Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Author's Note: Revised and corrected in preparation for actually finishing this story at last. Also, if you want to see what I've been doing in the last year check out Fimbulwinter, my original novel now available as a Kindle ebook on Amazon (just got to www_amazon_com/dp/B00KZ41LHM , or go to the main page and search books for "Fimbulwinter, by E. William Brown").


Tsunade hated mornings. Especially the morning after a night spent drinking and gambling, though she seldom had the opportunity for that since becoming Hokage. But staring at the endless piles of paperwork covering her desk she reflected that a hangover and an empty purse might well be an improvement.

"At least I'd be having fun." She grumbled.

"Did you say something, sensei?" Sakura asked. The teenage kunoichi had been fluttering about the office since dawn, filing and organizing with disgusting good cheer.

"Never mind. What are you so happy about, anyway?"

"What do you mean? It's spring, it's a beautiful day, and we haven't had a crisis in over a week. Why wouldn't I be happy?"

Tsunade raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, alright," Sakura relented. "I'm also glad that Naruto's finally coming home."

I can't wait to show him how much stronger I've gotten, she gloated to herself. The first time we spar I'm going to kick his ass just for old time's sake, and then he'll never mistake me for that weak little girl I used to be.

"I thought so. Well, your boy-toy won't be here for a few days yet, so try to contain yourself."

Sakura sputtered, ignoring a knock at the door. "Hey! It's not like that, sensei! Naruto and I are just old teammates. You know Sasuke's the one I want."

The door swung open, and a voice observed, "Then I guess I'd better hurry up and drag his sorry ass back here for you, huh?"

Sakura gasped, and spun to face the door. "Naruto?!"

"In the flesh," the orange-clad ninja grinned. "At least, I think I'm the real one." He stepped into the room, and the girl had just enough time to notice how tall he'd grown before he swept her off her feet and spun her around in an exuberant hug.

"It's good to see you Sakura!" Naruto exclaimed. His chakra surrounded her in an invisible blanket of power, automatically caressing her smaller aura in a technique he called Affectionate Embrace.

Naruto knew intellectually that having a higher chakra level than your target could make intimate techniques a lot more effective, but as he'd only tried them on his own clones he failed to anticipate what this meant in practice. As he set her down Sakura sighed happily and melted into his arms, her usual embarrassment over public displays of affection completely forgotten. "Oh, Naruto!" She murmured. "Welcome back."

Wow, he thought. Sakura's even hotter that before! Firm young breasts pressed into his chest as she squirmed slightly against him. Then she looked up to meet his eyes, and for a split second he thought she was going to kiss him.

Tsunade cleared her throat. "Should I give you two some time alone?"

Sakura blushed furiously, and practically teleported across the room. "Um, no, no, of course not." My god, the young kunoichi thought. When did Naruto get so hot? I've got to get me some of that! I wonder if he's still got that thing for me?

Sakura firmly squelched that line of thought as she searched for a distraction to hide her embarrassment.

"Tsunade!" Naruto obliged by leaning over the desk to hug the older woman. This time he carefully suppressed his aura, thanks to years of Jiraiya's stories about how the Slug Sage despised perverted jutsu. Not that Naruto saw anything especially perverted about the technique, but better safe than sorry.

"Welcome back, kiddo." She smiled at him, her bad mood forgotten. "You must have made good time. I wasn't expecting you for a couple of days yet."

"Oh, I just flew in this morning." He tried to be blasé, but couldn't completely keep the pride out of his voice. "Jiraiya's too paranoid to ride on my fans, so he's coming the slow way. I left a couple of clones with him to make sure he actually shows up."

"Hmph. Well, I can see that his reports on your training weren't completely exaggerated, at least. I'd planned on setting up an evaluation match for you, but I'm afraid your opponent just got back from a rough mission."

"Yeah, I know. You've had to work the jounin pretty hard lately, between all the intrigue in the kingdom and that border trouble with Stone." He noted her expression, and chuckled. "Hey, Jiraiya's been teaching me infiltration for years, remember? I figured the best place to start practicing would be at home."

"But, that's impossible." Sakura interjected. "You haven't been here in person, and I know you couldn't have used shadow clones. They only last a few hours at most, and they can't go more than a mile or two from their maker."

