Italics items are memories of Ahsoka.

Chapter 2

They ate in relative silence. Ahsoka knew he was thinking. Thinking about what he would do should someone approach them. His eyes were on his plate, but she could feel the turmoil in his soul. Although he hadn't been a soldier in an official capacity for many years, Rex's mind still worked the same way. Thinking out scenarios and the best way to handle them. There was no escaping who he was and what he was meant to be.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ahsoka asked her hand moving to cover his on the table. Before the affection would've been strange, but in this circumstance, it was what it was and what was keeping them both alive.

Rex had never spoken of his needs as a man when she was younger and they were in hiding. When they had been on the planet hiding for three years, it finally dawned on her that he was a man and not just her protector. Things had changed between them in that time. She had grown and was showing signs of her female maturity and he was noticing. Although he had tried miserably to hide it.

The time had come when they only had each other. They were alone in the small dwelling, passing each other in the halls, in the kitchen and in the small outside garden they had planted to help them survive. In those moments, they had found themselves as something more than companions.

Ahsoka smiled inwardly as she recalled the first time he had kissed her. Although he claimed that he was sorry, she knew that it had been his intention for many weeks, but he had never had enough nerve to do it. They were outside in the garden and she had cut her hand. Rex cradled it softly in his strong, well calloused hands, and told her that she would be alright. She remembered the smell of him so close and then their lips met in one heated moment of unbridled passion for each other.

Quickly Rex pulled away from her whispering his excuses and apologies before he removed himself quickly from the garden, leaving her there with flushed cheeks and confusion in her soul. She didn't know what she had done so wrong that would cause him to walk away from her.

Later that evening, Rex explained that he didn't want to take advantage of her. She was just 17 and he was, well as he put it "so much older." He also explained that she was his superior and it wasn't appropriate. She didn't care because the war was long over and they were no longer fighting. What 17 year old woman wouldn't want a strong man like him to take care of her? No, she told herself, it wasn't right if he felt that way, then she needed to respect his wishes.

They spent several days trying to avoid each other in a house that seemed smaller every time they passed each other. Rex hadn't been able to even look in her eyes, but she continued to acknowledge him as best her embarrassment would let her. It was rather difficult those few days avoiding the one person who had been her sole companion for so long.

"We have to talk about this," she finally said cornering him in small kitchen. The look on his face was that of animal which had been caught by a speeder's running lights.

"There is nothing to say," he said his voice tightening.

"Yes, there is."

Rex looked down at his hands trying to avoid even looking into her blue eyes. She cupped his chin with her small hands and made him look at her like a mother who is trying to explain to a child that they didn't do anything wrong.

"What happened is okay, Rex," she said gently smiling at him trying to reassure him that he had not done anything that she hadn't thought about a million times while they had been stuck there together.

"No, it's not," Rex said shaking his head and breaking the contact she had with him. "You couldn't understand. You've never been trained the way I have."

Ahsoka sighed quietly and went about her business of the day. There was nothing she could do to convince him that they needed each other. She wouldn't waste her time telling him if he didn't want to listen. There were other things she could do to convince him.

As the days of avoiding each other stretched into weeks, Ahsoka gave up all hope of anything ever coming from the one touch they had shared in the garden. Her heart was broken because she thought of him so differently then he did her. Rex would never be able to look past the fact that she was a jedi, although she had forgotten about holding to any tenants of the order long ago when her hope for finding others had been shattered.

Ahsoka smiled at Rex who had taken her hand and grasped it affectionately in his. Love in the middle of the war was something both had never thought of, but it had happened just the same. She was glad that in time Rex figured out that she wasn't the general he thought she was and had gotten over his fear of being with her

The night had been still and the wind had died down early in the evening. Ahsoka had stripped down to her underclothes and wrapped her jedi cloak around her. It was the last remaining garment she kept from her old life. Ahsoka embraced the local culture, changing her dress to what the people of the planet wore. The cloak was the one thing she allowed herself to hold onto for solace.

Wrapping it around herself more tightly, Ahsoka stepped out into the small patch of garden in their backyard. The ground felt warm under her bare feet, keeping the heat from the sunny day. Standing completely still, she reached out and felt her surroundings. She knew that it was dangerous to even consider using the force, but they were so far away from anyone, she thought this one time would be fine.

