( Reviews are greatly appreciated and motivational to write more.
This fic will be switching on and off between Mariku and Serenity's perceptions. It is starting out with more of Mariku's thoughts but as it goes on I will be showing more of Serenity's as well with an added sort of overview of the situation. There will also be more dialogue. Warning: The following chapter contains possibly triggering content; Molestation, Mentions of rape. Thank you! )
.~.~.~.
"Blue moon.. you saw me standing alooone~ Without a dream in my heart. Without a love of my own~! "
Energetic feet padded across the floor. Hopping occasionally with a small twirl. Small hips swaying with a sort of youthful charm. She looked so beautiful this way- natural. Mariku sat in a recliner near the corner of the room, watching his new car pet exert herself to the radio. A map in his hand he seemed to neglect now with the small display. He supposed she needed it, not that he would mind either way.
His eyes catching a glimpse of that purplish bruise around her thin neck. One that vanished behind brunette locks with her vigorous movements making her hair fall just right. The room was dim with the light of one cheap lamp, just enough to give plain greenish walls a moody glow. It wasn't the finest place, not entirely disgusting either. But he had to save as much money as he could until they got to his home town. So for now, it would be the dreary motel with the questionable stains in the carpet.
He could not help those ever present thoughts that burned in the back of his skull now. Even when she displayed such childish nature.
Was he sick?
Yes. He was.
There was no denying that, even some part of himself admitted it fully. A loathsome monster for the thoughts he'd had that grew as time went on, just from being close to her. It was not her fault. It was never her fault, she did nothing to warrant this attention he held tightly locked up in his mind waiting to burst. Yet in Mariku's mind, in some way he felt it was her fault.
A thought he had had at several points in time spent together- could an adult man be friends with a child that was not his own and be close to her like this, without it being predatory? Teachers.. doctors.. things like that he supposed, but he was none of those things. it was not simply that though, it also came down to intent. Through certain levels of appropriate behavior and thoughts there was also intent.
What was his intent?
At first he did not know when things had started off. At first, he simply enjoyed her company in the soda fountain. Her bright smile and kind words. Her sweetness. Things he was not used to in his life from anyone. Even with his own sister she had always had a tone with him of superiority. Of roughness. Though it was from love and discipline Mariku only saw annoyance in his mind. She was not his mother and she had pushed him-... he did not want to think of that now.
All that mattered to Mariku now was that in his mind- he was justified with what he planned. His intent had changed, part of him wondering if her intent could be changed as well. Her wishes... the purpose of her tagging along with him no longer to spite her father but because she wanted to and she lo-!
The sound had not been particularly loud but the movement alone had shocked Mariku back from his thoughts. Watching the smaller form topple over the bed. He hadn't even noticed she'd been jumping on it. He stood immediately, his lips parting to ask her if she was alright but he was met with a surprisingly giddy laugh and a hand grabbing onto his leg to pull herself up. Her movements in a way reminding him of a monkey climbing a tree as she used him as a tool to get to her feet. Hopping up and prancing over to the radio to change the station, Mariku watched after her. Lips parted in slight awe at her light scampering, shaking his head slightly to focus.
"Hey-! I'm not a jungle gym you know?" He huffed, unable to help the twitch of his lips into a small smile. "You could have busted your head wide open..." His tone a bit sharper then he intended perhaps but he made no move to apologize. He was a bit angry, admittedly. Not only from her lack of paying attention but also.. how brief that touch had been? Why did she have to pull away so soon..
"I'm fine! I just slipped is all." She waved a hand, not seeming to notice his sharpness at all. Or more so used to being spoken to that way, but this person was not the same. This person only spoke that way to her because he cared- not because he wanted to hurt her. Mariku felt put off initially by her lack of reaction until she chose some other sickeningly sweet love song. One that caused a his jaw to clench. She was teasing him. He knew she was...
