I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS FROM LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT FOR THEY BELONG TO DICK WOLF!


It was upon us; the first day of October. October is my favorite time of the year and just around the corner my favorite holiday, Halloween, would be here. I could act as crazy as I wanted and no one would question because, hey, 'tis the season.

My poor mother never quite understood my "darker" side. It's not like I went around kicking puppies or shanking strangers in the park, but I did immerse myself into serial killer documentaries, volunteered at any haunted attraction available, and occasionally put fake blood somewhere visible on my body and walked around like it was no big deal.

Oh, and the different personas I could portray at work! I always made bank during October since I knew how to appeal to anyone's twisted daydream.

As I was in the kitchen making my traditional pumpkin spice cream cheese crepes with a caramel drizzle to celebrate the first day of October, I couldn't help reflecting on how this year was going to be slightly different. This year I was going to be spending a night trick-or-treating. I can't remember the last time I went around dressed in a costume, knocking on strangers doors to get candy that hopefully wasn't poisoned or stuffed with a razor blade, and in just a few short weeks I was going to be doing it all again with a four year old.

Zara Amaro is the beautiful daughter of the man I am currently having relations with and her and I have been close since the first night I babysat her so of course I agreed to take her this year to make up for not being able to go last year. My mom's new partner, Nick, was transferred to SVU just a little over a year and a half ago. His wife passed during child birth so he had relied heavily on his mom to watch Zara and when she couldn't he had to scramble to find a babysitter.

That's when I stepped in.

I wasn't fond of the man for essentially taking Stabler's place, but when I went to the office to pick my mom up for lunch, roughly two weeks after he started, I heard him practically beg the babysitter to watch Zara over the weekend while his mom was away visiting his sister. I felt bad for him and it was in the moment it dawned on me Stabler left on his own accord so for me to resent Nick for something he had nothing to do with was childish. While waiting for my mom to finish up an interview, I walked over to his desk and waited for him to put the phone down.

"No. I understand," he said somberly as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "thank you anyway." He placed the phone back on the hook and sighed.

"Hey." I chirped. "I can watch Zara this weekend."

Nick looked up at me and chuckled. "I couldn't ask you to do that."

"I'm offering." I said, poking him on the shoulder.

He continued to look at me and leaned back in his chair. His eyes...I couldn't help but to gaze into them and I didn't realize the breath that was lodged in my throat until it occurred to me I wasn't breathing. Luckily, Nick didn't notice as he asked me why I would give up a weekend to watch his three year old.

I rolled my eyes as I sat down at my mom's desk while Nick leaned forward in his chair.

I huffed and looked at him. "I know my mom has been busting your chops since you first started and I haven't exactly gone out of my way to make you feel welcomed. I want to take this opportunity to make up for that."

Nick nodded his head. "I appreciate that, but what about work?" he questioned.

I broke eye contact and glanced down at my hands that were folded together on top of the desk. "I can get someone to cover my shift."

Three years and still no one knew I was a stripper. Before he had a chance to try and come up with another excuse, my mom came walking into the squad room asking if I was ready to go. I jumped up from her chair and as we were leaving I peaked over my shoulder at Nick. "Ask my mom for my number and we'll finish this conversation later!" Neither one of us knew that was going to be the start of an intimate relationship.

"Something smells delicious."

I jumped not realizing Nick was in the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around my waist and gave me a soft kiss on the back of my neck.

I giggled and gently pushed him off me. "I almost burnt one crepe; don't make me burn another."

Nick chuckled and went to pour himself a cup of coffee to which I politely declined one.

"What's the special occasion?" he asked.

"October!" I beamed, placing the crepe on top of the others and turning the stove off.

Nick laughed and kissed my right temple. He knew what I was like in October and while some were freaked out by it, he was intrigued. "I'm going to go wake the kid."

While he went to get Zara up for the day, I set the table with a cream colored table cloth, three sets of dishware, a plastic black cat center piece, and two types of fruit juice. A few minutes later she came walking over to the table rubbing the sleepiness out of her eyes.

"Good morning, sweetie," I greeted her as she pulled back a chair to sit down.

"Morning," she mumbled.

"I didn't realize how late it was," Nick stated as he sat down in his chair.

I walked into the kitchen to grab the plate of crepes and looked at the time. "It's only 8:26," I pointed out.

"Besides," I said, placing the plate on the table in the center of everyone, "I wanted her to sleep in just a little bit since I had her up later than planned."

Shoveling two crepes on her plate, Zara looked up at me. "I didn't mind staying up late with you! I like it when you stay the night and make us breakfast. You should stay more often!"

I chuckled and made my plate.

"Yeah, you should stay the night more often," Nick winked at me.

I could feel my cheeks getting pink. Zara didn't know what was going on between me and her dad and just thought I slept on the couch the nights Nick came home late from work. We wanted to keep it that way as long as possible; not just from her, but everyone. We weren't doing anything illegal, but it would look bad for a 34 year old detective to be sleeping with his partner's 22 year old daughter.

"So what are we doing this weekend?" Zara asked as she continued eating her crepes by the forkful.

"You tell me." Nick said. "I have the whole weekend off so whatever you want to do, bug."

Zara smiled and looked at me. "What are you doing?"

I quickly glanced at Nick for an answer. Did he even want me to go? Everyone knew I stayed the night when I was watching Zara during his late shifts, and that I would prepare meals for them and clean the house, get them gifts for birthdays and certain holidays, but would they think it was too much, too inappropriate, to spend time with them in public? My mom had already questioned me once about how close it seemed I was with Nick and Zara, and Nick's sister Sonya had done the same thing with him, and while we were able to get them off our backs by essentially lying and telling them there was nothing to worry about, I couldn't help but feel if we were seen in public together it would give everyone reason to talk more than they already were. I hated being put in a sitiation like this, and before I started freaking out and questiong why I was doing this in the first place, I turned my attention back to Zara.

"Um...I, uh-." I stammered. "I'm so sorry, sweetie, but I have to work all this weekend." I frowned at her.

It was true though. I had already missed one too many shifts and needed to work as much as possible to make up for the money I was missing. It was tough juggling the tasks of being a closeted stipper while helping a single dad with a four year old daughter, but so far I was making it work. I was tired, but that's why I did cocaine every now and then for that extra pep in my step. It was clear Zara was upset I wouldn't be able to spend time with her this weekend, but she said she understood. When breakfast was over, Zara went to clean up and get ready for the day while Nick and I cleaned up the table and kitchen.

"How long are we going to keep this a secret?" Nick asked as he dried a plate.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and sighed. "I don't know. Look," I said placing the skillet back in the sink and turning to him, "There is no perfect timing to tell people about something like this especially considering a few people have already made it seem like they wouldn't agree so why can't we just enjoy what we have before other people get invloved?"

Nick huffed and put up the dry dishes. "Yeah. I guess you're right." He stated not bothering to look at me.

"Nick." I said, surprised by the cold treatment I was getting all of a sudden.

"I need to go get ready. I'll see you later." And with that he walked away, leaving me stunned in the kitchen.