My fellow Americans, I am sorry I had sexual relations...oh....I mean I am sorry I took so long to update, bit it's well worth it BELIEVE ME! I've conceived chapter 3 and expect it to be born any day now *glowing*. I just realized that the years were off in the first chappy, but I have to choose between fixing that and doing chapter 3 soooo...yeah.... anyway, thank you to all of you who review, I really do read them and they always seem to give me just enough boost to get what I need done. :)
"Wendy, what's content?"
"Hm?" Wendy looked up from covering a sleeping Michael; all the other Lost Boys were asleep, save Peter- Wendy herself was exhausted, however she stayed up to have a chat with Peter, it really was the only free time she had.
Peter was in his hammock, his lips lazily blowing on his fife. Another beautiful day was coming to an end; Wendy straightened up a few more things before walking to her rocking chair, Peter waited for her to grab some socks that needed darning and her sewing kit, she turned to him, "I'm sorry Peter, what was your question again?" she said as she rocked gently backwards and forwards, "What's content?" he asked again.
"Content," she repeated, Peter loved it when she explained things, she was the smartest person he'd ever known, Wendy thought for a moment, breaking the word down in a way that Peter would understand, "Well…content…content is a feeling, like being happy," she started, Peter nodded his head, "Oh, I see, like I'm content when I'm in Neverland," he said, trying to put it in a sentence, Wendy laughed, "It's a little more complicated than that, Peter, yes content is a good thing, but you should strive to be happy, content is more like you've settled for something, like things could be better, but if this is it, than it's o.k." "Oh!" Peter said, understanding, he flew up into the air, "Then, I want to be happy!" he said and started flying around her, Wendy laughed, so carefree, so young.
Where had those days gone?
She stared at the clock, unscathed.
Peter was expecting her, Wendy's heart felt heavy with guilt. She imagined him standing there, staring at the clock first, then up the stairs towards the room waiting diligently before succumbing to the reality. The truth.
She had no intention of going to meet him. All of this just wasn't right; she was a grown and married woman, for heaven's sake, and a mother at that!
'If anything it may be who I was that he's in love with,' she contemplated, an image of her 12 year old self came to mind, the lean, kind of skinny girl with large blue eyes and golden hair that was pinned up in adorable curls, the naïve child who had eyes for him and him alone.
A slightly louder thunder crash melted the image of the young Wendy to reveal the older Wendy staring at reflection in the mirror. She frowned at herself, 'Am I so different from there?' that was a given, she got up from the bed and walked over to her reflection. Raising her hand, she touched the glass gingerly, tapping at it, but not too hard. Wendy wore a sheer blue gown her husband bought her, a very sheer gown. Everything was noticeable. She was after all an adult, though she had to admit, she looked bloody good for her age.
First and foremost she was taller, about a foot or so from when she was a girl, her once stick like limbs were sinewy and soft. Wendy thanked God two pregnancies decided to be kind to her figure, her waist was still thin, but baby fat in her breasts and hips gave her an overall effect a sort of voluptuous air.
Wendy opened her gown and stared at herself. She blushed at first, having not looked at herself since she started developing really. She grabbed her breasts and lifted them slightly before allowing them to bounce back to their original position. It felt so nice to have breasts that weren't engorged with milk, the brown tinge had finally disappeared as well, leaving the areolas even rosier than before. Yes, one could say that she was almost back to normal, with a few pluses, save one thing, Wendy ran her hands on her lower abdomen, gently touching the scar, Danny's scar, the poor thing, he wouldn't turn, the c-section had put such a strain on him, there were many times they thought he wouldn't make it, but more than that it was a brand, she was a mother, not the untouched virgin Peter knew so long ago, even if they did end up together, whenever he saw her naked, that mark would always show that she belonged to another once.
"Tempting,"
Wendy spun around.
Peter stood in the doorway, the various shadows covered his face, but she could tell he was staring at her intently. Wendy blushed, embarrassed that he saw her looking at herself, "Peter, it's inappropriate for a young man to be in a bedroom with a lady, especially at night," her voice was shaky and she hated it.
Peter just entered, closing the door behind him, "Well, you never went downstairs," he said, ignoring her reprimandation, "So I decided to come up," he slowly approached her; though only 17 he was a good 4 inches taller than she was, Edward was taller-
Edward. Remembering her husband made Wendy take a step back, but Peter gave her the same hurt look as before and she stopped.
"Do you really hate me that much?" he asked, "Does the thought of us being together disgust you so much?"
"That's not it, Peter," she started, rain started coming down rather heavily, Wendy thought to check on the children, but decided she'd put Peter off long enough, "I care for you so much, Peter, you were my first love, my world, but I'm grown up, a wife and a mother, we could never be more than what we are now, good friends," she was proud that she;d kept her voice so even this time, but still for some strange reason, she felt sad.
