A/N: Holy Moly! Another long one folks. You've been warned.

Disclaimer : I'm making no money off this. Chrissy and Jake are the only things mine in here.

As usual, please enjoy. Remember to R&R!

Chapter 2: Help

When's the last time he felt relaxed? Bucky can't seem to remember, even with his present memories. Isn't that a bit, odd? Not one time in the past year since he's been on the move has he been able to take a deep inhale and just stop and not think.

It's getting darker outside a bit faster these days, Autumn is slowly creeping in. Sitting on a log by a small fire, petting Jake on the head, Bucky stares out at the lake. Finally, he feels content enough to let his muscles relax. He can hear the screen door open, and Chrissy's soft foot falls as she makes her way across the deck.

"Hey." He acknowledges her over his shoulder.

"I got beer." The lively woman grins while holding up a small case of Sleeman's. "It's been a long week. I say, we chill."

With no reason to disagree, Bucky smirks and continues to give attention to his canine friend. Chrissy deposits the box behind the large piece of timber and takes a seat. Her long knitted sweater bunches up around her as she tries to get comfortable. Really her attire is just, well, all over the place. Long sweater, boots, but the woman has a tank top and shorts on.

"You're not cold?" He accepts the cool beverage she offers him.

"That's what the sweater and fire are for right?" Chrissy crosses her legs and admires the lake. This time of night, on the farm has always been her favorite. The loons calling out to one an another, the frogs making their nocturnal noises and the water gently lapping at the shore.

Chrissy's eyes turn to Bucky, she's not gawking, only thinking, profoundly. This man who's been so high strung since he arrived, finally feels at ease. He feels at home.

Bucky starts fidgeting, uncomfortable with being stared at. "What?" He asks jokingly.

For the first time since he's been here she notices a genuine full smile. "Nothing. I'm just glad to see you finally decompress." The fire cracks and a few sparks are sent towards the night sky. It's the first time that he seems so normal, so human. Even with his jacket's sleeves rolled up, his prosthetic in plain view, Bucky just seems like your average Joe. There's life in his eyes, this is the guy Steve's trying to save.

With everything he's been through and done, in the end he made the right choice. Bucky walked away from a bad situation. From the beginning, all this Soldier ever wanted to do was protect people, serve his country. From the beginning the odds were stacked against him. Isn't it about time he stands on the receiving end of that same amount of dedication. Help, it's all anyone ever really wants in return, but most don't know how to ask for it, if they even feel like they deserve it.

Bucky takes a drink of his Sleeman and clears his throat. He wants the conversation to head in a different direction. "I was wondering if I could use the saw mill and planer the next few days."

Chrissy smiles warmly in his direction. "Tired of cutting wood now you want to cut down trees?"

"I ran out of wood to cut." Bucky readjusts his ball cap and tries not to laugh.

"Yup, good here till winter 2020." Chrissy smirks while drinking her beer. "I don't care if you want to use any of the equipment. It's basically available to keep people entertained when they're staying here so they don't go stir crazy."

"Alright." Bucky places his empty beer bottle in the case and pulls out a new one, offering one to Chrissy as he does.

"No thanks." Wrapping her sweater around herself a bit tighter, Chrissy spots Jake chewing away on an old piece of tire. "Where the hell did he get that?"

Bucky looks down at the retriever beside him. "Beats me."

"Anyways...What are you planing to work on?" Chrissy has no clue or patience for wood work. She knows how to cut a tree down, how to bring it back here and how to cut it up into fire-wood. That's it. The only thing she knows about wood work, is that she likes the smell and has always admired anyone who could build anything out of lumber. Pure talent.

"Well there's a few things that need to be fixed. A few spots in the barn, a few loose floor boards on the deck and the stairs on the front porch." Bucky chews at his lower lip. "You know, if that's alright with you."

Chrissy tries to suppress a laugh and tilts her bottle in his direction. "Hey, if you're up to it. You're more then welcome to. Anytime something needs fixing around here I usually just call my neighbor, Frank. He's an older man, lives far enough down the road, but is always looking for some extra cash. So now you're just saving me money. Just don't tell Frank." Chrissy winks and finishes her beer.

"I won't." Bucky snickers. "But you owe me pie of some sort."