Naruto nodded. "Sure, sure, you're absolutely right, Sakura. I must be confused or something. We all know what a dummy I am, right?" He assumed a befuddled expression, and scratched his head. "Oh, yeah. I, uh, I guess it musta been a dream. Hey, I'm hungry. You got any ramen?" He looked the pinkette over hopefully, as if she might have a bowl or two in her shuriken pouch.

Sakura giggled, and swatted him. "Oh, you! Quite that!"

Annoyed as she was at the implication that he'd infiltrated Konoha deeply enough to collect information on recent mission results, Tsunade was suddenly reminded of how much more effective Jiraiya's information network had become in the last year. If Naruto could really maintain clones in another city… and had the wind mastery to pull off A-rank flight techniques… and she could see for herself that his chakra reserves were monstrously huge, more like a bijuu than anything human… and he'd obviously grown up quite a bit as well…

"Alright, Naruto, I've decided. Since I don't have anyone available to test you right now, I'll just have to do it myself." The fact that it got her out of doing paperwork for an hour or two was beside the point. Really.

-oOoOo-

As expected, training Ground Sixteen was empty when they arrived. Sakura and Shizune edged away as they reached the clearing, not wanting to be too close to the impending battle.

"Alright, Naruto, we're going to do your typical bell test here." Tsunade held up a single bell, and tied it around her neck. It promptly vanished into her massive cleavage, leaving only the thin string it hung from visible. "Now, I don't want you to hold back. If you don't come at me with everything you've got I'm going to get pissed off, and believe me when I say you don't want that."

Naruto raised a hand. "Um, does that have to include hentaijutsu attacks? Because Jiraiya always said you'd murder anyone who tried one on you, and considering what his stuff feels like I don't blame you. But I don't want you to think I'm holding back just because you never see me use one."

Tsunade started to reply, then frowned dangerously and crossed her arms. "Naruto, how exactly do you know what it feels like to be the target of those techniques?"

"Did you ever read the old man's file on what my Sexy Technique really does?"

She shook her head.

He sighed, and looked away. "Short version: it's a real transformation, not an illusion, physical and mental. And pervo-sensei insisted I had to learn that stuff, but I wasn't about to practice something like Orchid Bows to the Storm on some strange civilian girl." He blushed, and kicked a clod of dirt. "Anyway, I know you're probably immune but I've got such a stupidly high chakra level it might make sense to try something anyway, but that would be really creepy since you're kinda the closest thing I've got to a mom."

Naruto half-expected the volatile Sannin to blow up at him for bringing up such a perverted topic, but instead she actually looked sympathetic. "Don't sweat it, kiddo. Just stick with actual combat techniques. Although… do you know the counters for those damned pressure point techniques Orochimaru used to collect?"

He nodded.

"Interesting. Ok, we'll save that for later." She stepped back, checked the bell, and resumed her stance. "Ok, let's get this show on the road. Ready? Go!"

"Heh. Ok, granny. Prepare to loose!" He stepped back and made a single seal. "Ninja Clone Squad!"

Instead of identical clones, the technique produced what looked for all the world like a typical chuunin team – a leader in his early twenties, plus a pair of teenage boys and a girl the same age. The kunoichi's scanty attire suggested an infiltration or genjutsu specialist, while the rest bore a varied assortment of swords, knives and combat wire.

"Cute." Tsunade chuckled.

"You ain't seen nothing yet. Ninja Team Replication!" The four clones became forty, in groups of four spaced widely about the clearing. An instant later the closest two groups leaped to attack while the more distant ones faded into the trees, and the fight was on.

Tsunade immediately discovered that these clones were more than just diversions. They fought with perfect coordination and jounin-level taijutsu skills, dodging her attacks with preternatural speed that had to be some kind of wind jutsu. One member of each team used Rasengan, which wasn't too unexpected, but another used blades sheathed in wind chakra while the girls threw kunai on chakra strings.

Correction, she noted as she narrowly avoided a cluster of flying blades, the girls use airborne kunai as puppets. A blade for every finger, that's pretty damned good for someone who wasn't trained in Suna.

Time to get some breathing room.

Tsunade leapt over a pair of attacking clones, twisted out of the way of a chakra-sheathed sword blade and cut a half-dozen chakra strings with a wave of one hand as she drew a kunai with the other. Then she ducked low and slammed a super-powered fist into the ground, shattering the earth in a forty-foot radius and thrusting hundreds of jagged stones into the air.

