Thanks for all the reviews guys, it means a lot to me.
Chapter 1 - The only way to fly
"Janet, I hate you!" Sandra screamed as she held onto the wall for all she was worth, fear and panic filling out every fiber in her body. She had probably never been so nervous and freaked out in her life, and having Janet here wasn't even calming her down. It was actually making her even more stressed out. She felt like punching Janet, it was her fault that they were here, it was Janet's fault that Sandra's life was once again on the lie. She didn't know how much more she could take. She thought for sure it was her time to die now. She was wearing gloves, but her knuckles had turned completely white underneath them as she was holding onto the wall as hard as she could, knowing that if she let go, she would most likely be dead in seconds. This was not how she wanted to end her life. She still had stuff left to do. She still hadn't found the right guy. She hadn't gotten any kids. She hadn't become a millionaire and she hadn't beaten Jill in poker.
She hadn't returned the book she borrowed from the library. Maybe now was a good time to die after all - before they sent their bill.
"Cut it out you chicken! This is fun!" Janet laughed as she connected Sandra's harness to her own, making sure with a skillfull hand that everything was secure and tight.
"It is not fun and I don't wanna do this! Working for Charlie is dangerous enough, why commit suicide!"
"This is not commiting suicide! I've done this a billion times and I'm still alive!"
"Alive but obviously brain damaged since you do it over and over! I have no idea how you talked me into this! You must hate me! Or love me since you wanna die with me!"
"Well Sandie, maybe a little of both!" Janet shouted, trying to outvote the loud sound of the airplane, as she grabbed onto Sandra's hands, pulling them away from the grip she had at the wall and pulled her towards the open door. "Now, do you remember everything I've told you?"
Sandra's face turned pale as she turned to look towards Janet. Sweat was breaking out on her forehead and she was shaking slightly as her brain went blank.
"No. I don't remember anything!" Sandra shouted, barely hearing her own voice as they walked to the door. Her eyes were screaming in panic. Janet just laughed as she reached over and put on Sandra's glasses before putting on her own.
"Well, just go with the flow then!"
"But what if…"
"WOHO!"
Sandra never got to finish the line before Janet pushed the two of them out of the airplane. Sandra screamed as she saw the ground underneath her, and Janet laughed loudly as they twirled around in the air. Janet loved to go parachuting, and she had been nagging Sandra to go with her for years, but Sandra had never let Janet talk her into it. But after these many years of nagging, Sandra had given in. She wasn't sure when or how much wine she had been drinking when she said yes, but somehow, Janet even had her agreement in writing. Sandra made a mental note never to drink with her again. Now she was strapped with her back towards Janet's tummy and the two of them were hovering around high above the ground.
Sandra had closed her eyes and screamed as they excited the airplane, but now she couldn't help but to look. The adrenaline rush came to its high peak and her scream changed into excitement and joy. This was so awesome.
Janet grabbed onto her arms and forced them back, and Sandra remembered what Janet had said about arching her back, pulling her arms back over her head and bending the knees, and she did as she was told. The wind ripped in their clothes, tugging every piece of fabric even though the black suits were tight around their bodies, and Sandra felt like she was flying, like she was soaring high above the sky like an eagle. Maybe like an angel? Never in her life had she ever felt so free, living life to its fullest and enjoying every second of it. She understood why Janet did this often.
Janet pulled out the parachute earlier than Sandra had expected, and Sandra was laughing and giggling in over bubbling joy as Janet brought them down safely onto a nearby field. Kamili was there waiting for them as they landed, and Sandra was bouncing towards her already before Janet had unhatched her harness. It resulted in Sandra jumping forward, pulling Janet with her who immediately stumbled. Sandra got pulled back by Janet's weight and fell face flat into the ground, Janet landing on top of her.
The sound of Kamili's explosive laughter could be heard miles away as she bent over upon seing her two best friends clumsy fall into a jiggering pile on the grass. Sandra was flailing her arms trying to get Janet off from her so she could breathe again, but Janet couldn't unhook herself and get off unless Sandra stayed still.
Sandra fought all she could and finally managed to roll over onto her back – with Janet underneath her. Sandra exhaled with a pleased smile on her face as Janet's face was covered in panic and irritation.
"Sandra god dammit! Roll onto your side and I can unhook you!" Janet wheezed, and Sandra suddenly realized where her friend had disappeared to.
Sandra quickly rolled onto her side and Janet exhaled loudly as she managed to unhook them from each other. Sandra immediately darted to her feet and ran for Kamili, pulling her into a tight hug, bouncing and jumping in the air.
"Kamili, that was AWESOME! Did you see us? It was awesome! I've never done anything like that before, holy cow!"
