chapter 2

I suppose that pain is only relative to the suffering that an individual has had. Suffering. I had had so much of that in the last four years, but still I feel that this pain is the worst I have ever experienced. I was lying again on the bed that Edward owned, screaming to the skies, praying in my head that someone would hear me and stop it. I knew really though, deep down, that they already could. They were orbiting the bed, guarding me from danger. I remembered a strange memory of asking them to let me change, even if I was screaming. I forced myself to think properly. Was I really going to become a vampire? That suddenly occurred to me- what if it did work? I banished all thoughts from my mind and concentrated on relaxing.

My eyes fluttered open. I felt an icy hand stroke my cheek, and squinted up into the darkness, but my eyesight was obstructed by a tall figure bending over me, his expression so distressed that I was sure if Edward could cry, he would be doing so now.

"Oh darling, my darling Bella, I'm so sorry." He sobbed tearlessly. I put my hands on his cheeks and made him look at me. "It's fine; it's not your fault." I said blankly, though on the inside I was weeping too. What could be done to change me? Was I human forever? I caught sight of Alice sitting in the corner, her head in her hands.

"I was so sure Bella! I saw it all, every last second. You have to know that - I don't know what went wrong, but you are immune. "She cried and I tried to lift myself off the bed so I could comfort her, but Edward pushed me back down again. "You will be exhausted, just rest love" he whispered and kissed my lips gently. I felt myself drift back into unconsciousness as Edward hummed my lullaby with his archangel's voice. As I drifted, I tried to speak, but I was never sure Edward could hear me. "Don't blame yourself" I said, before fatigue took me into its wrath.