Not a single clone was dispelled. The boys leaped into the air before the shockwave could reach them, the girls wove gracefully through the newly formed obstacle course, and the 'adults' simply smashed anything that threatened them with Rasengans.

Ok, then, I guess the kid learned how to dodge. I'll have to step it up a bit.

As the kunoichi clones closed back into striking range she unleashed a barrage of senbon needles disguised by a genjutsu of an even bigger barrage. Six clones puffed out of existence as the needles struck, although she noted with surprise that the other two she'd targeted actually evaded her attack. An instant later her highly trained nose picked out the barely-detectable scent of knockout gas.

Shit! She thought. How? The clones? How do you make a clone out of knockout gas?! She body flickered to a nearby tree to escape the barely-visible cloud.

There was an exploding tag stuck to the trunk next to her landing spot.

She flickered away again as it detonated, arriving at a more distant tree. Another clone team was waiting there.

To hell with this, she thought, and smashed the tree with a supercharged fist. It exploded into a mass of flying debris that dispelled three of the clones, and gave her a few seconds of cover to take an antidote. Naruto probably wouldn't try poison twice against a medic-nin of her level, but it never hurt to make sure. She landed lightly, noting with approval that the kunoichi clone had actually managed to dodge everything and was standing on another tree making seals.

"Typhoon Dragon!"

The explosion of wind blasted the Slug Sannin through two trees and back into the clearing, where she rolled to her feet just in time to spot a clone descending on her with a Rasengan the size of a beach ball in his hand. She did a substitution, but even from twenty yards away the blast from that impact blew her back off her feet and pelted her with a hail of shrapnel that would have shredded most ninja.

That was the pattern for the next fifteen minutes. Fast as the clones were Tsunade was even faster, and she picked them off steadily. But the supply of opponents was endless, and they took advantage of their numbers to prepare traps and ambushes while keeping her too hard-pressed to do the same. She was spending chakra like water just keeping up this pace, and Naruto showed no sign of tiring. He's got to be burning chakra ten times as fast as I am, she thought, but damned if he isn't outlasting me anyway.

Then she punched a clone, and it exploded.

The blast popped the rest of her current attackers. Two of them blew up as well, producing a fireball that filled half the clearing. As the smoke cleared Tsunade staggered back to her feet, punch-drunk and frantically extinguishing her smoldering clothes, to discover a single grinning Naruto approaching her.

"That's one kill, granny. I could have made the blast ten times that size. Give up yet?"

"Like hell I will!" she growled. But crap, a blast that big would have blown my arm off. As it is my right hand's nearly useless until I get a chance to heal it.

Then the remaining wisps of smoke coalesced into a female shape, which wrapped an arm around Naruto's shoulders and handed him the bell.

"What the hell?" Frantically looking down, Tsunade confirmed that she'd lost the bell somewhere along the way.

"Thanks, Sira-chan!" Naruto exclaimed as he took it. "Good thing you used string instead of ninja wire, granny."

"Ok, kiddo, I guess you won that round." Tsunade grumbled, but secretly she was pleased. Damn, the kid's gotten good. But if he's fighting at this level just reforming Team Seven won't work. Hell, he's tougher than Kakashi now, and almost as tricky.

"What the hell is that, anyway?" She went on. "Another new clone variant, or some kid of summon?"

"Oh, this is my friend Sirasa. She's a northern gale, but she likes to hang out with humans sometimes, so we've got a deal that she'll let me summon her if I make soulless clones for her to posses."

"A storm kami? Well, I suppose you are at that level now, but be careful. High-level spirits can be a real bitch to deal with if you piss them off."

Sirasa smirked. "Silly ninja girl, Naruto can summon me any time. I haven't had this much fun since Toltir went wandering."

With that the strange girl dispersed back into smoke and disappeared.

Tsunade chuckled. "Well, someone likes you. Good job, kiddo. After a performance like that I'll have to take a close look at the team assignments to figure out where to put you. Why don't you take the rest of the day off, and come by my office in the morning."

"Sure thing, Tsunade. I can't wait to see everyone again." Shizune and Sakura cautiously approached the scene, and he turned to greet them. "Hey, Sakura, I won! Want to have lunch with me to celebrate?"

"Sure, Naruto. But you're buying!"