"Pie?" Chrissy chuckles. "Sergeant Barnes would like pie as payment?" She finds this utterly ridiculous and completely hilarious at the same time. The Big Bad Winter Soldier is such a fan of her baking that he requires it as reimbursement.

Bucky lifts a brow in her direction. "What? I didn't exactly stop for baked goods all that much."

"Making up for lost time then?" Chrissy places her empty beverage in the box and grabs another.

The two settle for comfortable silence and enjoy the fire. Every once and a while Bucky tosses another small log into the flames. This is nice, Chrissy admits to herself. Ever since Connor's passing, she wasn't sure how she'd feel about someone roaming her home or property for long periods of time. Being alone all the time, Chrissy had adjusted to the quiet and not having to worry about another person all the time.

Sure the Avengers came and went, but they never stayed for more then a few weeks at a time. Chrissy had gotten use to it being just her and Jake. Now, with Bucky around, Chrissy wonders what it will be like when he no longer wishes to be at Fox Tail. Oddly enough, she finds the thought a bit depressing, so she decides to block that trail of thought.

"I was thinking..." Bucky seems to find the small bubbles in his beverage interesting, because he's glaring at them intently. "Of talking to Steve, see if there's anything I can do to help them out. You know, maybe there's information locked up in my head or something...I don't know. Does that sound nuts?"

Chrissy shakes her head. "Not at all. What did you have in mind?"

"Nothing...major." Sitting up a little straighter, Bucky stretches his sore back. "Maybe just look at anything they have on file, of names, places, stuff like that. See if anything sounds familiar or if anything happens to come back to me."

"You don't want to join the team?" In the end, Chrissy knows it's what the Government and the Avengers are really after. No one came right out and said it, but she knows how they work well enough.

"No...well, not right now. I wouldn't...I don't belong there." Bucky sighs and puts his empty bottle into the beer case. "It's not that I don't want to help. I can't trust my own mind enough to guarantee anyone's safety, specially on a mission or in a team setting." And there's some stuff he would rather the Government never finds out, like the damn words.

"I can understand that." Chrissy watches as he begins chewing at his lip again. "Bucky," She reaches out and places a hand over his. "There will always be a place for you here. If you don't want to leave, you don't have to. If you want to join the Avengers, you're more the welcomed to. Know that I'll never force you to leave or to stay. Neither will Steve."

He squeezes her hand in return, her gesture appreciated. But it's not like he'll be able to stay there forever, is it? "Well I'm sure they may try at some point." Jake tosses the piece of old tire and jumps up after it like a young pup. Bucky grins at the hyper dog. "I'm not looking to redeem myself, don't think there's enough life times for that. I know whatever I do now... can never make up for all the shitty things I've done, even if I can't remember them."

Chrissy's not sure what he's getting at, but she suddenly has the urge to make a ton of pies, in many assorted flavors. Maybe that will make him feel better. She lets him continue to clasp her small hand.

"I just want to do something with the time that I do have. Anything, to help." Bucky licks his dry lips. "But I refuse to put any more people in danger. If that means I stay on the side lines to help for now, then so be it. Until all this garbage in my head is sorted out...I'm not putting anyone else at risk. It's for the best."

It almost sounds like Bucky's trying to convince himself that what he's saying is the right choice of action.

A thought occurs to the woman next to him. "Oh, I have an idea. Steve and Tony told me to give it to you when I thought you were ready. I'll be right back." Quickly, Chrissy makes her way up the stairs and into her home.

"Are you sure you're alright wondering around in the dark?" He calls out after her, even though he knows she won't answer. A light goes on in her office. Bucky exhales and pats his thigh, Jake comes sauntering over with his piece of tire. "Seriously, where did you get this?" He pulls it from the dogs yap, it's old, dry and worn. Bucky tosses it towards the lake and Jake bolts after it once more.

Bucky can hear Chrissy making her way towards him again. Taking a seat beside the man, Chrissy passes him a Fedex box and another beer. "S.H.I.E.L.D had Tony design these for the team a few years back. Anyways, because you're already all setup with Charlotte..."

Bucky grunts at the mention of that A.I. Opening the small box, he finds a tablet. He lifts a confused brow in her direction.

"Right, I know, big bad machines, you're not a fan. Anyways, you access it with your thumb print. It's linked to the main data base. So you can access anything the team can."

