Centuries of Love
Chapter 1: The Ambitious, Vain, but Empty Superstar
"Yes, beautiful, beautiful! Now smile to the left, then smile to the right, perfect! " The photographer declared and checked the shots that she got from her camera. "These are beautiful pictures, Mikan! " She added in delight.
I just breathed and looked at her blankly.
She smiled at me. I don't know why she kept on doing that, didn't she even realize that my smile in the pictures are fake?
"Well, since you did a really good job, why don't you take a break? " She asked as she went towards me and winked. "Try the chocolate banana crepe down the street, they are exquisite! And don't forget to match it with some caramel Frappuccino, it'll be heaven! " She exclaimed as she looked at me with unfathomable eyes. "But…be back here after an hour, I need to discuss to you the colours and the backgrounds for the cover page of your album. " She reminded me professionally as she turned her back and took her iPad from her bag and began downloading the pictures in there.
I sighed and walked towards the dressing room.
When I went in there, I quickly grabbed by cream coloured trench coat and orange scarf, it's the mid-season of autumn and the winds are getting colder and colder as the days pass.
I was about to get out when I saw the door open gently.
"Good job, Mikan. " I heard a manly voice say. It was Masachika Shiki, my manager, and probably the only person that I trusted outside my family.
He went behind me and handed me a cup of my favourite cappuccino.
"Thanks. " I said and sipped the cappuccino.
"By the way, tomorrow, you're going to have a recording session with Sony music Enterprises, I heard Selena and Chantelle will be featured in that music video too, you three will present the three graces in the modern version of Greek Mythology. "
"I see… "
"By the way, Iona Lewis told me that you and I should try the chocolate banana crepe down the block. "
I rolled my eyes. "I can't eat any sweet things right now, I have other photoshoots to go to after this one. "
He raised his brow at me. "Just a little, if you really are a weight conscious person, you and I can share for one crepe, besides, I know you haven't eaten anything yet, you never eat anything not unless you were extremely hungry, say about 2 days, and within those days, all you do is stuff yourself with apple or orange juice. Need I remind you that you're starting to look and belong to one of the anorexic bitches in this industry?"
I sighed. So what if I wanted to starve myself? I'm fat, if I wanted to look like a superstar, I have to be size zero, and in Hollywood, skinny means gorgeous and beautiful.
Afterall, I never worked hard for nothing, I've always wanted to be famous and being envied at because of my looks and fame, call me ambitious and vain but that's what I wanted.
And to prove to all of them that this ugly, idiotic and stupid girl also had the guts to rise from the ashes and be a star.
"So, are we going? " I heard Shiki ask again.
I exhaled. "Shiki, I'm not going and that's the end of it. " I dismissed.
He breathed and rolled his eyes. "Fine, but I'm going, I feel like I wanted to eat something sweet today after your sour comments. " He replied meaningfully and dashed out of the door.
I bit my lip after this, I felt guilty when I projected my bad mood at him, I wanted to apologize, but he was out of the door.
Letting go of my lip, I just sat and leaned on my chair while sipping my Frappuccino.
After the covershoot, I went through the Vogue magazine studio next, I had an appointment in there, so I came and went directly to the stylist.
When I came out, I was wearing a beautiful flowing tube dress in dusky pink colour, my hair was adorned with pearls, and my make up was flawless.
"Okay, Mikan, now put your palm behind your head, then smile.
I did as what he told me, I can see the satisfaction in his face, but his eyes told a different story. I can tell that he was searching for something inside of me, he looked a bit…intrigued.
After I finished, I decided to pack my things and head towards my next appointment, I was about to go when I overheard the staff talking.
"Whoa…so beautiful. " One of the staff exclaimed and when I peeked, I saw that it was my picture and I smirked inwardly.
"Just look at those mesmerizing eyes, those pouting, sensual lips, and curvaceous body! Man, this girl had lots of assets! "
I halfsmiled. Another point for me.
"True, but her eyes are so hollow…so empty. "
I stopped sniggering at that comment, and when I peeked, I saw that it was the director.
" But sir, just look at her, her performance and work was perfect and flawless. "One of the staff interjected.
"True again, but she was lifeless, empty, like a beautiful doll with no sparks of life inside her, it's as if she was just motioned to move and perform, but not to feel…nor to love… "
I bit my lip at that.
I heard about it a lot of times, some of them stabbing me behind my back, saying that I was so lifeless and empty, like a mannequin. Some of them are even saying that I'm too emotionless that I don't know how to feel anything, that even if they ridicule me, I won't feel a thing.