The former jedi felt all the plants in the garden, the ivy climbing up the walls of the stone fence, the house, the animals and behind her in the house, Rex. He was stirring in his sleep. His body tossing and turning in what she could only believe to be a nightmare of his former life. Gently, she reached out and tried to calm his mind, making sleep easier for him. As long as she had known him, Rex had never been able to sleep very well and often didn't sleep at all. She wondered how he could keep going that way for the rest of his life.

Finally she calmed him enough to let her mind wander back to the outdoors. The stars shone brightly against the pitch black night. Ahsoka tried to remember the position of some of the ones she had been to when she was a padawan. It seemed so very long ago. The names of those systems seemed to be dimming in her mind. She hated that she couldn't remember all the things she had seen in great detail like she did when she was younger. Time was distancing her from the life she had before coming to this planet.

"Christophosis is over there," his voice said cooly from behind her. She hadn't even noticed he was approaching, some jedi she had become if she couldn't even feel when Rex was near. She was going to have to work on her skills more.

"Where?" she asked peering toward where his finger pointed up into the darkness. Then he was behind her, his body pressing against hers as he pointed her head towards where the star was located in the sky. Her eyes following the path of his finger as it pointed towards the glowing orb in the night sky.

"It's the blue green one there," Rex whispered in her ear, his breath hot against her exposed flesh. She felt goosebumps rise on her skin, but concentrated on speaking to him and not thinking about his proximity to her.

"How do you know?"

"After we were there and I'd lost so many men, I always made a point to find it in the night sky on whatever planet we landed. I always tried to remember the names of the men who had been left behind. It was just something I wanted to do for them because I wanted them to be remembered by someone."

"Oh, Rex," Ahsoka said sighing. "You still feel the pain, don't you?"

"Always."

She turned to face him, her hands resting against his shoulders. She was acutely aware that the jedi cloak was the only thing keeping him from seeing her in her underclothes. Ahsoka tried to speak, but there were no words for a friend who suffered under the weight of what the jedi had done to them. Suddenly she felt very responsible for the clone standing in front of her.

"Don't hurt anymore," she whispered, her eyes probing his face which was so hard to read, even after all this time.

"I can't stop hurting," Rex finally said, his eyes meeting hers. "It's all I have left."

He was right. It was all they both had left. The hurt of being two people who remembered how bad the war was and what it had done to so many people. How it had turned a good jedi into the one person who hated all jedi. How it had killed so many of Rex's brothers and how it had torn the galaxy into shreds, only to be reborn as something evil. She shivered at the thought. His arms wrapped around her to protect her. Rex pulled her closer and Ahsoka rested her cheek against his shoulder. The tears were something she hadn't expected, but they ran down her cheeks in small rivers, marking her orange skin darker.

"Don't cry Ahsoka," Rex said his voice quivering. "You shouldn't feel that any of this is your fault. We both shouldn't feel like this is our fault. Things would've turned out this way whether we were there or not."

"How do you know?"

"I know."

Then his lips were feathery light against her forehead. The feeling bringing a desire to her heart that she was hiding for all the time since the first encounter in the garden. There was a reason they were together. The force had chosen them to be together. Whatever that reason was, she wanted to honor the fact that they were to be joined in the physical and spiritual worlds. It didn't matter that Rex thought he was "older." What mattered was that they were meant to be here and Ahsoka was ready to do something about it.

Raising her head, she caught his lips with hers. Rex didn't pull away as her arms snaked around his neck. Her fingers traced the back of his neck as she continued kissing him. His lips were the tonic she needed to relieve the pain she felt. He needed her to figure out how to soothe his soul. She closed her eyes and enjoyed what was her first actual encounter with a male.

Pulling away from her, Rex's breathing was shallow as though he had been exerting himself physically although he was in peak physical shape.

"Please," she said placing a finger to his lips before he could speak and change what was happening. "Don't tell me this isn't right. I know what it is and you do to Let's not over think what we have."

Rex nodded. He lifted her gently, pressing her body against his, his lips catching hers in a passion filled kiss which spoke of many lonely nights. They explored each other's lips and necks as he held her. Ahsoka knew now that she held what he had wanted since she had come of age.

"Show me," she whispered against his cheek.

They had been lovers ever since and had even committed themselves to each other. It had been a small ceremony that they had only witnessed, but it meant so much to both of them. It wasn't everyday that you ended up with the right person.

"I think I'll go and check to make sure everything is locked down for the night," Rex said bringing her from her memories. "You want to come?"

"I'll just clean up here," Ahsoka said indicating the table. Rex's arms were around her before she could finish the sentence and he was lifting her up and kissing her.

"I won't be long."

"I'll be waiting."