Bucky presses his thumb against the screen and then it lights up. He takes the offered drink from Chrissy and stares at the screen. "Ok, now what?"

"Look." The woman points to a series of folders. "These here, with your name on them, it's all stuff they want you to look at. You can keep notes and write down anything you can remember here." Chrissy points to the side screen. "It's like having a pen and paper, only as soon as you write something it gets logged and they can review it right away. This could be a way for you to help."

Alright, that's a bit impressive and a bit eerie at the same time. However, he'll probably just use a good old fashion pen and paper. Bucky's no cave man, he knows all about the current gadgets and innovations, but this is a bit invasive, or he's just paranoid.

"Think I'll keep notes on paper for now. If it's something relevant, then I'll send it their way." He turns off the screen and places it on the box behind the log.

"Whatever works. I have stacks of paper note pads in my office, you could just use those if you'd like." Chrissy brings her attention back to the fire, now just hot embers.

"Want me to put more wood on the fire?" He's just about to get up and do just that, Chrissy shakes her head.

"Nah. That's alright. I'm beat." She offers him a warm smile, which he returns as he sits back down. "This was nice though. We should do this more often. Kind of nice to finish the week this way."

Bucky nods agreeing. "Specially seeing we have lots of wood to burn." They both laugh at this.


That evening, Bucky can't sleep, tossing continuously in bed. Every once and a while he spots the damn tablet on the desk. Deciding he's done trying to sleep, Bucky picks up the little electronic and quietly heads down stairs. Stretching out on the sofa, he begins reading through the first file.

More then a few times, his code name is mentioned. Some of these things, he was already aware of, some he had just recently remembered, some he couldn't recall at all. Others, he wanted to forget. Attentively, his eyes continue to scan over every word.

A Ghost.

No traces of breaking and entering.

They call him The Winter Soldier.

As he continues to read, Bucky notices that there's a small box at the top left corner. There's a list of everyone who's logged on and a list of the last times certain people were active.

Bucky notices Steve Rogers - Cpt. America, in bold black lettering. For some reason, his heart rate speeds up. Instantly, he turns the screen off and places the tablet on his chest. "Get a grip." It's not like the man can actually see him, probably just sees that he's awake as well at this ungodly time.

Frustrated with himself, Bucky runs his hands up over his face and then through his hair. Then, as if the tiny contraption senses his internal struggle, it makes a noise. A small 'ting'. Bucky rolls his eyes, his gut telling him what he already knows.

"Just turn it off and put it away." He can't help himself. Letting out a long puff of breath, he hits the home button and sees a small message box in the lower right corner. He flexes his right fist a few times, and against his better judgement, he taps the icon.

"What are you doing up at this hour?" . Appears in a small blue box. Bucky knows it's Steve's way of just trying to start a conversation with him. For some reason this both aggravates and amuses him.

Chewing at his inner lip Bucky responds. "Could ask you the same thing. Reading those damn files."-Sgt. Barnes. A small yellow box with a 'swoop' noise. Why the hell is his palm so sweaty?

"Really? That's great Buck." Again another blue box appears. "Recognize anything in there?"

What the hell should he write? Bucky doesn't want to write anything down on this cursed thing, anyone could be watching. He knows, it's something he would have done, years ago.

"Some. Not lots." He hits send, and debates turning off the tablet right then and there, suddenly he feels exhausted. Then there's another 'ting'. He sighs.

"Alright. Guess you're not comfortable sharing on here. That's fine." There's a pause before the next bubble pops up. "Maybe once you go over the files a bit more we could get the team up there. Go over some of the stuff you remember."

"Fine." Is all he could think to write. Bucky turns the tablet off and rests his forearm over his eyes. Within minutes he's asleep.


Tony Stark, takes a seat across from Steve. The large stainless steel table is covered in documents, pictures and maps. "Here." Tony hands the other man a glass of his famous Kale smoothy. "So Barnes was actually reading through the files? And you believe him because..."

"Why would he lie Tony?" Steve places his glass on the table. "It was four in the morning. I'm sure he couldn't sleep and just decided to check it out."

Tony shakes his head. "Sure. But you know there's a way we can see for sure what he was reading."

Steve sends Tony a stern glare. "I told you, no spying."