Hey, does that make this a date? Naruto thought to himself. Nah, this is Sakura. She's just mooching off me because she knows I'll let her. Ah well, it's worth it. "No problem, Sakura-chan."

-oOoOo-

They'd run into Shikamaru and Temari on the way, and the pair – who stridently denied being a couple – had somehow invited themselves along. Naruto didn't mind, since it gave him a chance to catch up with old acquaintances.

"Congratulations on making jounin, Temari. Man, I can't believe I'm the only one from our year who's still a genin."

"Yeah, like I really believe that," the Sand kunoichi reply dryly. "You survive two fights with S-rank missing nin, serve a three-year apprenticeship under a Sannin, and the minute you get back the Hokage has to evaluate your skills personally, but you're just some random genin. You guys don't really think anyone is buying this, do you?"

"Hey, it's true!" Sakura insisted. "He was only here for one chuunin exam, and the council didn't approve him for promotion."

"So? Can't Sannin do field promotions? Or the Hokage, for that matter?"

"Actually, no." Shikamaru answered. "It's a troublesome situation. The Third Hokage let the council take on a strong advisory role on promotions twenty years ago, and they've become entrenched. There are only a few ways around them."

"Bring a major new bloodline into the village, be a clan heir and have your elder sponsor you, or be in ANBU during a war and get promoted by the Hokage." Naruto recited. "Not gonna happen, and those old fossils will never vote for me. But don't worry, I've got an angle…"

Temari would have pressed for details, but the group was interrupted by an ambush from a side street. "Aha! I found you, boss! Now, prepare to feel the power of my ultimate jutsu. Sexy Technique!"

Naruto turned just in time to get an eye full as Konohamaru transformed into a curvaceous brunette clothed only in a few strategically-placed wisps of smoke. The younger genin held the technique for a few seconds before returning to his normal self. "Get a load of that! Packed some real oomph, didn't it?"

The short genin's teammates cringed in embarrassment. Temari seemed vaguely amused, and Shikamaru was carefully looking elsewhere, but Sakura growled and clenched her fist. Naruto chuckled and put a hand on her shoulder.

"No need for that, now. You know Konohamaru, I'm not a kid anymore. I don't rely on techniques like that, and you shouldn't either."

Oh! Sakura thought. He really has matured.

"This is much more effective!" With a casual hand-seal Naruto was replaced by his female alter-ego. But unlike the transformation he'd used as a kid, this time there was no noise or smoke to draw attention to the technique. He just blurred momentarily, and changed.

Girl-Naruto wasn't naked, but her outfit of orange spandex shorts, black sports bra, orange half-jacket, black fingerless gloves, and low black boots left little to the imagination. Sakura noted that even as a girl Naruto was slightly taller than her, with the ultra-toned body of a serious kunoichi melee specialist. But those curves! Those incredible breasts! And her hair – real girls would kill for hair like that! It fell clear to her thighs in a rippling cascade of gold that would be impossible to manage in combat, except that the way it floated made it obvious the pervert was using some kind of hair animation technique.

Naruto's prettier than I am. No, he's prettier than Ino! Damn it, I'd give anything to get my hands on…I mean, to have a body like that!

Her distraction lasted long enough for Naruto to call up an identical clone, and carry on his explanation. "See, you can actually do a mission like this without giving yourself away, and most guys will think you're some wimpy seduction type and underestimate you. Then if you still get in trouble you just call up a clone and hit'em with the old Hot Twins Fanservice technique – if they're still trying to kill you after that they're gay!"

"Oooh."

Unfortunately Naruto mistook Konohamaru's wide-eyed expression for admiration, so she didn't realize her danger until Sakura's fist impacted her head.

"Pervert!"

There was a moment of rubbery resistance, and the golden-haired girl dissolved in a puff of smoke. The pinkette checked herself and looked wildly around.

"Gee, guess that wasn't the real me after all." The clone snickered.

"You… but… when… argh!" Sakura sputtered. "Why did you switch yourself with a clone, Naruto!"

The jinchuuriki shrugged. "I always do that in hazardous situations. Keeps me from getting killed in a surprise attack. So, are we good or do you need to hit me again?"

"I…" Sakura stared at her former teammate's relaxed expression while a whirlwind of conflicting responses ran through her head. He thinks walking down the street with me is a dangerous mission? Is he saying he can't trust me? Well, I did try to hit him. But he deserved it, he was being a pervert! Although, I guess I did hit him pretty hard. And he…she's actually not dressed any worse than some of the jounin. But she makes me feel so weird! So I attack him? God, this is so confusing!