Wasn't she?-
His body seemed to relax immediately before he had time to fully register. He was frozen upon warmth enveloping him from his cheek. The soft, light peck to his skin he had not been expecting from petal soft lips brought him back from festering emotions. Blinking as if it would help him register what had just occurred was not in fact some sort of divine hallucination.
For her to touch him was in itself, euphoria. A feeling unlike anything he'd had before really.. lost completely to that temporary bliss as she went back to swaying almost woefully around the room to the dreamy lyrics over the radio. Slowly, he began to come back from that wonderful high note- to his displeasure- watching her as he sat back down in his chair. Content to watch the proverbial nymph rain dance of his muse. She seemed so happy then... free and in her element and perfect. Surely she had no idea that the man she trusted her safety to now was watching her like a cat, sadistically allowing a mouse to skitter in circles. Feline Jaws ready to ensnare and silence it all on a whim.
.~.~.~.
Such a cruel and tempting joke.
Whatever higher power above was mocking him now. Laughing at his inner plight as he sat at the end of the bed, staying very still as to not awaken his sleeping fawn. Moonlight shown in through the slits of thin blinds, along with the artificial neon glow that fluttered on an off from the motel sign. Serenity was sound asleep, long brunette tresses like a halo around her head as she breathed in and out softly. He should not have wanted the things he did.. he should not have been contemplating such evil, vicious things. He was a brute and a sinner and a liar. He deserved to burn in the hottest pit of hell for the rest of eternity after the things he had planned, but it didn't matter now. All that mattered was the glorious heaven he'd indulge in before facing his undeniable punishment.
How could he deny it though? As this helpless girl lay on her side, legs sprawled out and her arms pressed to her small chest tightly in gentle slumber. It would be so easy to caress her like this without her even knowing he felt- just once... Her pale legs exposed fully with the white sheet pulled up to pool around her hips, a twisted apple of temptation presented before him.
Tell tail echoes of thunder in the distance as the only sound breaking through tentative silence, aside from the radio still crooning away with some bleeding heart melody. The lyrics seemed to be in french however and in a way, it soothed him to hear something other then American. The music like a gentle reminder that he felt he did not belong here, even after years of it all some part of him still longed to return to Egypt. With his precious pet of course! They could run away together, out of sight forever from accusing eyes and curious glances and leaving her family only to wonder where that short breath of a life had gone. Even if he had only been a child himself back then, those memories of the dry heat were far more welcome then these annoying humid nights.
He sat like that for a while, growing temptation as the thunder rolled in and she slept through the sounds of nature and of the sorrowful french tune.
A blissfully unaware creature, unaware of the thunder and of his large warm paw gently resting at her ankle that waited for any sign of her stirring. When she did not move, Mariku's hand shifted up higher. His palm smoothing over soft flesh and up to her knee, caressing it with his thumb a moment as his breath caught in his throat. God! He was touching her and it wasn't just her hand or a pat on the head or that wonderful yet entirely to short lived hug they shared when she came to him...
He could smell her, that lovely warm scent that was always so out of reach as he leaned over her a bit. He lay on his side behind her, gazing at her legs as he would occasionally glance at her face to make sure she hadn't woken up. Mariku's heart thudded harshly against his chest, swelling with joy and paranoia as he stole hesitant touches along her thighs with his fingertips. Groping her lightly in random spots he felt needed his attention. He'd been with a woman before, several times in fact.. he was not new to intimacy by any means but they had all been partners his age or older. Eager females that welcomed his aggressive touches and squealed as he'd fondle them lecherously. He enjoyed it and always had, he'd even played with a few boys when he was younger that wanted to experiment with him. He'd always been a sexual person and even as he lay admiring this little beauty he did not look back on any of those encounters with disgust. This was different... he'd never yearned for someone so young in his life this way or ever- sexual games had meant nothing on a deeper level. Mariku never loved anyone.. He was beginning to wonder if love was something he was even capable of until he grew to know this girl. Or so... in his mind, he thought this could be love. Love as he would know it anyway in possessive touches and obsessive thoughts.