"And I haven't." Taking a drink of his green liquid, Tony starts sorting the papers on the table, trying to look occupied. "Maybe, I've talked with Charlotte, checked up on how Chrissy's doing, but other then that...I promise I haven't. It's just..." Relaxing a bit in the office chair, Tony tries to choose his next words carefully. "He's staying at Chrissy's place. Of all places."

"Tony, you and I both know that's the best place he could have ended up." Steve knows what his friend is trying to get at.

"Hey, I couldn't agree more." Tony shrugs his shoulders. "If your head's messed up, heading to the farm is the best thing for you. We've used it for just that many times before, right?"

"You're worried about her." The Captain can understand this, but deep down he just knows that Chrissy couldn't be safer. How's he suppose to try and get anyone to understand that?

"No." Tony rocks the back of his head from side to side against the top of his chair. "Ok. Yes." The man across from him exhales loudly. "Look I get it, he's your buddy. But you need to remember what he's been doing for the past 70 years, give or take a few. You need to remember what was done to him during all that time. Something like that..."

Tony can actually sympathize with the Winter Soldier better then anyone thinks he can. "You don't just get over it." Torture, being a prisoner, that he understands perfectly.

"He could have let me die, Tony. Let me drown." Steve rubs his hands together and rests his arms on the table. "But he didn't." The captain smirks. "There was something there. I saw it in his face. He remembered something."

"One good deed Cap. It's one good deed." Tony removes his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. Now, massaging his temples, Tony's trying to figure out a way to get this pile of muscle to recognize the dangers a man like Barnes could represent.

"I know. It doesn't make up for the things he was forced to do...but he didn't have a choice." Steve defends.

"Yeah, I get it, his brain was mush. Play-doh in a mad man's hands." Tony tries to relax. "I'm not saying I don't want to help the guy. I'm just saying we should go into this with our eyes open. The man was tortured for years. He killed people when they told him to, how they told him to."

The Iron Man is trying to reason with his close friend and ally. "We don't know how he's coping and we don't know what parts of him are James Barnes and what parts of him...aren't. Hell, both parts could be totally wiped clean. But the real question is, how are you going to deal with it, if that's the case?"

Tony waits for a reply. Steve remains deep in thought, actually taking his words into consideration. "If he doesn't remember anything, at all. Regardless, we help him, anyway we can. Whoever he was, it doesn't matter. He's alive, and he's my friend. I'm not going to let him down. But if he can't remember...then that's fine too."

"Because he's alive." Tony grins while rubbing his jaw. "You know Cap, sometimes I think you have more issues then I do."

"He's a victim Tony." Steve points out.

"I know, I know. But so were the people he killed." Tony shakes his head, hands up in surrender. "If he's got any moral conscious left at all, if he remembers anything, anyone...that might just be the thing that breaks him."


There's warm breath against his neck. The Soldier's first instinct is to react against this probable danger. Bucky's first reaction is to open one eye and inspect the situation before doing anything rash. Jake is standing beside the couch, tail wagging cheerfully, head resting on Bucky's chest.

"Hey boy. Where's Chrissy at." Bucky pats the top of the dogs head, knowing full well the only way this dog is down here is because Chrissy is no longer in her room. She has a habit of leaving her bedroom door open so that Jake can come and go as he pleases throughout the night. A habit Bucky still thinks is odd, who leaves their bedroom door open?

The front door opens and Chrissy walks in from outside. Humming softly as she sorts through the mail in her hands. She removes her shoes and walks right past the sofa, not even noticing Bucky watching her.

"Morning." He acknowledges her.

Almost jumping right out of her skin, Chrissy drops the papers. "Jesus Bucky! You scarred the crap out of me. I thought you were still asleep."

Grinning, Bucky gently pushes pass Jake and helps the frazzled woman pick up the scattered papers. "Why do you have so much mail? Didn't check it all week?"

Bucky hands her the rest of the items. "Nope. Kept forgetting to. Coffee?" Chrissy places the papers on the table and turns on the coffee maker.

"Yeah." Taking a seat at the dinner table, Bucky yawns and rubs a hand over his tired face.

"Late night?" She gestures with her chin towards the discarded tablet on the coffee table, while she pours their drinks.