Finally she hung her head. "I'm sorry, Naruto. I overreacted. I just… that technique really bothers me for some reason."

"Does it? Okay then, I'll try not to use it when you're around." The female clone shifted, becoming the male Naruto again, and slipped an arm around her shoulders. "So, lunch?"

Sakura shivered and leaned into the embrace as the tension flowed out of her body. "Y-yeah. Lunch."

"Ok, then. See you later, Konohamaru. Gotta go." Naruto waved at the younger genin and nodded to Shikamaru, who was regarding him with an unusually focused expression. Then he headed on down the street with his former teammate in tow.

Shikamaru hesitated for a long moment before following. Did he just confirm that he beat Tsunade's bell test without even being present? Yes, I think he did. But whatever that was, it was no shadow clone. So the class clown is now an S-rank ninja, and he's actually keeping quiet about it instead of bragging all over town. But why did he want to make sure I'd noticed?

"Troublesome."

Temari laughed and dragged her not-boyfriend off to rejoin their friends.

-oOoOo-

"You can't be serious, Tsunade!" Shizune stared at her mentor in shock.

The blonde Sannin leaned back in her chair and raised an eyebrow at her assistant. "Can't I? Why not?"

"Tsunade, he's only fifteen! Look, I can see your point about not re-forming Team Seven. If he's as strong as you say it would throw off the team dynamics completely, and I'm not sure Kakashi could handle him. But that doesn't mean we have to get crazy about this! We could have him try some infiltration missions with those clones of his, or do a stint in ANBU. We could even pair him up with a hunter-nin, if you really want to put him to the test. But Anko!"

Tsunade chuckled. "Yeah, she's a handful. Three team leaders hospitalized, five forced transferrs to other teams, even one mental retirement. At this point no one else in the village will take her, so she's stuck with solo missions and assisting Ibiki. But can you imagine what a resource she'd be if we could get her back into a stable team?"

Shizune gave her a dubious look. "You know what she'll do to him, Tsunade. She can't help it. She'll end up seducing him after their first battle together, and it will only go downhill from there. Do you really want his first time to be with a dominatrix assassin who can't tell the difference between pleasure and pain?"

"Ah, but what if she fails?"

"Excuse me?" Shizune blinked. "This is Anko we're talking about. Even jounin can't resist her techniques."

"But Naruto knows the counters."

"What?!"

"You heard me. Orochimaru lost interest in that stuff years ago, but Jiraiya's as obsessed as ever. He's taught our Naruto at least most of what he knows, including the counters for those seduction techniques Anko loves so much. Between that and his chakra level she'll never make any headway."

"Oh. Well, I suppose that might work, especially considering how oblivious he is. But still…" She broke off, and gave her sensei a measuring look. "Why are you so set on this?"

"The kid needs a chance to prove himself, Shizune. No one in this town has ever taken him seriously, you know. Maybe he deserved some of that as a child, but now he's come back from training all grown up and looking to show us what he can do. He wants to prove he's good for more than just mindless 'blow stuff up'-type missions, and I want to give him a shot at it."

"As for Anko…can you imagine what it would be like to carry one of those cursed seals for fourteen years? Spending most of that time on solo missions, doing the dirtiest jobs the village has because no one dares trust you? Having to fight to hold onto your sanity every single day, and knowing that no matter what you do you're going to loose in the end?"

She sighed. "I remember her when she was still a genin, Shizune. Before her sensei betrayed her, and her hero died, and Jiraiya and I ran away. She came back here knowing full well how she was going to be received, and she's been paying her dues every day since then. If there's anything this village can do to help her, we owe it to her to try."

-oOoOo-

Late that evening a slight figure crept stealthily over the rooftops towards Naruto's apartment. She moved with the easy assurance of one who knows the area like the back of her hand, effortlessly avoiding notice from the inhabitants of nearby buildings and the occasional traveler on the streets below. Even the chuunin on neighborhood watch duty failed to notice her passing, and she settled into her old spot across from her target with a quiet smile of satisfaction.

"Byakugan!"

She didn't really need the seal to active her bloodline these days, but the ritual brought back nostalgic memories of the times she'd done this as a genin. Hinata smiled as she looked though the dingy concrete walls to find Naruto fast asleep in his bed.