Peter just laughed, "That's supposed to be it? That I'm just going to give up? Or that I'm even going to believe all that rubbish?"
Wendy was shocked, "Peter, I-,"
"Answer me this, Wendy, are you happy?" he asked.
She gave him an indignant look, "I am more than content with my life-,"
"That's not what I asked," he interrupted her again, "Are you happy?"
"I most certainly-," Wendy simply stood there, staring at him, mouth agape. Peter stared at her, waiting for an answer.
'What are you doing, say "Yes"!' she screamed at herself. Why was she just standing there, why was haying "yes" so hard?
"You told me there was a difference between content and happy, that when you were content, you were o.k. with everything, that things could be better, but if not, it was o.k." his eyes were boring into hers.
A child. That's how she felt at that moment, like a stupid child incapable of saying anything, she felt as though everything she ever believed in was ripped away from her. Shaken, she did the only thing she could at that moment; she cried.
Peter was take aback by her tears, he opened his arms and embraced her, but she pushed him away, the world returned and she felt angry, "So what, Peter, hm? I leave my husband? My children? What about them? I leave? I certainly cannot stay here if I choose you! No one would accept us!" her body shook with fury, how could he ever understand her position, the consequences of their love, but more than that, she was angry at herself, angry at the yearning she felt in her heart, she wanted to be with him and at this point, she was already decided.
"I know what you're going through," Peter seemed unscathed by her outburst, but deep inside, he was terrified, if she rejected him…
"I know what it's like to sacrifice everything, I've been doing just that since I came back with Jane…and saw you. When you left all those years ago I was heart broken, Wendy, it hurt so bad, having to see you off and not being able to do anything about it, I put my heart away and went back to being…well, me," a cocky grin and sad eyebrows took Wendy back to the first time she met him, she laughed, but covered her mouth.
Wendy's laughter reassured Peter a little and he continued, "I'll admit, for a time, I thought I was falling in love with Jane," Wendy listened closely at this, as much as she loved him, she had made it up in her mind that if there was any chance for him and Jane, she'd relinquish her place in his heart.
Peter, however caught on to this, "She and I are not destined to be, so stop,"
"How do you know, boy?" she asked, using a name she hadn't in years, Peter blushed and glared at her, she just gave him a knowing look and motioned for him to continue.
"I've seen my future, the Indian chief saw a troubled soul in me and decided to show me my future, I never knew how much it would change me and I've decided to change it," he said, Wendy's smile disappeared, "I stay here, grow up, and marry Jane's daughter, your granddaughter, Moira, I change my name to Peter Banning, become a business man, we have two children Jack and Maggie, I forget everything, Neverland, the Lost Boys, Tink, even Hook! I grow old with Moira and die, that is my future," he said. Wendy furrowed her eyebrows, "Then why? That all sounds wonderful, why would you want to change that?"
"Because, through all of it, my marriage, job, even the birth of my own children, I am never anything more than content, not happy, I SETTLE!"
"Peter, that's a terrible thing to say, surely, surely in some way you must have been happy. How could you be so cruel?"
His response started with a dark smile, "Is your sin so different?" Wendy didn't answer him; instead she took the subject back a few steps, "So? You can still have Jane, you said yourself you loved her-," Peter put a finger to her lips to stop her, "I said I thought I loved her, but the things I loved most about her…were the things that reminded me of you. I loved her eyes because they were your eyes, I loved her mouth because it was your mouth, and I hated her nose because it wasn't your nose. I loved her courage, but hated her arrogance, loved her caring side, hated her lack of gentility. Do you understand?" he asked.
"No," her response was blunt and caught Peter off guard, "I'm not sure I ever will, I'm not a girl anymore Peter, bloody hell, I've got birth scars! Why would you settle for me when you could have Jane, Tiger lily, even those blasted mermaids," she looked away, hating the task of putting herself down, the thought of Peter being with any of those girls brought an unbearable pain in her chest, she averted Peter's gaze; he grabbed her chin and made her look at him, "Those girls aren't you, that's why," slowly, he kneeled down, reached up and opened Wendy's night gown, exposing her scar.
She blushed, "Peter, no!" she cried. He ignored her and gazed at it, running his fingers over it, it didn't freak him out, he looked at it as a right of passage, devotion to her children, and it made him love her even more. He leaned forwards and kissed it. Tears rolled down Wendy's face, her heart wanted to burst with the joy she felt at that moment, she ran her fingers through his hair, remembering fully why she loved him so much.
Peter rose and without breaking his gaze, leaned in and kissed her neck. Wendy sighed, relishing in the pleasure, her body electrified by each kiss, still she tried to fight it, "Peter, don't," she whispered, Peter continued up to her ear lobe, "Tell me, then, tell me you don't want this," he murmured, his breath was hot, his voice heavy with juvenile lust. It didn't take long for Wendy to get that oh-so-familiar aching between her legs, she didn't want him to stop; her body blazing for his touch, thoughts she hadn't entertained since her schoolgirl years danced about in her head, she felt dirty for having these thoughts, but didn't even try to stop them.