I exhaled as I exited the studio silently. Seriously, does anyone think about the life here in Hollywood? Does anyone really expect those star studded actors and actresses to be happy in real life? True, they maybe lying in pools of money, but everyone knows that underneath those smiles, they always shed a tear. If that's the case, isn't it the same for me?
Seriously, is it wrong to close your heart and shun away my feelings for the sake of success?
Well, not for me, anyway, that I can say. Afterall, love will never be in my dictionary.
And I never wanted to be a victim of one ever again.
After endless photoshoots and discussions, we were able to make it back at home at 10 in the evening.
Putting my black boots into the shoe rack, I immediately ran to my room, ignoring the servants that greeted me home. I was really tired, dead tired, and all I wanted is to soak myself in a hot tub.
Shaking myself out from my clothes, I quickly went to the bathroom and fill in the tub with hot water and soap
Satisfied, I sunk myself into the hot water and looked up above.
How many years has it been? I asked myself as I raised my bangs and reveal a long horizontal scar on my left forehead.
A yes, 7 years….
I snorted as I remembered the reason why I got this scar. I can't believe how foolish I am back then, falling in love with the person who injured me, trusting people who didn't even believe me, and leaving the place heartbroken and with a bad name because of something I didn't do.
Damn them to hell and back.
I shook my head. It's no use thinking about that rubbish school and rubbish people studying in there, they are nothing compared to me, I proclaimed arrogantly. I'm a pop star and a teenage actress, I am looked upon by a lot of people now, and they are nothing but trash in my eyes. I'm sure that if I'm going in there, a lot of them will befriend me again, act nice, spout lies on how they love my songs and my movies, then backstab me afterwards. Feh! As if I don't know it and as if I'm going back in trashy place.
After I finished taking my bath, I put my bathrobe and proceeded to reading my fan letters, I may be vain and selfish, but I love my fans, well, except those who came from my old school, for me, they are the hell part, whereas my fans outside that stratosphere, they are heaven for me, and they deserve my attention and hardwork.
I started to read their letters, all of them expressed how thankful they are for my songs, how they admired and envied me, and their support in my endeavour. I smiled. Fans really do lift the spirits of the stars. No wonder a lot of them were able to survive despite the dark shadowy world of showbusiness.
I was about to read another letter when I heard a knock.
"Come in. " I said.
The door opened and Shiki entered.
I felt him walk towards me and handed me a letter.
I glared daggers at him when I saw the stamp.
"Shiki, didn't I tell you specifically to trash all the letters that came from that stupid Alice Academy? I told you I never wanted to hear anything about that rubbish school. " I said, gritting my teeth in anger.
"I know that, Mikan, and I did, for the past years, but this one is different, at least try reading it. " He persuaded as he pushed the letter towards me.
"What makes you think that I will do that? " I hissed. "I hated that school more than anything else in the world. If you insist on me taking that letter, fine, but don't expect me to read it, because it will end up in the fireplace. "
Shiki exhaled. "Look, Mikan, the Principals of Alice Academy begged your mother to send this to you and read it, at least do it, besides, you're not going to die by reading a single letter from that school. "
I bit my lip. "And I told you that I don't want to remind myself anymore about that school, Shiki, please don't ruin my day by letting me read one of those. "
He ignored my statement and still handed me the letter.
"I won't read it. " I insisted stubbornly.
He gave me a condescending look. "From what I see for the last years Mikan, all you're doing is running away from your past, you hated it, but at the same time, you're escaping from it, and let me tell you something, the more you try to run away, the more that it will hunt you. It's best to face it, and you can start doing that by reading the letters of the students there. Like any other fans, they are working hard in writing one just for you. "
"And you believe their fake lies? Believe me, Shiki, I've been there, and they're all nothing but liars and two faced idiots. "
"Since you came there, aren't you one as well? "
"My case was different and you know it. "
"Well, if that's the case, then give them some credit and read a letter, it's just one, Mikan, a few minutes wouldn't kill you. " He commanded in finality as he walked towards the door. "By the way, I have an overview of the contents of the letter, if ever you're going to trash it, I will know, and believe me, if you do that, you'll regret the consequences. "
"Why are you so persistent on me reading this stupid letter? "
He shrugged. "It's your mom's strict orders, I'm just following it. " His oh so great reply before disappearing out from my room.
Grumbling, I tore the letter in rage and opened it, surprised to see a pink paper with red rose designs.
So it's from a girl.