"Naruto," she sighed. Welcome back, my love. Oh, look at you! You've grown so tall, and those muscles! Somehow, I've got to find a way to tell you how I feel.

She noticed the kunoichi on watch down the block turn in her direction, and frowned in annoyance. What had given her away? There were a million excuses she could use to explain away her presence here, but there was always a chance her father would hear about it…

Then the girl body flickered to the roof where Hinata hid, and she was struck by an odd sense of déjà vu. That hair, that face, that incredible figure – there was something familiar about this girl.

"Hinata-chan! It's good to see you again!" Hinata squeaked as the curvaceous blonde swept her into a tight embrace, and she suddenly realized why the 'girl' seemed familiar.

"N-Naruto? Is that you?"

"Yep. Oh, right, I'm still a girl. Here." She reverted to he, soft curves replaced in an instant with hard muscle. "Man, I've missed you. How have you been?"

"I…" Naruto's muscular arms held her close, and she was acutely conscious of the way her generous breasts were pressed against his firm chest. "You…" His chakra enveloped her, impossibly strong, offering affection, tenderness, protection… and passion? "Please…" Hinata's head swam and her face flushed, just like in the old days. But the sudden surge of desire awakened something else, something that turned her own chakra against itself in a way that couldn't possibly be natural. "No! Help me!" She gasped.

And fainted.

"Huh. She did it again." Naruto scratched his head, and considered the unconscious girl. That can't have been too much chakra, I was barely using any at all. Should I take her home? No, she asked for help. For all I know her family could be the problem.

So he took her back to his apartment, and sent the clone there out to take over sentry duty while he made her as comfortable as possible on his dusty old couch. A field-grade medical scan showed no physical problems, just the aftereffects of some kind of shock to her chakra system. There were all sorts of things that could have that kind of effect, and most of them would wear off on their own in a few minutes.

Running through that catalogue of possibilities didn't do much to set Naruto's mind at ease. When Hinata finally began to stir he was careful to stay well away from her, just in case.

"Oh." Hinata sat up slowly. "I fainted again, didn't I?"

"Yeah," Naruto replied. "I'm starting to get worried about you, Hinata. It seems like every time I get near you I end up making you pass out."

She looked away. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, I just want to know what's happening to my friend. Are you alright?"

"Y-yes." She responded automatically, then stopped to consider. "Perhaps. I think… there are things the Hyuuga don't normally discuss with anyone outside the clan."

"Yeah, I was afraid it was something like that." She glanced up at him sharply, and he shrugged. "Hey, I'm Jiraiya's apprentice, and I'm not as clueless as I used to be. I'm not going to pry into your clan secrets if you don't want me too. But Hinata, if there's anything I can do to help you, and I mean anything at all, all you have to do is ask."

That got him a hint of a smile. "Thank you. But I'm not even sure if I'm right."

"How can we find out?"

He was so serious, and yet so open, that she couldn't help but take his offer seriously. "K-kiss me."

She expected stammering, shock, at least hesitation. A chance to let him back out gracefully, and go find a more decorous way to test her theory. Instead, he simply replied, "all right."

And gently cupped her head between his calloused hands.

And kissed her.

It was glorious. Better than she'd ever dared dream. Infinite strength surrounded her with loving protection as a riptide of searing pleasure shot through her, instantly filling her with trembling desire…

…and something within her erupted in reaction to that desire, twisting it into a flare of agony that tore a scream from her throat before she collapsed again into unconsciousness.

This time when she awoke Naruto was pacing and punching the air while muttering to himself. Noticing her movement, he turned to face her.

"Hinata, I saw it this time. It's the Seven Virtues Chastity Seal."

Her expression turned to ice. "I know. I saw it as well."

"But for it to react like that just from hugging me, you'd have to…"

He trailed off, unable to actually say it. Normally she might have smiled at discovering the limits of his newfound maturity, but at that moment the rage that filled her left no room for anything else.

"Yes, Naruto. Ever since we were children."

Naruto stared at her in stunned bewilderment. "Wow. I'd thought maybe… well, but we never talked about it, and I didn't want…" He stopped, and shook his head. "Sorry, I'm babbling. We'll talk about that later. What can I do?"

She rose, making each small movement with exaggerated precision. "You studied under Jiraiya. Can you remove the seal?"