"You were awesome and I hate to spoil the fun, but Kelly called." Kamili smiled, putting her hand on top of Sandra's shoulder, in the same time as the two of them walked over to Janet who was taking care of the parachute.
"What did Kelly say?"
"First she said you two are nuts. And if you survive, she wants the three of us to the office as soon as possible, we have a case."
"Well then, time for reality." Janet smiled, laughing at Sandra who pouted. "Come on baby, at lunch I'll take you bungy jumping!"
"No thanks!" Sandra laughed happily as she took all the things off from herself and put it under her arm as she was bouncing back towards the car.
"Hang on there little lady! You have to help me with the parachute before we leave!" Janet called out after her, making Sandra sigh loudly. She just liked the fun part, she hated having to clean up after herself, no matter what it was about. Her shoulders slumpering forward she did her best to look as sad as possible as she walked back to Janet and helped her put the parachute back into a big bundle. The rest Janet could do by herself back at the center where Janet rented the parachute from. They cleaned it and made sure it was whole before putting it back in the sack, so to say.
Taking the entire thing in her arms, it was covering Sandra's entire upper body, including her face, and she giggled like a child when she realized she couldn't see where she was going. Kamili and Janet was walking behind her, the two of them rolling their eyes and laughing at their friend while pushing each other back and forth.
It didn't take long before Sandra let out a yelp and fell to the ground, everything in her arms going down with her. To Kamili and Janet's defense, they really tried their hardest to keep a stern face, for about 2 seconds, before they bent over laughing at her clumpsiness. They were leaning against each other, fighting hard to catch their breaths through the roaming laughter.
As they begun to calm down, they eventually realized that Sandra wasn't laughing along, nor that she had moved from the ground. Instead she was trying to get the heavy boot off from her left foot, and wincing badly while doing so.
"Hey." Janet said, realizing her friend was actually hurt stopped the laughs right away. She and Kamili quickly knelt next to her, Kamili sitting next to her side while Janet sat opposite her, putting Sandra's foot in her lap and carefully pulling the boot off which was accompanied by Sandra's sharp breaths of pain.
"I think I stumbled in a hole." Sandra said quietly, then moaned in pain as Janet carefully probed her ankle and foot. "I doubt that it's broken though, but it really hurts."
"Come on, I'll take you to the hospital and let them double check it." Janet said, as the two of them helped Sandra up, with her leaning on Kamili while Janet then reached down and took the parachute.
It was early December, and out on the street the rain had started to lightly fall, small drops of wet water hitting the sidewalk as Kelly rushed from her car into Kris' home. The morning had been beautiful, but the weather was quickly getting more chilly and gray. Kelly hurried to the front door, put her key in the lock and jumped into the hallway, escaping the rain just as it was starting to fall heavier. Kelly stopped in the door. In an attempt to try and get Kris sorted with her life, she and Jill had decided to try for a few weeks and not come every day to her house, which they had done since they were in Hawaii. They had been cooking for Kris, doing her laundry, doing her dishes and making sure there were food in the fridge and bills got paid. Thinking Kris needing a wake upp call, they had now the last two weeks only been here twice.
Kelly realized their plan had failed as she wrinkled her nose in disgust. What was that smell? Walking into the house she couldn't see Kris anywhere, and her nose made her walk to the kitchen. She quickly realized the smell was coming from the fridge, and not really sure why, she had to open it, just to make sure that it was the fridge and not a decompost body underneath the sink.
"I hope you're not eating out of this thing. I think there is some old moldy egg salad trying to crawl out." Kelly mumled to herself, opening the fridge door and then closing just as fast, feeling herself breath in heavy. Shit! That was not a nice smell! Kelly shook her head, wondering who would have to clean that out and wondered if she could hire someone to do it so she didn't have to. Perhaps she could just call the exterminators? Or maybe the Terminator?
Kelly couldn't help but to let out a giggle to herself. She, Jill, Peggy and Aurore had gone to see it a few months ago, just shortly after it's premiere. Ever since then, none of the four could stop quoting Arnold Schwarzenegger, and she had also quickly realized that her fellow angels had seen the movie. "I'll be back", "Get out" and "Fuck you asshole" was lines that was said every day, and giggles all around was always heard afterwards. Would it ever grow old?
Collecting her thoughts again Kelly shook her head and looked around, walking out into the house trying to find Kris. The house was a mess, stuff left everywhere, empty cans and wrapping of take out food. Well at least she had been eating. Kelly's nose was complaining as she walked by it all, shaking her head. Something had to be done.