I looked at the paper, it was clean and beautifully written. Seeing this, I decided to give it a try and read this letter.
Dear Ms. Mikan Yukihara,
My name is Yukina Shinjuku, I'm one of your fans from Alice Academy! I hope I'm not disturbing you or causing trouble upon you, I didn't mean to pile another trash for you, but I wanted you to at least read my letter.
You see, six months ago, I lived a life that was typical for a little girl like me, I played, I studied, I made friends, everything that a child is expected to do. I'm not that talented though, fact is, I'm a clumsy idiot, or so my classmates tell me, I'm also not that beautiful, I'm plain, and many of them call me ugly stupid idiot pig.
Despite this circumstances, I tried my best to be cheerful, yet, for some reason, some of my classmates hated me. For some unknown reasons of course, but I tried my hardest to ignore them, staying cheerful and happy for the sake of my friends.
One day, while I was rearranging some of the chairs for the festival, I felt someone whacked me on my neck, I immediately passed out, and when I woke up, I found myself being in terrible danger, the environment around me is burning hot, when I looked around, I saw that I was inside a burning basement, and to my horror, I was tied up and gagged, and I couldn't scream at all.
But I tried to survive, but survival was risky, and I need to sacrifice something, in this case, I have to sacrifice my vision to come out of there alive.
I was devastated at first, and I kept on crying for how many nights and days, I couldn't even remember how many, all I know is that, I'm alone, with no one to hold on to, all my friends seemed to turn their backs on me, and it seems…I was very wrong to trust them.
Days, passed by and I couldn't get over the sense of depression from losing my sight, that is, until one humid day in August.
I was just sitting blankly in my chair when I heard your name.
At first, I wasn't really interested in listening, but I have nothing to do, so I decided to listen to you.
And when I heard your voice, I was so instantly hooked! Your voice seemed to cast me on a spell, and for some reason, I wanted to hear more from you. I can tell from the start that you're different from other pop stars, every song that you write tells a story, though most of them, I can tell that it's not a happy one, but it tells the reality of life, about struggles, hardships, everything that a normal person experiences everyday, it was all encompassed in your songs. And my guess is that, all of it are stories of your life.
I may be blind now, but I can hear well, everyday I was inspired by your songs, and it helped me to push forward, to struggle as hard as I could, and know, I can read and act normally, just like a normal person should do each day.
Now, if you don't mind, I have a request…
Can you please…please have a concert here in Alice Academy? Please, please, please? All of the students here are willing to pay a thousand bucks to see you perform in front of us, and we will appreciate it if you could come and spare us a day, no matter how short it will be, the academy is even willing to shoulder your expenses from your flight to your accommodations, if you could only come here, that will be a real pleasure and heaven for all of us.
I hope you could come, I know you're a very busy person, Ms. Yukihara, but we really wanted you to sing for us and inspire us with that angelic voice of yours.
Thank you, and have a nice day.
Sincerely Yours,
Yukina Shinjuku
I felt my throat getting thick after I read the letter, I really wanted to cry, she really reminded me of myself ten years ago.
Oh, Yukina sweetheart, I would love to go in the Academy for you and fulfill your wish, no matter how I hated that place! But the problem is, I'm not sure if everyone in there is willing to welcome me.
I sighed, that girl was so strong, I have to admit, for her to survive all those bullying by herself, she must've gone through so much, and for that, I admire her.
I know what it feels like, I've been there before, yet for some reason…
I'm still afraid to go there…
Shiki was right, I'm a coward. I kept on running from the truth and my past, why couldn't I just face them like any other individual should?
Is it because I'm afraid to face them? Or is it because I'm afraid that I will be welcomed there with stones and insults rather than bouquets and sweet greetings? Well, not that I'm expecting it.
I slumped on my chair and looked up above.
So will I grant this petty girl's wish?
I closed my eyes as I dropped the letter unconsciously on the floor. I felt my eyes getting wet.
I wanted to go and grant her wish to show my appreciation and admiration. I really do, but what happens if I come there and the people started to throw stones and mock insults at me? Worst, maybe this letter is just a ploy, for me to go there and be showered with tomatoes and cream pies, then being videotaped then spread it to the internet world and named the most humiliating video of the year. Will I be able to handle it?
I clenched my fists. What if my visitation will just lead to that scenario? What will I do?
I stopped my mental tirade and looked at the starless sky.
So should I go? Or should I not go? That is the biggest question. I said to myself as I slumped on my bed and closed my eyes.
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