"Normally I'd say yes, but this thing is just stupidly oversensitive. I can't even get close to you without setting it off, so it'd be tricky. Not impossible, but it would probably take a few weeks to come up with something. Damn it, what were they thinking? That thing makes you an easy target for any seduction specialist you meet, or even a genjutsu type if they figure out it's there. Just the slightest exposure to the wrong kind of technique and it'll knock you out instantly."

"Yes," she replied. "I know. Please excuse me, Naruto. I'm going to kill my father now."

"Would you like help?"

The calm sincerity of his offer reached her, even in her icy rage. Would he actually murder a clan head for me? Even though he barely knows me, and he'd probably be executed himself for the crime?

No. Not for my sake.

"No, thank you. This is a problem I must deal with myself. Good evening, Naruto."

Unable to risk touching him, she made do with a formal bow.

And left.

-oOoOo-

Naturally, Naruto sent a clone to tail her in case she needed backup. But when an hour passed with no sign of a disturbance he decided Hinata must have stopped short of actual violence, and heaved a sigh of relief. The sentry clones around his apartment reported no further intrusions, so he finally settled in for a few minutes of meditation before bed.

At least, that's what an observer would have seen.

In a small country inn two day's ninja march from Konoha a clone nodded to himself as he received the memories of his counterpart's day. He replied with his own update and went to bed, already considering how to ask Jiraiya for advice on releasing a booby-trapped virginity seal without giving away Hinata's identity.

In a hidden valley among the hills of northern Fire Country another pair of clones grinned at each other across the campfire. Seal research was incredibly dangerous, but there were plenty of spots in the valley their experiments hadn't blown up yet.

In the Hidden Mist ninja academy, an orphan boy who looked nothing like Naruto held up the sword he'd been sharpening. The 'child prodigy' briefly contemplated the fact that a steel blade has no tenketsu to seal, and resolved to ask his instructors about techniques for fighting against jyuuken users in the morning.

In the dormitory across the quad a young girl who was in line to graduate at the tender age of nine rose from her bed and pulled out her poison handbook. Suddenly the possibility of needing a discrete assassination technique seemed a lot more urgent than when she'd begun this infiltration.

Far to the north, the mysterious young man who served as the most trusted bodyguard of Snow Country's queen resolved to send a clone out house-hunting in the morning. His quarters in the palace had always been enough for him, but a friend who might be on the run from her family would need something roomy and discrete. Maybe a place up in the mountains, where real estate was cheap and there weren't many neighbors.

A dozen other clones spread all across the elemental countries merely acknowledged the memories, and replied with their own daily updates. Some were training, others working to amass funds or infiltrate a promising target. None had any obvious contribution to make in solving this particular problem, so they simply noted it and went on with their various projects.

The exception was a young man with tanned skin and sun-bleached hair who sat on a deserted beach, watching the moon rise over a tiny Sea Country island that no other human had visited in months. Finally he nodded to himself, and rose.

"Alright, it looks like Konoha is going to need reinforcements no matter what happens. The guy I've got for missions, another one to watch the town, and probably a third for Hinata. They'd better be tougher than those persistent shadow clones, too. One good hit can still take those guys out, and I'm not betting anyone's life that I'll always be able to dodge. Ah well, I guess I won't be doing any training for a few days."

Drawing a small knife he carefully slit his left arm from elbow to wrist, taking care to miss the tendons while hitting as many veins as possible. Then he dropped the knife and began forming seals as he channeled chakra into what might well be the most energy-intensive ninjutsu technique ever created.

"Demonic Blood Transformation Technique: Permanent Living Clone!"


Omake:

Temari chuckled and dragged her not- boyfriend off to rejoin their friends, leaving the younger genin behind. Konohamaru watched them leave with a stunned expression.

Finally Moegi shook him. "Hey, Konohamaru, snap out of it. What's wrong with you?"

"Don't you get it, Moegi? The boss just showed us a technique ninja have dreamed of for generations. Something most people think is impossible. Even the super-pervert Jiraiya could never pull it off."

The young kunoichi frowned at him. "What are you talking about? All he did was turn into a girl and… wait…" Her eyes suddenly widened.

"That's right," Konohamaru said reverently. "He just countered the Righteous Female Fury technique."

Udon gaped at them. "My god, you're right. He… he even… Konohamrau, she even apologized!"