"Huh?" He sees where her eyesight lands. "Oh, well sort of. Couldn't sleep."

Chrissy hands Bucky his coffee and starts making breakfast. "So you decided to do some light reading."

"Yeah, right." He snickers at this description, light reading my ass. More like mind numbing and painful to go over. A horror story.

"Something's different about you today." She glides her tongue over her teeth, trying to pin point why he's acting, odd. "You spoke with Steve, didn't you?" Chrissy points at him with the spatula.

Slumping his shoulders forward, Bucky nods. "Sort of. He wants to come up here, once I've gone over most of those files."

Chrissy whisks a few eggs together and adds butter to her pan. "And, are you ok with that?" The pan sizzles to life as she cooks their meal.

Bucky takes a drink of his coffee and then stares at his left arm. "It's bound to happen at some point. I'll try to finish going over everything by the end of the week, there's a lot..."

"Did you want me to help you with anything?" Chrissy passes him a plate of food and sits at the table.

"What? No." He clears his throat. "Sorry, that sounded way more impolite then I was intending."

"It's fine." She winks in his direction while taking a bite of scrambled eggs.

"It's just...I really don't need you to read or see any of that." Bucky exhales deeply. He'd like to have at least one person he sort of knows, be a little oblivious to those past details. Even if it's just for a little while. A thought occurs. "Why haven't you looked... at any of it? You have access to everything on there."

"My name's not on those files. I read what I was told I had to, in the folder they sent me and that was it." Chrissy shrugs, finding his question a bit bizarre.

"You never once even had a tiny bit of curiosity?" Bucky begins eating his breakfast.

"Didn't say that. If you wanted me to read anything in there, you'd ask me to. I respect your privacy." Chrissy hopes that he believes her, it's the truth after all.

"Thanks." Bucky's trained to tell when people are lying or acting out of character. Chrissy is most definitely telling the truth. "Maybe, someday...just not..."

"Bucky." Chrissy smiles warmly. "It's fine. Really. I'm not concerned about what's in any of those reports or paper work."

Nodding his thanks, Bucky finishes his meal. While Chrissy gives Jake food and water, Bucky rinses their plates, grabs the evil tablet and then heads upstairs. Not fully certain on how he has acquired the knowledge, but Bucky's positive he knows enough about wood working and mechanics to be an asset to this farm. Maybe he has some kind of implanted skill sets, whatever, he'll take those at the very least.


It always seems that when you're busy, or anxious, the days just fly by. That's the case for Bucky this week. He's repaired the deck, the barn and the stairs as promised. Even found time to be able to go through those files a bit further, and reread ones that seemed like they sparked something in his memories.

Small flickers really. Bloodied hands, frantic breathing, gun shots, tires squealing on pavement. That sort of thing.

Feeling frustrated and impatient with himself, and not having much left to do, Bucky decides building and constructing things is now his outlet. Is it ever. New stalls for the horses, shelves for Chrissy to display more photos, that she's always taking when she thinks he's not looking. The dock, had some loose boards, that just wasn't acceptable. They had to be replaced. That fire pit area needs something better then a giant log to sit on. A set of benches and some Muskoka chairs, he googled that one, coming right up.

Chrissy's carrying out a tray of lunch and a slice of pie. She can hear Bucky sanding down some wood, again. As she rounds the corner of the workshop, Chrissy can see a pile of boards lined up and waiting to be tended to. Her brown eyes widen when the realization of just how busy he's been hits her. Over compensating much.

The sander's turned off when Bucky notices Chrissy heading his way. "Muskoka chairs, apparently it's a Canadian thing." He grins.

"Uhh... that they are." Chrissy places the tray onto the workbench. "How many are you building?" She asks playfully.

"Four." Bucky shakes the saw dust from his hair. "Thanks for lunch." He spots the baked good and almost laughs. "You've been busy as well?"

"Figured I should hold up my end of the bargain." Chrissy spots a wooden bench behind him. "You finished that today?" Taking a seat on the new piece of outdoor furniture, Chrissy runs a hand along its etched edges.

"Yup. Gave it a few coats of lacquer and now it's good to go. Like it?" Bucky's appreciating creating things with his hands, far more then destroying. It's nice to see his work admired under different circumstances for once. Here, he's not just a tool or weapon, he's a person.