"I hope personal hygiene is being taking care of, unlike this house?" Kelly kept mumbling to herself, heading into the living room where she found Kris on the couch, her head resting towards the armrest of the couch and her feet up into it. She was staring towards the TV, but it wasn't even turned on. Kelly sighed as she sunk down in the armchair next to Kris. Kris didn't appear to have noticed Kelly come in, but Kelly was dead certain that she knew exactly who it was sitting next to her without having to look. Kelly leaned her head back and rested it towards the back of the couch, unintentionally looking up into the roof.
"I see some creepy crawlers have taken residence in the corner of your ceiling?" Kelly said, raising an eyebrow as she saw the spider web.
"Yeah. Don't kill them though, I named a few." Kris spoke with a monotone voice, no life behind her words.
"That's... slightly disturbing." Kelly said, shaking her head slightly.
"Why are you so interested in how my house looks? I'm the only one here." Kris sighed, wishing Kelly could just leave her alone.
"Well... so the kids can visit OR better yet come home? Right? Yay!" Kelly clapped her hands, trying to get Kris excited about the idea. Kris didn't move, she didn't even bat an eyelash. She just laid there in the couch, immobile and … lost. Kelly sighed and looked over to Kris. "Okay. Maybe so it's not condemned by the board of health, huh?"
Kris sighed annoyed at Kelly's remarks, and kept staring into the black TV screen. Kelly sighed as well and looked out of the window. The rain was falling heavier now, soaking the ground and making people flee into their homes, leaving everything outside wet and gray.
And it was not just the weather taking a shade of gray, the woman in front of Kelly were just as gray as the clouds. Kelly turned to look at Kris, tiredness in her eyes. It had been almost nine months since Tommy past, and Kelly had tried everything. Kris hadn't changed much. She was steadier on her feet, but that was about it. The twins were living with Kelly, Aurore, Peggy or with Jill, since Kris didn't have the strength to take care of herself, even less two children.
Kelly had brought a bag with Chinese take out to Kris, and placed it on the small table right in front of Kris, who now looked down at it and sighed before looking back up and meeting Kelly's eyes.
"I'm not hungry."
"Yes you are, now sit up." Kelly sighed, moving over to the couch and jumping closer to Kris' feet. Kelly grabbed the remote and switched on the TV. "Here, I'll find you a cartoon if you're going to act like a kid. How about Sesame Street? Big Bird will teach you the basics in eating 101."
"Leave me alone." Kris said tiredly, trying to steal the remote back from Kelly, who waved it in the air a foot away from her hand.
"I can't do that."
"No, none of you can. You and Jill are here too often and I just... I want to be alone."
"You've been alone long enough, it's time you start standing back up on your own."
Kris mumbled some incoherant words before turning to the TV, where some documentary was playing out. Kris didn't seem to comprehend what was playing and neither did she care.
"I just wish I'd died too." Kris whispered, not being able to meet Kelly's eyes.
Kelly's face fell, but she already knew these feelings to be true. It was not the first time Kris had told her this, and it was easy to see how Kris felt. She was heartbroken, torn into pieces, her soul and body shattered. Kelly sighed sadly, feeling her own heart tug inside of her as she moved closer to Kris, gently touching Kris' cheek with the palm of her hand. Kris turned her head and met Kelly's deep, green eyes.
"Don't I make you happy enough?" Kelly whispered.
Kris' moved her head, tearing her eyes away from Kelly's. She knew that she was breaking Kelly's heart, and she didn't know how to respond. She let her face fall just like Kelly's had done a second ago, but at this point everything had gone so far. Kelly wasn't looking for silent communication anymore, she wanted words.
"Don't you care about our children? If you can't live for me, then at least them. Do it for them."
Kris remained silent. Kelly sighed again loudly before giving Kris a slight shove.
"Say something to me!"
"They're happier with you." Kris said while letting out a heavy breath.
"Why do you think such a thing? All the twins know is mommy, mommy, mommy! All Ella wants to do is to spend a day with you, she misses you something awful. And Jill... she's acting like someone killed her puppy."
"Please, stop. I'm no used to anyone."
"To me you are. You know that."
Kris' eyes met Kelly's again and gave Kelly a small smile. "You've always made me happy."
Kelly smiled back at her, those words warming her heart more than anything had done in a long time. Kris' eyes were filling up with tears and she leaned her head against Kelly's chest.
"Make it go away, Kelly. Make me feel normal again, please. Please... please... please... help me, please."
Kelly held her heard, one hand on her back and the other on top of Kris' head, stroking her hair softly, while whispering to her. "I promise. I'll do everything in my power to make you feel better."
They sat like that for several minutes, not talking, while Kris let her tears run down her cheeks, pressing her head and body towards Kelly. As Kris calmed down, Kelly pushed her away gently and put one hand underneath her chin.
"It'll start with me offering you a job..."
