myself wandering through the halls. Was it lunchtime? No…I just had Transfiguration, and it's a…Tuesday…so it's dinner. Wow. Already?

"It's dangerous to wander around with your head in the clouds."

I jumped for the third time in an hour and whipped around. "S-Severus," I stuttered out. "You – don't sneak up on me like that!"

He snorted. "I wasn't sneaking. You weren't paying attention."

"W-well…I've been, um, pre-preoccupied." When he raised an eyebrow, I quickly added, "W-with homework."

"You got a letter from your mother."

Ah, bloody hell. I forgot about Occlumency. "S…don't go in my head, it creeps me out," I hated it when people go through my head.

Plus there was the problem of Severus actually finding out that I was…I don't know…apprehensive?…about becoming a Death Eater. He is a Death Eater.

"This is about getting the Dark Mark, is it not?"

"How do you – it is not!"

"Oh really?" he questioned silkily. "Regulus was branded in fifth year. So was I. So was Lucius."

"Is that right, Snivellus?"

People keep on sneaking up on me! Severus had his wand out in a millisecond as four Gryffindors made their appearance from the corridor to my left. I was far too flustered to get my wand. Sirius, Potter, Pettigrew and – Lupin? He's out of the Hospital Wing already? But – but he was so beaten up yesterday! And he looked so…exhausted!

"What do you want, Black?" Severus snarled.

Sirius gasped, putting a hand over his heart. "Why, Snivelly, I'm hurt! I thought we were the best of friends!"

Potter sniffed. "Yeah, Snivellus! How could you betray our trust like that?"

Ugh. Gryffindors.

Pettigrew clapped his hands delightedly. Amused, Black smirked.

"I could have sworn he said we'd have a slumber party tonight, isn't that right, Prongs?"

"Sure is, Padfoot." Potter's smile was decidedly evil. "We were going to have some…fun."

I really hated them for picking on Severus. He wasn't that bad a person once you got to know him. As in, after hanging out with him for five years. If it was any other person at this point, I would have done something about it. But Severus had made it painfully clear that I was never to help. To interfere.

It was some kind of pride…thing.

I watched unhappily as the first hexes were fired. Severus was a brilliant wizard, but he was so stiff when he was dueling. Especially against the Marauders. Sirius and Potter, on the other hand, were relaxed and casual. Because it was all a game to –

"Silencio."

Someone grabbed me from behind. I tried to speak, but the silence spell had stolen my voice. I was forcefully dragged down another empty hall.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

Angrily I struggled against my kidnapper and even managed to elbow him. He grunted and let me go for a split second during which I was able to snatch my wand. I struggled around, even though his grip was painful, before I was abruptly let go.

I pointed my wand at him even as I fell on my butt.

Remus Lupin looked back at me with a slight smile.

SMILING? Why is he smiling? We'll see how much he's smiling when I hex off some of his more valuable parts –

"Petrificus totalus."

bloody hell.

He knelt down, removed my wand, and stuck it inside his robes before lifting the hex. I tried to speak but damn it it's so frustrating to have no voice! Hell! He grabbed my arms and began pulling me down the hall. Even when I punched him he just kept walking. After walking for about five minutes and I was still trying to body slam him, he sighed heavily.

"Stop that," he flicked my hand away from his ear, which I was attempting to rip off. "This would be easier if you calmed down-,"

I attempted to kick him in a rather delicate area. He grabbed my leg and forced me to hobble through an unlocked door that I could have sworn wasn't there before. He shut the door and grabbed me by my shoulders before I could attempt some sort of bad karate move on him.

"Sit down," he began. I mouthed a few rather colourful curses at him and he applied pressure on my shoulders. I felt my knees buckle. For a moment tried to stay standing but finally I succumbed and collapsed into a warm chair.

Damn Gryffindor. Did he have to be so strong? Stupid…

And I'd just like to know how he healed so fast. I mean, Madam Pomfrey is good, but…that good? Most certainly not.

It was about that time I realised I was not sitting in an empty classroom as I first thought. It was a cozy little living room, with a blazing fireplace, a couch a coffee table – which I was sitting at – and two other cozy little chairs like mine.

The door banged open and Potter strut in with a satisfactory grin on his face, soon followed by Pettigrew and Sirius.The door shut behind them. Lupin lowered himself into a seat, watching Peter jump onto the couch.

I groaned loudly, which was fine since no one could hear me. What were they going to do? Maybe I could jump Lupin, somehow knock him out, take my wand and –

"Hey." A hand was waved infront of my face. I blinked a few times and looked up at Sirius. "We've got to chat, sister dear."

"Silencing Charm, Sirius."

"Oh." Sirius grinned and caught the wand – MY wand – thrown to him by Lupin. I glared at Lupin. He was mean, dragging an innocent girl all the way out here to – I don't even know what kind of room this is, for crying out loud.

Well, now he lifted the silencing charm but I kept my mouth shut.

"Never speak to that mutt of a boy again. He is no longer family."