"Bucky, it's gorgeous. Can't believe you're going to be putting it outside." That has him smiling, mouth full of apple pie.

Judging by her body language, she has something to discuss with him. "What is it? You got something on your mind." Bucky dusts off his hands and crosses his arms.

"What, I can't just socialize with you?" She jests. He lifts a brow in her direction. "How do you know these things?" She's actually curious as to how he does that.

"Just do. Besides, you brought me pie." He knows she's trying to smooth over the idea of, something. Chrissy's nice and all, but you just know when she's buttering you up.

"Yeah. Saw through that did yah?" Chrissy bites her lip and tries not to smile. "Steve said they'll be here by Monday morning."

"Ok." Bucky starts placing the pieces he needs for the first chair.

"Ok? Really? Jeez I was all jittery for nothing." Exhaling a long breath, Chrissy stands and makes her way next to him. This man is smirking, actually smirking while he puts the chair together. "You're not funny."

"Are you going to keep pestering me, or do I have to sick Jake on you? It's not nice to bother a man when he's working, you know." He still has that smug grin.

Chrissy bends low so that she can be near his ear. "Not nice to mess with the person who makes your meals either." She pats him on the shoulder, laughs and heads to the barn. "Gonna take Caesar out for a bit."

"Still say that's a stupid name for a horse." Bucky huffs and continues his work.


Something's not right. It's almost two in the afternoon, and Bucky hasn't seen Chrissy return with that damn horse. God, he hates that animal. Out of all the horses in the barn, why did she always pick that one. It's massive, doesn't follow commands the best and spooks way too easily for his liking. Then again, Chrissy said she adopted it from some local animal shelter that took care of abused animals.

Something's way off, he can feel it in his bones.

Bucky notices that Jake's nowhere nearby either. Concerned, he takes a stroll out to the field. Hands on his hips, he listens carefully to everything around him. The wind blows through the grass and trees. There's no dog barks, no horse running around making any noise, nothing. He runs his tongue along the inside of his mouth. It's way too damn quiet. Alright, he's more then concerned. Bucky brings his index and thumb to his mouth and makes a high pitched whistle and waits.

Nothing.

"Fuck..." He's gonna kill that horse when he finds it.

Wait, what was that. Far off in the distance, he hears a familiar bark. Jake. Bucky whistles again, the dog barks. That sounds...north. He doesn't see the dog barreling through the grass and doesn't see that damn horse. Caesar, such a dumb name.

Then a sudden conclusion, Jake is never too far from...

Bucky runs back to the drive way, hops into the big Chevy, turns the ignition and floors the gas. The truck fish-tails for a second, sending gravel and rocks flying in the air. Bucky gets the truck to speed through the field with ease. Imagination now running wild with all the 'what ifs', as he tries to control his breathing. Why is he so panicked? Jesus why didn't he check on her sooner?

The barking is becoming louder and more frantic. Bucky swerves around a large bolder and is coming up on the fence line where the property ends. He can see Jake now, barking, pacing back and forth in the same spot. Heart beating furiously in his chest, Bucky puts the truck in park and rushes towards the canine.

"Hey...buddy. Where's Chrissy?" He pets the whining retriever as it runs up to greet him. Eyes search the area, looking for any sign of...Oh God.

"Chrissy..." She's on her back in the tall grass, a nasty cut on the side of her head. Quickly he runs towards her and slides down onto his knees. "Hey!" Can she hear him? Gently he places a hand behind her head and neck. Her skin is warm, thank God. He doesn't want to move her, but he can't leave her here. "Chrissy, come on. Open your eyes for me."

Chrissy groans softly. Bucky lets out a breath he'd been holding, relieved. She's not conscious, but she's not dead either. Gently, he places his metal limb under her knees, cradles her head in the opposite arm and carries her to the truck.

"Come." He tilts his head towards the back seats and Jake jumps in. Adjusting her body to lean up against his own, Bucky wraps an arm around her shoulders, puts the Chev in drive and heads towards the hospital.

After turning an hour drive into a twenty minute one. Bucky tells Jake to stay, cracks the windows open a bit, carefully picks up Chrissy and heads inside. He approaches the first medical staff he sees. "She needs a doctor..." He's trying to remain calm.