"I'm waiting," Peter's voice brought her back around, she looked at him through lust drunken eyes, "We…can't…" she barely managed to say, Peter shook his head, "That's not the answer, I'm asking you to tell me you don't want this," one arm wrapped around her while the other ran its fingers down her abdomen, grazing the scar once more before settling the middle and ring finger between the folds of her most sacred place. Wendy gasped and gripped on to his shirt, it had to have been months since she was last touched there, she could feel the reaction of his touch dripping down her legs, he grinned maliciously, "You're so wet," he grumbled before massaging her. Wendy suppressed a moan as he fell into a soft stroking rhythm, all the while kissing her neck, "Peter…p-peter…stop…." Her barely audible whisper had no trace of conviction, so he didn't listen, back and forth, up and down. Peter bent down a little, leaving the task of stroking her clitoris to his thumb while his freed fingers found their way to her opening, Wendy's eyes rolled back in her head her body succumbed to the pleasure, she clawed into his shirt, threw her head back and screamed into the crash of thunder, "I want you, Peter!"
That was enough, Peter's mouth came crashing down on hers, she whimpered at the force, but opened herself to him. Peter's tongue didn't hesitate; it explored every part of her mouth reverently, desperately making sure to leave no part unattended. Wendy smiled on the inside and waited for her turn, when Peter withdrew she wasted no time violating hiss mouth, licking the corners and sucking on the tongue. Peter froze at this and Wendy knew for sure that he was a virgin (she had assumed he and Jane might have experimented when she wasn't around) Oh, she had much to teach him, it made her wet to think about all the things she'd soon show him-
POUND! POUND! POUND!
Wendy was the one to pull away, "What was that?" she asked. Obviously, someone was at the door. Peter smirked, annoyed that they were interrupted, he glanced at the clock, 2 o'clock in the morning, who would be visiting at this time of night, "Should we answer it?" he asked.
POUND!!! POUND!!! POUND!!!
She paused for a moment, unsure of the answer, finally she moved towards the door, buttoning her night gown, Peter followed close behind.
Wendy hurried downstairs, hoping it was something she could deal with quickly. "Mother, who is it?" Jane had woken up. Upon seeing Peter, fixed her hair and went to his side, "I'm not sure dearest," Wendy didn't look at her, the guilt being far too much. Wendy turned the outside light on before opening the door, her jaw dropped, "Edward!" she gasped, Jane was by her side in a flash, she jumped in her father's arms, who hugged her tightly, "We're back," he said, and for the first time Wendy realized he wasn't alone, a cloaked figure stepped forward and removed his hat, "Hello, sis," he said. Wendy gasped again, "John! Oh, John! It's so good to see you!" she cried, taking her brother into her arms, he hugged her back, she let him go and stared at his face, immediately her smile disappeared. John looked haggard, as though he hadn't slept in weeks, his eyes were red, accompanied by deep bags underneath them, and stubble graced his chin. Wendy took his hand into hers, "What's wrong?" she asked. John looked down, Wendy assumed he was dishonorably discharged from the army, but he was looking down in order to pull something from his coat pocket, a dog tag, battered from the elements, on it read "Private, first class Michael Darling."
Immediately she started shaking her head, "No," she whimpered. Edward stepped forwards and grabbed her upper arms, "Wendy,"
"No! NO! NO!! NOOOO!!!!" her cries of anguish crescendoed to a devastated screech, she wanted to fall, but Edward held her up. John assisted him and both carried her to the guest room to the immediate right of the entrance. Danny, jolted awake by the screams came running down to see what was going on, "What's happe- DADDY!!! Daddy, you're ho-MOMMY! Why is mommy screaming?!" he started bawling, a sobbing Jane scooped him up and took him back up to his room.
Peter just stood there, while he was incapable of believing Michael was dead, rage filled his body at the fact that he couldn't help Wendy.
"Danny!" Jane shouted, Peter turned to see the hysterical 4 year old running down the stairs. Peter grabbed him and started back upstairs.
"I wanna see Mommy!" he shouted, struggling to break free.
"Me too…" Peter muttered and preceded to hand him over to Jane; he then walked silently to his room and slammed the door.
Come on in…
Whee! I are done! I are sorry me is take soo long to update, I are graduated and gotted a new jobby that take lots of time for me away for you. Forgives me! Anyway, it's hard to type like that so I return to my grammatically correct self. Peter and Wendy have decided, but it's not so simple, their fragile relationship just took a huge blow, will Wendy stick to her choice, or surrender true love for her family?