Sirius pulled up a chair and sat down infront of me. He slouched in it, completely relaxed and lazily hooked one leg over its arm. He dangled my – my wand infront of me. I snatched for it but he yanked it back.

"Ah ah ah," he began. "You want it back? Co operate."

"You haven't asked anything yet," I snapped.

"Always knew you were the smart one," he replied easily. Man, I can't even insult him.

"Is there a reason I'm here? You need money or something?"

"Slightly higher on the importance scale, sis." Sirius answered. It occurred to me that none of the other Marauders were joking around or really saying anything at all. He scooted his chair until he was sitting infront of me. He actually sat up, resting his elbows on his knees and staring at me.

Wow. His eyes are kind of scary.

Sirius cocked his head a little. "Lemme see your arm."

I don't get it. "Wha – my arm?"

He was still giving me that funny look. This wasn't right. I knew Sirius. The only time Sirius was ever…serious was when he and Mum argued about –

I slumped back into my seat, sighing slowly and passed a hand over my face. Shit…

"I knew it," Pettigrew declared.

"I'm not a Death Eater," I muttered.

Well, let me tell you the Marauders are deaf when they want to be.

"I told you," Potter gave Sirius a pointed look. "I told you! But nooo, we have to make sure, you said-,"

"Hello, I just said I'm not-,"

"90 chance she isn't, you said-,"

"You're ranting, Prongs," Lupin interrupted.

"Well what do we do now?" Pettigrew demanded. "I mean, we can't just let a Death Eater go-,"

For crying out loud – "I'm not a Death Eater!" I snapped. They shut up and looked at me. Oops…

"You're not?" Sirius repeated.

They were all looking at me…I sunk deeper into my chair and looked at a particularly interesting spot on the ceiling. "Well…no."

Sirius broke out into a grin. "That's good," he decided, leaning back into his chair.

Wow…somebody's actually happy I'm not a Death Eater. I don't know why that made me feel good…I mean, I want to work for the Dark Lord, don't I?

Yes! Yes I do! Yeah!

"Why do you care, anyways?" I mumbled. "I'm going to be."

"Now there's the snag, Ivy," he cocked his head a little. "Dear old Mum sent you a letter, didn't she?"

If Reggie ever found out I was talking to Sirius he would shun me for life.

"What's it to you?"

"Dear dear, is that an attitude? Why, my fingers may just slip on your lovely wand here and snap - !"

"Alright, yes! She sent me a letter yesterday! Git…"

"Yesterday," he repeated, running a hand through his hair. "Okay. Yeah. So listen." He gave me a look I hadn't seen since we last lived together. "You are not becoming a Death Eater."

That startled me. "What?"

"You're not becoming a Death Eater." He repeated.

"I am so," I stated indignantly.

He snorted. "Are not,"

"Am so,"

"Are not!"

Ah ha, he's getting' mad. "Am so."

His eyes flared. "As long as I'm here you're not!"

"And what exactly do you propose I do? Run away like you did?"

"Yes!"

Bloody hell, the moron. "And what do you propose I do then? Live with a friend?" I leant forward, give him a pointed look. "Who are my friends, Sirius?"

He opened his mouth to retaliate, then faulted. Yeah, that's right. Use that empty head of yours, you prat.

"Severus would be real welcoming to let a 'traitor' into his house. And we all know the Malfoy family would just welcome me with open arms. Not to mention the fact that I don't want to disappoint my friends-,"

"Merlin, this isn't about disappointing your friends, or our parents!" he snapped.

I can safely say I never, ever want to be on the receiving end of Sirius' anger again. It was even worse than watching him and Mum yell at eachother. I could feel the colour drain out of my face.

"You're ready to kill other people, Ivy? Do you actually think you can do an Unforgivable Curse? Well? Do you?"

Dammit. Is there a 'maybe' option? I can't retaliate to him when he's yelling at me like that. I don't talk to him for ever and now we're here having the argument of a lifetime.

But he doesn't understand…

I stared down at my feet, not having the courage to stand up to him.

"What…I…know what the Dark Lord is like. It's all I ever hear about." I took a deep breath. "But I'm not like you. I'm not a Gryffindor. I'm in Slytherin. I hear every Death Eater plot. I know things that no one other than a Death Eater should know. If I don't work for him, what do you think he'd do to someone whom he knows is well-informed about his operations?"

I was now trying not to cry. This…I-I was pathetic. But at the same time, this was the first time I was realising all this. Voldemort would kill me if I didn't join him. He'd kill me…

"I don't want to die, Sirius…"

He looked as if someone had slapped him. For a second he just stood there – at some point he'd stood up – attempting to speak but not quite making any coherent words. Finally he sighed.

"Mum's a hopeless case," he muttered. "And she dragged Regulus down with her. I couldn't help him. But I will help you. And you will not become a Death Eater. Got it?"

He can't help me. I know he can't. It's nice that he actually cares when all this time I thought he didn't, but really. What can he possibly do about it? I won't let down my family.

And I'm terrified of dying.