"Oh my." The nurse gestures for him to follow her. "Bring her in here. I'll go get Doctor Stevens right away. She knows him."

Bucky nods, places Chrissy on the small cot and then waits. There's blood on his hands, damn-it. Shiny metal catches his eye while he washes up in the nearby sink. For crying out loud, he just can't catch a break. With everything going on he had completely forgot. Bucky shoves his left hand into his pocket and rolls down his sleeve. He'd been so concerned for her well being, it was the only thing on his mind.

"Bucky? Oww." Chrissy hisses as her fingers graze the cut on her head. "What the hell..."

"You must of fallen from..." He can't even say that animal's name. "I found you in the field. Must of hit your head pretty good."

"We're at the hospital?" She tries to sit up, Bucky eases her back down.

"Where else would I bring you? Lay down. A doctor is coming to see you?" A worried smile appears on his face.

"It's probably nothing. We should just go home." The room is spinning and she feels warm.

Bucky shakes his head. "No. You're getting looked at. Canada, free healthcare, so use it."

Just as she's about to protest, the doctor walks into the room. "Alrigh Chris, let me take a look at you."


After getting a CT-scan, the doctor signs Chrissy's release papers. While the nurse is cleaning and dressing the wound on the side of Chrissy's head, Doctor Stevens signals Bucky to follow him into the hall. He's writing something on the clipboard when Bucky approaches.

"I'm going to give her a prescription for pain. She probably won't take it, but if she needs it, she'll have it." The doctor hands Bucky the paper. "Boyfriend, right?"

Bucky shakes his head. "What? I..." What should he say, that he's an ex-assassin in hiding.

"Well, whatever the case." Stevens adjusts his glasses. "You're...staying at the farm, correct?"

Bucky nods, unsure of how much this doctor actually knows. "Yeah."

"Look, I was very good friends with...Connor." The doctor smiles sadly at the mention of his dead friend. "I know what goes on at Fox Tail. I've had to help Chrissy with a few of her... guests on several occasions."

"Fair enough." Bucky shifts his weight to the opposite leg.

"So you don't have to worry about...anything." The doctor glances at Bucky's left arm. "If you ever need any kind of help, or if she does...don't ever hesitate to contact me. Here's my card." The doctor hands him a business card that has his personal and professional information on it. "Now, about her current injury. How'd it happen?"

"Not sure." Bucky sighs. "I was working near the house, she took the horse out, and was gone for a long time. I went looking for her and found her just lying there in the field."

"Well, seems that she was probably thrown from the horse and hit the ground hard. In any case, she only suffered a mild concussion. The CT-scan came back, everything looks fine. But she needs to take it easy for the next week. I've already spoken with her, but I want you to make sure she follows my advice. No horse back. I want her to get plenty of rest. If she feels nauseous or faint, has seizures or keeps forgetting things, anything out of the ordinary, make sure to call me right away."

"Alright. And, thanks." Bucky nods in the doctor's direction.

The doctor offers a polite smile, pockets his pen and heads down the hallway.


"Come on Bucky, Doctor Stevens said I had to take it easy... I'll make it up the stairs." Chrissy breathes out forcefully.

Bucky continues to follow her up the stairs, his hands ready to catch her, just in case. Stubborn, wobbly woman. "I told him I would look out for you." He grunts as she stumbles back into him and almost falls, again. "You need to rest, come on." Patience with her mood has run out. Bucky places an arm under her knees, picks her up and climbs the rest of the stairs. No choice but to cooperate, Chrissy sighs as she wraps her arms around his neck. "Stop being so thick headed."

"That's the only thing that kept my noggin from being mush remember?" She's hating this being fussed over business. Frankly, she doesn't have the energy to dispute it at the moment. "Did you happen to see Caesar..." Chrissy's well aware of Bucky's dislike for the horse, so she's a bit hesitant to even mention the animal.

"No." He says gently. "But I will go look for him in the morning. He couldn't have gotten far." Reaching Chrissy's room, Bucky pushes the door open with his shoulder and places her on her feet. "Did you need anything?"

"No." She rubs her aching arm as she makes her way to the bed. Taking a seat on the mattress, Chrissy notices that her ribs hurt too. That's going to be sore and tender tomorrow. She sighs, then notices Bucky still standing in her room, looking like he feels out of place. "I'm fine. You should get some rest."