He thought, what one more suited to love him back then a young girl? This young girl. Not unlike in his mind a fairy tale she may have no doubt read as a child. One about a fairy princess or a young maiden who's kiss could heal the beast and sooth his brooding heart.
Except, this was not a fairy tale. Serenity was not a fairy and Mariku was not a beast or a misunderstood villain. This was very real and Mariku was loosing himself fast in his delusions. Selfishness consuming the more he admired his bed mates innocence. Reality becoming more and more fleeting from his grip.
Mariku drew his hand away briefly, only to reach down and unbuckle his pants slowly. watching her face closely with every movement he made, pulling down the zipper and taking himself out. Cool air hitting his heated flesh as he gave off a shiver. It would be so easy to grab her and force himself inside- but no... he had to wait. He could wait for his darling just a bit longer and simply admire her for now. With a sharp inhale his hand began to move as he hovered close to her neck, taking in the soft curves of her body. Her small button nose, long lashes and thin lips. How her shoulders hunched a bit in her almost fetal like position. Her fragile and pronounced collar bones. Mariku had thought she was cute before, though he had mostly been focused on her calming voice and presence. Now however, he was beginning to notice just how lovely she really was physically and it did not help his growing predicament as he struggled to keep his breathing even and not awaken her.
What was he doing!?
A voice in the back of his mind seemed to prod at him a moment. A sliver of doubt arising as he paused only to shake his head- returning to his devious fondling of himself. He was doing as he wanted.. sure she was young- but that didn't mean she wasn't mature. She was very mature... intelligent. She'd understand in time, he knew she would! Through his reasoning and internal questioning he had managed to slip up and groan softly. An action that made him freeze up all together and keep his eyes locked on her face. When her eyes did not open immediately he was about to go back to what he was doing, but her eyes did flutter open a second. The longest second he thought he'd ever felt as she shifted a little. Her face nuzzling into the pillow as she let out a soft hum and her body shifting a bit onto her stomach. Mariku didn't move or breath once, staring her down until her movements stopped all together and watching her chest start to slowly rise and fall again.
Mariku's heart practically leaped from his chest in that small instance. He had been so sure he was about to be caught and have to hold her down or make up some excuse- like he would do such things in his sleep... as ludicrous as that was he would have told her anything as to not make her scream and pull away.
Luckily for him, Serenity fell fast into her slumber again and this time with a lovely view of her backside just beneath the thin fabric of her skirt. How he wanted to grab her, feel her squirm beneath him- vicious thoughts flooding him as he stroked a bit faster. Thoughts of how her most intimate parts must have looked and how eventually he wanted to see them. How serene he would feel as she lay bare for him, even better still begging him to give her that much needed affection. He could make some crude guess in his mind as he focused on her thighs peeking out at the end of her skirt. His imagination driving him mad as he tilted his head back, for once since he had started he took his eyes off her to close them. Visualizing that sweet bliss and loosing his self control in blinding ecstasy. The much needed release distracting him a moment from the world around him and in his mind, he was inside her. They were whole and nothing else mattered and she quivered. A perfect image of white light falling over her shoulders as she sat in his lap, her hair bouncing and the pleasured look on her face as she felt that wonderful climax for the first time- the one he had given to her. The one she would only ever get from him. No one else would ever make her feel this way...-
Then, it all melted away. That feeling and her feeling and that image he still clung to even as it faded. He was laying on his back in a pitiful motel, his shame in his hand and spattered over his clothing. The settling reality that Serenity lay next to him in deep slumber. Content and unharmed. It was almost dejecting... how he came down from such a fantasy to this. He was happy to have her with him but he wanted more, and oh, he would have more.. but not fast enough to his liking.
Mariku peeled himself of the bed, locking himself inside the bathroom to clean up despicable mess he had made. He felt no regret really, only frustration and longing. They still had a bit of a drive ahead of them in the morning, His body vibrating impatiently with an aching need that preforming such an act normally sated. This was not the relief and afterglow he was so used to, just another log thrown carelessly and harshly over the growing fire burning in his loins.