Bucky doesn't say anything, only takes a seat in the chair across from her. Taking a moment to decompress, he sinks a bit lower into the chair and rests his elbows on his knees. "I'm sorry...for today."

Chrissy laughs lightly at his apology. "What are you talking about?"

"I should have gone to look for you sooner." Weary, he places his forehead in his hands. "I can't believe it took me that long to realize..."

"Jesus, Bucky. The only one at fault here is me. I keep testing my limits with...Caesar. It's not his fault and it's certainly not yours." She kneels down beside him, trying to figure out how to ease his anxious mind. Obviously, this is bothering him a lot more than he cares to admit. An objective, he needs something to focus on.

"Why don't you go take a shower. I'm going to get some rest. You can come and check on me as many times as you like, alright? Then in the morning you can go look for Caesar." She runs her fingers through his hair and places a delicate kiss on his cheek.

That seemed to do the trick. He puffs out a breath, watches her climb into bed and then heads to his own room. Chrissy just knows he'll probably check on her every hour, on the hour.

As Chrissy's about to shut her eyes, Jake jumps up onto the bed, places his head on the side of her hip, yawns and settles in beside her. "Good boy." She tells him just above a whisper. Her loyal companion stayed with her the entire time, waiting for help to arrive. "I owe you a treat." The shower in Bucky's room is turned on. Knowing that he's following her instructions, Chrissy quickly falls asleep.


There's nothing. No sign of anything that could have alarmed that horse. Bucky's an excellent tracker and he can't find what could have frightened that horse. Jumping over the fence, he studies the brush and earth looking for any sign of animal or human tracks, nothing. What, the hell. Deciding to find where that damn animal ended up, Bucky easily finds the signs he was looking for. He follows the distressed pattern the horse left behind, it leads to the more dense forest on the property.

Not liking the probable outcome of this, Bucky follows the trail. After fifteen minutes of pushing through the bush, he finds Caesar, dead. What on earth? The horse looks like it sprinted in such a state of panic that it ran right into an old fence pole and literally impaled itself. The wolves and other wildlife must have gotten to the carcass during the night, because there's not too much left. Great, how's he suppose to break this to Chrissy. It's not exactly the news he was looking forward to telling her at six in the morning. Although, he can't deny that he's not broken up about the horse's death. At least now he wouldn't have to restrain himself from killing it.

Bucky makes it back on time to hear Chrissy starting to move around upstairs in her bed. After removing his boots, he washes up and heads for her room. Knocking gently on the door, he waits for Chrissy to invite him in. "It's open. Morning."

Chrissy continues to lie in bed, Jake still at her hip. The dog wags his tail as Bucky takes a seat at the edge of the bed. "How you feeling?"

"Like I fell off a horse." Poor attempt at humor. Bucky averts his eyes, looking at the floor. "Oh, you found him, didn't you..."

Bucky nods. "Yeah, I did." He doesn't want to explain what he found, it's better he spare her the details, she seems to understand, because she doesn't push the topic further. "I brought the saddle and harness back and cleaned them up." Chrissy doesn't seem to want to look at him. Does she think that he...? He could have, but he wouldn't of. She loved that big dumb animal.

"Chrissy. I didn't...I found him like that." He doesn't expect her to believe him.

Using the back of her sleeve to wipe her eyes, Chrissy exhales a puff of air. "Oh God Bucky. I know. I'm just sad that he had to die all alone." That's what she's upset about? This crazed animal, that was dangerous, and almost got her killed, she was upset because it suffered and perished, alone.

Wait.

Bucky feels his eyes moisten, but quickly hides it by looking out the window. He's dangerous, mentally unstable at times and could most certainly get her killed. Most days, he feels like he's utterly alone. In a weird way, he's a version of Caesar. When Bucky first came here, he thought she was insane for welcoming him into her home. Chrissy did the same for that horse, she gave it a chance at a normal life.

"At least you gave him a good home." Bucky feels his shoulders drop. "It looked like, it was quick." How he hopes that's some sort of comfort. It's all anyone could ever really hope for, when their time was up, right?

The weight on the bed shifts, he still can't look in her direction. Chrissy's small hands wrap around his right arm and she leans her head on his shoulder. "Thanks for going to look for him anyways."